An Open Conversation About Highlighting Your Specialness

It was a pleasure to connect with SÏRÏ, who is a teacher and musician here on Insight Timer. We talked about the struggle to be seen, to understand what is special about her circumstances, and how she can embrace where she is and use it to her advantage. We talked about menopause and some of the effects that it has had on her life.

One theme in particular that I think a lot of artistic people can identify with is the fear that inspiration that isn't captured right away will be lost forever.

I'm thankful for her openness awareness curiosity and drive for a life that is fulfilling colorful and meaningful, and I'm happy to share what we talked about here.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to this episode of my podcast,

Clearing the Creative.

It's a time to really go deep into people's blocks,

Their limiting beliefs,

Whatever stopping them from the creative thing that they want to do,

And to give them some practical advice towards moving forward in content creation or whatnot.

I was really happy to talk to Siri.

She is a teacher slash musician and content creator on the app Insight Timer.

I am sure that this conversation is going to resonate with a lot of us,

Dealing with the visibility block,

The turning around the perspective of what is a bad thing and what is just a thing.

And for many,

Many people,

Menopause and the effect that that has on the psyche and the body and the perspective shift.

If this sounds like something that you would resonate with,

I'm really glad that you're here.

I really hope that you can pull some encouragement and support out of this.

Please let me know if you do.

And let's jump into this.

I'm so happy to welcome Siri to the program,

To the show today.

Can you please tell us a little bit about yourself?

Yeah,

I am living in Norway.

I'm an artist,

A composer,

A channel,

Psychic,

Call me whatever,

Mother of five.

I've been painting and drawing and playing music all my life,

As I can remember it.

I also have this very natural approach to life,

Which is I am who I am and why I change it.

So I'm looking for a place to just show off and talk about what I do,

Basically.

I love talking about art and drawing.

That's wonderful.

Yeah.

So you responded to a Facebook post that I wrote about my heart for this whole project,

Clearing the Creative.

What was it?

Because this is our first time meeting,

We've never spoken before,

Which is really exciting to see,

Like,

What am I going to get to speak into your situation?

So what was it that resounded with you with what I wrote?

I guess it was something about speaking to the programming that we get taught as children about our art,

About our creations,

About our beings,

About life in general,

Just to share my view and experiences on what to do when they surface again later in life,

As I haven't really bowed to any of them.

I have just created my way and made my own path with my art,

Despite any trials from outdoor world to control what I'm doing,

I'm just doing it my way,

Which is the way we should do life,

I think.

So I guess my whole overarching message is to just be you and do you like only you can do.

You're Zeus,

I guess,

It's just nobody's you than you.

So why hide it and why don't,

Why try to be anything else and anyone else than you are?

That's my message.

And I also wanted to talk about a door opener from art for artists when they feel like,

Like you said,

You're stuck or you need to shake off pieces of your living or something like that,

Or you need to go in another direction,

I'm the person you can talk to about that.

So I wanted to share really my insights and learnings about that.

So that's also,

Yeah,

Thank you.

And also,

I'm just in the phase of my life that I want to just jump on things and just talk about my experiences,

Which I know will help other people,

Other artists,

Other mothers,

Other menopausal ladies,

Etc,

Etc.

So I have lots of talk to talk about.

So it's the one of the main purposes for us to be here is to be here for you as well.

So do you have,

I hope you do have something in your life that is that you that you need another perspective on?

Because that's what I'm here for,

For you today.

I would love to hear your perspective on how I do things,

Basically,

Because the good thing here is,

You know nothing about me rather than the little things I said before this podcast began.

I'm a mother of five,

I've been educated a teacher,

And now I'm doing my art and my guiding slash coaching slash composing music full time.

So how does it look from the outside?

Because I'm obviously not able to look at myself from the outside.

How does it look and what might be things I need to change to get further on with what I'm doing?

The world's best kept secrets,

Like I feel I am.

So would you say that the thing that you're wanting to grow in is to be seen more and to connect with your people?

To reach out and to be visible and to come out to people and I feel that one place,

One thing that is blocking me is where I'm living because it's a small place,

It's a small community.

And right now there is a small income on my side and then my husband has to take all the big outpours of money from his wages and it's not feeling very good,

Really.

I know I'm worthy of more attention and more traction for my business and stuff like that.

