Have Value

With this talk, you will understand what happens when you give without receiving. Become conscious of the fact that you are part of something good and positive, no matter what you think. The goal of the talk is for you to learn how to embrace everyone and not partake in the division of society. Being of value to other people immediately connects you with other people. And that human connection is the foundation for health and happiness.

Transcript

Imagine you walk down the street on the hottest day of the year.

You've been grocery shopping and now you're carrying your heavy shopping bags home.

It is brutally hot and you're sweating.

You're starting to become dizzy from the heat.

You stop at a crossing and wait for the light to turn green.

Next to you,

A stranger is opening his ice-cold lemonade.

Before he takes a sip,

He looks at you,

Smiles,

Gives you the lemonade and says,

You need it more than me.

The lights turn green and the stranger disappears in the masses while you drink your lemonade.

Be that stranger.

Have value.

So today we're looking at how to be of value to society and why it might be a great idea to give without receiving.

We will try and understand what actually happens to your mind when you give without receiving.

Our goal is to feel that you're part of something bigger and you will learn how to embrace others and not partake in the division of society.

Charles Dickens said,

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.

Let's find ways to lighten the burdens of others.

Now,

Unless you're a saint,

Chances are that your main motivation for most of the things you do in your life is personal gain.

The second biggest motivation is most likely taking care of your loved ones.

For example,

My main motivation for creating this course is to provide for me and my family.

Of course,

I also want to help you improve your life,

But I'm not a selfless saint and neither should I be.

You need to take care of yourself before you take care of others.

Now,

Let's have a look at how you can have value for others while still making sure you're looking after yourself first and foremost.

So,

The first step that you need to take in order to be of service to society is to challenge yourself to be of service to society as a whole.

This means some of what you give has to be available to everyone.

You're as inclusive as you can be and that has a powerful effect.

Now,

This might seem too big or complicated to you,

But it isn't.

You can offer the smallest of things in your everyday life.

Maybe you make space for an elderly person to sit on the bus,

Or you play with some children,

Or you pick apples from your apple tree and give apples to every person you come across that day.

Find ways to be of service outside of your groups.

Now,

Let us look at why being of value to society is such a great way to develop,

Grow and mature.

When being totally inclusive,

You will automatically connect to all of humanity and you will feel part of something bigger.

When walking through and exploring this world,

You will never feel alienated.

By opening up to the world,

The world will open up to you.

You will not feel that you need to navigate life inside your own groups.

You can move freely and at ease everywhere and anywhere.

You will feel at home wherever you go and you will be embraced by a lot more different people than before.

Furthermore,

You will get a feeling of self-worth and belonging.

You will find that you are a piece in the puzzle of humanity.

You are important.

You are needed.

With your energy,

Every day you push society one tiny bit in the right direction and thus you create a feeling of balance in yourself and other people.

Balanced people create balanced communities.

And balanced communities create a peaceful world.

Next,

Let us look in detail at the power of giving without receiving.

You already know that true happiness comes from human interactions and connections.

Now,

When you are giving without receiving,

You will create some of the fastest and strongest human connections possible,

Whether the giving is direct or indirect.

By the way,

Giving without receiving is the only form of giving that automatically connects you and increases your happiness.

Giving with receiving is actually a transaction.

There is nothing wrong with creating a transaction.

It might be a fair transaction,

And maybe what you give is at least as valuable as what you receive.

Yet,

It is still a transaction.

It is different from giving.

So,

When I talk about giving today,

It is always without receiving.

Now,

When you truly give,

You make someone else immediately happy because you solved a problem for that person.

And after solving a problem for someone,

Their appreciation and positive emotional reaction will immediately touch you because verbally and physically and energetically the other person will want to share their happiness with you.

So,

Let us have a look at simple and small ways that you can practice giving without receiving.

It is actually really easy.

Each of us has at least 10 minutes a day to share.

Maybe a bit less,

Maybe a bit more.

I would like to invite you now to make a conscious decision that you give away 10 minutes per day to anyone and everyone.

