Hand In Hand
The average adult brain creates 70,000 thoughts each day. 40% of the time it doesn’t even enter our conscious mind. In this reflection, we're going to practice body awareness, emotional awareness, relational awareness, and our compassion. We will include a breath practice in the beginning to facilitate a shift towards parasympathetic balance and coherence. To honor LGBT+ Pride month, this reflection also includes lyrics from the song "Hand in Hand" composed by Dawn Rodgers & Tricia Walker.
Transcript
Welcome,
Friends.
Thank you for joining me for these few moments of your day.
Please begin by taking a moment to allow your body to settle into a comfortable position,
Inviting a sense of ease and relaxation throughout the body.
I'd like to begin with a question.
Did you know the average adult brain creates approximately 70,
000 thoughts each day?
95% of the input we receive is process,
Yet we remain mostly unaware.
40% of the time,
It doesn't even enter our conscious mind.
Even with our advanced sciences,
The beauty and efficiency of our design exceeds our understanding.
It does leave us vulnerable,
Though,
Those thoughts are excessively and repeatedly harmful.
I'd ask you to please close your eyes if that feels comfortable.
If you choose to leave your eyes open,
Focus your attention on your feet,
And let your gaze softly rest there.
Allow me to ask another question.
Knowing this,
Are you on autopilot?
Are you paying attention?
Today,
We will practice paying attention and awareness.
You see,
Our brain is designed to seek out threats,
To keep you safe from danger,
And to protect you.
As a result,
Your brain focuses on the negative.
It seeks out what's wrong instead of what's right.
It holds on to negative events and feelings more than positive ones.
It tells you that if you were just this or just that,
If you could try a little harder,
If only this could happen,
Or if only that didn't happen,
Then things would be better.
It's a good thing you're not your brain.
Your spirit is designed to love,
To create,
And to share.
Sometimes we get distracted and we forget the goal is love.
Our home is love.
Our aim for the next few moments is to remember this goal and to counteract our natural tendency toward the negative.
Our answer is become more aware on loving compassion and our unity.
For example,
We've learned from brain scans that giving or receiving compassion can make us healthier and happier.
We've also learned this takes intention and effort,
Which is why we need to practice.
The same way you learn to brush your teeth,
You can learn to improve your relaxation response.
It's already there pre-wired inside you and there are little things you can build into your day throughout the day every day to make the load a little bit lighter.
You're doing it right now and you're doing a most excellent job,
I must say.
I am so glad you're here for today's meditation and today we're going to practice awareness.
Awareness involves noticing what's going on right now.
So you'll practice observing your surroundings,
Your body,
And your emotions.
Many people find emotional awareness the trickiest,
But because your emotions and your body are related you can use what you notice in your body to help you tune into your emotions.
If you've ever felt your stomach turn when you're nervous or your cheeks flush when you're embarrassed then you already know about this connection and today we'll explore it even more.
So let's begin.
Go ahead and check in with your posture.
Find a resting position where you feel alert,
Where you can feel the support of the surface beneath you.
Is your back straight and relaxed?
Are your shoulders relaxed too?
Let's see if you're holding on to some tension somewhere else.
Are there other areas you need to soften a little bit?
Take a long,
Deep breath.
And another.
And one more.
I'd like you to start to notice your breath,
Each inhale and each exhale.
Feel how the air flows and how your stomach or chest expands when you breathe in.
And how the air moves out when you exhale.
We'll deliberately slow our breath to allow the body to relax even further and to awaken the parts of our brain that help us stay calm,
Focused,
And aware.
Your breath controls the body when you allow it and I'd like to share a new tool with you.
We'll use a pattern of optimized autonomic respiration,
OAR.
It's the express lane to your body's happy place.
Think of it like the oar of a boat.
You can use it to steer yourself to rest anytime you want.
Our count will be in for a count of three and out for a count of six.
And today we'll complete ten cycles.
As we slow the body,
Allow your mind to walk backwards through your day.
We're digging for some gold,
Not for dirt.
So as you retrace your steps from just a few moments ago to when your day began,
Let's have a hunt in the things you saw,
In the places you went,
In the things that you did.
Can you recall an act of kindness?
This simple act will reconnect you with what brings you joy.
It will also activate the very part of the brain that we want directly engaged.
So as we breathe,
Consider counting any kind actions as you retrace your day.
I'm going to use a metronome set to a tempo of 50 beats per minute.
You'll hear it in the background.
I'll start it now.
At this tempo,
We'll begin a shift towards parasympathetic balance and coherence.
And if you're able,
And it's not uncomfortable,
Please breathe in through the mouth,
Deep into the belly,
And out through the mouth.
