Support For Sensitive Women With Intrusive Thoughts

Intrusive thoughts don't ever make you bad or wrong, regardless of the thought; thoughts are not facts, they are just thoughts. They become sticky due to Unknown Fears in the Energy system, Inherited Fears, Possible PTSD, Fear of Abandonment, Collective Judgements, and so on. Thoughts are not the same as intention or behavior. They are just mental signals that there are fears or judgments to take care of.
Please know that you will free yourself, and the pain will pass.

Transcript

Hello,

My name is Beatriz and I'm a Family Consolations Facilitator and today's topic is what causes intrusive thoughts and how to release the emotional charge of them.

What causes them to be so sticky and overwhelming?

And this is because parts of us as sensitive beings,

Especially highly sensitive people,

A highly sensitive nervous system,

Parts of them are in survival.

So when parts of us are in survival,

Does it make sense that fears get triggered and the more that we try to use logic and logicalize them,

The more intense they get.

And this is because we can't logicalize fears.

Fears can be inherited,

Tend to be inherited in the lineage.

They tend to be collective.

They tend to be also paired with judgment,

Collective judgment,

Taboos,

Things that have been labeled as bad,

As wrong.

So if we get a thought,

So first of all,

Thought is not a fact.

A thought is a thought.

It does not mean that you will act on it,

That you're more likely to act on it or anything like that.

It doesn't mean that you're bad or wrong for having that thought.

It's just a thought.

And the more that we try to control it by,

Let's say,

Just shoving it down and try to distract our mind with something else,

The more intense they tend to get,

Especially,

Once again,

As highly sensitive women.

And this is because there is a reason,

There is wisdom in that thought.

And the more that we call it intrusive,

The more that it tends to get more intense.

And this is because calling it intrusive is saying that we don't want it,

Right?

And we want to shove it away.

It's intrusive to my space.

It's stressing me out.

Okay.

If we accept the thought,

It doesn't mean that we're accepting the thought as our truth.

Not at all.

This is very important.

It just means that we're accepting that it's there,

Right?

And it's important to know that it does not mean anything about us,

Does not mean that something bad will happen.

It does not mean that you're wrong or you're bad or anything like that,

Or the other person is bad or wrong,

Not at all,

Regardless of what the thought is saying or what your mind is saying,

Because the mind tends to create a story from it because it doesn't feel safe with uncertainty,

Right?

So therefore,

The mind tends to create,

Especially those parts that are in survival,

The mind prefers to create a scary story about it and tie meaning,

A meaning that is painful to do that,

The mind prefers to do that,

Right?

The survival mind,

Rather than just sitting in uncertainty,

Right?

And for instance,

Let's say not as a distraction,

But like doing something else,

Right?

Like okay,

I'm feeling the discomfort and I'm going to go do something else,

And I'm not talking about doing something else as watching TV or the phone,

Because this can get worse,

Like the stickiness and the overwhelm,

Right?

I'm talking about doing things with your hands,

Like for instance,

Arts and crafts or things that are more meaningful to you than swiping on the phone or watching TV,

Especially because TV has shows that can trigger these things more,

And yeah,

So it's important to realize that the more that you engage in activities that make you feel good,

Let's say sports,

Something that really,

That you enjoy,

For instance,

Once again,

Arts and crafts or making something with your hands or because you're connecting to your body,

Which is once again not the same as watching TV,

Or yeah,

These kinds of things tend to overwhelm the mind more.

This is one of the reasons why I do not watch TV since I was little.

There's a lot of stuff in TV that is not helpful,

And as highly sensitive beings,

This is definitely detrimental,

Can be,

Unless it's like a light show.

Other than that,

There's a lot of drama,

And this can trigger a highly sensitive nervous system even more,

Especially if the person is going through these kinds of situations and there's parts of them in survival still,

It's important to consider activities that make them feel well,

Sports,

Things that they can do outdoors,

Nature,

These kinds of things that they can use their hands,

And yeah,

Like even things that have to do with scent can also help calm the nervous system.

So with that being said,

It's important to learn to sit with uncertainty and breathe through it,

Right?

There is a very helpful breathing also that is very simple,

And when these emotions come up,

Just connecting with the body as in just sitting with the discomfort and breathing,

Remembering that this does not mean anything about you,

Does not mean that you're bad,

Does not mean in any way regardless of the thought that you're bad or wrong,

First of all,

And then when you sit with yourself with a discomfort and let yourself feel what you feel and just try to sense where do you feel the discomfort in your body,

It can be in your belly,

It can be in your neck,

It can be in any part of your body,

And you can stay there and breathe deeply and imagine a white light in this space,

Like breathing and imagining a white light expanding from that part of your body to the rest of your body and even around you and protecting you and keeping you safe.

