Creating Your Vision

Having a vision for your life gives you direction and energy. It is what gets you up in the morning. When you've got a vision, decisions make themselves without any overthinking: you know whether your decision aligns with your vision or not. It becomes easy to say NO to people and to things. In this talk, I'll take you through 2 exercises to help you determine what you want your life to look like and what impact you'd like to have.

Transcript

Creating Your Vision Welcome,

My name is Katrina Horn and I'm a life coach.

I help my clients create the vision for their lives so that they can get to work on them and reap the benefits.

So,

Have you got a vision for what you want your life to be about?

If not,

Let me know right now.

You might be feeling really unmotivated to get clear on your vision.

You might be feeling tired and exhausted,

Feeling stuck,

Experiencing little to no excitement in life.

And that's not what you want.

You want to feel energized.

You want the idea of a clear purpose.

You want determination.

You want direction.

Having a vision has you get up in the morning with a spring in your step.

When you've got a vision,

You've got no problem setting boundaries because you want to nurture and protect your vision.

Making decisions is effortless because you know if something fits in with your vision or not.

So,

Vision gives you confidence.

Some of the common mistakes I see is that people push themselves some more.

Meaning,

If they're not satisfied with what their lives look like,

They just think that they have to do more,

Push more,

Achieve more.

Or they believe that there's something wrong with them.

Something went wrong or they are wrong and now they have to get out of this wrongness.

And as they aren't wrong in the first place,

They can't really get out of being wrong.

And that has them be in this wait attitude.

Tell me if that has been you being in that attitude where you're sort of waiting,

Waiting and wondering what's going to come next.

So,

You could be experiencing a lack of focus,

Feeling restless,

Thinking about when X,

Y,

Z happens and then telling yourself,

Oh,

When this happens,

Then I'll know and I'll take the action.

You could be sitting there thinking,

I don't know what my next step is.

So,

How do I get a promotion?

How do I find my dream home,

My dream man?

And that leads to a lot of procrastination.

You try a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

Not getting you anywhere.

And that's exhausting.

Exhausting.

I'll teach you to use your vision as inspiration for feeling engaged in life,

Connected and purposeful.

I want you to have a life that fits you like a glove,

Where you're full of energy,

You've got a positive outlook on life,

Not because you're fighting the darkness.

You're not fighting what you don't want.

You're not arguing.

You're tapping into what it is you do want.

And then you let yourself be lit up by that.

Are you with me on that?

Let me know.

So,

Why it hasn't worked for you before,

This idea of a vision,

Is that the pitfall is that there are always two ends to a stick.

So,

Maybe if you've got a dream,

If you've got a vision or a goal in life,

You could be focusing on the fact that you haven't got it yet.

So,

You're all the time obsessing about,

Oh,

I haven't got it.

Oh,

I want it so much,

But I haven't got it.

And that is holding you back because it's having you feel sad.

And from that sort of sadness,

Or perhaps even desperation,

Sometimes despair that you haven't got it yet,

You can't really take any meaningful action.

So,

What I'm going to share with you now will help you save time and money,

Heartache and stress,

Because you'll get to fuel your every day,

Your every week,

Every month with your vision.

So,

Here's why I think a vision is so important in life.

I was living my dream life.

I had my dream man,

And I've still got him,

My dream house,

Dream work,

All good.

Like,

I had it all,

I felt.

And then,

Even knowing that,

Life got to be a little bit boring.

I mean,

There was so much to be grateful for,

And don't get me wrong,

I was grateful,

But I really wanted more.

I had a confused idea that there was more.

Unfortunately,

I met my coach,

Who showed me what that more looked like for me.

Now,

I've always had dreams.

When I was very young,

I wanted to play the harp.

The harp for things.

And as I was born in Northern Denmark,

There were no harps around,

And there were no teachers.

So that was sort of like an impossible dream.

And people kept telling me,

It's impossible.

Then,

When I was 11,

I did get to play the harp.