And we'll begin.
In two,
Three,
Out,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Five,
Six.
In two,
Three,
Out,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Five,
Six.
In,
Out.
Where were you an hour ago?
In two,
Three,
Out,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Five,
Six.
In,
Out.
Go back in your day a little further.
In two,
Three,
Out,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Five,
Six.
In two,
Three,
Out.
Did you see any animals or children today?
In two,
Three,
Out.
Did you see the sunrise or the sunset?
In two,
Three,
Out,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Five,
Six.
Last in,
Two,
Three,
Out,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Five,
Six.
Now return to a comfortable,
Relaxed breath.
I'd like to notice how still the body is and how quiet the mind.
In a research study,
Participants who counted their kind actions for a week became happier.
Welcome to the club.
Now let's continue with a body awareness exercise to help you understand how your body feels right now.
The body is always seeking to stay in balance and to heal itself.
Eating both nourishes and causes damage to our bodies.
Likewise,
Exercise strains and heals the body.
And the same is true with stress.
When your body is relaxed,
You breathe more slowly,
You have lower blood pressure,
And you feel a heightened sense of well-being.
That is change you can control.
So start by becoming aware of your head.
Just noticing how your forehead feels.
Become aware of your ears and your jaw.
Just feel without trying to change anything.
Bring your awareness to your neck and your shoulders.
Just becoming aware of how they generally feel in this moment.
Extend your awareness to your back.
Just breathing and noticing how it generally feels.
Becoming aware of your abdomen and your hips.
Down to your legs,
Your ankles,
And your feet.
Now take just a few seconds now and extend your awareness to your entire body.
Noticing how you feel right here and right now.
I'll now walk through an emotional awareness exercise.
You'll think of something that elicits an emotion and then I'll help you notice what,
If anything,
Changes in your body as you feel that emotion.
This new layer brings you a new challenge.
So you can go deep in the awareness skill even more.
So now,
Just begin to think of one small thing that makes you happy.
Maybe it's how comfortable your bed is,
Or your favorite food,
Or your favorite dining companion,
Or even sitting on the beach on vacation somewhere.
Whatever it is,
Settle on just one thing that makes you happy.
With that thought filling your mind,
Bring awareness to your body.
Has anything changed in the position of your body,
Or the sensations you feel when you think of something that makes you happy?
Is your mouth naturally forming a smile?
And notice your chest.
Maybe it feels a little lighter.
Maybe you can even feel some wave-like sensations of happiness in and around your heart.
And see how much more you can notice with your awareness.
Just a little bit longer.
Maybe you notice warmth in your cheeks.
Or maybe you notice the sensations fade.
Just a little bit of notice.
Remind yourself of whatever it is that brings you happiness.
Extend your awareness to your full body.
Maybe you notice a bit more ease in your entire body,
More relaxation.
Maybe even a bit more energy,
A sense of electricity.
Noticing this connection between your emotions and your body.
Did you notice any changes from when you first became aware of your body,
And then after when you thought of something that makes you happy?
As you remain resting,
Place one hand in the other,
The back of your hand resting in the palm of the other.
And allow your hands to connect.
Allow the mind to notice what's happening right now.
Awareness of your body helps you notice more details about yourself.
And awareness of your surroundings helps you notice more about you.
With both types,
We notice without judgment.
Our hands do so much.
Take just a moment to appreciate all they do.
We think of them all the time together.
So focus your attention on both hands together.
Now focus only on the right hand.
Is it longer?
Shorter?
Is it colder?
Warmer?
Pause for a moment and explore.
And now shift your focus to the left hand.
Focus your attention there.
Is it longer or shorter?
Is it colder or warmer?
Is it heavier or lighter?
Weave your fingers together.
Now two hands share a common function.
We use our hands to help others too.
We say give me a hand.
We offer a hand up.
A helping hand.
We hold hands with those we love and we smile when a baby grabs our finger.
We fold our hands in prayer and in our mudras.
Think of all your hands have done just today and be grateful.
Take a moment to focus our attention even more.
Explore your fingers.
The four sides.
The nail.
The nail bed.
Each hand is unique.
Let's expand our awareness.
For a moment,
Imagine your hand connecting to the hand of the person closest to you.
It could be 10 feet or 10 miles.
The distance doesn't matter.
Imagine connecting hand in hand.
With our hands connected,
We're stronger.
Hand in hand.
We'll be the strongest we can be.
If we learn to stand by those in need,
With shoulder pressed to shoulder,
We'll build a mighty wall.
And nothing in the world can make us fall if we stand hand in hand.
