A meditation for self-preservation.
It was once said by essayist,
Poet,
And activist Audre Lorde that,
Caring for myself or oneself is not self-indulgence,
It is,
In fact,
Self-preservation,
And that in itself is an act of political warfare.
When did we learn that skipping a meal at work was a badge of productive honor?
And when did we learn that holding in nature's call all day long in order to complete a task or project is something worthy of praise?
Why do we deny the natural functions of our bodies for others so that they may benefit?
Sometimes we view the fight for others as more valid than the fight for ourselves.
This practice is meant to call you back to yourself,
To care for your basic needs and to fight for those needs.
In the healing journey,
Just as Audre Lorde said,
At times this process of self-care can feel like political warfare.
It has become a part of our culture to view caring for ourselves as indulgent and selfish,
Even vain.
Especially if you have been socialized as a woman,
We have learned to put the needs of others ahead of our own to our own detriment,
Denying our own valid birthright to be cared for and to thrive.
Let's spend some time in meditation,
Reframing and reorienting the notion of self-care as self-preservation,
Contribution to our own fundamental basic human needs.
The process of untangling our maladaptive behaviors regarding our own self-care,
Our ability to nurture ourselves and preserve life,
Begins with honoring our intrinsic value,
Honoring our right to exist as much as anyone else.
We must first begin to understand that we deserve to live.
We deserve to eat.
We deserve to sleep.
We deserve all that our bodies need to not only survive,
But to thrive.
The care for our very own individual health first begins with the belief that we also deserve to be well and cared for just as we extend care and nurturing to anyone else.
Our true self.
Our true self-care begins with our belief in our worthiness of care.
Our worthiness of life.
Our worthiness of preservation.
This is a call to action to destroy the notion that we must suffer,
Do harm to ourselves that is counterintuitive to the functioning of our natural state to be deemed productive and hardworking.
This is a call to cease associating self-cruelty,
Self-animosity,
Self-destructiveness as honorable in our culture.
This meditation is a challenge to you to radicalize your very own self-care,
To reframe self-care as self-preservation rather than commercialized materialistic performances of bubble baths,
Scented candles,
And aesthetics.
Self-care begins with the belief I deserve to eat when I'm hungry.
I deserve to rest when I'm tired.
I deserve to say no when I do not have capacity.
My overwhelm is not progress and productivity.
I deserve to be alive and to thrive.
And so I invite you wherever you are,
Get comfortable in a seated position,
Whatever that looks like for you.
If this meditation is helpful for you,
Please leave a comment and let me know how this has benefited you.
And if you're in a position to do so,
Consider leaving a donation to help me continue this important work of bringing somatic and therapeutic practices to support the journey of recovery.
Once again,
My friends,
I have my guitar here with you to keep you company in this practice.
Rest comfortably in your seat.
Lower the eyes closed,
Sitting up tall and straight.
Lean up against your spine,
Lower the shoulders,
Expand the chest.
Release tension within the jaw.
Relax the hands into the lap.
This is a time to cultivate safety within the body,
To nourish and nurture the body with your breath.
You are safe.
Hold yourself here with your awareness.
Hold yourself here with gentleness.
Hold yourself here without judgment.
Lengthen and deepen the breath.
Feel into your body with each inhale and each exhale.
Rooting yourself in your living body,
You are safe.
If being present in your body is a new or unfamiliar sensation for you,
Know that you are safe in this moment.
Hold yourself with affection,
Attention,
Awareness,
And with gentleness.
Thoughts may come and go.
Know that they are just thoughts.
Use your breath to move the circulation of thoughts.
I invite you to take this moment to become aware and intentional about why you're completing this practice.
Think about what you wish to gain or accomplish.
Formulate a statement within your mind that calls to what you need right now.
It could be,
I need rest.
Really call to yourself what you need right now.
Call out your needs.
Commit it to the universe around you.
And if identifying your personal need is something that you are not yet familiar with,
That's okay too.
You are where you are in your development.
Think about what those personal needs could be.
