Forgiveness- Class And Ho Oponopono Exercise

The beginning of this track is a talk about Forgiveness. I go into some definitions and talk about the three types of forgiveness and how they can show up in our lives. Then I teach an exercise based on Ho oponopono and take you through the exercise. Based on forgiveness and letting go.

Transcript

All right,

So we'll go ahead and get started.

Thank you all for showing up tonight.

I really appreciate you coming out for this talk about forgiveness.

And like I said,

It'll be a talk and we'll do a fun exercise at the end based on Ho'oponopono.

For those of you that don't know me,

And I think most of you do,

My name is Jason Jurado and my company is One Path Coaching.

And with my company,

I help people to discover and live their purpose.

I'm trained in neuro-linguistics,

Hypnosis,

Timeline therapy,

Polyvagal theory,

A little bit of training in HUNA,

Which Ho'oponopono comes from,

And several other modalities that really helps me help people along their paths.

I do one-on-one sessions with clients and I also do classes like this,

I do a walking meditation class,

Which I have one on August 6th coming up here in downtown Winters.

And I also work with mindfulness and meditation as well.

Part of how I help people get the clarity on what they're looking for is really letting them have an awareness of where they're at currently,

And then discover what their goals are and how they're going to get there.

And once they get that,

The process is really clearing out anything in their lives that may be holding them back,

Such as negative emotions,

Limiting beliefs from the past.

And one of the best ways to let go of anything negative from our past is through forgiveness.

Forgiveness of ourselves and forgiveness of others.

A quote that I came across that I really love is,

Forgive not because they deserve forgiveness,

But because you deserve peace.

And we're going to go in depth with a little bit on that later as we go into this class right now.

I do want to give a couple definitions.

Forgiveness is different for different people,

And I do want to give some of the textbook definitions of what forgiveness is and talk about that.

So from a basic psychology standpoint,

Forgiveness is defined as a conscious,

Deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance towards a person or group who has harmed you.

As we look at it from another definition is willfully putting aside feelings of resentment towards an individual who has committed a wrong,

Been unfair or hurtful,

Or otherwise harmed one in some way.

Forgiveness is not equated with reconciliation or excusing another.

That's a very important point we're really going to talk about tonight.

It's very important.

The Bible actually says the definition is an act of pardoning an offender.

In the Bible,

The Greek word translated forgiveness literally means to let go.

And that's something that we talk about a lot is,

You know,

Letting go.

And in Buddhist psychology,

Forgiveness is understood as a way to end suffering,

To bring dignity and harmony to our life.

Forgiveness is fundamentally for our own sake,

For our own mental health,

Is a way to let go of the pain that we carry.

The Buddha said only forgiveness will make our soul peaceful.

So we'll be discussing forgiveness in the sense of your positive mental health,

And maybe even in a more of a spiritual sense as well.

There's three ways of looking at forgiveness.

And the first two may be the way that you think of forgiveness now.

And the third is what we'll be working with tonight.

The three types of forgiveness are exoneration,

Forbearance,

And release.

So I'll define those a little bit because they are a little wordy.

Exoneration is close to what we usually think of when we say forgiveness.

Exoneration is wiping the slate entirely clean and restoring a relationship to the full state of innocence it had before the harmful actions took place.

So almost as if it never happened.

That's exoneration.

The second type of forgiveness is called forbearance.

And forbearance applies when the offender makes a partial apology or mingles their expression of sorrow with blame that you somehow caused them to behave badly.

An apology is offered,

But it's not what you had hoped for,

And it may not even be authentic.

Seize dwelling on a particular offense,

Do away with grudges and fantasy of revenge,

But retain a degree of watchfulness.

This is similar to the forgive but not forget.

You're able to maintain ties to people who,

Far from perfect,

Are still important to you.

I think the challenge with that version is that,

You know,

Once again going back to Huna,

The saying is that to forgive but not forget is not forgiveness.

You know,

Holding on to that,

Oh,

Well,

I forgive you,

But I'm going to bring it up next time we have an argument.

Or I forgive you,

But I don't truly believe that you should be forgiven.

So that's the one that gets a little sticky,

The forbearance.

And then the third type is release.

And that's the basis for the exercise we're going to do today.

So you release your bad feelings and your preoccupation with negative things that have happened to you.

And releasing does something that is critically important.

It allows you to let go of the burden.

They call it the silent tax that is weighing you down and giving you your chance for happiness.

