Paradox Of Meditation

*LIVE TALK 1/17/26
We often come to meditation hoping to feel calmer, clearer, or more at peace, yet what we first encounter is ourselves : restless, tender, distracted, and deeply human. In this talk, we explore the paradox at the heart of meditation. Genuine presence arises not through effort or self-improvement, but through willingness to meet whatever is here. Rather than trying to 'do' meditation correctly, this offering invites a gentle shift toward allowing, listening, and befriending our inner experience. It invites us into a more honest relationship with ourselves, both on the cushion and in everyday life. Includes the experience of embodied guided meditation.

Transcript

Let's begin,

My friends,

Even though there's no beginning and there's no end.

Our title today is The Paradox of Meditation.

And you might have a meditative practice,

Or you might not.

Whatever the case is,

I think you might find little nuggets in this talk that can support you to more deeply understand what meditation is and what meditation isn't.

And then,

Of course,

The benefits that we gain from it.

So most of us come to meditation hoping to feel better,

To feel calmer,

Clearer,

More at peace.

But when we sit down,

What we end up finding is this restless mess,

This distracted,

Restless,

Anxious,

Lots of thoughts kind of human.

And so I want to invite you to consider these three main paradoxes of meditation.

And the first one,

Paradox of meditation,

Is that we sit,

In effect,

To do nothing.

And this can feel really uncomfortable for a lot of people because we're so deeply conditioned to believe that if we're sitting in meditation,

It's only valuable if we're producing something,

If we're getting somewhere.

So when we sit and nothing happens,

The mind starts to panic.

The mind starts to say,

Wait,

Wait,

What am I supposed to do?

I must be doing this wrong.

But the big misconception here,

And the paradox,

Is that meditation is not an inactivity.

It's not inactivity that we sit and we're trying really hard to do nothing.

No.

My friends,

Meditation is non-interference.

It's not interfering with whatever arises.

So when we sit,

We let the breath breathe itself rather than control it.

We don't manage our thoughts.

We simply notice them.

We don't try to fix our emotions and stop feeling sad or angry.

We allow the emotions to move through.

So in this sense,

Doing nothing doesn't mean being passive about the experience of meditation.

It means not getting in the way,

Not meddling,

Not interfering.

And this is a radical act in a culture that equates our worth with productivity.

So it's scary to stop doing,

To sit and just be in presence.

But it's precisely when we sit in presence to whatever is arising,

And we'll dive deeper into that in a moment,

When we sit in presence to whatever is arising,

We touch into awareness,

Our conscious awareness,

Our true nature,

Our baseline,

That which holds everything,

That deep presence.

So some people think that I need to become aware.

There's no becoming aware.

There is simply uncovering awareness.

And that's where meditation really helps us.

So think of awareness like the sky.

That's the analogy that is just the simplest for me to understand.

The sky doesn't come and go.

The sky is always and already present.

But the clouds come and go.

So imagine the clouds are the thought stream of our mind,

The constant coming and going of thoughts.

When we sit in meditation,

Effortless effort,

Not trying to do anything,

Which might be the hardest thing when we try not to do anything.

What we're in effect doing is we're noticing the thought stream,

We're noticing the emotions,

We're noticing the bodily sensations that are present.

And as they slowly dissolve away,

Like the clouds in the sky,

The awareness becomes visible.

But it's not that we create awareness.

It's always there.

We just don't live from the space.

So that present awareness remains when all of the effort falls away.

Let me know if that makes sense to you.

We're going into the second paradox.

And the second paradox of meditation is when we practice and we realize there's nowhere to go.

And this is one of the most frustrating paradoxes because we are a goal-oriented culture.

We are going somewhere.

We start to meditate because we want to get somewhere.

We want to get to feeling peace,

To feeling calm,

To healing,

To feeling free.

We're meditating to get somewhere.

And this is the paradox,

My friend,

That there's nowhere to get.

There's no there,

There.

So the practice of meditation is not about changing us in the way that our mind expects.

I start out stressed out and now I'm all calm.

That would be a common reason to start meditating.

But in effect,

That's not the goal of meditation.

