Develop Self Compassion As A Highly Sensitive Woman

Learn to honor yourself as a woman, and as a woman with ADHD, or Highly sensitive in a world that isn't honoring of women and our female hormones and how these affect us in so many ways. It is not a label, it is indeed empowering to know ourselves so well and cultivate compassion.
The Trauma stems from living in a Society that is mostly disconnected from themselves, and therefore to other's people's sensitivities and feelings.

Transcript

Hello,

My name is Beatriz and I'm a family consolations facilitator and a quantum therapist.

And today I wanted to speak specifically about women that are really hard on themselves.

Specifically when they are forgetful,

When they forget things,

When they feel specific emotions,

They're really hard on themselves because they were taught and embodied that it was not okay to feel these uncomfortable emotions and you would have to just snap them away and kind of like pretend that they're not there.

So this is not possible for someone that is neurodivergent.

Someone's highly sensitive.

It's not like a neurotypical brain.

So this is very important to acknowledge because that way you learn to be less hard on yourself and you learn that it is okay to be different.

You are a very caring and loving person,

Right?

And when you forget something,

You forget a date,

You forget to answer a message or messages and time goes by,

It's very important for you to understand that as a highly sensitive woman or maybe you have been diagnosed with ADHD or you think you have ADHD or you're just consider yourself forgetful,

Right?

It's very important to understand that this is not your fault and that being hard on yourself was something that someone taught you or society taught you and once again,

This is not your fault.

It has never ever been your fault.

This is a trauma response,

Right?

So when you pause,

Instead of being hard on yourself which is like the usual common pattern and you pause and you start repeating the following sentences to yourself which are very simple.

They're self-compassion sentences that can really,

Really have an impact,

A positive impact in your emotional health and even in your physical health.

It's very,

Very powerful.

You can just place your hand on your heart and close your eyes and repeat to yourself,

I'm so sorry you feel shame.

I'm so sorry you're being hard on yourself.

I'm so sorry that you're having a hard time.

I'm so sorry you feel guilt for not meeting people's expectations.

I'm so sorry that you're feeling shame.

I'm so sorry that you're feeling guilty and this is so hard for you,

Etc.

,

Etc.

You can just write it on a journal.

That can help a lot.

And for instance,

If you forgot to answer someone,

You forgot a date,

You made a mistake,

Whatever it is,

It's very important to pause and yes,

If we affected someone else,

Apologizing is important and at the same time,

You don't have to pair the apology with being hard on yourself and beating yourself up because that will not help.

That is self-abandonment and that will not help in any way.

It's detrimental,

It's going to increase the shame which will hurt your health and your well-being and you don't deserve that.

It's not your fault because forgetfulness and overwhelm comes from a highly sensitive system,

Someone that is highly sensitive.

It's not their fault.

It's not people's fault.

They process differently.

Their brain processes very differently from other people's brains.

So when you acknowledge this and you remind yourself of this on a daily basis,

You are going to be naturally much easier on yourself when you forget something or when you make a mistake which is very human.

You're going to start releasing the need of perfection which is also a pattern that is passed by generations.

So when you pause and you start offering yourself self-compassion just like I mentioned before,

It's going to really transform your life.

You're going to feel relief in your heart and it's important to practice it on a daily basis.

So if you wake up and you feel overwhelmed,

It's very important to write on your journal and write a to-do list,

Not even to-do,

Don't even write to-do,

Just a list as brief as you can of things that you want to do that day realistically and also keep in mind the energy levels that you have that day because highly sensitive women have a limited amount depending on each day on what they're going through emotionally,

What they're going through physically,

Etc.

,

Etc.

It's all connected.

So write that list while you honor yourself and your energy and if you can just do one thing for instance,

One thing that feels good to you.

It's very important to start with the things that feel good to you.

A short meditation practice,

I don't know,

Two minutes,

Three minutes,

Whatever you feel best with or some movement or just walking five minutes,

Whatever it is and you just place a check mark,

You release dopamine in your brain.

When you do that,

It helps you with serotonin and it makes you feel better for that day because we have a tendency to be already really hard on ourselves as soon as we wake up some days more than others.

It also depends on hormones.

I'm not an expert on hormones.

