Life Is A Journey, Not A Destination

In this inspired talk, recorded live from my Intro to Meditation course in Denver, I illustrate the mindset needed to adopt meditation as a practice, a journey, rather than a destination. In the 2nd half, I explain how our seated daily practice affords us peace, attention, joy and resiliency in our daily lives. Because life is fleeting and precious! And meditation and mindfulness practices teach us to truly cherish this gift of life.

Please note: This track may include some explicit language. This was recorded live and may contain background noises.

Transcript

I want to talk a little bit today about meditation and how it is not a destination,

But rather a journey.

It is an ongoing practice.

You don't,

And I've said this perhaps before,

But it bears repeating,

You don't get good at meditation,

Check the box,

Say sayonara,

And put it behind you.

It doesn't work that way,

It could work that way,

But it wouldn't work to your benefit.

And I hold an analogy to,

You know,

If you're a basketball player and you're learning how to shoot free throws,

And you practice shooting free throws,

And you can get really good at shooting free throws to the point where your practice sessions might be,

You know,

You swishing 10 out of 10 easy.

But if you stop,

You think,

Oh I'm done with this,

What happens when game time comes?

You start missing.

You start missing more and more and more and more,

Because you stop practicing.

There's no destination for you to get to where you're finished,

You're complete.

And yet that's an attitude that we're entrained with,

And is entrenched in the way that we approach much of what we learn in life,

And how we apply ourselves in life.

We think that we're constantly seeking out and working towards some moment in the future where aha,

I'm finally done,

I can be happy now.

And that same mentality can,

Or absolutely does,

Seep into the way that we approach meditation practice.

Can think that,

Oh if I put in enough practice,

I'll be good enough where I can finally think that I'm good enough,

And then maybe I'll be done,

Maybe I'll be enough,

Maybe it'll be over.

And this type of mentality shoots us in the foot.

It makes it really hard for us to sustain this thing because we're chasing this ever elusive carrot on a stick that is,

I'm good enough,

I finally have become the free throw shooter that I want to,

I finally become the meditator that I want to.

And it's not that it isn't a skill that we get better at with committed practice,

And that we can improve,

But the improving cannot be the goal in of itself because of the aforementioned mindset that we have that thinks when we're finally good enough,

Then we're done.

If that's what we're chasing,

You know,

Meditation will have a very short clock in our life.

Rather,

We have to approach it,

Or it's most sustainable and skillful and joyful to approach it as a practice,

Something that we can find joy in doing,

That though repetitive,

We can recognize as a process and a journey that is fulfilling in of itself.

Rather than chasing this destination of,

Oh I'm really good at this and I'm finally done,

It's how can I enjoy this breath,

This moment,

And this practice today,

One at a time.

And it's really hard for us to do,

Again,

Because our minds are trained to think outside of the present.

They're constantly infatuated with the future or hung up on the past.

And so what I want to inspire you in this conversation is to see how you can let this mindset of practice in the present moment seep into the way that you approach this.

Because sometimes we're going to sit on the mat and we are going to have this really beautiful,

Deep,

Calming meditation practice,

And then we're going to open our eyes and go by our day and be like,

Wow,

That was awesome.

And some days we're going to sit there and it's going to suck.

We're going to be thinking all sorts of nasty,

Annoying,

Repetitive,

Ruminative thoughts and we're going to be like,

Wow,

What a stupid practice that I do.

It's not working.

I'm not good at this.

You know,

The mind then creeps in and that's that destination orientation of thinking.

I have to be good at this or I have to be doing this a certain way or this has to be a certain way.

It's a judgment in order for it to be worth my time.

But if we can really focus very gently but directly on each breath and each moment of practice as enough in of itself,

We can find a way not only to relate to meditation that allows us to enjoy it and keep up with it for a lifetime,

But it also seeps into the way that we relate to anything and everything in our life,

Whether that be our goals that we're pursuing or the connections that we are creating.

And from moment to moment,

We can learn to live more satiably.

Think about the insatiability of,

Oh,

I got to get somewhere else.

This is about learning to live with satiation.

This is about learning to practice with satiation.

And there are some things that we can do to help that process along and Jared has brought to our attention a really great practice.

I'm just noticing the fruits of the labor,

Noticing where awareness then seeps into our daily life,

Noticing those moments in our practice that feel really good and savoring them.

Also like how you were savoring this moment with this on this date of like,

Wow,

Like I'm here now I'm alive and I get to do this really beautiful thing.

The more that we can savor the moment itself,

The practice itself,

The more satiating it is and with greater ease it is to return to it time and time again with less expectation,

With less judgment,

With less pressure,

With less shame.

Furthermore,

Meditation is not just for the mat.

It's not just for those five,

10,

30 minutes,

Whatever,

However much time you spend meditating.

It's not just for that time in your day.

