Hello my name is Beatrice and I am a bench eating facilitator with a history of bench eating and I have recovered from bench eating.
I have healed from this so-called disorder and this has been healed by unresolving my emotional pain,
Healing my inner child and committing to this process.
So the topic of today is food addiction and how to heal from food addiction,
What to consider.
Well the first thing is it's not really about the food even though food has different factors that make it easier for us to feel addicted to them like amounts of sugar,
Kinds of sugar,
Sugar in general and there is another factor that is the unresolved pain which is the most important because we numb our pain through bench eating and most of the time it's not about enjoying the food with binge eaters because binge eaters don't enjoy the food.
Why?
Because all these unresolved emotions are in the surface when a binge is happening therefore the binge eater is not able to enjoy and be present with the meal so the reason that binges may happen with food that they don't even like is because the focus is trying to numb the pain,
The unresolved pain,
Conscious or subconscious.
So this is the attempt,
This is what we are attempting to do when binges happen.
This is nothing to be ashamed about and at the same time a lot of shame comes to the surface so this is why it's so important for us to focus on the unresolved pain,
On the moments that we don't feel safe enough to set boundaries and this is where family consolations comes in.
Family consolations is one way of healing the inner child,
One very effective way and this is also a kind of therapy that I focus on and I help my clients with is healing their inner child.
When we heal our inner child then that's when we're able to emotionally mature enough to feel safe in our bodies,
To set the boundaries that we need to set in order to have healthy relationships,
To have healthy relationships in general with our family members,
With our partner,
With people we work with etc etc and everything's connected really.
So when we come down to how to start,
Where can we start because there's so much information right?
So we can start by meditations like short meditations focused on the inner child and just having a picture of the inner child,
Of our inner child in a room and imagining ourselves hugging the inner child,
Writing a letter to the inner child,
That's a very effective way of starting out if you're wondering where to start.
As important as inner child healing is it is also very important for us to become aware as women of our pleasure center which is the sacred center or the sacred chakra,
However you want to call it,
That orange center.
When we become aware of more sources of pleasure other than food then that can really help us to bring the focus to other sources of pleasure other than food once again because as important as it is to for us to enjoy our food,
To connect to that moment and to ground ourselves as much as possible with like perhaps breathing exercises right before like a short breathing exercise right before your meal or perhaps also moving away all electronics and distractions and being present with your meal and with a person that you have in front of you or by yourself,
Whatever it is right?
It is very important for us to be present with our meal and at the same time reminding yourself that when you're done with your meal you have other sources of pleasure right?
This is very important,
It is very important to recognize this,
That way we don't cling to the food thinking or feeling that it is going to be the only source of pleasure that we're going to have that day.
So then it would make sense that we were we would cling on that,
We would become attached and I know that this is not an easy thing and it's just at the same time it's so worth it and it's a gradual process.
It is best to find support resources like for example group support,
Finding a group that you feel comfortable with and letting yourself receive support that may be in person,
That may be online,
However you feel the most comfortable,
Find that place.
As important as it is to feel supported in this healing journey,
To be able to heal,
It is equally as important to find spaces,
Relationships,
Groups,
Whatever works for you where you feel safer expressing your authentic self and I say safer because this is a gradual process that is not linear and we're learning to feel safe setting boundaries,
We're learning to feel safe being ourselves,
Our authentic selves and with that being said it is important to learn to tell when someone is open to grow,
Open to be vulnerable,
To listen to you,
To hold space for you from someone that is not necessarily in that same I would say intention,
That they're not ready or they're not open,
Whatever it is,
Right?
Because when we express our vulnerability,
Especially starting out,
It is very important,
Always actually,
To feel safe expressing our authentic self.
So with that being said,
Once again,
When you start feeling safer expressing your authentic self,
You start healing from binge eating because binge eating is actually a way,
One of so many ways of coping and pushing our emotions down so that we don't feel the intensity of it,
So we don't feel the pain that we all hold and we all carry around.
So this is why it's so important.
The reason why we binge is because we have been suppressing our authentic self,
Suppressing our needs,
Right?
Our voice,
Who we are,
Our essence.
So this is why it's so important to find safe spaces to express.
It's not just about expressing and being vulnerable.
It's where and with who are you being vulnerable with because that has a huge impact on your healing process.
So I wanted to share that and also remind you that this is not a linear process and I say it again and again for a reason because a lot of shame comes up when we are in our healing process and a binge happens,
For instance.
A lot of shame can come up and that is also part of the process because we have been holding on to so much emotion for so long,
Right?
That this is not something that will heal from one day to another.
This takes time and that time may look differently for each person and that's okay.
It's perfectly okay.
There is another important factor that is important for me to mention and this is feeling a lack of purpose.
It is very connected to binge eating,
To food addiction,
And to the pain that we carry around.
And this is also linked to the way that we were educated in schools,
The way that school systems squished our creativity down in many ways and had us,
Most of us,
Locked in a classroom away from sunlight,
Etc.
Etc.