The more that you do this practice,

And even if you don't consider yourself good at visualizing,

It doesn't matter,

Just feel it however you feel it,

This right light,

And sit with it.

Also,

Another practice that is very helpful,

I consider very helpful,

Is journaling.

When you journal,

Even a paragraph of three sentences,

If it feels overwhelming at first,

You can just start with small steps.

This is very important to start with small steps so you prevent the nervous system getting overwhelmed.

So,

For instance,

Writing,

Let's say,

Two sentences,

Three sentences,

A paragraph daily or every other day to just become aware of the fears.

Become aware of what are the fears,

Which the fears are fears,

They can be inherited,

They can be collective fears,

They can be collective judgments.

This does not mean that in any way this will happen or could happen,

These are fears.

It's important to,

First of all,

Journal.

And the breathing and the visualizing that I described,

Which is very simple,

Also can be helpful because you can do it wherever you are.

And also,

When you identify your emotions,

This is why I recommend journaling,

When you identify your emotions and you say,

For instance,

I feel fear.

I feel fear of abandonment,

I feel fear of being bad,

I feel whatever that you feel,

Right?

Writing it down,

Identifying it,

I feel shame,

For instance,

Because these thoughts definitely bring shame up to the surface.

So you can put your hand in your heart and close your eyes and breathe through your belly and tell yourself,

As a form of self-compassion,

I'm sorry that you feel shame.

I'm so sorry.

It's that simple.

And just stay there.

If it's fear,

All come down to fear,

Okay?

And if it's fear,

I'm so sorry that you feel fear,

I'm so sorry that this is painful to you.

Just speaking to yourself in these ways can really go a long way and help you ground yourself.

Because what we're dealing with here is uncertainty,

Right?

And the collective fear is abandonment,

Being criticized,

Just the imagination of being criticized and the fact that there is not enough safe spaces that really understand this kind of thing.

And people that we can express to and receive that kind of support in a non-judgmental way,

Right?

Because there is a lot of prejudices out there.

So this is why people tend to keep it bottled in,

Which tends to be detrimental.

Because the more that we treat this as a taboo,

The more that people fall into depression.

So it's actually very detrimental for society.

And a lot of teenagers and people in their 20s and adult ages actually are struggling with this in silence.

I can't imagine how painful this is.

So if this is you,

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

And know that there are solutions.

And just by listening to this audio,

It means that you're taking steps for it.

You're taking the first step,

Which is very significant.

So I'm already happy for you.

Okay,

So sometimes these fears are prejudices that mean nothing about the identity of the person.

They're just fears that have been inherited in the lineage,

Right?

And the person cannot make,

They try to logicalize it because we've been taught to logicalize things and they get more repetitive,

More sticky and more overwhelming.

And it's because we're not dealing with the emotional charge.

If we,

Once again,

Do the practice that I said of self-compassion,

I'm so sorry that you're feeling shame to yourself.

Just closing your eyes and being present in that moment.

I'm so sorry that you feel shame.

I'm so sorry that you're tying meaning to it.

I'm so sorry.

Because the mind,

Once again,

The survival parts of us,

Of our mind,

Create stories to seek certainty,

Right?

Because the mind would rather imagine a worst case scenario,

Once again,

Than to be in uncertainty and just sit with the emotion because it's so uncomfortable,

Right?

Because the uncertainty scares us.

The survival parts try to create stories and make up stories of the thoughts that come up.

So it's important.

Once again,

These thoughts mean nothing about you.

You are a wonderful human being.

You are a good person with a good heart and regardless of your thoughts,

It means nothing wrong with you.

Nothing bad.

And this is very important for you to remember.

Thoughts are not facts,

Okay?

So every time that these come up,

It's important for you to remember this.

And as much as you need to listen to this audio,

Please do.

I'm also gonna keep talking about this because I feel like this is very taboo and very few people are talking about it,

Right?

Because there's so much fear around it.

There's so much fear and ignorance around it.

So and sometimes intrusive thoughts are,

Let's say,

If you are struggling with not being able to sleep well at night and tossing and turning,

Sometimes this is a result of feeling emotionally invalidated and also being,

In some cases,

Being constantly exposed to narcissistic ways,

Especially if someone had a narcissistic parent,

Right,

Or a narcissistic caregiver and was exposed to these narcissistic tendencies for many years and they haven't felt seen or heard,

Right?