That is a whole lot of time to give.

In that time,

You can give someone a nod or a smile,

A compliment,

Help someone change a tire and so on.

You can give a lot without limiting yourself in 10 minutes.

Make a conscious decision now that giving is part of your daily life.

Now,

Through giving,

You do not just solve problems for others,

You also create small yet powerful moments of beauty.

A few years back,

I went for a walk along a river in Berlin and I smiled at an older woman.

She did not smile back,

Which did not really bother me.

I smile at a lot of people and I was giving without receiving anyway.

I was just passing her and did not want anything in return.

I kept on walking and 20 seconds later she tapped me on the shoulder.

She ran all the way back to catch up with me.

I took my headphones down,

She grabbed my hands and she said,

I was so in my own thoughts,

I did not realize quickly enough that you smiled at me and I just wanted to say that it was really nice.

Then without waiting for an answer,

She turned around and kept walking her way.

It was a beautiful moment and my heart was filled.

Now,

There are a few rules around true giving and I just broke one of them.

One of the rules to experience true giving is that you cannot brag about it,

Like I just did.

Immediately,

Your giving becomes way less meaningful.

In my case,

It was just a smile,

So breaking the rule will not hurt me long term.

But in general,

Do not talk about it.

Don't take a video of your giving and post it on social media.

In these cases,

You are not truly giving.

You are abusing people less fortunate than you for your own self-worth.

Please be aware that it makes a fundamental difference to your ability to develop,

Grow and mature.

Keep your giving pure and the long-term effect will show itself.

Now,

Another great side effect of giving is that you inspire the person who received whatever you gave them to also start giving without receiving.

When this happens,

Then the entire community you live in will improve because by giving,

You will have caused a chain reaction.

And even if you only inspired one person to be just 1% more friendly in the next 10 minutes of their lives,

It was worth it anyway.

You created positive energy and you most likely did that in the community you live in.

Now,

I want to talk about another two great side effects of giving.

Firstly,

It makes you grow because you have to challenge yourself.

Let me explain this a bit more.

Often when you give,

You are checking in with your own value system.

You are asking yourself,

Should I give this or can I give this?

And you are challenging yourself to make a responsible decision that will serve your life and the other person's life.

And challenging yourself is the foundation of growth.

So every time you give,

You grow,

You become more mature and thus you will become happier.

Now,

The second side effect of giving is that it humbles you.

Giving means you choose to make a sacrifice.

You could have used whatever you had for yourself,

But you chose to give it away instead.

You did not find your needs more important than someone else's,

Which immediately humbles you.

Now,

Lastly,

I want to motivate you to give away your most precious asset regularly,

Which is time.

The most valuable thing you can give is time.

No matter how rich you are,

No matter how much money you can throw out,

The most precious thing you can give anyone is your time.

And consciously or subconsciously,

That is what people appreciate the most,

Your time.

So again,

Give away 10 minutes of your time a day.

People will react with extreme gratitude when you give them your time.

On a side note,

Many of us,

Including me,

Have to improve our ability to receive as well.

Receiving without feeling the need to give back is something extremely valuable and allows for true beauty and grace.

Being able to receive shows that you are accepting yourself as valuable enough to be given something.

You think of yourself as deserving when you are able to receive.

So become conscious of your reaction whenever someone wants to give something to you.

And let us talk about today's practical exercises.

First of all,

I want you to write down three examples of what you could give to someone and what the person's reaction might be.

This could be something big or small.

It could be a favor or something materialistic.

Pause the course now and write down three examples and your observations.

Now I would like to invite you to write down three examples of what you would like to receive one day and how you would feel about it.

Again,

These could be small or big or anything else.

Pause the course now and write down your three observations.

During the next few days,

Try and give without receiving as much as you can.

Be aware of what that activity giving without receiving does to you.

Make sure you give consciously at least once per day.

And now please make a calendar entry for when you will continue this course.

It can be in a couple of days or a week,

But please set a reminder now so that you will stay on your path.