But also I'm not a very salesy artist,

Say artists never are,

I'm told.

I'm here to create and how does that look from the world's perspective?

I'm just hiding myself,

I think,

How do I get out more?

All right,

So the first thing that I've got to jump on here is you live in a small town in Norway,

That is not a block,

That is exotic and exciting for people who,

Like Americans who are just are so excited about their Norwegian ancestry and long to go back to the motherland and to see their roots,

You know.

To lean into what you think is a block is really a superpower because it is unique and it is special.

People think,

Oh,

Nobody cares about my life and where I live,

It's so boring and ordinary.

When I grew up living in Utah,

I lived in basically the foothills of the mountains.

It was a short drive to the foothills of enormous mountains that were just all around.

You drive through and after it's been a few years,

You're like,

Wow,

I lived here?

I lived here where it's so beautiful?

You don't know what you've got until you go away from it,

You know?

Now I live on an island with beautiful beaches and forests and it's so magical that way.

And it's a very different kind of beauty.

But to be able to show where you live and to show how special it is,

To show the magic of it,

I happen to be in a video editor.

That's one of my secret sauce things is I compile people's footage and I tell the story and I find the perfect music and I find the mood and the feeling and I help people tell their stories and connect with their people.

Oh,

I just got this insight just now.

This is epiphany.

I have a connection in the UK and he came here to film me and to make a background movie about me.

But you can also do that in your closer.

So that feels so good.

Phones these days,

You do not need a two or let's see,

We're talking to Norwegians.

Are you probably on a are you on the euro or do you have your own money?

We have your Norwegian kroner.

Norwegian kroner,

Like we have this Swedish kroner.

You don't need a 20,

000 kroner camera or $2,

000.

You can use your phone.

Phones are amazing these days.

You can get online,

You can get a 200,

400 kroner,

That's 20 or 40 dollars.

Little tripod to just set up while you're doing dishes,

You can share what's on your heart while you're while you're gardening or organizing your office.

You can you you show what's mundane,

But you can make it magical because you are magical.

Thank you.

I guess I needed that because another view of what I do,

Because it feels like it feels like a treadmill,

You know,

Being a mother of five,

You have to do this same thing over and over and over and be there for everyone else.

And then I put myself last,

But I don't want to do that.

So now my children are from 14 to 25 and they're grown ups and they can manage on their own.

I have full time and attention on myself.

So this is so valuable.

And also being reminded that it's how you view things,

Because that's what I keep telling my clients and my colleagues and everyone.

It's how you view things.

But do you know,

Sorry,

Why do I forget it myself?

It's too close.

It's too close up to where I am and I go blind and what's too close.

And then we look outdoors and out from beyond the borders of Norway.

I want to go everywhere else instead of being treasuring what I stand in on my own two feet.

And do you know,

Do you know how many other women there are out there that are like,

Who am I without my kids needing me 24 seven?

What is even my style?

What is what do I want to do?

And with with the total transformation happening with menopause and that I learned when I had a podcast conversation with another lovely lady that can begin as early as 39.

Yes,

It can.

Like to for your body to be undergo such a dramatic,

Just undergoing,

You're becoming another person.

Yeah.

And and you're just you don't have to.

So this is something so many people think,

I have to wait to share my story until I really know everything,

Till I know my purpose fully,

Till I really reached that place.

And then I can share because then I can share that I've learned and come on the other side.

But there's so much more value in sharing when I'm in the middle of the journey with you.

And it doesn't take away from the expertise that you have that you've built up at all.

It's just shows that you're a genuine person.

Many people when they're recording their first videos,

They're so nervous.

And they're like,

The three steps that you need to learn to read a tarot deck.

Step one,

You know,

And it's,

You just be real,

Just breathe,

Let the cat walk across your computer and and pet it as it goes.

And let life happen.

And don't be ashamed of being a real person with a real journey.

No.

I'm also here about breaking taboos and breaking patterns and doing things the natural way.

So what you say now is resonating very much.

Indeed.

Yeah.

And it's also about living in a small place where it's kind of like people are locked into themselves.

And they keep thinking what you're saying now that I need to be this way or that way for me to go outside and be accepted instead of just going,

Hello,

Here I am,

Who are you?

I want to connect with you.

Scandinavians are not the most open and connecting people.

No,

They're not.