If you don't release the pain and anger and move past it,

And you dwell on old hurts and betrayals,

You have to think of it kind of the jokingly way they say is that you're allowing the one that hurts you to live rent-free in your mind,

And you're reliving forever the persecution that the original incident started.

So you're carrying that burden with you,

And that's what this exercise is talking about is letting go of that burden inside of yourself.

It's not so much about that other person,

And it's definitely not about saying what the other person did is okay or appropriate.

That's not what true forgiveness is about.

It's about forgiving that part of them that's inside of you,

The part of our unconscious mind where they live.

The process we're going to do today is based on hoʻoponopono,

Which is a Hawaiian practice which roughly translates to to cause things to move back in balance,

Or also another definition is to make things right.

I'm going to read you a definition of that one just to get a little more specific.

Hoʻoponopono is a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness that involves expressing remorse,

Asking for forgiveness,

Expressing gratitude,

And expressing love in order to heal and transform relationships.

It aims to bring about healing,

Understanding,

And connection within oneself and with others.

Something that's very important just as an aside,

You know,

Talking about the connection,

We have three connections,

The main connections in our lives,

That's connection to self,

Connection to others,

And connection to something that's higher,

That's above us,

Beyond us.

So whether you call that God,

Or spirit,

Or source,

Or nature,

Or creator,

As the Native Americans call it,

Creator,

That connection to that higher power,

And forgiveness can help you with all three of those,

So that's very important.

The traditional mantra or prayer for hoʻoponopono is as follows,

I am sorry,

Please forgive me,

I thank you,

I love you.

Now we're not going to say those during the process tonight,

But feel free to keep those in mind.

The process we're going to do,

It does include all four elements,

And as we go through the process,

You know,

Allowing yourself the freedom to just participate fully and not looking for anything particular,

Just doing the process,

You don't need to look for them.

But afterwards,

When we get complete,

If you look back at the process,

You can see how they are incorporated into that process.

It's a little more of an active thing than just saying those four mantras,

Or the four sayings of the prayer.

And remember,

Forgiveness is not saying what the other person or people did is okay or acceptable,

And this is a process to allow you to let that part of them that was in you to be forgiven,

So you can release that burden.

And that's the most important thing,

And that's where it all starts,

Is inside.

One of the things I want to mention about this process is it deals with something that's very specific to,

It has to do with energy,

And it has to do with huna,

Talking about mana,

Which is a different type of energy that we have,

But it's something that within the practice we're going to do,

So I need to explain it a little deeper before we get to it.

And the term is called akha,

And akha roughly translates to sticky stuff.

It's a cord.

It's the connection that we make with others.

So every time you interact with somebody,

Whether it's a phone call,

A video like this,

Or being around people live,

And people that you're intimate with,

We have these akha cords that connect us,

Between us.

That's the belief,

Is that that's something that goes between us.

As you connect with people more and more,

The theory is that there's more threads built around that energy cord.

So somebody that you've just met one time or talked to on the phone one time,

You still have that akha connection with them,

But someone that you've been around for a long time,

You build that connection,

It builds up.

As an example,

If you ever think about,

If you've ever gone to a hospital,

And you go to visit somebody,

And you know,

Hospitals,

People aren't in the greatest place when they're there,

You know,

And there's a lot of things going on,

And that energy is a little different in a hospital.

If you ever left,

And you leave the hospital,

And you feel kind of,

To lack of a better term,

You feel kind of icky,

You know,

There's just something like,

Oh,

Like,

I just want to get off of me,

You know,

You feel that,

That's the energy that you took from that.

One of the one things that we want to do,

For a couple different reasons,

When you leave a hospital,

Usually you want to go home and take a shower,

Most of us,

And that's for,

You know,

The cleanliness of it,

Obviously,

For the germs and things of that nature that you feel,

But it's actually a great way to get rid of that energy.

So if you ever find yourself in a bad mood,

And you just kind of were surrounded by some negative energy,

Take a nice shower,

And that energy of the water can help wash that away in more ways than one,

Right?

As we go through this process,

We are actually going to cut the ACA connection with everyone that we know,

If you want to.

As I explained the process,

If you choose not to cut that connection with somebody,

That's perfectly fine,

That's up to you.

The recommendation is that you cut these connections,

Because then once you cut the connections,

Then you can make a new connection.

The question comes up a lot of times about,

Well,

What if someone's passed away?

And I love them.

