Raft is a series of literary reflections accompanied by guided meditations for relationship loss.
This meditation is inspired by a poem called Revenge by Taha Muhammad Ali.
You can find a corresponding literary reflection on this poem on Insight Timer.
When we feel vengeful,
We are often thrown back to a time in our youth when we felt powerless and we are fighting for our younger selves.
It is healthy to want to protect and defend yourself.
At the same time,
The situation you find yourself in now as an adult is one in which you have more agency,
More wisdom,
And more resources.
It's difficult to realize this when you're in the grips of revenge,
And it may be useful to tend to your young self first.
This exercise is a derivative of the Buddhist practice called metta,
Also known as the loving kindness meditation.
What we are going to do differently is bring our focus to children,
Your own if you have any,
Or yourself as a child,
Then an old childhood friend or classmate,
And finally your former partner as a child too.
Depending on where you are mentally and emotionally right now,
This exercise might be too challenging.
At the same time,
You might be more receptive than you think.
We suggest you try it,
But be gentle with yourself,
And if you begin to feel flooded with emotions,
Stop listening.
Do something soothing.
It's not always the right time to grow.
Sometimes you need to stay put.
If that means to let yourself feel angry,
Vengeful,
Enraged,
It's perfectly alright.
These emotions will pass eventually,
And you can come back to this exercise.
Let's begin.
Gently close your eyes,
And try to think of yourself as a child,
Or imagine your own child.
As images arise in your mind,
Try to isolate a single image.
Maybe it's from a memory,
Or from a photograph,
But try to look carefully at that image of yourself,
Or your child.
Try to bring to mind the fact that that little person who was you,
Is still you.
Or,
If you are imagining your child,
That this small human depends on you,
On your love for them,
On your love for yourself.
And now,
Try to speak directly to that child.
Say this,
May you be happy,
And safe,
And well-nourished.
May you feel a deep inner peace,
And contentment,
Right here,
In this moment.
And now,
Repeat those same words.
May you be happy,
And safe,
And well-nourished.
May you feel a deep inner peace,
And contentment,
Right here,
In this moment.
Take a few moments to connect with yourself as a child,
Or with your own child,
And feel free to repeat those words,
Or some variation of them.
Now,
Try to bring to mind the memory,
Or an image of a childhood friend,
Or a classmate.
Take a few moments to let your memories come in.
Wait for one image to stick.
You don't have to be overly selective here.
Try not to think too hard about this.
When you find that person you knew,
When they come clearly into your mind,
Try to remember their face,
Focus on that.
And now,
Speak their name,
And say to them,
May you find happiness,
And nourishment.
Whatever life has brought your way,
I want you to be happy,
And well,
And at peace.
Pay attention to the thoughts that are arising.
Pay attention to your heart.
If you find your mind racing,
Or if you sense a change in your heartbeat,
Take a few deep breaths,
And remind yourself that you are safe right now,
In this space.
In these next few minutes,
You're safe,
And you're doing an important work.
You're attempting to bring more loving-kindness into your own being,
And into the world.
And now,
When you're ready,
Try to bring to mind your former partner as a child.
Perhaps you can call to mind a photograph from when they were young and innocent.
Or if not,
Then just imagine them on a playground,
Or at a birthday party,
Blowing out candles.
Or imagine them swimming in a lake,
Or in the ocean,
Or building a sandcastle.
Whatever image you have in mind,
Try to stay focused on that image.
And now,
Say this to them.
May you be happy,
And at peace.
May you find goodness and nourishment today,
And every day.
Remind yourself that life has brought many difficulties to the both of you,
And we are never quite as good as we would like to be.
That's true for anyone that has ever lived.
It's true for you,
For me.
It's true for your former partner.
You
