Hey mama,
I see you.
You're sore,
You're tired,
You're overwhelmed.
It's all changed instantly.
It's relentless now.
You're questioning who you are,
What you are.
You have a little life to take care of.
You're so tired,
But you can't sleep when you do get the chance,
Because your mind is wired with the many,
Many thoughts,
Trying to process it all.
I see you.
People told you that your whole life was about to change,
But you couldn't have known what it would be like.
And perhaps your birth didn't go the way you'd hoped,
And you're grieving the loss of what you wanted.
You're also grieving many other things.
The loss of your former self,
The body you knew,
Your relationship as it was before,
Your independence,
Perhaps,
Your work life,
Maybe even friendships that have or are changing,
And your freedom.
Perhaps you're depending on others to nurse you,
To clean your home,
And to nurture you.
Perhaps it's difficult to let go of that control,
And surrender to being taken care of.
Birth is a great reminder that we are not in control.
And babies are a great reminder that nothing is permanent,
As they teach us every day,
With their rapid development.
Perhaps you're doing this solo,
And you've never felt more alone,
Even though you're with your baby constantly.
Perhaps you feel like no one understands.
Perhaps you're journeying with breastfeeding,
And you're confused,
Stressed,
Sore,
And even disappointed in yourself,
If it's not going as you'd imagined it would,
Or as you wanted.
Perhaps you're blaming your body.
Perhaps your little one is crying,
And you have no idea how to soothe them,
But it's what you need and want more than anything.
Perhaps you're angry with how it all turned out.
At others.
Even at yourself.
Maybe you can't believe how you got here.
I see you,
I know,
And it's okay.
Maybe every day,
With this extreme range of emotions,
Feels just too much for you to bear.
You may be cycling through joy,
Sadness,
Regret,
Anger,
Disappointment,
Excitement,
Despair,
Resentment,
Frustration,
Wonder,
Love,
Gratitude,
And hopelessness,
Daily.
And it's a lot.
It's okay to feel it all.
It's okay,
And it's going to be okay,
And more than okay.
You are getting stronger by the day.
You're in a little chrysalis at the moment as you transition through this period,
Soon to emerge a wonderful,
Beautiful butterfly.
There is no time limit for how long it needs to take.
You are on no timeline.
If you were to open a chrysalis and look inside,
You'd only see mush.
And that's what it might feel like you are right now.
Time has lost its meaning.
You may not want to leave the house at all.
Safe in your little cocoon,
Resting,
Healing,
Just being.
And that's okay.
There is no rush.
There's no one's timeline,
But your own.
And everything will still be there when you are ready.
The transition to motherhood is known as matrescence.
A mother has been born in you.
This is not something that can be signed off as complete within six weeks.
This transition can take years,
And it's not linear.
So give yourself grace.
Nothing is permanent.
Everything is in constant motion,
And this is passing.
You will sleep again.
You will exercise again.
You will have intimacy again.
You will have your own time for yourself again.
You will feel balanced again.
You will heal.
Your body will be miraculous in its healing and show you that you are a powerful being.
You are capable of this.
You are not alone.
You are connected to millions of other women across the world right now who know this struggle and who resonate with you,
Who are ready to listen to your story to help you heal.
So tell your story.
Feel your emotions.
Give yourself grace.
This is beautiful despite its challenge.
Perhaps you see it as beautiful in its challenge.
Either way it is passing and will be transformed into another experience before you know it.
So come back to the now.
In our minds we suffer the most when we are caught in thinking of the past or negatively imagining the future.
If you can lean into the present moment and embrace it in all its sensation,
Even if it hurts,
Without attaching a story to it,
You will be able to witness it as it changes and passes.
You will notice its transient nature and see how without narrative it is just sensation.
Pain is just sensations in transition.
I laboured for 4 days without any pain relief,
Just breathing into the contractions and being as present as possible with the pain and embracing how it would begin,
Build,
Peak and subside.
I hated that it wouldn't stop until it was going to stop and that it was out of my control.
But I soon learnt there was no other way but to accept the pain as it kept coming relentlessly and completely out of my control.
Meditation taught me the gift of self-observation without judgement.
You can do this.
We are constantly in process.
You are stronger than you think.
Lots of love to you Mama.