So when this happens,

People tend to doubt what they feel,

Right?

What's going on?

They doubt themselves because they've been exposed to narcissism for so long and emotionally invalidated for so long that they don't trust themselves.

So in this process,

You will start trusting yourself more and more.

And also,

When someone doesn't have integrity out there,

Whoever it is,

With you or is being sneaky,

That can trigger fears in us and doubts and even intrusive thoughts that lead to not being able to sleep at night,

Once again tossing and turning,

Being in doubt and in worry,

Especially if we don't trust our intuition just yet and just go by logic,

Right?

Does it make sense?

Why am I feeling like this?

Why is this thought sticking?

Well,

Either you felt invalidated by the person,

There's something that you don't have the clarity yet to see,

Let's say,

In an interaction with someone,

Maybe with a boss,

Maybe with someone in your life,

Whoever it is,

And you're doubting yourself,

You're feeling shame.

So all of this is part of the process.

It's not wrong.

It's not bad.

All of these feelings are part of life.

And the more that you learn to validate yourself through what I said,

I'm gonna repeat it again,

I'm so sorry that you feel worried.

I'm so sorry you feel fear.

Make it as simple as possible.

I'm so sorry that you're worried,

That you feel shame.

I'm so sorry this is difficult for you.

And that can help you as you validate your own self,

Even if you don't yet have the clarity,

It'll come,

Right?

Because the reason why many times that overwhelm,

When the overwhelm comes up,

It's more difficult for us to trust ourselves.

So in many cases,

Most cases,

We just need to wait and validate ourselves like I just described,

Like I just mentioned,

And yeah,

And just wait,

Right?

And breathe.

Sometimes that tendency,

Most of the time actually,

That tendency to seek certainty now is what keeps us in the loop,

Right?

Trying to control things.

And sometimes it's about waiting and just letting go and not knowing,

Right?

And then the clarity comes when we're ready to receive it.

So I feel like this is crucial to remember,

Right?

Especially because we lack patience and it's like,

Okay,

Why am I having these thoughts?

I can't sleep.

They're triggering in my mind.

Once again,

There's many cases and,

You know,

It can be feeling invalidated because that's painful actually.

Feeling that someone did not have integrity with us and we don't know why yet and we don't have the clarity yet.

Don't worry.

It'll come up at some points,

Right?

Sooner or later,

It'll come up,

That clarity.

The first,

What we need to do is to learn to sit with uncertainty and,

Yeah,

And breathe through it.

And,

Yeah,

And what I mean when I say move on with life is engaging in these activities that help reduce the stress level,

Right?

Instead of staying in the loop,

Trying to find certainty and trying to control the situation,

Which is our natural way of surviving,

Is trying to,

You know,

Chasing certainty.

Chasing wanting to know.

And sometimes what we need to do many times is just let go,

Okay?

So remember the activities,

Activities that are outdoors or simply activities or meditation that are not,

That can't worsen these survival parts and the stress and elevate the cortisol.

Like TV shows,

Like scrolling on the phone,

These kinds of things.

So there is an amount of willpower that is important in this process to remember and just to bring ourselves back to the present moment by engaging in things that are good for us,

Right?

Not to say that you can't watch,

You know,

That's not what I'm saying.

TV once in a while,

A light show.

Although highly sensitive nervous systems really need to be aware of these things.

So they commit to their well-being,

Right?

So all of this goes to trusting,

Learning to trust our intuition and just know that compassion,

Self-compassion is the way.

The more self-compassion that you apply,

That you practice,

The more that you will release that shame.

Because when you recognize the shame in yourself,

Right,

When you recognize it,

When you identify it,

Recognize it and give it self-compassion,

It's huge.

You're self-validating and you will feel more grounded with time.

This requires patience.

This requires knowing that regardless of the thought that you're having,

This does not mean that you're a bad person,

Does not mean at all whatsoever that you're more likely to act on it,

Does not mean that you're bad or wrong or anything like that.

And it is important to be wise about it because many people in the way of what I mean is expressing who do we express it to because a lot of people are not aware of this and they have their own fears.

And unless they are grounded in themselves and,

You know,

They're a safe space,

Then it's best to just wait and find someone that can really hold space for us or a group that can really hold space for us and help us,

Right?

Help us and support us so we can transcend those fears and evolve from it.

Thank you for listening and I'm sending you a warm hug.

Reviews

Beatriz, you popped up just when I needed you… Will be relistening to your wisdom especially about how our sensitive souls have to have self compassion… (which seems to be everything💞). Gentle Hugs back to you💐🩵🙏🏻