Well,

The belief in HUNA is that unless there's been an agreement made before they passed for them to stay on as a guide for you,

It's best to cut that connection and let them pass on to the next place where they're going.

You still have them in your heart,

You still have them in their mind,

So that's fine to hold on to them.

And like I said,

That's the belief in HUNA,

You have your own belief,

And if you don't feel comfortable cutting it with them,

That's okay as well.

Just something to consider and think about.

We build these connections,

We build them over time with people,

But there's also that connection from when we first meet that person.

So if you think about it,

When my mom passed away,

She was 71,

I was 41 at the time,

But I was still little Jason.

Her connection to me was still as that little boy,

So she always remembered me as such,

Because that was the Aka connection that we had,

The energy that we had together.

Now,

If you've ever had an example of like,

You say you knew your family and you're living your life and maybe you went off to college and you graduated college and you were excited and you came back and you had this new degree and you were a different person,

You were changed and you went back to your hometown and all your high school buddies still saw you as the person that left four years ago or eight years ago.

Same way with now,

You know,

You go and you have a spiritual experience or you go and take a class and you're just excited,

You come back and you've changed,

And yet everyone sees you the way you are,

As you used to be.

That's because of that old connection.

So by cutting these Aka connections and then reconnecting,

You reconnect how they are now and who you are now.

And this takes place after you give and receive forgiveness.

So the process that we're going to go through,

The Ho'oponopono,

I'm going to walk us through it.

We're not going to do it right now.

I'm going to walk us through and kind of give you an example of it,

And then we're going to do the process together.

So the first thing I'm going to have you do is,

It's a closed eye process.

You can close your eyes or have a soft focus.

Not now,

But when we do the process.

And what you'll do is you'll construct a stage in front of you.

And that stage is going to be in front of you and at a 45 degree below you.

On this stage,

We are going to welcome everyone that's ever been in your life onto that stage.

And that's the process we're going to do with forgiveness.

So you're going to have them,

You're going to build a stage in your mind.

It's going to be in front of you,

Below you at about a 45 degree angle in front of you.

And what you're going to do is you're going to imagine an infinite source of love and healing coming from above into your head and filling you up.

It's going to fill you up.

You're going to heal.

And then once you're healed and you're filled up with an infinite source of love and healing,

You're going to let that come out of your heart and flow from your heart to the people on stage and fill them up with an infinite source of love and healing and let them heal as well.

Then what we're going to do is then we're going to,

Then we go to the forgiveness part.

And you're going to forgive them and you're going to ask them to forgive you.

And I'll walk you through all this.

This is a,

It's a step-by-step process.

So I just want to give you an advanced kind of a,

So you have an awareness of what we're going to do.

Then what we're going to do is we're going to cut the connections.

We're going to cut those Aka connections with everybody on that stage,

If you so choose.

And we're going to cut that.

And I'll explain how we do that.

And you're going to let that fall away.

Once everyone's healed and once that connection is cut,

Then we're going to have everyone leave the stage and we're going to,

And we're going to close down.

Okay.

So like I said,

If you want to go ahead and just settle in and get relaxed and you can close your eyes or maybe have a soft focus,

Just relax,

Feel yourself where you're at,

Being present.

Remember,

Ho'oponopono is about making things right and we're going to have that forgiveness.

So the first thing I want you to do is go ahead and construct a stage in front of you,

In your mind,

And have that stage be below you and in front of you.

And make it big because we're going to invite a lot of people up on the stage.

And now go ahead,

Connect to that source of infinite love and healing.

And that could be a bright white light or a colored light,

Whatever that looks like for you.

Just connect to that infinite source of love and healing and allow it to flow into your head and fill you up and heal you inside.

Now we're going to start inviting people up onto the stage and we're going to start with your parents,

Your mom and your dad,

Anyone who acted like your parents,

Whether that's grandparents,

Aunts or uncles,

If they acted like your parents,

Just invite them up on stage,

Have them come on up.

And as people come up onto the stage,

Go ahead and have that infinite source of love and healing flow through you and out of your heart and into the people on stage,

Killing them.

Now we're going to invite up brothers and sisters.

Anyone who acted like a brother and sister,

Whether it was cousins,

Good friends,

Anyone that you considered a brother or a sister,

Invite them up on stage.

Now your grandparents,

Both sides of the family,

Even if you didn't know them,

Whether they're alive or passed on,

Have those grandparents come up on stage and join everyone up there.

Keeping that infinite source of love and healing flowing into you and through you to those on stage and those entering the stage and start healing them.