I'm just going to say that hormones have a huge impact on our emotional health,

On our physical health.

It's all connected.

So some days,

Depending on our cycle,

Where we're at,

We're going to feel differently and this is okay.

So once again,

It's very important to acknowledge this,

To be aware that it's okay to feel exactly how you feel right now in this now moment.

It's okay.

And when you feel uncomfortable,

When you're being hard on yourself,

It's not your fault.

This is a program.

It's not your fault.

It's important for you to receive this,

To integrate this in your heart.

So setting boundaries is another very important aspect of this and this comes with self-compassion.

Right?

When you feel that you didn't meet someone else's expectation,

Consider that first,

First honor yourself.

How are you feeling that day?

Right?

How are your energy levels?

What are others expecting of you?

Is it your responsibility?

Right?

It's important to first honor yourself and consider how you feel that day when someone is asking a lot of you and you're feeling overwhelmed and just down that day.

It's very important for you to honor yourself and express to them and if they're conscious and they're caring of you,

They will understand that you can't meet their expectations that day.

Right?

So this is why it's so important to honor yourself because that's going to attract people that will honor you as well.

Even people that don't exactly honor you right now,

You can,

Some of them will be open to,

You can teach them to honor you,

Right?

And that can also have an effect on themselves and they will learn to honor themselves hopefully because this tends to happen and they can also learn,

Yeah,

To honor themselves when you honor yourself.

So I hope this makes sense.

And it's,

Once again,

Very important to pause,

To practice self-compassion,

To hug yourself,

To go and do that thing that makes you feel good.

It can be a hot shower,

It can be a short walk,

It can be a short meditation,

Something brief that doesn't feel like a homework.

It doesn't feel like work at all,

It just helps you recharge your energy so you can move forward and be happy.

So once again,

People that honor you,

When you express yourself and you say,

Today I don't have the energy,

Let's say someone calls you,

Right?

And they want to talk on the phone,

They're feeling overwhelmed.

And that day you don't have the energy and you really would like to be there with them and support them,

You can tell them,

Listen,

I don't have the energy today,

The emotional space,

I would love to hear you,

I would love to support you,

I just feel,

I don't feel well today,

Right?

Or let's say you don't want to answer the phone today and you just want to rest.

It's very important because if we don't honor ourselves and we don't pause and fill our cup,

We cannot be there for others.

It's very challenging.

And some people even develop this resentment with others and with themselves,

Starting with themselves.

So this is why it's so important to be honest with other people,

Yes,

Gentle too,

Although it's crucial to tune into the energy of the other person because some people are not caring,

Right?

And if you express yourself,

Let's say it's someone that you have considered a friend or someone that is angry in their lives and they're just frustrated and they're projecting it onto you,

It's very important to set a boundary gently and sometimes with,

Yeah,

Sometimes firmly,

Depending on the energy of the other person.

Because if you don't honor yourself,

If we don't honor ourselves first,

Then we cannot honor other people.

And when we're transparent and we're honest,

Then we can have long lasting and healthy relationships,

Right?

We are being honest with ourselves,

Which is where everything starts and then that has an effect,

A very significant effect in our relationships,

In our friendships.

They grow,

They nourish us because we're listening to ourselves instead of just shoving away our emotions and telling us,

You know,

I'm just going to snap out of this today and move on.

Yeah,

Well,

Let me tell you,

The emotion is going to stay there waiting for you to listen to it because that's how our emotions work.

It's going to wait for you to sit down and honor yourself and offer self-compassion and be gentle and fill your cup so you can then breathe and do the things that you want to do and be there with other people that you want to be with.

Support other people if you feel it in your heart,

But first filling the cup,

Self-compassion,

Listening to your heart and yeah,

Just being gentle with yourself because once again,

It's challenging already to be highly sensitive,

To be a woman.

We have a lot of hormonal changes that have a huge impact on the way that we feel on a daily basis.

So once again,

Be gentle with yourself.

It's not your fault to feel how you feel.

It does not have to make sense,

Does not have to be logical.

We need to bring ourselves back to our hearts and our bodies instead of being so much in our minds,

Which is our tendency,

Right?

So I hope that this helps.

I'm sending you lots of love and I hope you have a beautiful day.

Peace.