Change The Story, Change Your Life

In this 14 minute episode we explore how the narratives we carry shape our thoughts, behaviors, and experiences. Drawing from narrative therapy, I discuss how it's often not the problem itself—but the story we attach to the problem—that creates our suffering.

We dive into the power of meaning-making and how the definitions we assign to events, people, and emotions deeply impact our identity and well-being.

You'll learn how to identify limiting inner narratives, shift into more expansive ones, and become the conscious author of your own story.If you’re ready to reframe your beliefs and rewrite the story that’s holding you back, this episode offers both insight and practical guidance.

Transcript

You're listening to the Minutes on Growth podcast,

The show that brings you mindfully curated insights into relationships,

Spirituality,

Personal development,

And everything in between,

With your host,

Tanaz Hussainpour.

Hi,

Soul friends.

It's Tanaz Hussainpour,

And welcome back to another short solo episode of the Minutes on Growth podcast.

Today,

I'm going to talk about something that can completely shift the way you experience life,

And it's the power of storytelling and meaning-making,

Because here's the truth.

It's not always the problem that's the problem.

It's the story that we have created about the problem that holds us back.

So everything we experience is filtered through the meaning we assign to it,

And that meaning is shaped by our past,

Our conditioning,

And our subconscious beliefs.

So in this episode,

We're going to explore how narrative therapy helps us separate ourselves from our problems.

We're going to understand the power of meaning-making and how it shapes our reality.

We're going to learn how to identify the limiting stories we're telling ourselves and discover practical tools to rewrite our inner narrative in a way that feels empowering and expands us.

So let's begin.

We are all natural storytellers.

So from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep,

We are constantly making meaning out of the events in our lives.

But here's the question.

Is the meaning we assign to things empowering us or limiting us?

So let's take an example.

Imagine two people lose their job on the same day.

Person A might say,

I got fired.

This is proof that I'm not good enough.

There's something wrong with me.

I'll never be successful,

And I should just settle for less.

And person B says,

I got fired.

This sucks,

But this is the universe redirecting me towards something better.

This is an opportunity to realign with a career that truly excites me.

Same event,

Two completely different meanings.

And because of those different meanings,

These two people will experience the same event in completely different ways.

So person A might spiral into self-doubt,

They might hesitate to apply for new opportunities,

And ultimately they're going to prove through their actions that their limiting story is true.

Person B might take inspired action,

Network,

And find a career path even more aligned with their purpose.

So this is how powerful the meaning we assign to things is.

So I want you to take a moment and ask yourself,

What meaning am I attaching to the things that happen in my life?

And am I framing my experiences in a way that limits me or expands me?

And so I want to talk about narrative therapy and this idea that you are not your story.

So narrative therapy is based on the idea that we are separate from our problems and it helps us realize that we have the power to rewrite our experiences by changing the story we tell ourselves.

It's a very powerful therapeutic modality that I want to share with you.

So here's a simple way to start practicing narrative therapy in your own life.

Step one,

We want to externalize the problem.

So instead of saying,

I'm an anxious person,

We're going to say,

I am experiencing anxiety,

But I am not anxiety.

So instead of saying,

I am stuck,

We say,

I am feeling stuck in this moment,

But I am capable of movement.

I have the words I am tattooed on my wrist as a reminder that whatever we put next to it kind of gets embedded into our identity.

And I don't want my identity to be I'm an anxious person because anxiety is just an emotion that I'm experiencing in my body and I want it to arise and subside.

I want to feel it.

I want to create a vessel where it flows through me but doesn't become me.

And so when we separate ourselves from the issue,

We give ourselves the power to change it.

So step two,

Question the story.

Where did the story come from?

Is this my belief or was it conditioned into me by society,

Family,

Or past experiences?

And then ask yourself,

Is this the only possible story or is there another way to see this?

I love this prayer of just asking the universe,

Help me see this differently.

The Course in Miracles calls miracles a shift in perception.

Is there another way for me to perceive this?

Just ask the question from the universe and just sit and allow yourself,

Allow that new vision,

That new perception to come to you.

And then step three is rewrite the meaning.

What is a more empowering meaning I can assign to the situation?

And how can I reframe this experience in a way that serves me?

I've mentioned this in previous episodes,

But sometimes people ask me,

How do you know for certain that the universe has your back?

And I'm like,

No one knows anything for certain.

But would you rather live in a world where the universe has your back or the universe is abandoning you and there's no support system?

Which one feels safer to you?

Which one feels more empowering,

More expansive?

So let me share another real life example with you.

I once had a client who was struggling with rejection at work.

