Welcome to another meditation for change with Paul Kraus.
In this meditation I'm going to be speaking and if you can listen along and or even zone out if you want and you can listen to this many times or just once or not at all it's up to you.
In this meditation we are going to be talking about preparing for change.
So you've identified something that you want to change in your life maybe about the way you interact with others,
Maybe about the habits you have perhaps viewpoints,
Prejudices,
Bias,
Maybe something as simple as the way or how long you sleep,
How long you utilize social media,
How much media you consume in general,
Eating habits,
Whatever it is.
You've decided that something's got to change and you're ready for it.
If you're ready for it,
This meditation is about finding everything that may be getting in your way of beginning the change.
As I've discussed in other meditations,
Change starts slow and usually continues to be slow and the science would back me up on that.
There's all sorts of studies saying it takes somewhere around 90 days to integrate a new habit or a new way of being into the way you live,
Into your nervous system,
Into your psyche if you will,
But yet there's a part of us that's just ready for it.
So if you're ready for change,
The only thing this meditation requires of you is to listen and to have thoughts about it,
Feelings,
Physical sensations may come up.
It doesn't matter if you're sitting down,
Lying down,
Walking,
Standing.
I don't mind.
I just wouldn't recommend driving a vehicle or doing anything else hazardous during this meditation as you may be distracted.
So if you're ready for change,
Let's start with why not change.
What are the reasons that we should not and will not change?
Let's start with the obvious.
Bring up the idea right now of changing this thing about your life,
Whatever it is.
Now bring it into your mind's eye,
Your visualization.
If you have trouble visualizing,
Just your thoughts.
Right now ask yourself,
How will I know if I have changed?
How will others know if I have changed?
What will my life look like if this part of me or part of my life changes?
What will I feel like if this change happens?
Think about that just for the next 30 seconds.
What will things look like?
If you had trouble visualizing or thinking of that,
That may mean there are more barriers than we're going to find in this meditation,
Which may mean that you need more extensive help from the outside,
From others,
Helpers,
Mentors,
Therapists,
Whatever it may be.
Alright,
So going forward,
If you could visualize it,
You could think of it.
Now ask yourself,
How soon could I change this?
And what steps are required?
How soon could I change this?
And what steps are required from me?
And right there,
Right now,
Something might have come up in your mind,
Which is the first,
Second,
Or third even,
Barrier.
What,
Ask yourself,
What,
If anything,
Is getting in my way of taking step one of change?
What is getting in my way?
What am I holding on to?
What am I afraid of?
What am I anticipating?
And continuing to think,
To feel emotions,
To physically feel your body right now,
What signals is your body sending you about this thought of change?
To feel uncomfortable,
To feel like barriers.
We must start with our reasons to not change,
Our mindsets that don't want us to change.
Maybe it's our history,
Maybe it's the image we hold of ourselves,
Maybe it's what others will think of us if we change,
Maybe it's the difficult conversations we may have to have with people in our lives and boundaries we may have to enforce if we do decide to change.
Perhaps you come from a community where,
If you decide to change,
You may be thrown out or ostracized.
These are all careful things that you must consider because change can have a large cost,
A negative cost.
Are you ready to pay the negative cost of change?
Because part of you really wants to change something and you will get a payoff from that,
But nobody gets to the next point of their life and the next thing they are changing without some type of discomfort.
For some people it will actually be painful to make this change happen.
What is it?
What is stopping you?
Like most meditations I do,
I say grab a piece of paper or your phone or whatever and write down right now what is getting in your way.
What are you afraid to give up?
What might be painful about changing?
Is it something about your identity?
Is it something about the way you live?
Does it have to do with how you feel about yourself?
Maybe you feel you don't deserve to change and that you never can change and this is just,
You tell yourself,
The way things are.
The way things are.
The way things are.
You may not have created the entire situation of the way things are,
But unless you're being held hostage or abused or in prison,
There are things you can do to change your life.
There are things you can take responsibility for even if your life is difficult.
Publicly a lot of people don't like to admit that they have difficulties.