And then,

That led me on to having the vision of me going to music college in London.

I had that vision of me travelling to London,

Auditioning for college,

Getting in.

And everybody told me,

But Katrina,

That's so unrealistic.

Because,

Well,

Nobody had done it before,

But I was just thinking,

Well,

Maybe I can do it.

Maybe this is for me.

So I went ahead,

I auditioned,

And I got in.

So that just had me thinking that,

Well,

Actually,

There will always be people in my life who try to hold me back.

And they're really well-meaning.

They want to protect me.

They want to protect me from being disappointed.

But if I'm OK with sometimes being disappointed,

Then there's no end to what I can have,

To what I can do,

And to what I can be.

So many,

Many,

Many years later,

I started my own business.

And that really fuels me every day.

My next dream is to live in a chateau.

Where I live,

In France.

So listening on to this audio,

You'll know why having a vision can change more for you than to simply help you feel good.

Feeling good is always good,

Right?

So feeling good is also exactly what you need to be able to follow up on your vision.

I'm presuming that you want a life that fits you like a glove,

That you want to be full of energy,

And have a positive outlook,

Not fighting the darkness,

But tapping into more of what it is you do want,

So that you can be all of who you can be.

You might believe right now that what stands between you and living that vision of yours are outside circumstances.

Something out there in the world is preventing you from having the life you want.

So you get to work hard on changing your circumstances to make life a little better.

So that could look like you telling yourself,

If only I had a shorter commute to work,

That would feel so much better.

The problem with that vision of a life with a shorter commute is that it's very difficult to get really invested in it,

To get really excited about it.

It's a small vision,

And it will get you small results.

It could have you work harder.

It could have you doing a lot of daydreaming and wishing for change.

But that vision is not powerful enough to get you to take some powerful action.

And these small visions,

These little fantasies often stay in the mind.

So for some of you,

Maybe you're not dreaming big enough.

When you don't dream really big,

If you don't get in touch with all your desires,

The vision you come up with won't satisfy you.

So you find it difficult to follow through with the action that is going to take you there,

To start moving you towards living more of your vision.

The first thing to do is to take full responsibility.

So you can't keep blaming things on your employer,

On your family,

On your husband,

On your children,

On outside circumstances.

You must take full responsibility for it.

So what I teach my clients is my five steps to creating their vision and taking action on it.

And the first step is desire.

You really have to feel into your deep desires.

Then we walk into possibility.

We open up to what else is possible.

And then we let go of the need to justify.

Once we no longer need to justify what it is we want,

We can also relinquish control.

So what you walk away with is a vision to fuel your way to your dream life.

So let's get into an exercise.

Let's get really specific.

When you think about your vision for your life,

What do you want your relationships to be like?

Think about your friends.

Think about your family,

Your co-workers.

How do you want to feel as you interact with them?

I'm always looking to connect on a deep level with everybody in my life.

Of course,

It's nice to talk about the weather.

But then in my life,

I want to move on to something more meaningful,

Where there's an exchange of ideas.

And opinions,

Perhaps.

Where we are exploring a subject together.

That's the kind of relationships I want.

What about you?

You can pause the audio and write down a few ideas.

What about your romantic relationship?

What do you want that to feel like?

Whether you've got a romantic partner now or not,

What do you really want to feel like when you're with them?

What do you want to be talking about?

What do you want to be doing?

What kind of sex life do you want?

What would that all look like?

What about your work,

Your career?

What do you want that to look like right now?

And where do you want to go?

How do you want it to evolve?

Who do you want to be?

Take your time.

You can always pause the audio.

Write down a few things.

What would you like your work to be?

I'm not asking you to come up with a job title.

I would like for you to come up with a list of things you would like to include in your work.

Maybe you want a vibrant work environment,

Thoughtful colleagues,

A few challenges.

What would they be?

What are the skills you'd like to develop?

Or maybe use more of?

Let's move on to your health.

Now,

I imagine that in your vision,

You want to be in perfect health.

