Welcome to my three-step process to stealing negative self-talk.
My name is Katrina Horne and I'm a Hall of Life coach.
I help my clients get really clear on what it is they want and when they're ready take action towards it.
And one of the things that gets in the way of you getting what you want is negative self-talk.
So let's take a look at it.
Step one of my three-step process is first of all to notice it.
So we interrupt it by noticing it.
You may have a permanent negative self-talk going on in your mind that you've got so used to hearing that you're not even really aware of what it's telling you and you interrupt it by noticing it and then writing down what it is it's telling you.
So when you write it down you have to be ultra clear on exactly what it is saying.
So examples could be it's telling you that you can't do this you always get it wrong or it could be telling you you can't be trusted with money for instance or it could be telling you you're too fat or it could be a little bit more subtle like oh you can't make more money till you have fill in the blank or you can't really meet the love of your life because blah blah blah.
So just be on to it don't get defensive with it just notice it and then leave it there.
Write it down and leave it there that's all.
In step number two you ask it what are you trying to protect me from?
Your subconscious who's speaking to you via your negative self-talk is trying to keep you safe.
It wants you to survive.
It has no ambition over above keeping you alive.
It has been very very successful at that because if you're listening to this you are alive.
So your subconscious may be believing that it's doing a great job in keeping you alive but you might have another ambition you might want to be thriving instead of just surviving and if you suddenly started telling yourself that you can do this you're great with money and you've got exactly the body you're meant to have you'd be suddenly unleashed and that really doesn't feel safe to your subconscious because there is no telling what action you might take then if you have no more of that negative self-talk going on well you might be completely unlimited you might be taking action that can seem dangerous and your subconscious is thinking it might not be able to keep you safe and it might be thinking you might get hurt so your subconscious is intending well and so are you so you've really got a common interest here recognize that your subconscious is simply an immature version of you that doesn't want to take responsibility so think about what is your self-talk trying to protect you from it's not most likely trying to protect you from taking fearful action by presenting you with some fearful scenarios some possible outcomes and reminding you of how everything could go terribly wrong that's just what it does that it's it's here to protect you remember so it's just what it does so what exactly is it trying to be to protect you from often it's a feeling it might be protecting you from feeling disappointed you don't want to feel disappointed so you're very likely to hear it you're very likely to give into it but what if you could handle being a little bit disappointed now what would that change so that's what we do in step three we reassure your subconscious or you reassure your subconscious tell it i know you want to protect me from fill in the blank from feeling hurt feeling disappointed experiencing failure getting it wrong and you can tell it so do i but then tell it i've got this trust me i can handle it getting hurt being disappointed whatever won't kill us and you can really go into detail and tell it here's how we're doing it and give it an exact plan of how it is you want to proceed so all this very solid clarity and information will help it get on board with you it will sort of demystify it and it will normalize the action you want to take and the feelings you want to feel so the first mistake i see my clients do is that they want to make the negative self-talk go away but it won't so don't try to so don't try to make it go away it's a waste of effort it's frustrating and it's not going to work so instead of fighting it allow it to be there it's a little bit as if you were going on a road trip with dotty aunt mary she can come along in the back seat of your car and she can ramble away because that's just what she does if you don't try to change her if you don't listen too closely to what she's saying if you turn the music up louder you'll hardly notice her so don't allow her to give you advice for the trip don't allow her to tell you where to go or take a left turn or whatever she's dotty remember she's that immature version of you who's really afraid and who thinks they can't do stuff you don't have to get angry with her because dotty aunt mary doesn't know any better and that's okay as long as you remain firmly in the driver's seat you are deciding you are the driver so don't argue with your negative self-talk that won't change it it won't make it go away don't get defensive let it know that you've got this you're big now and you can take full responsibility so that immature version of you will always be there somewhere so you can talk gently to it it wants what's good for you only you don't agree on what's good for you so don't make it wrong allow it to be there it will always be there we all have it it will always be going on we can have less of it when we start talking back to it so that's something you can do over time you can't just in one day get rid of all of your negative negative self-talk you can still it and you can normalize it in your body so that you are free to go after exactly what it is you want i hope this was helpful let me know what you thought and if you've got any questions bye for now
