If Only Mindset Hi,
It's John here.
Thank you for joining me for another guided meditation.
In Buddhism,
Craving and aversion are the twin roots of human suffering,
Or dukkha in Pali,
Acting as two sides of the same coin of attachment.
Craving is the urge to grasp pleasurable experiences,
While aversion is the impulse to push away pain.
Both are mental habits that obstruct perceiving reality clearly,
And overcoming them through mindfulness and equanimity is essential for liberation.
A few years ago,
When I was at a 10-day silent retreat,
This message was conveyed on the first day.
On the second day,
When I found it challenging to imagine that I still had more than a week to go,
I realized that I was craving to be somewhere else,
And I had some aversion to the idea of being there for the duration.
That was an aha moment.
I had some real material to work with.
And just that realization lessened my suffering,
And I leaned into the situation.
Awareness is another key concept in mindfulness,
And from there,
We're often able to find a healthier and happier path.
It's the gateway to liberation.
In my example,
I started off with this if-only mindset,
Thinking,
If only I had not chosen to go on this retreat,
And maybe a little bit of,
If only I could wave a magic wand and have it over with.
When we recognize or become aware that these types of thoughts are permeating our minds,
They can be a wake-up call to the present moment.
But we can also bring in some kindness in steering ourselves towards that healthier way of thinking,
One that serves us.
The temptation may be to criticize ourselves for having the thought in the first place,
But we're only human,
And our patterns of thinking are sometimes etched out over years or decades.
It takes time and repetition for new ones to become the default.
Equanimity contains the element of acceptance,
And accepting our humanity and the fact that we are not perfect beings is an act of self-care.
We can see the path to this healthier way of being is wrapped up in the slow but steady practice of meditation.
When our minds wander to the past,
The future,
Or this if-only state,
It isn't that we have to return to the present moment,
It's that we get to return to the present moment.
And what a gift that present is.
Let's practice.
Close your eyes if that feels good for you and you haven't already,
Or cast them downward in a soft gaze if you prefer.
Start with a few slow,
Deliberate breaths.
The in-breath contains a bit of an upward intention,
Finding our composure and sitting posture.
The exhale is the downward,
Settling motion,
Letting go of tension or gripping in the process.
Breathing in,
We are aware we are breathing in.
Breathing out,
We are aware we are breathing out.
Choose a home base to rest your attention on.
That could be the soft,
Gentle breath at the nostrils,
In the rising and falling of the chest,
Or in the expansion and contraction of the belly.
Or you can choose another present anchor,
Like the feeling of the hands in your lap or on your knees,
Your seat where it contacts the chair or cushion,
Or maybe a sound,
Like a fan,
Or a vent,
Or distant traffic.
Settle into that gently and mindfully.
When we recognize that the mind has drifted off,
Like training a puppy,
We can steer the attention back to our intention.
You can label your thoughts if they're persistent,
And in so doing,
We're often able to let them pass on by like clouds in the sky.
Keeping the labels general helps to distance ourselves from them,
Rather than getting carried off by the stories and drama.
If there's something from the past that keeps coming up,
Try labeling it simply remembering,
Remembering,
Remembering,
And then let it pass by.
If it's something on the to-do list,
Simply planning,
Planning,
Planning,
And return to our home.
If craving,
Aversion,
Or that if-only mindset start looping,
We become aware of those thoughts and release them too.
We can address them kindly.
Thank you,
But I'm fine just now.
I'm giving myself the gift of self-care and settling in the present.
Peace is with me.
I am with peace.
Very good.
Embrace and get comfortable with this mode of being.
Welcome it in and ask it to stay a while.
We are worthy of this visitation with self-care.
Occasionally,
I hear people saying that they can't meditate because their minds are so busy.
Yet,
Most of the meditators I know have busy minds.
If we approach meditation with the goal of achieving a perfectly still mind,
We are setting ourselves up for a disappointing experience and we lose the opportunity of self-care and restoration.
It's like if only our mind wasn't so busy,
We could enjoy meditation.
In contrast,
If it wasn't for the busy mind,
We wouldn't get to experience the benefit of giving it some rest.
When we set ourselves up for success by practicing this kind attention to thoughts or no thoughts,
To the busy mind or the settled mind,
We create an environment that draws us back in.
You know you've landed when the practice calls to you.
Like a sauna of full-body warmth and respite,
Instead of thinking we have to meditate or we should meditate,
We are simply drawn to sit because of how good it feels.
We get to meditate.
And further,
We get meditation.
Good,
Huh?
Now,
With three rings of the bell,
We can gently open our eyes and return to the space we're in.
Thank you for your practice.
