Limitations And Freedom

Welcome! This track talks about the transition from limitations, limiting beliefs, to freedom. This track speaks about the importance of self love, self kindness, embracing your fears and growing through them, as well as the benefits from shifting our perspective to love language and gratitude. I hope you enjoy and find this helpful. Until next time, much love and gratitude, Levi.

Transcript

Hello,

My name is Levi and today I want to talk to you about limitations and freedom.

And when I speak about limitations and freedom,

I am going to be speaking from my own personal experience.

So,

Limitations for me have always been a struggle.

From the very start,

I grew up with a lot of limitations.

These limitations had been very persistent and had followed me into adulthood.

And some of these limitations,

And due to the content,

I will not go into detail just to make sure that there's no triggers,

But a lot of these limitations had to do around,

You know,

My adoptive parents' own beliefs or own ways of being and wanting me to conform to those beliefs or to conform to their ways of being.

They wanted me and showed me that they wanted me to be someone else.

I always had felt that in order for me to be safe,

I needed to be somebody else,

Or I needed to shut down or be quiet or not express myself or not share my thoughts or my feelings.

You know,

A lot of these limitations in my childhood came from not having a choice,

Being harmed a lot,

Religious viewpoints that didn't align with me.

You know,

My gender,

My gender identity,

My gender expression,

There were so many things that I was consistently taught and shown in many ways that it was not okay to have different ways of being from them.

It was not okay for me to be who I was or for me to like what I liked,

Like who I liked.

And it just grew from there.

And this had grown pretty steadily until into adulthood.

And as I was reaching adulthood,

I could,

I could recognize that a lot of these limiting beliefs had,

It's almost as if they,

They felt like they became my identity.

And it ultimately,

I ultimately started to base every decision I made off of the limitations and limiting beliefs that I had learned growing up.

Every decision,

Every social interaction,

What clothes I wore that day,

Something as simple as that.

And this would progress more and more and more as time went on.

And when I started my spiritual journey and I started to truly recover and start to heal and start to shift my perspective on things,

I received quite a lot of information.

And through that information,

I started to recognize what limiting beliefs were and how they affected my life in what ways and what areas they affected my life.

And so there were many things I tried to stop these limiting beliefs from coming in or to at least reduce them or shift them.

And I recognized as long as I had those two people in my life,

As long as I was living in fear every single day from that trauma,

There wasn't a way for me to truly work on this for myself,

To truly heal this for myself.

So the first big moment for me,

The first huge,

Huge step for me was to make the decision to put myself first and to respect myself and love myself and recognize that I needed to be safe and I needed to feel safe.

So I decided to move.

I moved a long,

Long,

Long distance from these two without anyone knowing.

I mean,

There was two close,

Close people I told,

But I knew that they wouldn't tell them or anybody else.

And they have kept that promise,

Which I'm grateful for.

And I knew they would.

And so,

You know,

I had,

I had to research the city that I am currently in before I even moved here.

And the more I read about it,

The more it drew me in.

And I recognized that I have lived here in a past life.

This is where my ley lines connect.

This is where I belong.

And I,

I made the decision.

I got the resources I needed.

I got the funding I needed on top of,

You know,

What I had already saved up.

And so I booked a moving truck and I booked a U-ride for me and my cat.

And I had that all set up.

I had an apartment ready for me.

When I got here,

I got support systems put in place before I got here.

So everything was set up.

And I recognized,

I think it was maybe five days before I moved.

And one of my,

One of my abusers had popped up at my window again unannounced.

And she had had no contact warnings from the police.

Both of them have.

But she showed up again and she saw my moving boxes through my window.

And I remember thinking,

You know,

Normally I would be terrified.

Like I would just be terrified.

And I was just nervous.

I was just,

I was,

I was a little nervous and that was all.

And that was the first time I felt that like just nervous and not completely riddled with fear.

And it was this decision that I made,

You know,

I had changed my phone number.

I changed my emails and,

You know,

I changed other things too.

I even had to change my lock,

You know.

And just these starting points,

These decisions I just started to make had already affected me for the greater good.

And so anyway,

Moving day came along.

And as I was coming,

As I,

I wasn't quite coming into my city yet.

I was kind of,

I was kind of like,

It was like right before I started to cross a large body of water,

That was a moment where I decided to like,

You know,

Meditate in the car and think about all of the things that I was leaving behind for the greater good and really focusing on what I was leaving behind.

And as I went across this large body of water and onto the other side into my city,

I again started to meditate and I meditated on all of the blessings and all of the great things that are going to happen to me.

All of the newness that is coming to me.

And instantly,

Instantly,

When I crossed and I was in my city,

In that meditation,

Instantly,

I was like,

I'm home.

I'm safe.

I'm home.

This is my brand new start.

And honestly,

It has been the best thing.

I have ever done.

And I'm so grateful to be living here.