So when we understand the influences of,
You know,
Growing up in this system,
In this,
These kinds of conventional school systems,
We understand that this also plays a part in feeling a lack of purpose,
A lack of creativity,
Because unfortunately these systems are designed to do that,
Right?
They're detrimental to our creativity.
So it is on us,
Right,
Our responsibility to start unraveling our fears,
Our limiting beliefs,
To get to know who we are so we can connect to our purpose,
To deeply understand ourselves.
When we ask our souls,
What does my soul,
What makes my soul happy?
Like,
What turns my soul on fire?
Like,
Yeah,
That feeling of purpose,
Of joy,
What is it?
And keep asking that over and over again,
Right?
And asking for signs and feeling,
You know,
Cultivating that faith,
Because they don't tell us that faith is something to be cultivated.
And working on our fears,
On our limiting beliefs,
Understanding what we've been believing,
What limiting beliefs we have been holding on to,
Etc.
Etc.
So when we start working on ourselves,
When we start focusing on our growth,
On our spiritual growth,
Then we become,
We get closer to our purpose.
Once again,
This may look differently for everyone,
Doesn't look,
Have to look a specific way.
And at the same time,
A lot of people,
When they go through a spiritual awakening,
When they go through a difficult circumstance in life,
Whatever it is,
They tend to turn their pain into empowerment,
Into purpose in life,
And help other people,
And serve the collective.
So this has a lot of value,
And this is a process,
Because it does take investment.
It does take investment of our time,
Investment of our energy,
Investment of money,
Which is like in another energy exchange.
So when we understand this,
And we focus,
Right?
We focus on that vision.
At the beginning,
It's not necessarily going to feel like we have the clarity that we want,
And that's okay,
That's normal,
That's part of the process.
When we start unwinding our fears,
Letting ourselves feel supported,
And unwinding our fears through that process,
Understanding our limiting beliefs,
And how they've,
In a way,
Led us to the circumstances that we've been through,
Right?
In different areas of our lives.
Understanding deeply,
And then working on releasing those limiting beliefs,
On releasing those fears,
Feeling safer with our vision,
If that makes sense,
And moving forward.
Because we tend to think everything through,
And all of this is connected to the healing of binge eating,
Because binge eating is an addiction,
Is one form of addiction,
Food addiction,
And what it is,
Is us numbing our pain,
Pushing,
Shoving it down,
Which is understandable,
Because highly sensitive people,
Right?
Like me,
And like probably you,
Because a lot of people that,
A lot of women,
I'm speaking to women specifically,
That have binge eating,
Are highly sensitive.
So when I say highly sensitive,
Also their taste buds,
Our taste buds,
Are highly sensitive too.
So as we feel everything,
We also feel the taste of the food even more intensely.
So we may use that,
In certain points of our lives,
To numb the pain,
Right?
And when we find enough support,
Techniques,
And ways to feel our pain,
Right?
Like learning to feel our pain,
Learning to move through it with more ease,
Then we're able to transcend.
When I say transcending,
What I mean is evolving.
Evolving as human beings,
And taking one step at a time,
Because when we try to take big steps,
Then the nervous system is not gonna feel safe.
It's important to take small steps,
One step at a time,
One day at a time,
And at the same time,
Doing it in a way,
And with people,
Around people,
That feel safe to you,
To your nervous system.
Relationships,
Therapists,
Coaches,
Facilitators,
You name it.
Whoever you choose.
It is very important to try our best,
Right?
Especially when starting out,
To take smaller steps,
Moving at your own pace,
And this will lead you to trust yourself more,
Right?
Instead of,
You know,
Setting these unrealistic goals for ourselves,
Which we,
By the way,
We've been programmed to set all these big goals in January.
And the whole idea here is to actually set small goals for ourselves,
Intentions,
I would say,
And taking it at your own rhythm that feels comfortable for you.
Because we're moving from survival to living,
And feeling safe in our body.
From surviving to living.
So once again,
Take it slowly,
Move gradually,
And be gentle with yourself.
I suggest to start with one or two intentions a day,
And very simple intentions,
Like perhaps a juice,
Or something that grounds you,
A ritual,
And committing to that on a daily basis.
And you will eventually feel the shift in your energy,
And therefore regulate your nervous system enough to feel more motivated.
This is a process,
And it's gonna take the time that it takes for each person.
So it's more important than ever for us highly sensitive women to treat ourselves kindly.
To be patient with ourselves,
And understanding of what we've been through,
And how that has affected us,
And what we're going through.
Because this will lead to us feeling more compassion with ourselves,
Right?
More understanding of ourselves,
And who we are.
To wrap up this episode,
I invite you,
I encourage you to write down on your journal,
What are the takeaways that you take on from this episode,
From this first binge eating episode.
And by the way,
I encourage you to have a journal,
And write your feelings around food,
A food journal.
And this will definitely help in connecting the dots,
Which is essential in this healing from binge eating disorder.
Thank you for being here today,
And we hope this helps.