If there is any goal,

I would say the goal,

Quote-unquote-unquote,

Is to meet the meditator.

To meet the one who is meditating.

And to slowly drop away the one who is meditating,

Which is the ego construct.

So over time,

We awaken to a new reality.

Which reality?

The reality that there is no future version of ourselves who's finally perfectly okay.

It doesn't exist,

My friends.

There is no there,

There.

There is nowhere to go.

Life is already and always and only right here.

Right here.

In this breath.

On this love stream.

Between us.

Awareness is already here.

The peace that you're seeking is already here.

The freedom is not somewhere at the end of the rainbow.

It's not somewhere waiting for you on the end of the path.

It's already here.

And we'll explore some of that in guided meditation in a couple of minutes.

So the Buddha spoke of enlightenment not as something that is acquired,

That we achieve,

That we go to get.

It's more something that is recognized in the here and now.

Just like the sky metaphor.

The sky is always there.

We just need to uncover the clouds so that we can see it.

I also love the analogy of the mirror.

The reflection in the mirror is always there.

The reflection doesn't go anywhere.

But if the mirror is cloudy or dirty or dusty,

We can't see our own reflection.

We can't see our true self.

So meditation helps us to polish the mirror.

It helps us to remove obstacles.

And it helps us to stay with the present moment version of ourselves.

So whenever we're practicing meditation,

We're actually engaging in a gentle undoing of our beliefs.

And the biggest belief is that this moment,

This life,

This family,

This situation as it is,

Is not enough.

And then using future thinking.

When I have enough money.

When I lose 10 pounds.

When whatever,

You can fill in the blank.

Sometime in the future,

That's when it's going to be enough.

But it's these belief systems that keep us in prison.

So when the beliefs soften,

We open.

Our heart-mind opens to life as it is right now.

Exactly where you are.

The good,

The bad,

And the ugly.

The full catastrophe.

The full mess of it.

And we learn to accept.

And we learn to manage the repeating thought streams,

The repeating emotions that hold us back.

So the third paradox that a lot of people have around meditation is how effort relaxes into effortlessness.

So of course,

In the beginning,

There is some effort required.

Because we need to make a choice to bring meditation into our lives.

Whether it's a sitting meditation,

A walking meditation,

A Vipassana,

Insight meditation of self-inquiry,

Whatever type of meditation you like to engage in.

And I invite you to try many different types to see what really resonates for you.

We need to make some effort to choose to sit on the cushion or to go to a retreat.

Or to return to our breath over and over and over again.

But there is a point,

My friends,

Where the effort becomes strained.

And we find ourselves striving,

Really trying to make this meditation work.

We find our body tightening,

And maybe our mind also tightening,

Trying to grasp.

So when we notice that this is happening,

This efforting,

We pay attention to it.

And we see that it slowly dissolves once we call a thing a thing.

Once we call it out and say,

Oh,

Wow,

I'm really tensing up trying to make this meditation thing happen.

I'm trying so hard to do it right.

But when we learn the difference between a sincere commitment to the practice and to the process versus forceful commitment,

Where I'm forcing myself to do this.

When we see the difference between sincere commitment versus force,

Our effort matures.

And it matures into more of a devotion without tension.

So we learn to flow.

Just like,

Have you ever tried learning to float in the pool or in the ocean?

Float on your back?

You know how in the beginning when you're trying,

You try to hold yourself up in the water?

And then one day you just trust the water.

And floating happens.

It's the same with meditation.

You just trust your presence is enough.

And then meditation becomes less about doing it right and more about just not interfering,

Not getting in our own way.

So this effortless effort is the concept of right effort from the Eightfold Path that the Buddha offered us.

And really it's about not too tight,

Not too loose.

If you're holding a bird,

A baby bird,

If you hold her too tight,

You're going to suffocate her.

If you hold her too loose,

She's going to fly away.

So gentle,

Gentle holding ourselves in meditation.

And we'll do that together in a few minutes to experience it.

Gently returning to the breath instead of scolding ourselves.

Oh my gosh,

Look at your mind.

Again,

Your mind just went off distracting and thinking about lunch or thinking about what happened yesterday and you said the thing that you shouldn't have said,

Right?