But what does that look like?

Does it have you go for long walks?

Does it have you go to yoga classes?

Is there a change in your diet?

What would you do more?

What would you stop doing?

What would support you in that perfect health?

Have you got children?

If you've got children,

Just remember that children don't do what we tell them to.

They model what we do.

They model how we are.

So the best way to influence your children is to be the person you want to be and they'll pick up on it.

So what do you want to model to your children?

This is a very powerful question if you've got children.

What world view do you want to teach them?

How do you want them to think about themselves?

Do you want them to have the same self-talk that you do?

If not,

Change it.

What kind of self-talk would you like to have in your vision?

And what kind of self-talk would you like your children to pick up on?

So living your vision,

Living that dream life of yours,

The vision,

The life that you've crafted.

Try to imagine how you want to feel at the end of the day.

Name one emotion.

How do you want to feel at the end of the day?

You.

Fear.

What would have happened in the day for you to feel that?

Name one emotion and perhaps write down a few things.

So,

What action would allow you to feel that at the end of the day?

At the end of my days,

I want to feel spent.

And when we say spent,

Normally it's got a negative connotation.

So I want to feel spent.

And when we say spent,

Normally it's got a negative connotation.

But to me,

It means that I've been using most of my skills,

That I've connected with so many gorgeous people,

That I'm so full of impressions from the day,

And I'm so content and grateful.

I've used all of me.

That's how I want to feel,

That feeling of spent.

That feeling of spent.

Now I can rest is what I want to be thinking.

Now I've done what I wanted to do.

I'm good.

How do you want to feel?

So that was one exercise where you got clearer on what your vision could look like.

Maybe you want to take some time to journal about that and write down what an ideal day would look like.

My next question is,

What would you like to have if you didn't have to justify it?

What would you like to have if you didn't have to justify it?

Let me repeat that.

What would you like to have if you didn't have to justify it?

With my clients,

I see so often that our desires are totally limited by what we think we can justify having.

So try this on.

If you didn't grow up in an environment,

In a neighborhood where everybody had a private jet,

You might not get the idea that you want one.

Do you see what I mean?

Unless you're somebody extremely important,

You don't really need a private jet,

Do you?

That's also why I like my example of a chateau.

Because nobody can justify having to live in a chateau.

Not even me.

So I don't try to.

I just give up having to justify it.

What would you have if you didn't have to justify it?

Let me know.

Message me and let me know.

So once you've thought a little bit about that,

Or perhaps felt into it,

What are you really drawn to?

What do you really most desire?

Then please make that part of your vision.

Our last exercise together is you imagining you on your 80th birthday.

Imagine being 80 years old.

It's your birthday.

You're celebrated.

You've got a big party going on.

And everybody you want to be there is there.

Who do you want to be there?

It could be an intimate circle of five people,

Or there could be hundreds of people.

Who would you like to be there?

Who would you like to be there on your 80th birthday?

So see yourself enjoying your 80th birthday,

Surrounded by the people you want to be there.

And then imagine speaking to all of them.

They all come up to you saying thank you.

Thank you for this brilliant party.

And then they say thank you for the impact you had on me.

They want to tell you how you impacted them.

Can you imagine what they're telling you?

What are they saying?

How did you impact them?

Why are they so grateful to you?

What are they saying?

Maybe you want to write down some of these things.

Maybe you just want to sit there with a feeling of all these people telling you what you mean to them.

What is it?

Once you're clear on that,

Your impact is clear.

Once you're clear on that,

Your impact,

You've really got a very good rough draft of your vision.

You can now choose to follow through.

If you want to,

You really can create this life of yours that fits you like a glove.

I've created a five-step process I've created a five-step process to living your dream life.

So let me just share that with you.

The first step is that we nurture desire.

So right now,

You've come up with a lot of things that could be part of your vision.

Now your job is to keep returning to them,

To keep fueling them,

All those desires.

Remember,

You don't have to justify.

