Hello and welcome to this brief holiday reflection.
We are rapidly approaching the end of the 2025 year and it's important that you have a safe space to explore all the thoughts and feelings that might be coming up.
My name is Jaclyn and I am a licensed therapist and life coach.
I'm also a wife,
A mom,
A daughter,
A sister,
And so many other things.
And as I approach this holiday season and reflect on the past year,
A lot of things have been coming up for me.
A lot of big emotions that feel heavy and I thought I would share that here briefly because I am certain that I'm not the only one feeling this way.
My inner child is demanding to be heard this holiday season.
The version of me who was shuffled around from house to house,
Who felt like the holidays were just one big checklist.
Did you get the best present for everyone?
Were you thoughtful enough?
Did you spend enough time with each person who expected you to spend time with them?
Did you sacrifice your holiday,
Your peace,
Your joy,
So that you could be in a vehicle shuffled around to see everyone else?
And if I were to fulfill that checklist,
Then it was considered a successful holiday.
And now that I'm an adult and I have more ability to set boundaries and expectations and create traditions with my family,
I am able to recognize that I didn't have joy in those moments.
I was neglecting my wants and needs and they were being neglected by others.
I was being performative.
I was doing what I had to do to appease the other adults in my life and I was just a child.
And that version of me,
That child part in me,
Continues to surface now,
Even though I'm a grown woman with a family of my own,
Because I feel very protective of my two small children and not repeating this pattern that other people are entitled to our time,
Our energy,
Our financial resources,
And gift buying and all of these things.
And so I'm honoring that version of myself who says,
Please slow down.
Please stop appeasing everyone.
Please do what is best for us and our tiny family.
And that means having tough conversations and setting firm boundaries.
And it has ended up in several bouts of tears and anger and frustration.
But change isn't always comfortable.
It rarely is.
And I'm leaning into that.
I'm leaning into the version of me who I am now,
Who is capable of advocating for herself and doing what's best for her family.
And I'd encourage you to do the same.
If you are out buying gifts and loading up your credit card going,
Well,
This is just part of the deal.
This is what I have to do.
I'm obligated.
I want you to pause and think again.
If you are running yourself ragged,
Trying to bake all the cookies and clean your house and decorate,
Is there joy in that?
Slow down and check in with yourself.
Chances are you are just repeating patterns.
Maybe it was what was modeled for you by your family.
And I want you to have a voice and a say in this.
I want you to be able to decide whether or not that feels joyful for you.
The spending,
The traveling,
The gift giving,
The baking,
The cooking,
The cleaning.
If you were to sit down right now and write a little journal entry about what your perfect holiday would look like,
What would it include?
And if these things are not a part of that,
I am challenging you to rethink how you're going about this and make some changes.
Have the tough conversations,
Set the boundaries and take care of yourself.
I am wishing you a very happy,
Peaceful,
Stress-free holiday season and the happiest new year.