This is how our minds work,

My friends.

Our conditioned mind.

This is not our mind of clarity.

This is not the mind of awareness.

This is the busy,

Untrained mind.

So we want to be kind to ourselves in this effortless effort.

If we feel that we're striving,

Then we might ask ourselves to return to the breath gently and we bring the mind back to the breath.

Again.

Take it with me.

Deep breath.

And perhaps if we're meditating and feeling kind of dull or sleepy,

We might invite ourselves to open our eyes because that might be the kindest thing that we can do in that moment rather than berate ourselves for falling asleep and not paying attention.

Or if we feel our bodies feeling tense,

We're just trying so hard to sit up straight,

Just back straight,

Neck up,

And we're feeling tense,

We might invite ourselves to soften.

And if we feel there's a certain emotion happening that's really challenging,

Maybe sadness,

Loneliness,

Resentment,

Instead of trying to push ourselves to transcend the emotion,

Instead we allow the emotion.

Just allow the emotion to be here.

But I think the best way to look at it is the middle path is the path between self-improvement,

So we don't want to be fixing ourselves constantly,

And self-abandonment.

And we don't want to fully abandon ourselves.

Can we find that balance?

And we can help ourselves find the balance with a question.

What do I need right now?

What do I need right now?

When I sit on the meditation cushion,

Do I need to let go?

Do I need to rest?

Do I need to be vulnerable?

What do I actually need right now?

I would love to know how you relate to meditation,

Because meditation is truly a relationship.

We build a relationship with the meditative experience.

So let me know if you'd like to share what your experience is with meditation,

If you've ever tried it,

If you haven't tried it,

And also let's dive into just a short little three-minute return to the breath,

Effortless effort.

Let's embody and experience what we've been talking about in these last minutes.

So I invite you to find a comfortable space in your body,

Close your eyes,

And connect to your breath.

Bringing the light of your awareness to the breath.

Taking a deep inhale through the nose,

Blowing up the belly like a big balloon,

And exhaling through the mouth,

A long,

Slow exhale.

Finding your own rhythm.

Not too fast.

Not too slow.

Just this.

Notice how you're feeling as you're taking these breaths.

The nervous system calming.

The mind quieting down.

And if your mind is busy with thoughts,

You're not doing it wrong,

That's okay.

Simply notice the thought,

Label it,

And then let it go,

Coming back to the breath.

So if a judgmental thought comes in,

Simply label it,

Judgy thought,

And come back to your breath.

If a thought of boredom comes in,

Oh,

This is so boring,

Simply naming it,

Boring thought,

Helps you release it and then let it go.

Like watching the waves of the ocean coming in and leaving the shore.

And ask yourself,

What is needed right now?

What is needed in this moment?

Is there an emotion here that's present,

That's knocking on your door and trying to get your attention?

Notice it.

Feel it in your body,

Not in your mind.

Don't think about your emotion.

See if you can find it in your physical body.

Notice what is the sensation attached to that emotion.

Perhaps contraction in the chest or throat or abdomen,

Or perhaps expansion in the chest or solar plexus.

Simply noticing.

If you feel lost,

Simply come back to the breath.

The breath is like the Hansel and Gretel breadcrumbs.

It leads us back home.

Breathing in,

I know I am breathing in.

Breathing out,

I know I am safe.

And when you're ready,

Perhaps do some neck circles or shoulder circles.

Open your eyes and bring yourself into this space.

And check in with yourself.

How does it feel to take some conscious breaths,

To notice the mind,

To notice the emotions,

To notice the bodily sensations?

How does that feel for you?

Is it something you're familiar with in your life?

Or is it something that you never do?

So you might ask,

Why is it important to do some of these practices on the cushion?

When we say on the cushion,

We mean in meditation.

It might be a walking meditation,

It might not be a literal cushion,

Or you might be sitting up in bed,

But it's just a phrase on the cushion.

The reason that it's so important to meet ourselves on the cushion or in meditation is because whatever we meet in meditation is what's happening in our life.

It's showing up everywhere.

