Hello,
My name's Georgia Bazzin and this is a talk about you and everybody else's fault.
So we're brought up to believe,
Untold,
That everything that we experience is caused by
somebody else.
That when somebody says something to me,
Or somebody does something,
That my response,
My internal experience,
Is created by them.
And of course if we really think about it,
If you put somebody you loved next to somebody you hated
and they both said the same thing,
Or both did the same action,
Would your response be the same?
Because if it is the action or the words that cause your response,
You'd have exactly the same experience from both of them.
And yet,
You won't have the same experience,
Unless you start to see
that your response to anything comes from your internal narrative to anything you experience out in life.
There's a really interesting experiment.
Experiment.
So if you had your best friend phone you now,
And you had a conversation,
And then you put the phone down,
And then you had your worstest friend phone,
You had a conversation and you put the phone down,
And then 20 minutes later your best friend appeared at the door,
And you'd be thrilled to see them,
And then your worst friend appeared at the door,
And your response would be very different.
If you brought both of those people into the same room,
And you unzipped both their bodysuits,
And you heard your thoughts about what they are inside under your ideas about them,
You'd very quickly realise that actually,
Nothing I think is about them.
And once we start to really kind of get a grip of this,
You start to see that the people at work that you go,
They irritate me,
That you think is about them.
Oh,
Okay.
So what if this isn't about what they've done said?
What if it's just about the thoughts that I've harboured,
Fed,
Grown in my head about them?
And that actually,
If I looked at them,
And I saw them,
Without the attachment to the thoughts of
the ticker tape of ideas and beliefs and constructs in my head about that person,
What do I actually see?
Because when you're looking at someone through your ideas and beliefs and constructs,
Through your ideas and beliefs and constructs that your wonderful mind has created,
You're only ever going to see,
Through the filter of that,
It's like it sits in front of your eyes.
So you are never,
Ever,
Ever seeing the reality of who is below those filters of yours.
Because actually,
If it was about them,
We'd have the same experience of them all the time.
And I don't know about you,
But I've had days where people I'm not keen on,
I've really loved.
And other days where it has been like having teeth pulled out.
So how can that ever be about them?
It has to come from my internal narrative.
And my internal narrative is flexible,
Wafty,
Very unreliable.
But if I can love someone deeply in one moment and be irritated with them in the next,
I can get to choose which of those versions I look at.
Because it gives me the opportunity to question,
What is the truth of what I think?
And the minute we start to question,
Did I create this?
Is this truthful?
Or is this just a habit that I've got into the way my mind is working
when I look at people outside of me?
Then we start to have a very different experience of people.
So I'd ask you,
Someone who really irritates you tomorrow,
Take a breath,
Drop back behind your thinking.
A good way to look at it is drop behind your eyes to that space that's just inside you.
Then open your eyes and look at them again.
And see who's creating your experience.
Have a beautiful day.
Bye-bye.