People in positive situations,
Meaning they look good on the surface,
They might have wealth or connections or privilege,
And other folks who may have had horrible traumatic lives don't really feel a good sense of accomplishment.
People don't want to talk about these things and so oftentimes we worry about what other people think of us if we were to acknowledge the difficulty in change.
And here's myself telling you,
It's up to you.
You don't have to tell people about your journey although it can help if they are people that respect you or a therapist.
Understand that whatever you decide to do,
You are making a choice to change and change can be what it is.
So ask yourself,
Are you willing to step into the unknown?
Are you willing to give something up?
Are you willing to face criticism and admonishment from those who don't like your change?
And if that is true,
Then right now imagine yourself accepting that when you change,
Many things you may not have considered will also change.
You will grow,
But it will not be comfortable.
Anyone trying to sell you that change is easy with this or that or the other is in fact selling you something.
Change is difficult.
Starting a new exercise routine,
Scientifically I don't need to get into that.
Look it up.
Your body hurts.
Your muscles hurt.
Eventually it starts to feel good.
Having a new diet,
Maybe you've been eating processed foods,
It feels comfortable.
When you start eating unprocessed cleaner foods,
Your body will not feel good for quite a while until it adapts and adjusts.
But the payoffs according to medical science are great.
If you're in a friend group or a family situation where you're constantly being put down or criticized or bullied or pressured into things that you don't want to do or don't want to believe and you decide to put boundaries or distance up with these friends or family and try to find more than like-minded people to spend time with,
You will face obstacles.
You may face ridicule.
You may face estrangement.
These are serious things,
But you might also be able to preserve part of yourself and change what you need to change.
Change is not easy and should not be taken lightly.
For those that decide to take responsibility for the situation they're in,
Even if they ended up here from trauma,
Even if they ended up here from unfairness,
Even if they ended up in not a good birth lottery,
Perhaps your parents are dead or non-helpful or not around.
Perhaps you didn't have the opportunities that other people had.
Whatever the case,
If you take responsibility for your change,
Something will happen slowly but surely.
And those of you that were born into a positive situation that are just facing difficult circumstances wherever you are and whatever you're doing,
You also will face difficult emotional,
Physical difficulties,
Pains when you change.
There is a part of the human body that wants homeostasis.
It wants calm.
It wants something familiar.
Some people homeostasis involves chaos.
That's what they're used to.
That's what they grew up in.
For other people it involves not speaking about emotions.
It's very complicated.
That's why therapy exists and why self-help books are out there.
It's not what this meditation is about completely,
But it does ring true.
So remember,
If you change it is brave to change.
And if you change,
Make sure that you are ready to accept both the positive and the negative outcomes of your actions.
And honestly,
You might want to start with something small because if you have just been living your life on autopilot and you have been listening to the culture and you have been listening to whatever message got to you through advertising or through some type of belief system that you were inheriting,
Change is rough.
Start with a smaller dose.
You don't have to change everything at once to change.
You can change things slowly and surely as you get your bearings and get used to the pain,
Get used to the discomfort of change.
And when you've changed,
You might find eventually that you have to change more and there's more things you want to change.
And that is life.
That is you evolving.
That is you adapting.
And I have worked in my life on changing and then I didn't want to change.
And then I changed more because sometimes our body,
Our mind,
Our relationships,
Our jobs,
They inform us that we have to change.
There are signals but we often don't pay attention.
We're fixated on other matters.
So wherever you're at and whatever you're doing,
If you are doing this guided meditation for change,
Know that you can take this action and you can take responsibility for the change.
And if you do those things,
There is a higher percentage likelihood that you will be successful in your goal.
If you have difficulties with your goals,
If you have difficulties changing,
If addictions are holding you back,
You need to seek professional help.
A meditation is not a substitute for that.
Now,
For the next 30 seconds,
I want you to tell yourself out loud or in your mind,
Say your own name.
Name.
We are going to try to change this.
Or,
Name.
We are going to change this and we're starting now.
Thank you for listening to this meditation for change.
May you be well.
