I know what it's like to live in pain and how much it can affect your life.
Over the past years,
Since being in constant pain,
I developed insights and perspectives through my meditation practice that has really helped me to live in peace and calm amongst my pain.
And this is what I'd like to share with you in the hope that it can provide you with some comfort.
Chronic pain in our life can be really debilitating and can actually color our perspective on life.
Developing a good relationship to our pain is important because a lot of the time,
Whether we like it or not,
It is there with us.
Pain can be the source of so much wisdom if we know how to live with it.
To cope with it in our life,
We must learn to relate to it in a meaningful and healthy way.
I came to realize that genuinely accepting the pain into my body and into my life was a vital step to developing a good relationship with my pain.
It helped to calm the constant inner struggle.
But when I first thought of truly accepting the pain,
I felt really resistant.
I felt like if I accepted the pain into my life,
It would never go away and get worse.
But actually,
It didn't.
We can unconsciously get quite habituated with certain patterns within us in terms of our reaction to pain.
If we can allow ourselves to accept the pain into our life,
It can start to break those patterns and new patterns of a better way to be with the pain can develop,
Encouraging less conflict and in turn,
Less suffering.
After a long time of sitting with my pain in meditation,
I came to realize that pain and suffering is not the same thing and is actually two parts to pain.
There is the sensation of it and then there's our reaction to that sensation.
Sometimes we can't do anything about the sensation but we can do something about how we habitually react to it.
Our reaction to pain is what leads to suffering but this is also the part that we have the ability to change.
Instinctively as human beings,
When we're in pain,
We seem to want to separate from it and we just want to get rid of it.
I know how this feels.
I had this feeling for many years but this internal conflict causes us to lose a deep connection to being present in and feeling safe in our body.
For some of us,
We may need time to start to untangle ourselves from the lifelong habitual patterns and begin to trust our body as a place of safety and comfort.
The good news is that we can all develop a sense of connection again to our body and start to really trust it again as a place of support.
This can be the start of a really deep and meaningful journey of healing.
What I did notice through many years of living in pain is that if my body was really relaxed,
My pain would be slightly less.
There is an intimate connection between relaxation and suffering.
If you are able to relax your body or mental emotional suffering,
It's like it relaxes suffering felt from your pain.
So relaxation is critical.
Relaxation allows a balancing of our parasympathetic and sympathetic systems which is essential for our overall physiological harmony.
When we live with pain,
Sometimes we just need to find the courage and confidence in being able to be present with whatever is happening within us,
Giving it space and allowing it to move through.
This gradually untangles us from the struggle.
We can continuously become aware of the instinctive holding or contraction that we have within us around our pain.
If we can allow this holding or contraction to let go,
Giving our inner processes space to move,
It gradually helps us to be present in our body and begins to untangle us from the suffering from our pain.
Developing a good relationship to your pain is important because a lot of the time,
Whether we like it or not,
It is there with us and it can really take away our joy in life.
You can gradually develop a healthier relationship with your pain,
Accepting it as part of our life and allowing it to be there so that the stress of it doesn't build up and overwhelm you.
This isn't always easy to begin with but if you can stay with it,
Holding your space with a sense of compassion and open-heartedness,
You can gradually start to feel a steadiness with the practice.
Over time you may feel that you can feel present and grounded even though the pain is there in your body.
So before we begin the meditation,
Find yourself somewhere comfortable to sit.
It could be on a meditation cushion or a chair.
As long as you're comfortable and your body can relax.
It's good to sit with your back tall but don't be too rigid.
Allow a sense of movement and softness into your body.
When you're comfortable,
Bring your awareness in to notice your breath.
Notice the feelings and sensations of your breath within your body.
Your lungs,
Ribs and abdomen rising and falling with each in-breath and each out-breath.
If you become distracted at any point,
There's no need to stop the thoughts and there's no need to create stories around them and there's no need to judge yourself.
Just notice that you're distracted and then gently bring your awareness back to your breath and back into feelings and sensations within your body as you breathe.
Now make a subtle shift by becoming aware of your out-breath.
And really follow each out-breath down and allow yourself to relax into your body.
Deeper and deeper with each out-breath.
Now move your awareness slightly to become aware of the ground of your being.
Notice the feeling of the weight of your legs.
Notice the feelings and sensations of the ground or the cushion or the chair pushing up from below you.
The feeling of it really supporting you as you relax.
And see if you can really allow yourself to trust that sense of ground and allow your whole body to let go and deeply relax into it.
As you rest into your ground,
Move your awareness slightly to become aware of feelings and sensations within your trunk.
Notice what you feel there.
And whatever you notice,
Allow it to be there.
And allow it to be as it needs to be as you relax and breathe.
Now feel your awareness expand out to the rest of your body,
Out to your arms,
Up to your neck,
Your head,
And back down into your legs.
Until you become aware of your whole body from the inside out.
You could have a sense that your whole body is breathing.
Like your skin is permeable.
And you could let that breathing process soften the subtle sense of holding to your sense of form.
Now allow yourself to open to a more spacious sense of awareness.
This happens naturally by continuously,
Gently,
Letting go,
Relaxing,
And letting your awareness open to a sense of spaciousness.
You may get a sense of the aliveness within your body,
Your life vitality,
Like a vibrancy within.
And you may get a sense that this vitality has different tones,
Feelings,
And nuances to it.
Until now we've had an awareness of something,
An awareness of your breath,
An awareness of your body.
And now we're beginning to open to a sense of really being spacious awareness itself.
Allow everything to be as it is.
And hold it with a sense of love,
Quiet,
Present awareness.
If you notice yourself trying too hard,
You'll probably notice a sense of holding or contraction within your body.
So again,
Gently let that relax.
Bring your awareness back to your breath.
Allow yourself to relax into your body.
And allow yourself to open to spacious awareness again.
If you feel pain in your body,
Try not to judge it.
Hold it with a sense of compassion.
See if you can let it be there,
And feel it for what it is.
Give it space to move,
And notice what you feel.
If you notice any feelings or emotions within your body,
See if you can let go of the story connected to them.
Notice the sensation of it.
Give it space to move where it needs to move.
And notice what you feel.
See if you can allow yourself to feel grounded and present with whatever is happening within your body and mind.
Holding it with a sense of compassion and love.
Enjoying the safety and comfort of your body with a sense of quiet,
Present awareness.
If you feel yourself being pulled out at any point,
Just notice it.
Let the story of it go,
And feel yourself rest back down into your ground again.
And open your awareness to be present with all that is happening in your body and mind.
As we bring this meditation to a close,
See if you can bring a feeling of love and fulfillment to your heart for the meditation that you've just done.
And allow that feeling to expand and fill your whole body with feelings of love,
Joy,
And peace.
And fulfillment.
I hope that this talk and meditation helped you to connect to that sense of letting go within.
Living with pain can be really hard and sometimes we can't do anything about the pain itself,
Unfortunately.
But we can do something about our reaction to it and how we live with it.
Developing this type of meditation and feeling of letting go can become a real resource for you,
As it has for me.
This talk and meditation is a very compact version of my course on Insightama called Finding Peace While Living in Pain.
In this course,
I take you step by step much more deeply through the path that I walked and still walk to develop a healthy relationship with my pain and to ease the amount that I suffer from it.
So if you'd like to delve more into it and get support for your life with pain,
You're welcome to have a look at the course.
Thank you.