Anytime she wasn't chosen for a promotion,

She would tell herself that like,

This always happens to me,

I'm not worthy,

I'll never be enough.

So she loved the company,

But she wanted a promotion in terms of her position and an increase in pay.

And whenever there was like an opening for a position,

She would apply and she'd get rejected.

And so she had built an entire narrative around rejection,

One that reinforced this notion of unworthiness and self-doubt.

And so we started to get curious with it and we broke it down.

And as cliche as it sounds,

We started to reframe rejection as redirection.

So we started to work with the subconscious mind and assign a new meaning to this rejection.

So the previous meaning was I'm not good enough.

And the new meaning that we started to embed into her subconscious mind was this is not meant for me and the right opportunity is still on its way.

And we continued to feed this new belief to her mind and body.

And you're going to be shocked at what happened next.

So the more she started to accept this new narrative and this new truth,

Different opportunities start to knock on her door.

And then one opportunity from another company showed up where it was a similar position,

But a significantly increase in pay.

One that she didn't even think honestly was possible for her.

Like when I would tell her like,

What's your goal income?

She would never say that number because she just thought,

You know,

Based on my experience in X,

Y,

And Z,

It's never going to happen for me.

And she had this deep desire to like have her own place and to move out of her parents' home.

And guess what?

The bonus,

Her signing bonus was the right amount for her to get the flat that she wanted.

So being rejected at her,

You know,

Her previous employment really opened the doors for her to be redirected to this new employment where her pay was more.

She got the bonus to get that apartment.

And then here's where the story gets interesting.

While she was in the new company,

Really the opportunities that she was seeing reinforced this new narrative that I am worthy and that I am enough.

And so there's started to be an even deeper identity shift.

Fast forward a couple of months,

Her previous employer reached out to her and said,

We have another opening and we want you.

This is the position that you wanted.

This is the title that you wanted.

So come back.

And she said,

Hmm,

OK,

Feels good that you guys finally came around to giving me this title and this position,

But I can't go back to that pay.

And this is the pay I'm getting.

You need to match that.

And I remember before she told them,

You know,

You need to match that.

In her mind,

It was like,

Is it even possible?

Because this pay in that company,

In that old company might not be possible.

But she now was operating from this place of,

I know I'm worth it.

I know I'm enough.

Because she felt seen in that company.

She felt valued in that company,

In the new company.

And with this identity shift,

So much more magic entered her life because her old employer turned around and said,

We will match it.

She was shooketh,

Shooketh.

She went back to her previous employer and the company that she loved and a new position with the new title,

With the same pay.

And all she needed to do was shift that narrative from rejection to redirection,

From I'm not worthy to I am worthy to I'll never be enough to I am enough.

The meaning that she gave rejection and that shift around that meaning,

It created an identity shift,

Which brought around all the desires that she wanted.

So you can do this too.

You can rewrite your story.

So let's get practical.

How can we do that?

Step one,

We become aware of the dominant story that we're telling ourself.

So what is the common theme in your inner dialogue?

If your life was a book,

What would the title of your story be?

What would the title of the different chapters be?

What would this chapter be called?

Is the story limiting you or is it empowering you?

Step two,

Find the origin of the story.

Who taught you this?

Was this belief passed down to you by your parents,

By past experiences,

By culture?

And does disbelief still serve the person you are today?

Step three,

Create a new empowering meaning.

What is another way to look at the situation?

If your best friend had this experience,

What advice would you give them?

And then what new belief will allow you to feel more at peace and in alignment?

And then the last step,

Which is super,

Super,

Super important,

Reinforce the new story through action.

Your subconscious needs proof that this new story is true.

So start looking for evidence that supports your new belief.

I want you to surround yourself with people,

With books,

And with experiences that reinforce this new narrative.

So,

Soul friends,

At the end of the day,

We are not just experiences of life.

We are storytellers of life.

And the meaning we assign to events shapes our emotions,

Our actions,

And ultimately our experience of our future.

So today I invite you to ask yourself,

What story have I been telling myself about who I am?

What new meaning can I give to my experiences that will empower me?

And how can I rewrite my narrative into one of growth,

Resilience,

And self-trust?

Because you are not your past.

You are not your fears.

You are the author of your own story.

And you can turn the page at any moment.

Thank you so much for being here.

If this episode resonated with you,

Let me know.

I'd love to hear the story that you are rewriting.

Also,

Don't forget to press the subscribe button to leave us a comment.

I love doing these short solo episodes for you,

And I hope that you enjoy them and that they serve you.

Until next time,

Take care and keep growing.

Thank you for joining us this week on Minutes on Growth.

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