Hi my name is Mike and in this meditation we'll be working on releasing the grip of control and we'll be focusing on the ways we might try to control others,
The way people try and control us and what control means to us.
So take a moment and settle in.
Taking your time,
Maybe closing the eyes and we don't have to do anything for the first minute or so.
Just letting the body settle.
Trying to soften in to whatever position that is comfortable.
And we take a minute just to scan up and down our body,
Seeing if there's any tension.
Making any adjustments that's needed.
And right off the bat,
We try and see is there any part of this experience we are trying to control.
Maybe it's the thought of,
I gave up this time and I really want to get something out of this.
And I really want to get something out of this.
Or it's as simple as,
Maybe I should have taken that thing from home for work today.
That would have made the day better.
And our journey with control begins at the question,
Are you living the life you thought you would be?
As a kid,
We all have dreams.
I want to be a firefighter.
I want to be this.
I want to be that.
Did it work out exactly according to plan?
And if you're like most people,
Or some people,
The answer might be no.
I ended up on the other side of the hemisphere from where I thought.
And we just look at this non-judgmentally,
Without guilt.
And we look at ourselves in this moment.
Bettering ourselves,
Sitting here,
Showing up day after day,
Doing the hard work that a lot of people just pass by.
And when you bring the word control to mind,
What does that feel like in your body?
I have control.
I want control.
I need control.
Does it tighten?
Does it bring more energy into the system?
We're just taking note of what occurs when the mind thinks,
I have complete control.
And we let that thought go.
And can just settle into an anchor point,
Such as the breath or sound.
So we ask ourselves,
In this stage of our life,
Are we the type of person that likes to plan everything?
To know.
Or do we just go with the flow?
And we drop in the question with the need to plan.
Is there a relationship with anxiety?
Because with that,
We are basically trying to predict the future.
How flexible are we with that plan?
I find the degree of flexibility is a direct correlation to the anxiety.
There is something high stakes.
It has to go perfect.
The anxiety spikes.
Are we able to loosen the grip?
Even just slightly.
Taking one hand off the reins.
I mean,
Does it really have to be perfect?
Even if we were 100% well rested,
Focused,
Could we actually make it perfect?
And if so,
What's the cost?
And if so,
What's the cost?
Another form of control is the should.
And the shouldn't.
You really shouldn't have done that.
That comes from me trying to control you.
And I'm trying to control you.
That comes from me trying to control you.
Or hey,
You should really,
Really do that.
Again,
Control.
Ego.
How many times do we think just that specific phrase,
Man,
That person really should not have done that.
If I were in that position,
Which is the control,
I would have done it differently.
Where in the body is that sense of control?
Does it come from a deep aligned soul space?
And does it come from the mind?
We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.
Thinking that we can control the next moment when we don't even know what's going to happen.
And yes,
It's good to have plans.
Of course,
It's okay to plan for the future.
But there must be some sort of understanding that not everything is going to go exactly the way we want it to.
And I'd like you just to see how this quote reacts with you.
The belief that if I don't plan for it,
Then it is not going to be okay.
If I don't plan it,
It's not going to happen.
How does that sit with you and take note of any story that comes along with it?
How does that sit with you and take note of any story that comes along with it?
And we just zoom out a little bit.
And in the safe space,
Which you've created,
We ask ourselves,
In what area of my life do I see myself controlling the most?
And if you had to put it on a scale of,
I must control this being a 10,
And I do not care what happens being a one,
Where would this area of your life fall?
Now we play a little bit.
Now we play a little bit.
Just seeing,
Let's say it's a nine,
What would it feel like to be an eight?
Just releasing a little bit.
What would happen in the grand scheme of things?
And inside your body?
What about a seven?
Just playing around with it.
And I'd like you to go as low as you feel comfortable.
And that could still be a nine,
By the way.
By the way,
Just invite a softening into this idea.
It doesn't mean you have to actually do it.
And when you've reached the number that you're most comfortable with,
We drop the question,
What do I fear from going even a little bit lower?
And that fear might be a place you'd like to explore in this space or in the future,
Or that's just a solid question.
Or that's just a solid ground for you of,
This is my comfort zone.
But Mike,
I can't give up all control.
And that's okay.
We practice the present moment.
And we must deal with the idea of it wanting to be a certain way.
And we do that over and over again.
Hundreds,
If not thousand times a day.
The mind comes in.
Well,
They weren't nice to me.
Maybe I shouldn't be nice to them.
And you say,
Well,
Let me take a breath.
Do I need to do that?
Is there a sense of control that might make me feel better?
And we look at that through this lens and we know that's just poison.
We continually come back to this moment.
We just explore this idea.
How has control served me in my life?
And to me,
This is much different than self-control.
Control is about controlling others.
And with self-control,
It is controlling thoughts,
But not others.
We're only responsible for our own actions day after day.
So we keep ourselves in control.
For our own actions day after day.
So we keep showing up.
And the invitation is the next time you sense control or shoulds or I need this from you to just see where it's coming from.
If it's truly necessary.
And could we shift that need to a loving request instead of a telling you to do so?
Right here,
Right now is our playground.
So we can show up the way we want to when we go off the mat.
So feel free to continue meditating on this.
Or whenever you're ready,
Inviting the eyes to open and coming back to this present moment.