And so,

You know,

I have noticed,

I have noticed how,

Just how huge of an impact limitations played in my life and sometimes still do,

But I have a much,

Much better way of managing that now and working with that now.

I am,

I'm much more aware,

Self-aware as well,

Which helps in recognizing limiting beliefs,

You know,

Recognizing patterns of when they might be coming up and automatically knowing exactly what to do,

Automatically using my resources,

Using my spiritual gifts,

Using my spiritual tools,

It's become so automatic and I'm so grateful.

You know,

Right now,

Because I have chosen to leave certain things and certain people behind,

I have been able to enhance my self-care,

Enhance my self-love and my self-respect.

I have been able to do things that scare me,

But are good for me.

Like right now,

I am so grateful that I had started my transition,

My gender affirming transition.

To be able to look the way I look right now and have that match what I feel inside is indescribable.

I was in so much pain for such a long time,

Not being able to transition the way I needed to.

And I finally feel comfortable in my body and I'm so grateful to have been able to go through that and grow through that and I love my body now.

I am very comfortable with my body and I just feel much more at home in my body.

There are other things too,

Like where I used to live,

I barely got out even once a week,

Sometimes not even one day in an,

In,

In a entire week.

Um,

I used to not put certain things on my calendar because I was afraid of,

You know,

My abuser seeing stuff and hounding me about what it's for,

Who it's with,

Or where are you going,

Or,

You know,

Um,

I was able to donate all of my feminine clothing and donate all of my makeup and,

Um,

Start living the way I wanted to.

Start making friends that I wanted to make,

Not the friends that they wanted me to make.

You know,

There's so many things that have changed for the better and have just made me overall healthier.

And my spirituality has grown immensely as well.

My spiritual gifts have enhanced immensely as well.

And,

You know,

I'm doing like the spiritual healing gifts and tools that I use and I practice.

It's becoming much more automatic.

Switching my thoughts and switching my perspective has become much more automatic.

Self-love,

Self-kindness has become much more automatic.

You know,

I am getting outside and doing things and going places and seeing people almost every day.

I mean,

It's phenomenal.

I am finally in a place where I am connected with my Indigenous roots and I'm getting to know myself in that way.

And I'm very grateful for that.

I am able to have honest conversations with people that might feel uncomfortable.

I am able to set clear boundaries and I'm also able to reinforce them as many times as I need to.

And I'm grateful for that.

I climbed to the very top of the mountain,

One of the mountains in the city that I live.

And I had no equipment,

Just my hands,

My feet,

My body,

My strength,

My willpower and my faith and a little bit of adrenaline.

And it was really fun.

Coming down was not so fun,

But overall,

It was pretty fun.

And I honestly couldn't even describe it in words.

It was,

It was just the only word that I can think of being on the top of that mountain is miracle,

Bliss,

Beauty,

Serenity,

Just amazement.

I just,

I'm so grateful to have these opportunities,

Facing so many fears and doing it with a profound sense of faith and gratitude and wonderment and curiosity.

And I just love it.

You know,

I'm doing drag now,

Officially.

I'm officially a drag king in my city.

And honestly,

It's very healing.

It's very freeing.

It boosts my confidence more and all that I do,

All that I am,

All that I'm becoming,

I'm just continuously growing and improving and just creating a much more healthier,

Happier,

Safe life for myself.

And I honestly couldn't have done it without that one big,

Big,

Big step that started it all.

So it is possible.

And yes,

There is a lot of work that has to be done.

And we're always going to have work to do.

I mean,

We are human beings having,

Well,

We are spiritual beings having a human experience,

But we are human beings that have to go through these things.

It's inevitable,

But there is beauty on the other side.

There is beauty in the midst of doing this.

And I'm just here to say that it is possible.

I went through utter heck and I am on the other side of it.

And it's all thanks to that one decision,

That one decision that started it all,

Which is moving here.

And I do find every decision I make.

I make my decisions more intuitively.

I don't make my decisions anymore based on other people's opinions or views or beliefs or fear of me getting harmed.

I now make my decisions through my intuition,

Through what do I feel?

You know,

What,

What am I feeling?

What is for my greater good?

What is in alignment for me?

And then I go in that direction.

And so limitations to freedom,

It can be,

It can be a little rocky.

It can be a bit of a roller coaster,

But it is possible.

And you can definitely be on the other side where you're,

You,

You shifting,

Shifting your thoughts,

Shifting your perspective.

It can be more automatic.

Your self-kindness and self-love can be more automatic and yeah,

I'll just end with,

Remember to be gentle and kind and loving and patient with yourself today.

Give yourself a hug or a pat on the back,

Hand on the heart,

Whatever you feel comfortable with for being here,

For listening,

For showing up today.

It is great to be back with you all.

I will be uploading,

Uploading some more talks and perhaps some Oracle card readings.

And I'm just grateful to be back after a little bit of a break.

And I appreciate you listening.

Much love and gratitude.

I will see you soon.

Bye for now.