Hi,
I'm Lexi,
And welcome.
Today,
I'd love to explore something with you that most of us do without even realizing we're doing it,
And that is complaining.
For example,
Did you know that research suggests that most of us complain between 15 and 30 times every single day?
And in the moment,
It can feel quite natural.
Sometimes,
It's a way of letting off steam,
And it can even be a way of connecting with somebody else about how hard things feel.
But more often than not,
It turns into a habit,
And then quietly begins to take its toll.
And then instead of helping us feel better,
It often leaves us feeling worse.
And here's why.
Every time we complain,
The amygdala,
That primitive part of our brain that detects danger,
Lights up.
It signals stress chemicals into the body,
Which over time can weaken the immune system,
Drain our energy,
And make us more reactive.
It also quiets the prefrontal cortex,
Which is the part of the brain that we need for clarity,
Perspective,
And decision-making.
And also,
The feel-good chemicals like dopamine and serotonin don't flow as freely.
So complaining,
In other words,
Can literally train our brains to feel worse over time.
The good news is that there is another way.
Instead of feeding the habit of complaint,
We can build the habit of noticing moments that are often referred to as glimmers.
Those small,
Often ordinary experiences that expand us.
Perhaps a kind smile,
Maybe a patch of sunlight we notice on the wall,
The sound of birds,
Or even a deep,
Steady breath.
And here's where it gets playful.
Gratitude and glimmers are like a magic elixir that helps dissolve complaining at the roots.
You don't have to make yourself stop complaining.
Complaining isn't wrong.
It's just that there's a lighter,
More joyful way available to us.
It's like a game you get to play.
Gratitude becomes the doorway,
The way into a different experience of the very same moment.
For example,
Maybe you might catch yourself thinking,
Ugh,
The rain again.
And instead,
You might pause and breathe.
And then you might notice,
Actually,
I'm grateful for the sound of it on the windows and that my home is warm and dry.
Or you might think,
This queue is taking forever when you're in the local shop.
And then you might remember,
Actually,
I'm so lucky that I have a corner shop and I don't have to drive into town.
Or you might suddenly think,
I can't believe I had to answer so many emails,
Followed by,
You know what?
I'm actually really fortunate that people want to connect and work together.
Or you might think,
I'm so lucky that I have a home and I don't have to drive to work with me.
As you can see,
These aren't about forcing positivity or pretending everything's perfect.
They're more about shifting your focus just slightly,
Enough to see a glimmer of what's already nourishing and supportive and true in this moment.
And the more we notice these glimmers,
The more our nervous system rebalances.
Feeling our feelings without pushing them away allows the snow globe of the mind to settle.
And from here,
We naturally access perspective,
Insight,
And steadiness.
So the next time you notice yourself about to complain,
I invite you to consider taking a pause.
A couple of slow,
Deep belly breaths.
And then notice how your body feels.
And then gently turn your attention to what glimmer is here,
Right now,
In this moment.
Complaining is just an old habit,
But habits can change.
And by choosing to look toward the light,
The shadows naturally fall behind us.
So if you'd like to deepen this practice,
You can explore my Glimmers Reset Audio or the Gentle Breathing Reset.
Both are here for you whenever you might need a little extra support.
Remember,
Your well-being doesn't depend on everything working out.
It does begin inside you,
Right now,
In this breath.