So for example,

If I'm sitting in meditation and I'm trying really hard to just rest,

But I keep having this loop talking in my head saying,

You know,

You shouldn't rest,

You need to be earning your rest,

You didn't work enough,

You didn't do this enough in order to rest.

That's going to happen in our real life.

If I can't stop chasing this better version of myself when I'm sitting in meditation and I keep telling myself I'm doing it wrong,

This is just not working out,

I don't know how to do this,

Beating myself up,

I'm doing that off the cushion too.

I'm doing it everywhere.

If in meditation I can't let go of an outcome,

If I'm just fixated on having this meditation create some kind of result,

Some kind of outcome and achievement for me,

Then I'm living my life out there in the same way.

So you can see how important meditation is.

It teaches us how to be with life as a reality,

As a reality to meet.

This is the big surprise that we find when we meditate,

My dear,

Dear friends,

Is that we discover the quiet freedom of being exactly who I am.

And when we meditate regularly we can bring this freedom off the cushion and into our lives.

So you can see that every once in a while I take a deep breath,

I just pause in my speech,

I speak slower,

And I take a deep inhale and a deep exhale.

Take it with me.

It's a one-breath meditation.

It's a one-breath meditation.

So for those of you that might think,

Oh my gosh,

I just don't have time to meditate.

I'm not going to go do 20 minutes,

30 minutes,

An hour.

I don't have time to get good at this thing.

But what if you don't have to get good at anything?

What if it's as simple as this one-breath micro meditation?

Let's do it again.

What if when you practice meditation anchoring to the breath,

Coming back to the body,

Releasing the thought stream,

Not identifying with the emotion of the moment,

What if when you practice this over and over and over again you can actually bring it off the cushion and into your life and whenever there is a moment of overwhelm,

A moment of anxiety,

A moment that you just feel like you can't handle it,

You remember to come back to that one-breath meditation.

What then?

How would that support you?

How would your life change?

Lisa,

Welcome.

Lisa writes,

I've practiced meditation daily for years and still your message is so valuable.

I deeply appreciate your shared wisdom.

Thank you,

Lisa.

Thank you for the kind words and thank you for the share.

Yes,

We practice daily for years without trying to get it right,

Which is the biggest paradox of them all,

Right?

Because when we practice anything else in our lives we're goal-oriented.

If we practice piano,

We're trying to learn a song.

If we practice pickleball,

We want to win a game.

If we practice learning a language,

We want to speak a language.

So the biggest paradox and misconception with meditation is that we practice over and over again simply so that we can return to the practice.

There's no goal.

Does meditation practice support us in feeling better and calming the mind,

Calming the body,

Calming the emotions and the thought stream?

Mostly,

Yes.

But that's not the goal.

Really,

If there was a goal for all of you that are so goal-oriented that your brain is saying,

Please,

Dr.

Tammy,

Give me a goal.

I need a goal here.

The goal is about befriending our mind,

Not calming the mind.

The intention is to befriend our mind.

So one of the big misconceptions is that we need to stop thinking.

We need to stop our thoughts to be calm and peaceful when we meditate.

We actually come to meditation to stop our thoughts.

That's a big beginning meditation practice for a lot of people.

They come so that they can just stop thinking.

They come to meditation for relief,

For peace,

Maybe even to find some enlightenment,

A little enlightenment on the side.

We imagine that meditation is going to quiet our mind,

Smooth us out,

Soften all of our rough edges and make us this better version of ourselves.

But what happens when we sit down to meditate with all these expectations?

We sit to meditate and what do we find?

We find this restless,

Anxious mind.

We find this body that just won't sit still.

It keeps fidgeting.

It's got an itch here.

It's got an itch there.

It's got a cramp in the legs.

And we find this mind that is judging and planning and ruminating.

Basically,

We find a mind that absolutely refuses to cooperate.

But I think some of you got to see in our little guided meditation that was just a few minutes long together just a couple minutes ago that we can return to that space.

We can return to that space of embodied presence.

To the space of being the sky,

Not the clouds that cover it.

And yes,

My friends,

It takes practice.

Why?

