Welcome.
The purpose of this meditation is to help ground us after a conflict with someone we love.
Maybe that we can re-engage with them more skillfully,
Or maybe just be able to put it down for some time,
Be able to go to sleep or go back to work,
But at its heart,
Getting us to settle down and shift gears.
Let's start by taking a deep breath in and out.
Again,
Deep breath in and out.
And with every breath,
Trying to elongate the exhale,
Slowing that down,
And bringing your body back into rhythm.
Just keep settling down.
It's okay if you're worked up,
Just stay with it.
Conflict is part of the human experience.
Even with those we love,
We can have misunderstandings,
And hurt feelings.
And while we can't change what just happened,
We can decide how we wanna show up for ourselves and decide whether we wanna get into the feedback loop.
We can always choose to respond rather than react.
And just keep settling and softening.
Noticing where your body is holding tension.
Maybe it's your jaw,
Your shoulders,
Your stomach,
And anywhere you can just soften.
If that's hard to do,
Feel the contact points between you and the floor,
You and the cushion or the chair,
And use that to settle.
And if the fight that you just had comes to mind,
Simply notice what emotions arise.
Anger,
Guilt,
Sadness,
Frustration.
And can you allow them to be present?
Can you sit with them?
There's nothing to fix or change in this moment.
And if you find yourself unable to let go,
Or you're a mess with the thoughts and feelings,
Try to shift your focus.
Instead of replaying the fight,
Bring to mind something about this person that you love.
A moment of kindness,
An inside joke,
Whatever helps you to shift your focus and release some of that tension.
Some of the constriction around this person.
We're not trying to take away your feelings of frustration or anger.
We're just trying to help you tap into the larger frame,
Widening the aperture.
When we fight with someone we love,
It can feel almost like stubbing our toe.
It's the only part of our body.
It's the only part of our experience of that person.
And we're just reminding ourselves that there's more there.
That conflict doesn't erase love.
And multiple things can be true at the same time.
I can be so disappointed in you and still hold you in my heart.
I can be so angry and still grateful that you're in my life.
Just keep breathing and grounding.
Remember to take deep breaths in,
Filling the lungs and then taking a very long exhale.
Remembering that being uncomfortable is a part of the human experience.
That conflict is a part of connection.
And although you're feeling distant,
Potentially angry towards this person,
The connection's still there.
And sometimes anger just indicates an unmet need.
So maybe we can be curious about what that need might be.
Maybe you're just looking for acknowledgement from your partner.
Maybe you're just hungry and tired.
Be curious if there's any unmet needs here and whether they could be met in another way or how you could have communicated your needs more skillfully.
Continue to breathe,
Continue to ground.
Take another deep breath in.
Start to become aware of the room around you.
Maybe wiggle around in your chair a bit.
Sway your body side to side.
And whenever you're ready,
You can open your eyes and greet a new moment.
