Chronic Illness Series: Starting A New Day

Morning can be a difficult time for those living with chronic illness as we face afresh the challenges and losses we're living with. This practice is especially for the morning (or any other time you may feel overwhelmed) to support you in opening to your experience without getting lost in thinking or getting dragged into emotions without awareness. And adding self-compassion to comfort and strengthen you.

Transcript

Good morning.

Beginning a new day and facing its challenges can be one of the hardest times of the day when you are living with chronic illness.

If sleep hasn't been deep,

Restful or had at all,

It's even harder.

Feeling and sensing those first perceptions of an unwell body,

The familiar sensations of pain and illness that let us know all is not well within.

Feeling weak,

Depleted and not ourselves.

Facing afresh the losses and frustrations that illness relentlessly presents.

And the fresh dawn which contrasts with things for us being the same,

When we are longing for better.

These perceptions can inevitably lead to a familiar pattern of thoughts and we all too easily find ourselves thrown headlong down worn out paths of thinking,

All too soon stuck in overwhelm.

Or understandably our response may be to contract and constrict around our feelings in our hearts and our bodies,

Avoiding,

Trying to block what's there as we carry on regardless of physical limits,

What our body is saying,

Pushing through somehow.

Yet on this path we end up adding weight to our already heavy hearts and strain to our bodies.

Cutting off from how we are means losing contact with ourselves,

With being in our body and being able to make the best choices for it.

This connection means we lose our home.

So today we'll try another way.

This practice has helped me on many mornings.

Maybe we can wake and be honest about how it is,

Allow how we are and stay connected to ourselves and respond with self-compassion.

Our only chance of peace is from within our bodies and in this moment.

So even amidst all we didn't choose,

This is where we need to begin.

From the comfort of your bed,

Allow your body to tell you how it wants to rest.

Take your time now to experiment with adjustments.

Do what feels better to you today.

Arrive slowly.

The breath is our best vehicle to shift into rest and greater stillness,

To get that message to every cell.

So do what you know works well for you to settle and deepen your breath.

Or if you'd like guidance,

I suggest exhaling slowly and steadily through your mouth for a few breaths,

As if you were blowing out a candle gently,

Each time the exhale getting longer and slower.

And with each inhale,

Allow the breath into the belly so that it inflates like a balloon.

And on the slow,

Steady exhale through your mouth,

Feel everything letting go.

Letting go of all mental entanglements and your expectations of the day and of this practice.

Do this for a few rounds of breathing.

And then let the breath return to however it wants.

Throughout the rest of the practice,

You can return to the feeling of the ebb and flow of the breath in your body,

The belly or the chest at any time.

Whenever you get lost in thoughts,

Before coming back again to the practice.

This day,

Today,

Is not yesterday.

However yesterday was,

And however it went,

However your sleep was,

It's all in the past now.

And the future is not here.

Later on isn't here.

We don't know how today will go.

So for now,

We arrive in this moment and let go of the rest.

Only now and only here is our opportunity for peace.

Gently escort your attention and slide it more fully into your body.

Slowly feel into your physical body as if you've just arrived here for the first time.

Moving your attention around and feeling with curiosity.

Being interested in how you are.

We're used to contracting around our sensations and judging them.

But in this moment,

Choose to be open and accepting.

And greet what you find.

Greet it all.

The unwanted,

The pain,

The depletion,

The familiar signs of illness within you.

Vibration,

Whirring,

Buzzing,

That may be all too familiar.

It's safe,

It's okay to come alongside these physical sensations.

Imagine you are pressing the pause button on all the usual thoughts you may have about these sensations.

Just being open to the possibility of letting go of any thinking that starts up about a sensation or a symptom,

However difficult,

However painful.

Just feeling it.

Being fully in the body,

Aware and accepting of the energy that's there.

Gently and repeatedly feeling your attention away from mental comment and chatter.

And in this space,

Feel it all.

Without judgement.

Maybe even feeling the relief of acceptance.

Of no stories and no labels.

Now alongside the physical,

Tenderly consider what emotions are present.

Not barging into your heart,

But approach your heart centre gently and with care.

Softly asking,

How am I feeling?

Where am I feeling?

And listen in to the body telling you about your feelings.

Feeling what it's like in the body to have these emotions.

