Men: Feeling Rejected Or Unwanted? Try This Before Bed

For the men who feel unseen. This is Day 1 of a new kind of wind-down. A soft space to end your day - especially if you're carrying rejection, shame, or touch hunger.

I’ll be here often, helping you exhale the weight of the day.
You don’t have to earn comfort. You deserve it.

Transcript

Hey,

Goodnight lover.

You are here after a long air stay and that counts for something.

So what am I doing here?

Something new,

A little wind down,

A little call off to end the day.

Something that you deserve,

Reminding you that you are important,

Encouraging you for all of the incredible things that you've done.

Kind of ASMR style,

But I don't claim to be an ASMRtist.

I do love listening to ASMR.

That is one of the things that has given me this idea.

I work with men who maybe have been feeling rejected,

Undesirable,

Not good enough,

Hungry to be touched and I just had this feeling that I may be able to offer some comfort in some way through this medium and it's not all mapped out,

I don't have a script or an exact idea of how this will go,

But this is day one.

I know my intention,

I know my heart is here to help you know that you are important,

That you do deserve to be appreciated,

That you are seen and so let's take it from there.

So what do you have to do while I'm talking?

Nothing.

You are already just doing so much by being here,

By being you and you don't need to earn this moment of peace,

Of affirmation.

You don't need to earn anything at all.

So I intend to show up here talking to you from my heart often if you like this,

If it is something that feels good and supports you and I'm just going to be getting on with my morning and hopefully encouraging you to settle down for the night because it is often when we lay our head on the pillow that all of these thoughts kind of circle around and makes it hard to actually let go and fall asleep.

I've been there too or maybe you've woken up in the night and now those thoughts are just in your mind and you can't get it to settle.

Yeah,

It's okay.

You are not alone.

So I have a couple of notes that I wanted to just say and share with you and just remind you that you are doing so well and I'm not here to try to fix you or make you feel better,

Just to help you check in,

Breathe and remember how awesome you actually are.

You truly are.

Even if you don't feel like you're measuring up in whatever way that is,

You are doing enough.

Okay,

Here's what I wanted to say.

Maybe it feels like some days nobody is noticing how much you hold,

How much expectation is on your shoulders,

How much pressure,

Even unspoken,

Even pressure that you are putting on yourself.

It's almost like it is expected and you are just expected to carry it day after day after day with no outlet to show your emotion.

No one you can talk to,

No one you can be real with.

And in this world where it is confusing to be a man,

That I know I'm not a man,

But my heart is kind of grappling and trying to understand the pressures that men face and I want you to know that I see you and I'm grateful and so many of us in this world are grateful for you,

Your masculine energy,

The way you uniquely show up in the world.

You give so much and it may be that you still feel kind of invisible,

But you matter more than you can know.

Maybe you feel unwanted,

Untouched,

But that is a very real thing that so many humans experience,

That touch hunger,

That wanting to be touched,

That craving to be touched and that rejection because every time you reach out,

Maybe you're met with bristling and resistance and maybe you've tried so many things and it just makes you feel like,

Are you wrong to want to be touched?

Is this so unreasonable?

I'm telling you it's not unreasonable.

You're human.

So what can you do in this moment besides closing your eyes and knowing that you are validated?

If you feel like it,

You can relax and follow my instructions.

I invite you to put one hand on your chest right now.

Just rest it there while you breathe easily,

Feeling the weight of your hand and that connection of your hand to this chest,

Feeling the warmth of your own touch,

But no rush,

No pressure because you know your body doesn't care where that comfort comes from.

It's okay to be your own hand that soothes you.

So just give yourself that.

Allow yourself to just be soothed and touched and held.

Allow yourself to believe what I'm telling you,

That you are worthy,

That you are important and that whatever happened today and yesterday and this week,

You are doing so well and we need you.

So take a deeper breath with me now.

I want you to inhale fully and then inhale again and now exhale through your mouth until there is nothing left.

That is called a physiological sigh.

There's science behind it.

So let's do it again.

You're going to do one deep inhale through your nose,

Slow and deep.

And then when you think you are full,

Full,

Full,

You're going to take one more inhale through your nose and then you're going to release every little last bit of oxygen through your mouth.

Are you ready?

Let's do it together.

Ready?

Inhale.

Exhale.

How does that feel?

It's like a little mini reset.

And you can do that as many times as you like,

Whenever you like.

It is a little tool that is always there for you that might be boosted by having your own hand on your body,

Wherever you need your hand on your body right now.

Now,

I want you to think about your jaw.

Is it tight?

Have you been clasping it all day?

Let it go slack.

Just let it loosen.

Relax your tongue.

Relax your shoulders and just focus on feeling the support that is beneath you.

If you're sitting down,

Then maybe it is the chair underneath you.

If you are lying down,

Feel the support underneath your back.

Let yourself soften into it.

Just let yourself be held the way you hold so many things together.

The next thing I wanted to say was,

Thank you.

This world doesn't always thank you.

It doesn't always thank men.

Not for the quiet work you do,

The emotional load that you carry.

So I want to say that to you tonight.

Thank you.

I see you.

You made it through today.

And that's all that matters.

So here's something to try.

Next time you're feeling alone,

Feeling that ache,

Don't go numb.

Don't scroll it away.

Place your hand on your chest again.

Or run your hands down your arms.

Touch yourself wherever feels good.

And know that you deserve touch and affection.

Even if you're the one giving it to yourself.

Why deny that of yourself?

So that's what I wanted to share with you today.

Who knows how this might evolve?

Who knows if this will land and resonate and even feel good?

Let me know.

Did this help?

Will this help you take a little bit of that weight off your shoulders?

So that you can relax and ease into sleep.

If you enjoyed it,

Come back again soon.

I'll be here.

Same vibe.

Same calmness.

Same appreciation.

And no pressure.

Just a space where you can come to exhale.

Sleep well,

Lover.

Good night.

Reviews

This was a beautiful practice, Lisa! Your soothing voice and kind words were needed and very appreciated. It's clear that you've put a lot of work into understanding men and the things we struggle with. Thank you, and I hope you still plan to release more practices like this one 🙏

Really nice and assuring session to tackle feelings of being unwanted. Found this super helpful and comforting. Thanks

Thank you. I do feel that you have a deep understanding about how men process things and navigate life. Much appreciated

This was so perfect! It is amazing how you seem to know men so well. You make me feel understood and appreciated. I am bookmarking this, and will play it again before bedtime. You are the best!