These lyrics are from a song Hand in Hand composed by Don Rogers and Tricia Walker in 1987.
It was arranged for a four part choral harmony by Kirby Shaw.
I learned of it singing in a gay chorus where it became an anthem for us and given its pride month,
And I record this now for so many,
I wanted to share it with you.
And as you listen,
Visualize the hands of your neighborhood joining together.
The lyrics continue,
We're in a day when we must look beyond ourselves and see into the hearts of others.
As brother looks to brother as we walk with one another,
We'll find that anyone can be a friend.
Now,
Expand your attention and your awareness.
So the hands are joined around your city.
Your whole city,
Hand in hand,
The strongest we can be.
With shoulder pressed to shoulder,
We'll build a mighty wall.
And nothing in the world can make us fall if we stand hand in hand.
Now expand your awareness to all the hands of all the people in the hemisphere that you're resting upon.
Some people say there's not a lot that we can learn,
But I know there's so much love that we're not living.
Expand the hands across the planet,
The entire globe joined by hands,
Connected by hearts.
When we see the planet,
We lose the differences of country and language,
Of age and gender.
We remember that surrounding us is all life,
Calling from every heartbeat,
Every breath,
Every action,
And every thought.
Peace fills our hearts and floods our body with the purpose of forgiveness.
All you need to save the world is already given to you.
Each heartbeat brings you peace.
Each breath infuses you with strength.
You are sustained by love,
Held forever in quiet and peace.
Hand in hand,
We'll be the strongest we can be if we learn to stand by those in need.
Shoulder to shoulder,
Pressed to shoulder,
We will build a mighty wall and nothing in the world can make us fall when we stand hand in hand.
Hand in hand,
We are one indivisible,
United in this light and one with spirit,
At peace with all creation and ourselves.
We remember the one light that shines within us all forever.
Rest here for a moment and remember our common humanity,
Our real home,
Which awaits our grand return.
This memory is hidden in our minds,
Obscured by our pointless little goals that have nothing to offer.
Do we allow the trinkets and toys of the world to shine brighter than our truth?
The only goal is love.
It's where we were born and where we will return.
We have no aim but to remember this.
Another benefit of standing together is that it fosters a sense of compassion.
We recognize that we depend on others and they on us.
Passion can take some practice so it can be easiest to start with ourselves.
So allow your focus to come back to your hands,
Resting on your body and back to my voice.
Take a few deep breaths.
One more.
And another.
We'll end our time with a self-compassion practice.
Now it may feel awkward or even silly at first,
But allow yourself to explore the idea.
Not only does compassion decrease suffering by helping those in need,
But also it can boost your bond with others.
You've done so well.
Thank you again for taking this time for self-care and thank you for joining me.
I want to return your kindness.
Allow me to take care of you.
Allow me to give you some reminders that you might need.
Simply take in my words.
Listen to my voice.
Take my messages to heart.
Keep them handy to use whenever you need.
Rest comfortably with full intention.
Repeat these affirmations after me.
And as you continue to practice,
Feel free to extend these well wishes to others.
May I accept myself for who I am right now.
May I realize that my constraints don't mean that I am more than others.
May I realize that my weaknesses don't mean that I am less than others.
May I accept my imperfections.
They don't define me or take away from who I am as a person.
May I feel and deeply know that I am enough now and that I will always be enough regardless of what happens.
May I realize that I deserve to be loved now like I deserve to be loved when I was born.
And finally,
May I treat myself the way I treat those who I care deeply for.
Now for a moment or so,
Bring your attention back to your breath.
You've completed this reflection.
You've reset the balance in your brain and you've built some new pathways to carry all those good thoughts.
It's going to be a bad day for those negative thoughts.
You've got them way outnumbered and outclassed.
It's all about keeping the balance.
Taking a nice deep breath.
And another.
One more.
And if you feel that feels right,
Slowly open your eyes.
For some,
It can feel pretty unnatural to bring awareness to your emotions.
At least the first.
So if this felt awkward or uncomfortable,
Or if you didn't pick up on any physical changes,
Just be patient.
Keep practicing.
Because when you can really understand how you're feeling and how those feelings accept your mood and reactions,
You can begin to act with more empathy and forethought when it matters.
Today's practice was just a beginning.
We can take another step next time.
As you're able,
Gently wiggle your fingers and your toes.
Move your shoulders.
Celebrate your success with a round of applause.
Clap those hands.
A quiet golf clap or a loud thunder clap.
Whatever feels best for you right now.
And when you feel ready,
Return with your eyes awake,
Full and alert.
And let's remember,
The goal is love.