You also,

In step two,

Open up to possibility.

What more is possible?

If I make my vision even better,

What would it include?

Who would it include?

And who would I be?

Let's go wild.

Let's really dream big.

Step number three,

As I told you,

Is letting go of the need to justify.

You can just stop needing to justify,

Explaining.

You don't have to.

If you've got a desire,

It is a desire.

It is a desire,

And you really don't need to justify it.

What you do need to,

In step four,

Is to take full responsibility.

So if,

In your vision,

You want to start a company,

Well,

It's over to you.

Go ahead,

Start your company.

Of course,

You don't have to do it on your own,

But please don't wait for the right conditions,

For the right person,

For the right something to come along.

That is just called procrastination.

It's being in a waiting position,

And that is exhausting.

So when I say take responsibility,

It doesn't mean anything heavy.

On the contrary,

It's full of possibility,

Because if you are the one who's going to do it,

Well,

Then you get to decide,

And you could decide to start doing it right now.

So once you've taken responsibility for all the feelings,

All the thoughts,

All the actions,

Knowing that everything is up to you,

You then relinquish control.

So that seems to be a little bit contradictory,

Right?

How can you take responsibility without needing to control?

Well,

It means if you choose to take one action towards your vision,

You're taking responsibility for it,

You're not making that action dependent on success.

You're not wanting everything you do to necessarily lead you to where it is you want to be.

Because many things in life we can't control.

We really can't.

So there's no use trying to.

So we typically can't control what other people think can do.

So if you let go of that,

And just take responsibility for what you can take responsibility for,

And let that be enough.

So if you take any action,

And you meet with failure,

Well,

That's not a reason to give up.

It doesn't mean that you did anything wrong.

What it means is that you need to revise.

You need to reconsider.

You perhaps need to tweak.

In short,

You have to evaluate.

And that is also to give up.

So powerful.

When you've met with failure,

If you look at it,

Try and find out,

Well,

What was I responsible for?

How is it that I got to here instead of here?

And you look at that with curiosity instead of with blame,

Taking responsibility for what you are responsible for,

And not blaming circumstances or other people who are outside of your control.

You're not blaming them for your failure.

That is what I mean by relinquishing control,

Letting go of that need to control.

If you're willing to let go of the need to control,

It means that you can take a lot of action because you're not demanding success.

You're saying,

Oh,

Let me try this out.

And then seeing what happens,

You're not making you taking action dependent on a certain outcome.

You're okay with any outcome because you're in charge.

You're happy to take responsibility.

But you're not attempting to control.

Does that make sense?

So today,

What can you do to create the impact you desire?

Think back to what you thought about with your relationships,

Your work,

Your health.

Is there any one thing you can do today that would support that vision?

Maybe you can think of a lot of things,

But ideally,

You would take one area,

Let's say relationships,

And then you would choose one action you could take today that would support that vision of yours.

And then you would keep taking that action every day,

Perhaps for weeks,

Perhaps for months,

Till it becomes second nature,

Till it becomes you.

That is who you are.

And then you move on to another one,

Another area,

The same area,

A different action.

That's really how you create change.

It's keeping taking one action till it becomes habit,

Till it becomes you.

Also think about how you can take responsibility for it.

For your relationships,

For your work,

For your health,

For everything in your life.

You could be responsible,

For instance,

For how much rest you get.

So it's not because your boss overworks you,

Right,

That you can't live your vision,

Because you're responsible for how much rest you get.

You're responsible for all of it,

So you can take charge.

And that's such a good thing to know.

If I was willing to take responsibility for all of it,

What would that look like?

Where would I start?

What would I do?

Feel free to get in touch to tell me what came up for you.

I'd love to be inspired.

If you want to write and tell me your vision,

I'd be very honoured to receive it.

So please do.

My five steps are nurture desire,

Open up to possibility,

Letting go of the need to justify,

Taking responsibility,

And relinquishing control.

You can do this.

I know you can.

Take care.

Bye for now.