Welcome to today's meditation.
My name is Jacqueline and I am a licensed therapist and today we're going to be talking about particularly difficult relationships in your life.
I want you to visualize this other person.
It could be somebody you work with,
Could be a family member,
Friend,
Maybe even your spouse.
Whoever it is,
There is turmoil between the two of you and relational issues can cause a deep strain on our mental health and our well-being and I want to offer you perspective today.
I call this zooming out.
There's a term that I recently came across.
I've been having this experience since I was a child but I didn't know there was a word for it and the word is sonder.
It's this idea that everyone you see,
Everyone else in the world,
Is living a life as deep and meaningful as your own.
I want to keep that in mind today as we discuss these relational issues that you're having right now because it feels heavy and it feels like targeted.
Maybe this person is out to get you.
They don't have your best interests in mind.
They're inconsiderate and hurtful and the things that they do and say it's causing you a lot of pain and so we're going to take a moment to zoom out.
The person that you're dealing with has very real lived experiences of their own.
They've endured traumas.
They've endured pain and suffering.
They've had hardships and challenges to overcome,
Just like you.
And as you know better than anyone,
Those real life experiences shape us.
They change the way that we function in this world.
And when you are experiencing these issues in this relationship and you just say to yourself,
Why can't you be more compassionate?
Why is this person so harmful?
Why can't they see things from my perspective?
Why are they so selfish and mean and nasty?
I want you to remember to zoom out.
Get curious.
What has happened in their life that has made it difficult for them to see things from your point of view?
What life experiences have shaped their current reality?
Are they truly a malicious,
Nasty,
Bad person?
Or are they someone who has been molded by life's experiences?
Maybe you're seeing a glimpse into the way that they had to survive their childhood.
This is how they had to communicate to endure some of the most difficult times in their life.
Maybe they have some unhealed parts to them that are begging to be seen and heard,
Very similar to you.
And so I would challenge you to zoom out.
Take a step back and look at the situation with fresh eyes.
How can you use zooming out and a pause on the situation to get a better view of what's going on?
Very rarely are people truly trying to be intentionally hurtful or malicious.
Most of the time,
These people's reactions and responses,
Or lack thereof,
Are simply a result of their own conditioning based on life experiences.
Most things we do is pretty automatic,
Without much intentional thought or purpose.
So when you zoom out,
Are we able to offer more grace to this person in the situation?
Are we able to get curious about their reactions and their responses,
Rather than shoving our own defense mechanisms sky high and pushing people away and becoming combative?
How can you practice using the skill of zooming out to gain more perspective over the situation and hold space for people to have a different perspective and experience than your own?