Again,

No judgement needed.

Staying connected with the breath.

Breathe and feel and allow whatever is the evidence of their existence.

Without contracting and resisting.

Maybe there's the energy and sense of loss,

Of despair,

Or anger,

Or frustration,

Or fear,

Or longing.

Such very difficult feelings,

But so natural when our bodies don't work as we'd like,

And limits are placed on us.

Voices taken away and pain is present.

These are all natural responses.

Allow them.

They may come,

Go,

Overlap,

Be quite undefined.

They are the emotional,

Energetic responses to your situation.

Give them space.

Feel their texture,

Their tone.

Notice the energy feels like behind the emotions.

How you know that they're there.

Closed,

Heavy,

Hot,

Frozen,

Numb.

Just being curious about what your senses are telling you and what you can feel in your body.

And if they move,

Gently following with your awareness.

Letting the sensations lead.

So,

This,

This is it.

Nothing hidden.

Just breathe.

It takes courage to remain here.

Breathe softly.

Feel the support of the bed holding you.

Know the earth has you.

It is steady and sure beneath you.

Gravity is holding you steady.

You are held by the earth.

Feel the reassurance of that moment of peace and stillness that arrives at the end of each exhale.

And allow that moment of peace to expand and spread throughout your body.

Know that from this place of allowing,

You can make better choices about how to care for yourself today.

You could end your meditation here,

Or if you can,

Continue with me now to include self-compassion in your practice today.

Imagine a loved friend,

Family member,

Child or pet.

Imagine they were experiencing something similar or like what you are today.

Imagine they are with you,

And you know this is how they are feeling.

And you can feel your natural response to their difficulties.

Feel the quality of presence that you would bring to them.

Feel the kindness you would want to extend.

Maybe you would offer a word or two like,

I'm here.

I'm sorry this is how it is.

I'm with you.

Now turn that presence towards yourself.

Bring the very same kindness that you know you would give to another,

To yourself.

Experience that gentle,

Attentive,

Open presence that you would bring to another.

Offer it to yourself and be open to receiving it.

Maybe saying simple words to yourself,

I'm here,

I'm with you.

And to help enact and symbolise what you're doing,

You could put one hand on your chest or your heart,

A hand on your upper arm or belly,

To help you to feel into the receiving it.

Be that nurturing presence you would offer to another,

Be that to yourself,

Experience receiving it.

You are embodying the loving presence you need.

At home with yourself,

Holding yourself here,

Without trying to change or solve or fix anything.

And again feel the body's response,

The sensations.

Allow the effects of the self-compassion to wave and ripple through you,

However they do.

Feeling into vulnerability takes courage,

But with practice we find that softer is stronger.

And that self-compassion is a strength and a salve and creates a refuge for us.

I find that honouring our experience brings us dignity,

As well as a deeper knowledge of what we really need.

Go rest and breathe here for as long as you need.

There are many paradoxical truths in life.

We can be both afraid and brave.

We can be both vulnerable and resilient.

We can be both tender and tough.

Feeling one does not exclude the other.

In opening to ourselves we will find more of all of it.

Go gently today.

I wish you peace.

Reviews

Wonderful support for those chronically ill, thank you 🙏

Wonderful morning guidance for flare days especially. Thank you 🙏🏽

💜This was very gentle and soothing, it brought me a few moments of peace. Thank you so much🙏

Thank you, it helped me to grow understanding, compassion and acceptance. I always focus on judging, criticising and feeling guilty. All that negativity has been leading me to frustration and more tiredness. I found a different perspective with this meditation. Thank you very much 🤍

Lorna, thank you for a peaceful & comforting morning track for those on this challenging journey of chronic illness…❤️‍🩹💞🙏🏻

Very calming and positive. Before the meditation I felt anxious and as if my body was fighting the current experience. I held my hand on my heart during the whole meditation which grounded me to be ok with this experience. Thank you so much!

THANK YOU so much for this!!! I'm so grateful I found it, because it was exactly what I needed today. I'm sure I will return to it frequently, and I'm excited to hear your other tracks as well. 🙏

Thank you for another lovely practice, Lorna. Gentle encouragement to inhabit the present moment, despite discomfort. I appreciated the paradoxical truths at the end.