Because we've been practicing living in the clouds,

Living in the mind stream,

In the thought stream,

Identifying with our emotions and our belief systems.

We've been practicing that for decades,

Years upon years upon years.

So those beliefs and those conditioned habits of mind are so automated that in order to switch,

To do something different,

We need to practice.

And for many of us,

That ego gets in the way.

That first thought when I sit down and I try to practice and I close my eyes and then I peek and I open one eye and I close my eyes and I try not to move and then I have this itch because I have an itch because the fan overhead is just blowing this one little hair right on my cheek and it's just itching me.

And the ego says,

You are doing this all wrong.

And by the way,

That one little hair blowing is a true story.

Every time I go to silent retreat I put my hair up so that it doesn't bother me.

But inevitably the fans overhead start blowing one little hair just gets loose and it's like you are my teacher right now,

Little hair.

And that little hair just comes and tickles me somewhere on my forehead,

On my chin.

And what do I do?

Do I go with a ego mind that says,

Oh,

Don't you dare scratch that itch.

You want to be a good meditator.

Look at the person over there.

They're not moving.

They're not scratching anything.

Or do I bring tenderness to myself and notice that flowing little hair and grab it and put it away and scratch the itch.

So if anything,

My friends,

Meditation is about non-resistance.

Because we get to look at how much we resist in our lives.

We get to look at that on the cushion in meditation.

And then we get to look at that in our regular life.

Do I live from a space of resistance?

Do I resist my daughter not being the way I want her to be?

Do I resist my son being a snarky teenager when he behaves that way?

Do I resist the weather?

How are you living your life?

My dear friend,

How are you living your life?

Are you living your life in resistance to the what is?

Are you resisting reality?

Think about it.

It's a good question.

I have more questions than answers.

So I invite you into the question.

You have the answers for you.

How are you living your life?

If we were to put resistance and non-resistance on a scale,

What would your scale look like right now?

The life that you're living right now.

Would the resistance be heavier?

Or would the non-resistance be more present?

Which one is more present for you?

Are you living more from a space of resisting the what is,

Pushing it away and thus creating more suffering for yourself and others?

Or are you living from a space of non-resistance,

Allowing the flow?

The meditative practice is about meeting what's here.

Meeting who we already are in this moment without judgment.

And if there is judgment,

We get to meet the judgment without judging the judgment.

So meditation is not a space of doing.

It's a space of befriending the mind.

Befriending the mind.

Not calming the mind,

Not quieting the mind,

Not telling the mind to stop talking.

Just befriending the mind.

And when we practice that in meditation,

We're able to then pluck it off the cushion and bring that practice into quote-unquote real life.

So we want to be really honest and we want to be really precise when we do this kind of self-inquiry.

For our own benefit,

The beauty of the meditative practice is that whatever we live on the cushion in our meditation,

We're actually looking at the rest of our lives and how we really expand this to the rest of our lives.

So if on the cushion there is discomfort,

Dissatisfaction,

Restlessness,

Self-criticism,

Maybe grief is coming up or fear,

You're not failing at the meditative practice.

This is the practice.

It's noticing the first noble truth.

And the first noble truth is life includes discomfort.

Life is not here to make us happy.

We are in this life to awaken,

My friends.

To awaken.

So the meditative practice becomes a mirror to show us what's here.

And we encounter all these things that we spend our life trying to avoid or manage.

The restlessness,

The self-criticism,

The grief.

We find those things when we finally sit still.

So it's not about pushing away the emotions that have come up.

It's not about pushing away resisting.

It's about bringing right effort.

Right effort is another one of the eightfold path that the Buddha described to support us and how to live a life with less suffering.

So bringing right effort to our meditation practice is simply bringing a steady presence.

Not forced.

Relaxed.

Steady.

It's bringing this willingness to stay with ourselves.

To not abandon ourselves,

Especially when things feel uncomfortable.

So we're not fixing ourselves.

We're not striving to have a good meditation period.

We're not forcing the mind to be quiet.

We're simply committing to the willingness to stay here.

To stay here when things feel uncomfortable.

And you can see the tremendous value in that in doing it in a meditation practice because then we can expand that.