They're very slow and they stand with their hands in their hands and I wonder what she's doing and I'm not going over there because she might think I am this and that.

What is the little niggling mean voice in your head that is making you feel insecure?

What does it say about money?

I think it says,

I don't know anything about money,

I just know that I need them.

And I know that they come and go and that's life.

And the other opinion about money in this house is that,

Oh,

We have to work our shit out to just earn some money and then we have to save it and they don't grow on trees and you can't buy that,

You can't be happy until you earn this much money.

Then we can perhaps plan in 10 years time,

You know,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

And I get so tired of struggling with this other opinion contrary to mine,

Which is,

It will happen when it will.

And I know it will.

My mind and my head is not working with my art.

It's my heart from my art,

So to speak,

If that came out right,

Even.

So it's two different ways of living,

Really.

I can really feel that war that you're like,

I want to live in the moment.

I want to buy the ice cream and take the trip.

Yes,

I do.

And I want to trust that the universe is leading me.

I think one of the big problems that we can have is that we can just be so fat with knowledge.

We have too much knowledge at our fingertips,

Too many wise people to talk about and to learn from.

And it's so freaking hard to integrate what we know to our heart.

How do you integrate the things when something touches you deeply and you're like,

That's meant for me?

That's a message from source direct.

What do I do with it now?

I'm all about drawing it out and painting.

So when things come to me that I feel this is for me,

I just grab it with both hands.

And I think that I feel that if I don't draw it or paint it or create something about it or go after it,

It will get lost.

Because it's like you say,

In the moment,

In the middle of before and after,

That's where we are and that's where I am.

And if I'm not there,

I'm up here in my head and that doesn't work.

So what I do is just like go with the flow.

I just take a photograph of the flower when I need to,

And then I go back into my studio and just paint it out if I have the time.

But then again,

My mind says,

No,

You can't do that.

You don't have time to do it.

Just catalog it for later.

Put it down.

But I know that if I don't do it right here,

Right now,

I'll never do it.

I'll just forget it.

And also with the menopausal brain fog,

It's a real,

Real drag because I have tons of things laying around,

Notes and stuff like that,

But I don't remember anymore why I took them or what I was going to do about them.

So I just live in the moment.

And that has been my one thing the whole way through.

As far as I can remember,

Back in my childhood,

If I don't do it now,

It will never happen again.

So it's part of the path and integrating that into everything,

Just like eating a chocolate when I need to without thinking too much about it and knowing that,

Okay,

This will make me gain five pounds if I do that.

I want people to stop being so hard on themselves.

It was too difficult to combine being a mother of a growing number of children and also fitting into the box of being a teacher because you have to do things the best way and not go outside the lines.

I have to stop being a teacher,

Really,

Physically and mentally and soul-wise ill.

I was thrown to the floor many times over and over again.

I started four times,

I started working as a teacher and it took me between five to two months before my body collapsed.

I was too tired and too dizzy and too anxious and too lonely and too angry with the system.

So I wouldn't say I'm pushing myself.

I just want to be the artist and I know I'm going to have a big breakthrough right about now in just around the corner,

Half a mile of heaven,

You know.

So I have to keep focusing on my treasure,

Like you said in the beginning.

It's magic.

It's a superpower.

Instead of focusing with my mind too much on that difference.

I want to pop in real quick and ask how long have you been dealing with the fuzzy brain of menopause?

Menopause?

Oh,

That's a funny question.

I was starting to look at my notes,

My diary from 2016,

That would be eight years.

And even before that,

I started having this huge panic anxiety attacks and not a different bleeding pattern,

But my body didn't want to do what I wanted to do.

So that was the first thing.

And then a couple of years ago,

Irregular patterns of bleeding started to occur.

And right now I am,

I think,

I hope I asked my body to say that it's okay,

You're in the end of it.

So it's been five,

Six years of just diminuendoing and the waves have not been very tall,

But they're here and basically,

What's the worst for me is the sleeping,

The deprived sleeping.

That's the worst.

The past year I've been going to see this holistic therapist who has really helped me to sort what's that about,

What is this about?

Is this my hormones?

Is this stress?

Is this the marriage?

Is this your thinking?

Is this your purpose?

The whole me,

And that has been very useful,

But I would say five or five years.

Wow.