Next you're going to have relatives come up,

Aunts and uncles,

Cousins,

Maybe relatives that you've just heard of,

All your relatives,

Have them join on the stage.

Now friends,

Friends when growing up,

Recent friends,

Friends you've lost track of,

Close acquaintances that you would consider a friend,

Have them come up on stage.

And now boyfriends and girlfriends,

Ex-boyfriends,

Ex-girlfriends,

Husbands,

Wives,

People you've dated,

People you were intimate with,

Anyone you had a close personal relationship with that was like a boyfriend or girlfriend,

Invite them all up on stage,

All of them,

Have them come on up,

Join.

And children,

If you have children,

Allow them to see you as you are,

As you grow and as they grow,

Invite them up on stage as well,

Have them come on up.

And keep that infinite source of love and healing flowing through you and into the people on stage,

Healing them fully and completely.

And now business acquaintances,

Clients,

People you work with or have worked with,

Teachers,

Whether it's business or not,

Co-workers past or present,

Employees,

Anyone in the business world that you've had acquaintance with,

Have them come up on stage.

And now pets,

Living or that have passed on,

Invite them up on stage too,

They're part of our family,

They're part of our world,

We definitely are connected to them,

So invite them up on stage,

Keeping that flow of the infinite love and healing.

You want to thank everyone for coming,

Thank them for showing up.

Now anyone else that you have not thought of yet,

Just ask your unconscious mind if there's anyone else that should come on stage,

People who are no longer in your life,

Anyone who's passed on,

Anyone that's connected,

Have them come up on stage as well.

Now forgiveness,

So now you're going to ask for forgiveness and give forgiveness to everyone on stage,

And you can say,

I forgive you,

Please forgive me too,

Or you can say,

Please forgive me,

I forgive you too.

Remember we're not saying what they did was right or correct or appropriate,

You're forgiving that part of them that's inside of you,

Forgiving yourself,

Forgiving them inside of you,

Just let it go,

Release.

As everyone is on stage,

Thank them for being in your life and helping you along your path,

Because everyone has had a purpose or a lesson to teach us,

Whatever that looked like,

There was a lesson to learn,

So thank them for being there and teaching you what they had to teach you,

For you being able to learn what you had to learn.

Now imagine and visualize a cord coming from your body and going out to the people on stage that symbolizes your current connection to them,

The Aka we talked about,

And it could look like a rope or string or thread,

Whatever it looks like to you,

Imagine that connection.

And now imagine a blade of white light coming from the source of infinite love and healing energy,

And let that blade float down in front of you and allow it to gently,

Lovingly,

And completely cut that connection cord between you and the individuals on stage,

Feeling it cut away and fall to the floor,

Cutting that connection to everyone on stage,

Unless there's someone you don't want to,

And that's okay,

You can allow that to stay,

And as the connections are cut,

You can allow that blade to disappear beneath your feet,

Making sure that everyone on stage is healed and complete,

And all the connections you want to cut are cut,

And once they're healed and complete,

The connections are cut,

And those you're going to cut,

Just let everyone disappear off the stage,

And then when everyone is gone,

Just let that stage disappear,

Just let it go,

Release.

Now we're going to take four full breaths,

In a second I'll tell you when we're going to do it together,

We're going to take four full breaths,

We're going to go in through the nose and out through the mouth,

And we're going to energize this new way of being by doing that,

I'm going to give an example of one and then we'll do it together,

So in through the nose,

Out through the mouth,

We're going to say,

So we'll do that together,

We're going to do four full breaths,

In through the nose,

Out through the mouth,

And we'll start,

And go ahead and come back in the room,

Open your eyes,

Come back into the room,

I hope you're all feeling well,

We're able to release what you need to release,

This is something I do with clients,

I usually do this with clients later on,

So I'm really happy we're able to spend this time together tonight and do that,

As I said my name is Jason Jurado with One Path Coaching,

My email is all spelled out words,

Onepathcoaching at gmail.

Com,

My website is onepathcoaching.

Com,

And I'm on social media,

You can reach out to me,

Like I said I do one-on-one client work and also mindfulness and meditation work,

And as I said before,

The traditional prayer I'm going to end up with tonight for Ho'oponopono is,

I am sorry,

Please forgive me,

I thank you,

I love you,

And I want to say sincerely from the bottom of my heart,

I thank you,

Thank you all for being here tonight,

Sharing this time together,

Have a wonderful evening,

Thank you,

Good night.