Over time we can expand that into the world.

Expand it into our regular lives.

So again,

Right effort is about not too tight,

Not too loose.

Another analogy I like is tightening a guitar string.

For those of you who like string instruments.

If you tighten it too tight,

It's going to snap.

If you don't tighten it enough,

It's not going to play.

You're not going to have a sound.

So effortless effort,

The right effort is simply staying with the what is.

Not too tight,

Not too loose.

So this peace that we're all seeking is not something that we achieve.

And that's what we learn with this paradox of meditation.

When we develop a meditative practice,

We realize we're grasping for this peace but it's not over there.

It's not on the cushion.

It's not in meeting your soulmate.

That's nice,

But that's not where the peace lasting peace and freedom live.

Not there.

This peace is something that becomes available when we stop arguing with life.

When we stop arguing with reality.

And we begin to befriend our inner world.

So meditation is about befriending our inner life.

A friend doesn't come and demand you to calm down and sit still and shame you for getting distracted because a little hair was tickling you.

A friend listens with compassion.

Or when I'm restless,

If the body is restless or the mind is restless,

Can I just meet it with kindness?

Can I just meet it with kindness?

This is how meditation supports us in the journey of self-discovery.

It's not about fixing ourselves.

It's about ending the war with reality.

How do we end the war within?

Well,

Our spiritual poet Rumi from the 13th century gifted us this poem,

The Guest House.

As a true gift to support us in ending this non-stop war with reality.

This war within ourselves.

Constantly fighting ourselves to be more this way or less that way.

He wrote this poem to remind us to just be with what is.

If you'd like to close your eyes or just sit comfortably big exhale the guest house.

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning,

A new arrival.

A joy,

A depression a meanness Some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all even if they are a crowd of sorrows who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture.

Still,

Treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought the shame,

The malice meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

Such wisdom from so many years ago.

13th century our beloved Rumi was grappling with this as well and seeing others grappling with these emotions a joy,

A depression,

A meanness an unexpected visitor.

He's reminding us that whatever shows up may I simply meet it in the moment.

May I befriend this inner world that I live with rather than be my own enemy can I be my own friend?

So this is why we practice my friends this is why we come together as a sangha in community to wake up to transform to slow down because when we slow down we realize that our thoughts are like the soap bubbles that we blow through the little wand they're not facts they're just mental formations that come and go when we slow down we realize that emotions are just visitors that come for tea they're not identities and that's where it's helpful to say sadness is here rather than to say I am sad because the I am is a very powerful acknowledgement so sadness is here upset is here judgment,

Self-criticism whatever these guests are Rumi is reminding us just invite them in for tea they're coming as wisdom from beyond so we suffer less my friends not because life gets easier it's not that life changes and all of a sudden no difficulties come up but the big shift when we truly transform is that we stop adding the resistance to what is already here because what is here is here so let's invite it in for tea my dear dear lovelies what are you hearing for yourself we've shared a lot about the paradoxes of meditation about how do I meet myself in meditation how much do I resist being honest with myself who is my upa guru in my life who is that teacher nearby bringing me lessons to see myself more clearly how strong is the ego when I sit on the cushion for meditation how strongly is that ego coming in interfering,

Telling me I need to be a good meditator I'm doing it all wrong look at everybody else comparing comparing my friends is an act of violence against the self comparing is an act of violence against the self because there's nothing to compare to there's only just you there's only just you in your complete and total uniqueness and also in your oneness one consciousness so we are everything and nothing and can you bring your practice,

Whatever your practice is can you bring it off the cushion and bring it into your life because meditation doesn't end when the bell goes off and then we're done and it doesn't begin when the bell goes on the intention and commitment is to live life in presence in awareness awake,

Conscious open,

Wide open like the sky remember that every moment of daily life is an invitation every breath is a return keep returning to open awareness to the unborn mind to the clear mind how do you want to live your life my friends do you want to live from a clear mind space of open awareness or do you want to live from the conditioned mind attached to all the belief systems to the conditioning that you've had for decades how do you want to live it's up to you,

