Understand Process

In the “Understand Process” talk, you learn to accept that as long as you are alive, you must keep going. You will understand that the only real beginning and the only true ending are birth and death. You will also learn to accept the different speeds that are sometimes required in life.

Transcript

There is one defined start in your life which is birth and there is one defined end in your life which is death.

Everything else is merely a process.

This means that the only thing you really need to do in your life is keep going.

There are ups and downs,

Fast or slow developments and important landmarks,

But everything,

Literally everything that happens between birth and death is just a process.

So today we are talking about accepting life as one long process.

You will try to experience life as floating in a river that is filled with beautiful moments just as much as obstacles.

Our goal is to embrace the never-ending movement that is your life and to understand what pace serves you at what times.

By understanding the concept of process you will also find it easier to never give up,

To always keep moving.

Carl Rogers said,

The good life is a process,

Not a state of being.

It is a direction,

Not a destination.

Let's learn how to live a good life today.

First of all,

I want to mention that there is a huge danger when relying on two words.

These two words being and then.

Many people I meet in my life think that once they reach a certain milestone they will be ready to create the life they really want to live.

For example,

I need to advance my career and then I will be content.

Or I need to write 5 books and then I can be proud of myself.

I need to lose 20kg and then I will love myself again.

When thinking that after a certain achievement,

Development or milestone your emotional state and overall life will change dramatically,

Then you are often fooling yourself.

The only thing that will improve your life is ongoing personal development towards maturity.

Preparation is of course not unhealthy as such,

But it is unhealthy when used as an excuse or when used as a never-ending postponement mechanism.

Be very careful of saying and then.

Now let us take this course as an example of understanding process.

If you think that just by absorbing my words your life could miraculously improve forever,

Then you are mistaken.

Everything,

Literally everything is a process and the only thing that can truly make you grow are actions and experiences.

A personal process is always at least partially active,

So make sure you are moving and hopefully even moving forwards.

Next,

I also want to mention that your ongoing development should be done at a very comfortable pace.

This is why I highly recommend taking a minimum of 3-4 days between the chapters of this course.

The process of life is not supposed to be an accumulation of sprints.

Whether you want to or not,

Your process is a never-ending marathon.

You can comfortably walk that marathon or you can choose to jog for a while.

Do things at a natural pace and observe how stable your energy levels become while others burn out.

Embrace the process and life will embrace you.

Now more to talk about the immediate effects of accepting life as a process.

When embracing this mindset,

Two things will happen immediately.

First of all,

You will be less fixated and less dependent on goals and results.

Secondly,

You will become more present and dealing with your life will become easier for you.

By the way,

It is a bit strange,

But accepting life as a process does not make you less ambitious or productive.

It's the opposite.

A process-oriented mindset allows you to achieve more because you are clear on what to do when in your life.

You're always focusing on the task at hand the most.

Next,

I want to talk about the enjoyment that comes with a process-oriented mindset.

Anything you do in your life,

Whether it is personal relationships,

Work or anything else,

Is filled with obstacles and problems that you need to work out.

If you have a process-oriented mindset,

You will experience less stress because you are not constantly thinking of the end results.

This allows you to experience pleasure even when working through problems.

Stop rushing towards creating pleasurable moments in the future.

You will be more self-aware and you will find pleasure in anything you do.

Of course,

You will still acknowledge achievements on your path,

But more important for you will be your approach towards the overall process.

The next point I want to make is that a process-oriented mindset lessens the ups and downs.

After any achievement,

Any success,

Any high,

What happens?

Very quickly after,

The feeling of joy fades.

And the next issues will have to be sorted out.

The process of life never stops.

The more you see everything happening in your life as a process,

The less extreme you will fluctuate with your emotional well-being.

You will experience stability and an overall content feeling in life.

Next,

I want to mention that a process mindset will make you more confident.

The reason for this is that you will not make your self-value dependent on potential achievements in the future.

No,

You will instead judge yourself on your overall attitude and what you are doing right now.

Now,

I would like to take a moment to talk about the importance of never giving up.

To always keep moving.

By accepting life as a process,

You are already much more likely to never break down completely,

To never fully stop.

But I do want to talk a bit more about the importance of never giving up.

First of all,

In order to never completely stop,

You need to create an environment where that is possible for you.

Two factors are important for this.

First of all,

A good amount of personal relationships you enjoy.

And secondly,

Having enough work that you don't hate.

These two,

Your personal relationships and your work,

Should be available to you,

But not overwhelm you.

So the very first step for you to be able to always keep moving is to create a private and professional environment where that is possible.

The next step is to accept that part of your current environment will not serve you forever.

Something that serves you now might not serve you next month.

You will change and you will need to change your environment to keep your needs met.

These might be small changes,

But could also be transitioning to radically different environment.

Process always means change,

And embracing change will make it easier for you to never stop moving,

To never give up.

Now,

I want to talk about the famous saying,

One day at a time.

So what actually happens when you focus on just today?

This mindset immediately simplifies life and takes away the greater pressures.

It also allows you to survive big traumatic events without losing your mind.

One day at a time is the best first aid for anything that unbalances your mind.

But what does that actually mean,

One day at a time?

Taking things one day at a time means you're focusing on what you can achieve within the current day.

And if that is merely breathing,

Cooking an egg,

Taking a shower and staring at the wall while crying,

Then that is perfectly fine for that day.

So the one day at a time mindset might not serve you for your entire life,

But it is extremely useful to keep moving in the toughest of times.

The last point I want to make today is that process and constant movement make your suffering more bearable.

You will be able to digest your suffering while you keep living your life.

You will pick your moments to dive into your emotions and suffering,

But only temporarily.

And one day you will be able to let your suffering go completely.

On the other hand,

When you allow yourself to let your suffering make you come to a complete stop,

Then it will make you lethargic and it will control you.

Your entire life will then become suffering.

And that is a very hard place to get out of.

This is why it is so important to always keep moving and to accept life for what it is.

A process.

Now we have arrived at the practical part of today.

First of all,

I would like to invite you to write down two long-term goals for your future.

Write down one big goal for something private and one big goal for your career.

They can be a month away,

A year away or ten years away.

It does not matter.

Write down two long-term goals.

Pause the course now and come back when you have done this.

Now I would like to invite you to write down two specific actions for every day of this week that will help you move towards your two goals.

One action per day for each goal.

So two actions per day in total.

Try to make every action different from each other,

Specific and easily achievable.

Write down five to seven days worth of actions,

Even when they are very obvious.

Pause the course now and come back to it when you have done so.

Now over the next few days or during this week,

Try to consciously execute the actions you wrote down for each specific day.

Try to focus the least amount possible on the big goal in the future and try to focus the most amount possible on your two actions for the specific day.

Observe how your mindset changes and how you come closer to accepting life as a process.

And please make a calendar entry now for when you will continue this course.

It can be in a couple of days or a week,

But please set a reminder now so that you will stay on your path.