So it kind of makes me think of when a person's coming off of a medication in their bodies or going onto a medication,

Finding the right dosage,

It takes so much time to adjust.

And it's like your body has been really trying to adjust to the different,

The fluctuations of hormones for this time,

And you're still riding that wave.

So I just really hope that you're so gentle with yourself and patient with yourself.

And it's like,

What are you meant to carry?

Your body is not the same.

You're not the same.

Your goals,

Your hopes and dreams are not the same.

So it's like,

What can you,

In that whole integration process,

In the art process,

How can you use that to let go of the things that you can't?

It's like,

God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I can't change.

Which brings me to,

I want to say that I've integrated this into a tarot deck.

Oh,

Nice.

I was recently working on publishing,

And I didn't know that I was creating it until I saw that when Tom Evans introduced me to us creating a deck together,

That all my art actually was a tarot deck.

So I needed to sort them out.

They're huge,

56 by 76 centimeters watercolors,

Which I need to photograph and do digital,

Put into an app,

And they're coming out this year.

So I look at my life backwards,

And all the phases I've been through,

And all the things that I've been stumbling over and dealing with,

And everything is in the artwork.

Not me,

Actually,

But it's symbols,

You know,

That I'm very intuitive.

So I've drawn,

For instance,

The high priestess,

I don't know if you're familiar with the tarot.

Not terribly,

No.

I've had a few readings,

But I don't know much.

But you have certain archetypes,

And they have symbols they're supposed to have in their cards and their descriptions.

And I put them there without knowing with my mind that it would help me.

But Tom said,

OK,

You just painted a tarot deck.

Did you know that?

No,

I didn't.

And it's my life.

So you can put it in system and know,

When am I that card?

When am I that card?

And it's lovely.

What a neat journey.

Yeah,

It is.

I've been doing it without knowing it appear in my mind,

But with my soul.

And also,

That's what I'm here to do,

Too,

To teach people to just follow their instincts.

Yeah,

Just thinking about that.

Following your instincts to know what things like,

How much do we need to educate others about what we need or communicate our needs?

And how much is it really their responsibility out of their love for us to educate themselves on and meet us halfway?

So do you feel like you've got some practical things to think about and do in your life?

Do you feel do you feel some inspiration?

Oh,

Wow.

Yes,

Indeed.

I do.

And I love your dress,

Your pattern on your dress.

It's so inspirational.

It looks like my drawings.

I actually I do this.

I pick out my clothes and jewelry for the person that I'm connecting with.

And so I pick this for you because we're Scandinavian.

Well,

I'm like,

I'm adopted into Scandinavia being having lived here for so long.

I've got Thor's hammer necklace.

Wonderful.

I love it.

And I just have these super artsy fartsy dangly chaotic earrings.

I love it.

It looks like my drawings.

I so admire you,

Katie.

That's good.

And your tattoo,

It's the wheel of fortune on your hand.

It's actually a Huguenot cross.

Yeah.

But it could be more things,

Of course.

Yeah.

Looks like the wheel of fortune to me.

How do you do that?

You're very intuitive,

Aren't you?

I think so.

I'm really growing into this intuition as I have these conversations.

And the goal here is that I'm putting myself out there to connect with my people.

That when my intuition leads me to say,

Hey,

Would you like to work full together in some capacity?

Would you like me to be your cheerleader,

Coach,

Mentor in a process and have access to me regularly?

I can put that out there.

And through these podcasts,

People can see,

Oh,

I can get something from her right now through this conversation.

I can feel this inspiration.

That's for me.

I'm going to take that.

Thank you so much for taking this time being so vulnerable,

Real.

And I know that it's going to mean something to people out there.

And I actually spoke to another lovely Norwegian Insight Timer person yesterday,

And she's going to help me get connected to Insight Timer to upload these podcasts over there.

Oh,

That's great.

I'm also an Insight Timer,

As you know.

So that's great.

Yeah.

So it's all coming together.

Is there any last thing you wanted to say before we finish?

I love the idea that you are people's cheerleader.

I would also love to have a cheerleader.

So feel free to encourage me whenever I feel I'm dipping down.

That would be great,

Katie.

Also,

Thank you for wanting me on your podcast.

That's wonderful.

Great.

Well,

Thank you.

And the way that I give I finish my conversations is I give hugs.

Yeah,

I wish I could do.

Wonderful.