You have choice in each and every moment we have an invitation can I pause here can I listen to life instead of react can I meet this moment without abandoning myself can I bring the meditation off the cushion and into life when I'm washing the dishes when I'm feeling some grief or sadness when I'm having a difficult conversation can I bring my meditative practice of open awareness meeting the present moment meeting reality just as it is can I do this in my life it's a constant remembering that's why that word is so beautiful mindfulness the word in Pali is sati which means remembering remembering to be present so I invite you to meditate imperfectly do it all wrong if there's a wrong don't try to calm your mind don't try to become someone better just sit just sit sit honestly and listen listen and allow let meditation be the space where you begin to meet yourself in full on honesty just this just this moment remembering that the peace that you're seeking is found in turning towards yourself towards your humanness it's not found out there in a relationship,

In money in food in drugs in controlling others in life to be the way we need it to be peace is not found out there my friends the peace you're seeking the freedom you're seeking the happiness that you're seeking is always and already here there's no there there it's all right here and what makes a big difference is consistency the consistency for the meditative practice matters more than the duration if you're sitting for 5 minutes or 5 hours and the kindness that you bring to yourself befriending your inner life matters more than how concentrated you are how focused,

How strongly you're efforting because we want meditation to be a relationship that we build with ourselves it's not a task,

It's not a thing to do to check off your check off list it's a relationship that we build inwardly and like all meaningful relationships it occurs,

It deepens through presence patience and honesty every meaningful relationship requires presence,

Patience and honesty and before we close up we will do one more guided meditation to just land deeply into the silence letting go of the words so that everything that we've spoken just lands a little bit deeper so let's get comfortable in our body let's close our eyes and return to the breath the breath is the anchor that brings us back into presence if the mind is busy we give it a task to do to keep it occupied so that we can sit in the space of open awareness and the task can be when breathing in the mind can say inhaling I know I am breathing in and on the exhale the mind can say breathing out I know I am here and through the breath we come into the body and into presence allowing gravity to hold us in the space of being bringing gratitude and joy to the fullness of this human experience human being bringing compassion to the human part of ourselves the messy imperfectly perfect and perfectly imperfect human and bringing gratitude to the beingness of our being the essence true nature of our being the unborn mind that which was never born and never dies one consciousness one love noticing the body breathing you no need to control no need to count the breath simply being here now perhaps inviting a half smile to your lips smiling inwardly smiling befriending yourself befriending your mind befriending your inner life and with this loving smile you may acknowledge that the war is over the war within the war of not enoughness of unworthiness the war of believing that I'm doing it all wrong and by bringing a hand on heart and the other hand on top of that hand gently speaking to yourself in loving kindness may I be happy may I be healthy may I be safe and may I live with ease deep breath and offering this loving kindness meditation to all beings may all beings be happy may all beings be healthy may all beings be safe may all beings live with ease Om Shanti Shanti Shanti peace in your mind peace in your heart peace in our world when you're ready you're welcome to open your eyes maybe shake a little bit shaky shaky stretch,

Little stretch see how you feel check in with your mind with your heart,

With your body check in with yourself and let's read our closing poem that I love so much that I read on each of these love streams with you another nugget of wisdom from our beloved Rumi from the 13th century and it's called The Breeze at Dawn the breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you don't go back to sleep you must ask for what you really want don't go back to sleep people are going back and forth across the door sill where the two worlds touch the door is round and open don't go back to sleep so thank you to Rumi for reminding us the breeze at dawn has secrets to tell us let's not go back to sleep my friends let's wake up let's transform let's transform our suffering so that we don't bring more suffering into this world let's transform our minds so that we can transform our lives and we can transform this world just one person at a time starting with,

You guessed it our own selves it's the only thing we have to do in this life just right here just this thank you for holding space for each other for me,

For us to be here together and may we meet again and again and again not only in the words but also in the silence ok my friends I won't keep you any longer so much love to you thank you so much for being here with me and remember,

Don't go back to sleep bye for now

Reviews

Wow, I love this beautiful talk. I so much enjoyed it and will listen again soon. The wisdom shared is powerful.
Befrending our minds 💖
Not going back to sleep
Thank you 🙏