A Cantaloupe's Lesson

Everyday life contains a wealth of opportunities to wake up! Today I talk about finding mindfulness in an everyday activity and the surprising lesson it teaches. Includes a 15-minute guided Mindfulness Meditation.

Transcript

One of the things I love most about the summer is cantaloupe season.

I love cantaloupe so much.

It is so good,

Like when I'm walking through the grocery store I can smell it five feet away.

I'm like,

It's just amazing.

Besides the fact that it,

You know,

When you have a good ripe one,

It smells so good,

The texture's perfect,

It's super juicy,

And the flavor is amazing.

Today I had some.

I had gone to Sprouts the other day and I bought cantaloupe.

It was ripe,

But I was lazy,

So it took me a couple days to cut it up.

This morning I was like,

I'm going to have some cantaloupe for my breakfast.

And so besides all of those wonderful things about it,

Today it had a lesson for me,

A mindfulness lesson,

Which I love when daily life will give me a mindfulness lesson,

Which it really,

If I'm paying attention every day,

Life has a mindfulness lesson for me and for all of us.

And as I'm cutting it,

I don't know where my mind was.

It wasn't on that because it's become so automatic,

You know,

Slice,

Slice.

Well,

I realized at one point I looked down and I had been putting the skins that I had sliced off in the bowl that I was going to put in the refrigerator with the cantaloupe in it,

And the actual cantaloupe on the cutting board where the skins were supposed to go.

And I realized it and I just kind of laughed and I was like,

Okay,

I get it.

I'm not being mindful in this moment.

So I switched it out.

But the thing that I learned in that,

Other than I wasn't being mindful in that moment,

Is that through the development of my mindfulness practice that has happened on the cushion,

That's spilling over into my daily life,

I realized that my ability to be compassionate with myself and to extend myself grace has increased and has spilled over into my daily life.

This is one of the beautiful fruits,

No pun intended,

Sorry,

Of a mindfulness practice.

We start to see when we're not mindful,

And instead of beating ourselves up over it,

Being frustrated,

Right,

Which is really what would have been my reaction in the past,

And also depending on my mood of the day,

Maybe I would have responded in a more frustrated way with myself.

Beating myself up,

Like,

Can't you do anything right?

Good Lord,

Why'd you do that again?

You know,

These would be,

Usually would have been my reactions to making this very innocent mistake.

I don't even know what I was thinking about,

But it didn't matter.

And it made me kind of smile and laugh at myself a little bit,

You know,

Giving myself this grace that,

You know,

Realizing that it's okay,

I'm making a mistake.

But the important piece was that I realized I was doing it in the moment of doing it.

You know,

Like I had cut a couple of slices of that cantaloupe before I realized it,

But only took a couple.

Sometimes,

Depending on where our minds are,

We might cut the whole thing before we realize that we haven't been focusing.

Maybe it takes us cutting our finger,

You know,

To wake us up into the moment.

So this is a really easy illustration of how mindfulness can spill over into our daily lives off the cushion.

You know,

We talk about how it's really important to develop a mindfulness practice in a formal way like this.

And this is why 10 years ago,

15 years ago,

There would have been no grace for me in that situation.

I would have just been mad at myself.

Like,

Here I go again,

Making another mistake.

Can I do anything right?

But now I see,

Okay,

You know,

Just made a little mistake.

It's all right.

Like Sharon Salzberg,

Who is one of,

Like,

Really,

The original people that brought these mindfulness practices to the West,

She really focuses in her teachings on loving kindness and compassion.

And she tells a story about,

She knew that her meta practice,

Which is a loving kindness practice,

She knew that that was really beginning to take hold in her.

When she was walking,

And I'm going to paraphrase this very loosely,

Because I haven't heard the story in a while.

But when she was walking,

And she stumbled and she dropped something.

And instead of just berating herself for making this very innocent mistake,

She said to herself,

It's okay,

It's just a mistake.

And how many times in our lives do we do something?

And we beat ourselves up over it.

If we had a friend who did the same thing,

We wouldn't be like,

What's wrong with you?

You know,

Hopefully,

We wouldn't keep that friend very long,

If that's how we treated them all the time.

And we've heard that saying before,

You know,

We treat ourselves the worst of anybody in our lives.

So when we're sitting on the cushion,

And we're starting to really get to know ourselves,

We're starting to observe how our minds work,

How we react to thoughts that we have,

How we react to what we perceive as our inability to not think.

These are all of the lessons that we that we learn through our mindfulness practice on the cushion.

And that's why it's so important to establish a regular practice,

Whatever your day will allow for,

Even if it's five minutes.

