This is the self-compassion break.
One of the ways that you can respond to yourself in a moment of stress,
Difficulty.
In this way,
Deactivating the threat system,
The fight,
Flight,
Freeze that we often turn on ourselves and instead bringing online the care system,
The mammalian caregiving system,
Which will soothe,
Comfort and reassure.
So in order to learn the steps,
You can choose either to work with something that feels a little bit stressful right now or bring to mind a recent experience of a little bit of stress,
Something that feels workable with,
That won't be overwhelming.
And allow yourself to drop into the situation and recall how it feels,
How it felt in your body.
Maybe some tightening,
Contraction,
Some heat,
Some anxiety,
Maybe in the belly or around the chest.
See if you can discover where in your body the sensation of stress is most evident.
And just for now,
Allowing your experience to be just as it is,
Making just a little bit more room than usual for the experience of discomfort in your body.
Not too much,
But just enough so that you can feel it and respond to it in a different way.
You might try labelling the experience for yourself in a gentle and kind tone,
As if you are validating your experience,
Just like you might for someone you really care about,
A good friend.
Maybe you say to yourself something like,
This is uncomfortable,
This hurts,
This is stressful,
Or just ouch.
This is mindfulness,
Acknowledging how you're feeling,
Recognising what's happening,
So that you can respond with compassion.
Maybe this is mostly what you need right now,
But if you'd like to,
You could go deeper and remind yourself of common humanity.
This is the wisdom that reminds us it's part of being human to experience stress,
That what you're experiencing right now is part of the human experience.
Everybody,
One way or another,
Experiences stress and difficulty.
We all suffer,
We don't suffer equally,
But we all suffer,
It's part of being human.
So what could you say to yourself to remind yourself of connection?
Other people might feel this way too.
I'm not alone in feeling this way.
Stress,
Difficulty is part of life.
Finding your own words to remind yourself of the shared human experience,
Including yourself in the circle of humanity.
Then let's see if we can respond to this distress in a way that's mostly unfamiliar to us.
We find it so much easier to be kind and caring to others when they're in difficulty.
We're going to offer ourselves the same kindness.
Can you give yourself some kindness simply because you're having a moment of discomfort?
Not to make it go away,
But because it's hard.
If you like,
You could place a hand or both hands on the part of your body that feels the stress the most.
And as you place your hands here,
Maybe over the heart or on the solar plexus,
Stroking the side of your arm,
Maybe giving yourself a hug.
Imagine sending kindness through your fingers into that part of your body that's holding the stress for you,
Or even gently massaging that part of your body.
And consider for a moment what you would most like to hear,
Feeling the way that you do.
What words would be comforting,
Supportive?
Just what you need to hear.
Maybe it's something like,
I'm here for you.
I really care for you.
You're a good person.
I understand how you're feeling.
Or maybe simply,
Please be kind to yourself because you're feeling the way that you do.
So you might say that to somebody else that you really care about.
You could imagine making a U-turn as soon as you connect with what you might say to somebody else that you care about,
A good friend.
You can make a U-turn and offer those words to yourself,
Either addressing yourself as you or I.
Whatever feels most natural.
The kinds of words that you would say,
Maybe even including a term of endearment.
And then just for the next few moments,
Just offering yourself kindness in a way that feels just right for you.
Savouring,
Compassionate,
Touch or offering yourself words of kindness.
Just because you feel distress,
Not trying to change it or make it go away.
If it feels good,
You could continue to rest here,
Meeting yourself with kindness.
Or otherwise,
Letting go of the practice.
Just allowing yourself in this moment to feel as you do right now.
Letting the practice be just as it was and allowing yourself,
If only for this moment to be just as you are,
Feeling just like this.
You might want to finish by taking a full breath in and savouring the relief of the exhalation.
Another way that we can meet ourselves in a moment of stress with kindness.
Just savouring the soothing release of the out-breath.
And then when you're ready,
Slowly opening your eyes.