You can take the path of a monastic and go spend 12 hours a day in a cave meditating and you'll be pretty freaking happy that way because you'll put down all the responsibilities and all the extraneous bullshit of life and you'll just calm and master your mind and open your heart and everything will be very simple and lovely.

But we don't live that life.

You know,

We have so many things on our plate and that's a beautiful gift of life and modern living and yet it's very challenging.

And so the meditation practice itself is this really beautiful refuge where we get to sit and pause and put all that down and drop in with ourselves,

Drop in with the present moment.

And when we really cultivate and create that space the same way that we are here and also when you are at home and deciding,

Hey,

This is my meditation time,

You know,

There's structure that really allows for this process to happen.

But it's not just about that.

It's not just about those moments in our day.

It's about bringing the essence of meditation,

Bringing mindfulness into our daily lives as much as humanly possible.

And mindfulness is,

Like meditation,

It's a practice,

It's a skill,

It's also a mindset,

It's also an orientation,

It's an awareness that we cultivate through the constructive practice of meditation.

But really it's just about remembering.

We orient ourselves towards these qualities when we're in a seated practice,

Towards presence,

Towards embodiment,

Towards ease,

Towards non-judgment,

Towards curiosity,

All of these qualities that we conjure up in the way that we're approaching the simple experience of breathing or the simple experience of being in the body or listening to sounds.

And the beautiful thing is that,

Again,

How we do one thing,

We do everything.

So then we have this cultivated set of qualities,

This type of awareness that we get to then bring into our moment-to-moment experience in daily life.

And we may notice that it happens naturally,

Even without consciously paying attention.

We just notice that we are paying attention more,

Perhaps like in your experience.

And that's a really beautiful benefit of just taking the time to sit and meditate and cultivate the possibility to remember to be mindful in daily life.

And there are also things that we can do,

Practices that we can bring into our daily life to help us remember more.

As far as I'm concerned,

It's these moments of mindfulness where we're truly aware,

Where we're truly alive,

Where we're truly aware that we're aware and aware that we're alive.

And we can feel this sense of calm and perhaps gratitude,

Or at least just simplicity.

That's what we meditate for.

We meditate to accumulate as much of that potentiality in our daily lives.

So take a moment right now,

Close your eyes,

Take a deep breath,

Come into your body,

Notice your breath,

Bring a smile to your face,

And just reflect and really,

Wow,

I am alive.

I'm alive.

In this moment in time,

I get to ride on Spaceship Earth in this magical machine of a human body with this incredible imaginative tool of the human mind in this beautiful community of hearts and humans in this precious moment.

Whisper inwardly,

Thank you.

Thank you for these gifts.

Just notice if any emotions or sensations start to come up in your body,

If there is a warmth maybe.

And just savoring that,

Letting the felt experience of this moment wash over you.

And if there's no warmth,

That's okay too.

Just knowing that you're alive,

Knowing that you're aware in this present moment.

Let that be enough.

Opening your eyes.

Another practice we call pause and savor,

And it's a really simple mindfulness tool to bring the essence of our meditation practice into daily life.

And it's the same quality that we attribute to meditation that is slowing down,

It's pausing,

It's taking stock,

It's appreciating and opening ourselves up to what's right in front of us because we move so fast with all these gifts of modern living that I was talking about.

They're awesome,

But it's a lot to juggle.

We have to move really fast.

We think we have to move really fast,

And we always think we're going to this destination and we're missing the whole journey.

We're missing the whole process.

And again,

The journey,

The process is beautiful in of itself.

The destination will be dope.

If you have a destination and you're going to,

That's awesome.

That can be a beautiful driving force,

But life is here.

Life is not at the end of the road.

Life is right now,

In this present moment.

And the more that we can turn towards that,

The more that we get to really appreciate living it.

So let this be the fuel for your meditation practice when it comes to sitting down and intentionally constructively cultivating this type of awareness,

But then also ask yourself,

How can I bring what I'm creating here in these moments into my daily life?

Because that's where you really get to reap the benefits of it.

That's where you get to bring all the calm and the joy and the resiliency and the heart and the groundedness into the way that you live your life.

And there's no limit to that.

You can remember infinitely.

It is possible to be present in every moment.

It's hard.

It's damn near impossible.

It's challenging,

But you can aspire to be alive.

Be aware and be here as much as possible,

And that is,

In my book,

The most beautiful way to live life.

Because life is a gift in and of itself.

Even all these extracurricular things that we think we need and these destinations that we've been programmed to think we've got to get to,

No,

It's all good right here.

And if this is enough,

If that doesn't take away from all those things that we want to create,

That just makes them sprinkles,

Icing on the cake.

The cake is life.

We get to eat the cake.

We get to enjoy the cake.

If we're scarfing it down and not paying attention,

It's gone before you know it.