Accepting & Allowing Pain In Your Life

In this talk and meditation we explore how acceptance and genuine allowing (even if it seems tricky at first) is an essential step in your path of living with pain in a more peaceful and meaningful way.

Transcript

As human beings we unconsciously get quite habituated with certain patterns within us,

Especially in terms of our reaction to pain.

Instinctively when we're in pain we seem to want to separate from it.

We just want to get rid of it and do anything to make it go away.

A me and them situation arises.

It's a very natural response to pain but also disharmonious and not very helpful actually.

Having this approach of wanting to get rid of something creates in a conflict and tension between you and the pain.

This internal conflict is in contrast with the unified true nature of life and is not conducive to deep healing.

But once we can cultivate a sense of acceptance and allowing,

A sense of unity and of letting go,

Change starts to happen.

For me in the first while of living in constant pain all I wanted to do was escape my body.

I remember I'd get into panic attacks not knowing what to do and every day I'd end up in tears feeling desperate and broken.

I began reading a book,

I can't remember the name of it now,

About a man who lived in pain.

In the book the author was saying that to start to find strength in a life of pain you need to accept the pain.

Well it's funny to say now but actually I didn't even finish the book because I found myself having such a resistance to this concept of accepting my pain.

I guess it bore out of a sense of fear,

Scared that if I accept the pain in my life it will get worse or never go away.

So I carried on as I was taking a lot of pain medication,

Crying every day and dreaming of how good it would be to escape my body.

After a while I came to realize that accepting the pain as part of my life was an essential stepping stone on my path of inner healing and recovery.

When I say accepting I don't mean giving up because that's not all that helpful.

It's more of a sense of surrendering the fight and allowing the sensations space to be there in your body.

This starts to break those habitual patterns of reaction and you can begin to enjoy a greater sense of calm and harmony within despite the pain.

In the meditation let's see how this feels for you.

I'll guide you through it and I'll be there to support you the whole way.

So as we begin the meditation find yourself a comfortable place to be.

Somewhere your body feels awake and alert but still feeling relaxed and natural.

There's no need to hold yourself rigid or tight.

During the meditation I'll give you some guidance and then I'll leave some spaces of silence for you to be in your own space and notice how it is for you.

Allow yourself a few moments to arrive.

Arriving in the room that you're in right now,

Leaving everything else out of the door until later.

Really arriving in your body and in the present moment.

As you begin to settle start to notice the feelings and sensations of the breath within your body.

Notice the air coming in and out of your nostrils and throat.

Notice the feelings and sensations of your lungs,

Ribs and abdomen,

Rising and falling with each in-breath and each out-breath.

Gradually allowing yourself to rest and settle.

And you don't need to try and hold your attention on the breath.

It's more about being inquisitive of the feelings and sensations within your body as you breathe,

With a sense of curiosity and allowing.

If at any point you become distracted there's no need to judge yourself,

There's no need to try and stop it and also there's no need to get entangled with it.

Just allow thoughts of the distraction to be as they are.

Let them go and gently bring your awareness back to notice the feelings and sensations in your body as you breathe.

As much as you can hold your space with a sense of compassion and open-heartedness.

Allowing whatever is there to be there as it is.

Shift your awareness slightly to your out-breath as a resting and settling breath.

If you want to you can lengthen your out-breath out a little,

Not too much,

Just what's comfortable for you.

And follow the whole length of your out-breath,

Feeling your body relax as you do that.

Letting your body relax deeper and deeper with each out-breath.

Moving your awareness down to the ground of your being.

Notice the feelings and sensations of the ground or cushion or chair pushing up from below you.

Notice how it really supports you as you relax.

Noticing the weight of your legs or your body on that ground.

And with each out-breath see if you can let your whole body deeply relax down into that sense of ground.

Trusting it and letting go.

Again when you're distracted you'll probably notice a sense of holding or contraction in your body.

Gently allow that tension to soften and relax and then allow your awareness to rest back into feelings and sensations within your body.

And let your whole body relax deeply back down into the safety of the ground.

Gently bring your awareness to the area of your heart center and notice what you feel there.

Allowing whatever is there space to be as it is as you relax and breathe.

As you rest there,

A small radiant sphere of light appears in your heart center or chakra.

You can choose what color it is,

Whatever color feels comforting and safe for you.

And this sphere of light has potent feelings of love,

Acceptance and safety to it.

And it's warm like the Sun.

And this light radiates out filling your body with feelings of safety,

Love and acceptance.

And instead of just visualizing it,

See if you can feel these feelings in your body.

As you relax there filled with this warm and safe light,

See if you can allow whatever is there rising within your body space to be there.

See if you can allow thoughts to just arise,

Move through.

And dissolve away as they do.

There's no need to get entangled with them or try and stop them.

If any emotions arise,

See if you can give it space to be there and allow it to move through.

We're not stopping it or disassociating from it.

We're just allowing it to be there and pass when it's ready.

And you're making space kind of like if you were in a hall full of people and a new person wants to come in.

Instead of fighting,

Trying to keep the door shut and keep them out,

Getting all entangled with that conflict,

You could just step back,

Make a little space,

Let them come in and let them leave when they're ready.

And if you have any sensations of pain now,

See if you can allow your heart to be open.

Relax your body with the out-breath and give space for that sensation to be there,

To move through if it needs to.

And try to let go of any stories that surrounds it,

Letting go of any fears that may arise.

Resting in the safety of your body,

In the warmth of the light,

Allowing everything to just be as it is.

If you notice any tension in your body,

Allow that to soften and relax.

Relaxing down towards the ground,

Supported by your out-breath.

Now allow the light to evaporate and dissolve away,

Leaving the small sphere of radiant warm light in your heart center as a connection to that feeling of acceptance and safety.

And just rest with that for a little while.

As we bring this meditation to a close and before you open your eyes,

It's good to have a really deep stretch to allow the energy of the meditation to be released through your body.

As you go out into your normal daily life,

Take some time to see if you can notice yourself fighting with the pain when it arises.

Notice whether you can feel yourself contracting your body,

Trying to stop the pain,

Resist it,

Or even trying to ignore it.

Reflect on how much you think you're allowing space for those sensations,

How much you're accepting them there as part of your experience.

Gradually,

As the inner conflict eases and your whole system relaxes,

You can cultivate a greater sense of allowing,

And you will begin to develop a strength in being able to just be with whatever is happening within,

Pain included.

Less tension,

Less suffering,

More space for peace,

Joy,

And love in your life.

If you're someone who lives with pain and you found this talk and meditation helpful,

You can have a look at my course,

Finding Peace While Living in Pain,

Where I guide you gradually through the journey that has really helped me to live peacefully amongst my pain.

Hopefully it can give you a new perspective and understanding,

And somehow make a difference for you too.

Reviews

Olivia, as I have said before your pain course was the beginning of an amazing new journey that fundamentally changed how I relate and respond to my pain. Still, as you know there are times or even whole days that bring challenges. At those times this track always helps me get grounded and recentered. Many thanks as always for your guidance and inspiration.

Wonderful support! Thank you so much for sharing this approach to being with pain. It is such a revelation after fighting the pain and myself for so long. I find that even if I don’t feel an immediate shift in my experience, the meditation reverberates through my day and often the softening starts later and then really lasts. 🙏

Thank you 🙏 I’ve been seeing PTs and chiropractors consistently for 15 years for my necks and back pain and this was helpful 💕