For When You Are At Wits End With Your Children

Take this time out when you are frustrated or overwhelmed in parenting. Allow yourself time to center and return from a responsive place rather than a reactive one. Consider what support you need, what boundaries you need, and re-remember your love and dreams for your children.

Transcript

Welcome to this guided meditation for when you feel at wit's end with your children. I invite you to take a few moments with me here now so that you can come back resourced and responsive rather than reactive. I invite you to settle in and take a deep breath and a long exhale. We know that children are who they are, And your children have their own timing about how and when they will grow up. And sometimes they have a whole different idea about what to do or not to do. Sometimes they are right, And sometimes you have a better way. Imagine that there are cords that connect you. Imagine all that struggling, The energy that pushes and pulls through these cords. And when you get reactive, The energy bounces back and forth between you and the cords get all knotted up, Entangling all of you. Each push, Each pull tightens the knots. Witness how this happens. Imagine the tangle of energy bouncing between you in the conflict that you may have just had. Now imagine breathing into this scene, Giving it some space. Imagine as you breathe that you untie the knots and cut the cords between you and let them loosen and maybe release all together. Imagine it throughout the conflict that you may have just had. Breathe openness into these scenes. Feel them open. Now listening can happen. Listen with your heart. Feel yourself being able to respond out of mindfulness. Let's take a breath and take the long view. What would you have needed so you could have responded instead? What would have made the difference? Imagine how the scene would have unfolded differently if you had responded rather than reacted. Try on some different responses. Notice how they feel. What have your children taught you about your own limitations? Can you appreciate them for the learning they offer you? Now tune into your child's reactions. Child or children. And see what compassion you have for them. When you let go of your side of the tension, Can you see what is true for them? Can you listen to your heart? Can you notice what sets them off? Does this signal anything deeper? Now shift into your children's perspective and just notice what is happening on their end. What's hard for them? What's really bothering them? Now let's take the long view. For each of these scenes you were remembering of conflict, Will they matter next week? Will they matter next year? Some children may have irritating habits. Can you imagine in what situation these habits might prove useful? Thinking about the situation with love, What would the best approach be? How can you take care of yourself? What support is there for each of you? How does the rest of the family play into this? What boundaries might you need to make or let go of? And where might you need some guidance? And once you've had time to think through these questions, I invite you to take another deep breath, Let it go, And come back into this moment. You may choose to write down some of the things that you thought about in this session, And you are welcome to return to it anytime you need it. Be well.