Begin to ask yourself,
Where have I neglected myself and my care,
My preservation?
Begin to ask questions of yourself,
About yourself,
And your very own needs.
As you continue to breathe,
Begin to add a rhythm to your breath,
Inhaling for four counts and exhaling for four counts.
Inhale for four and exhale for four.
Nicely done.
Slowly and gently raise the hands to the heart level and give yourself two thumbs up,
Thumbs pointed up towards the ceiling.
Now press the sides of the thumbs together,
Press the sides of the knuckles together,
Keep the thumbs pointed straight up.
Draw the elbows back and hug this hand position,
Your two thumbs up,
With the sides of the thumbs together,
Thumbs pointed up.
Draw the elbows back and hug this hand position into the heart space.
Hold here.
If the arms tire,
You can lower them closer to the lap,
But keep the sides of the thumbs pressed together and the thumbs extended upwards.
If this hand positioning is not accessible to you,
Use the mind to picture yourself performing the spirit of this position.
Holding the hand position,
Inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth.
Exhale nose,
Exhale mouth.
Inhaling completely through the nose,
Exhaling completely through the mouth.
Go at your own pace.
This is where we will remain for the rest of the practice.
Be patient with yourself,
Be gentle with yourself.
Meditation is a time to honor yourself as you are,
Where you are,
Without judgment,
Without criticism,
Without analyzation or rumination or categorization.
Allow yourself to be who you are,
Where you are,
Right now.
Allow the thoughts to flow by like a stream.
The thoughts come and go.
As the thoughts come and go,
Continue your breathing,
Holding your hand position into the chest.
Keep the thumbs pointed straight upwards.
Inhale deeply through the nose and exhale completely through the mouth,
Holding your hand position in the chest.
On your next inhale,
Inhale kindness,
Care,
Gentleness,
Compassion and creativity.
And exhale.
On your next inhale,
Inhale spaciousness,
Expansion,
Conscious awareness in the stillness of this moment.
And exhale.
You're doing great.
Keep up with the rhythm of your breathing.
We're halfway there.
Inhale nose.
Exhale mouth.
Continue at your own pace.
You're doing great.
Just like before,
When we focused on the inhale,
Let's emphasize the exhale this time.
On your next exhale,
Release emotions that have been stuck inside of you,
Pent up,
Bottled up,
Pressurized and stored.
Exhale.
Let it all go.
Inhale deeply.
Exhale completely.
Exhale rumination.
Exhale replays.
Exhale flashbacks.
Exhale worries and anxieties.
Release,
Release,
Release.
Let it all go with your breath.
Allow the emotional energy to move with your breath,
With your inhale,
With your exhale.
Inhale deeply.
Exhale completely.
Inhaling nose,
Exhaling mouth.
Holding your hand positioned tightly into the chest,
Thumbs pointed straight up,
The knuckles are pressed together.
Inhale deeply,
Exhale completely.
Inhale nose.
Exhale mouth.
Picture the thoughts flowing by like a river.
Visualize that river in your mind.
Your thoughts are like a stream.
Nothing to grasp.
No liking or disliking any part of that stream.
No judgment.
No categorization,
No labeling.
Allow the thoughts to flow by as they are with your breath.
The thoughts come and go.
Inhale nose,
Exhale mouth.
You're doing beautifully just as you are.
As we draw near to the close of our practice,
Make these next inhales and exhales count.
Inhale deeply through the nose,
Expand the chest,
Expand the ribcage,
Expand the belly,
Draw from the universe around you all that you need to thrive,
To care for yourself,
To preserve for yourself.
Bring your personal needs to mind at this moment.
Inhale expand.
And then when you can no longer inhale,
Exhale completely,
Release judgment,
Release shame,
Release blame,
Release labeling,
Release categorization,
Release judgment,
Release judgment,
Release,
Release judgment.
Sit here in this moment.
Notice the state of your mind at this time.
Make a mental note,
A snapshot with your memory of this special place where your highest good is nurtured.
Fight for yourself.
Use your breath to call yourself to a fully embodied state of self-care.