You know,

Sometimes we just don't have a 30 minute sit in us.

And that's okay.

We extend that grace to ourselves in that situation,

Too.

There are plenty of days when I'm like,

I just I just can't do it.

But I'm committed to myself,

I remind myself,

You know what,

You made this commitment.

Just sit down for five minutes.

Often that five minutes will turn into 1520.

Because once we settle ourselves there,

Sometimes it's just getting there.

It's the hard part,

Right?

So we really begin to know ourself intimately,

In our inner world.

And that will begin to reflect in our outer world,

Not just in our relationships with other people,

But also in relationship to ourselves.

And it really starts with the relationship to ourselves.

And that's what reverberates out into our world,

Into our other relationships.

Right?

That's when we start to really make changes.

Even if we don't do it consciously,

We probably mostly do it consciously.

But it starts to also happen without our even realizing it.

Because we're starting to really listen to ourselves inside.

So let's go ahead and do a sit.

Just come into whatever posture is your chosen posture,

Allowing yourself to be upright,

Sitting in a dignified way,

Without straining or forcing or tensing the muscles.

You're welcome to close your eyes or have your eyes at a soft gaze a couple feet in front of you.

Begin by taking in three deep inhales and exhales at your own pace.

And then allow your breath to fall into its natural rhythm.

Allow your body to sink into the floor,

The cushion,

The chair below you.

As you notice your body relaxing more into the space,

Notice if there's anywhere in your body may still be holding tension.

We commonly hold a lot of tension in our jaw,

Our neck and shoulders.

So just notice if you may be holding any tightness there.

And allow it to just soften a little,

Open and loosen.

Allow yourself to sink further into your body,

Noticing all the sensations in your body.

Notice where you can feel the touch of your feet on the floor,

The cushion below your seat.

Notice the connection of the touch between your hands and your lap.

Notice the feeling of the shirt on your skin,

The feeling of the waist of your shorts or your pants around your waist.

Just allow yourself to notice all of these sensations and any others you may feel.

As you bring all of these sensations into your awareness,

Notice if there's any one particular sensation that is more prominent than the others.

Really allow the characteristics of the sensation to make themselves known to you,

Whether it feels hard or soft,

Open or closed,

Hot or cold,

Numbness or tingling.

Whatever the characteristics of this sensation may be,

Allow them to make themselves known to you.

This is your anchor today,

Place within your body which you can always return,

No matter what you're thinking,

What you're feeling,

What may be happening in your life,

In your relationships.

This is a refuge to which you may always return.

As you rest your awareness in this anchor,

You may notice from time to time that you're taken away,

Perhaps into thoughts,

Into sound,

Into just anything else that may take you away from that anchor.

When you notice it,

Just give yourself a little bow of acknowledgement,

Allowing it to exist without judging,

Without being harsh with yourself,

Giving it a soft,

Neutral label,

Free of judgment,

Something like thinking.

Just allow yourself to gently come back to the anchor within your body.

As you rest your awareness,

As you notice when you leave,

As you bring yourself back,

Allow your awareness to include the subtle emotions or beliefs about yourself that may come up along with the leaving and the noticing,

Allowing them to rest in the awareness and make themselves known to you as well without rejecting them or pushing them away,

Just noticing and bringing yourself back to the anchor.

As we come to the final moments of this meditation,

I invite you,

If it feels right for you,

To place your hand on your chest,

Over your heart,

Sensing the tenderness of this gesture towards yourself and offer yourself gratitude.

Gratitude for clearing a small space in your day,

To listen,

To prioritize your inner world,

To develop the relationship with yourself.

I'll close out this meditation with this poem called Breathing My Way Back.

I'm in the kitchen peeling sweet potatoes.

Chopping the onions she grew from her own rich soil.

Gently squeezing one avocado after another until I find the one that is the perfect age of ripe.

Hands are busy peeling and chopping while mind skips from one terror to another.

Cars and houses drowning in water.

Forests on fire.

Monster winds that rip roofs off hearts and homes.

People running from war to more war.

Fingers painted in soft green avocado now.

Feet stand on the hickory wood floor.

Mind chasing and trying to outrun the fire,

The flood of too much.

Then I remember to return,

To breathe my way back to where the body is.

I remember that instead of scrolling and chasing and running,

I can roll out the yoga mat.

I can bow to every tree that has ever stood.

I can feed myself so I can be one of the ones who helps rather than hurts.

For now though,

I am still here in the kitchen peeling sweet potatoes,

Chopping onions,

Making a meal so my family and I can sit gratefully around the table and eat.

When you're ready,

You're welcome to open your eyes and come back into the space.