An Insightful Conversation About Overthinking

This was a lovely conversation with Joanne Barker. She is a someone who knows that she is very talented and is ready to go to the next step in her journey, to call in her team and see movement.
The blocks she is coming up against is fear, of judgement, of not being safe in showing her true self.
This is a conversation for anyone who is in that holistic healing and coaching space, and for people who are ready to do the inner work towards fining peace and moving beyond perfectionism.
This is about choosing what message we will align with and finding that confidence within.

Music by by Manuel Portillo

Transcript

That's my journey right now is to really have a deep connection with understanding my own brain before I'm understanding anybody else's and getting caught up with their whirling and swirling that creates a discord in my brain.

Hello and welcome to the Clearing the Creative podcast.

I'm so happy to introduce my guest Joanne Barker.

It was a very philosophical,

Introspective conversation that we had and it's so interesting to see how it's different each time we take this journey to get to the root of things and to see what blocks are there on this path to following that creative passion.

We talked about how she's looking for safety,

She's looking at her ideals,

Her perfectionism,

The witch wound of wanting to be extraordinary but also wanting to be safe.

It's such a journey of looking past the fear and the judgment,

Learning to trust ourselves,

To have that courage and there were a lot of beautiful nuggets of wisdom said by both of us that I really think are going to encourage people out there.

So let's jump right into it.

So when it comes to your ideals and the way you look at life is it a matter of people don't take you a feeling not taken seriously because it's woo woo.

I hope that doesn't offend you.

I think that's quite fun.

Is that an issue that people think that you're just some weird little witchy lady?

I love that.

So to the point,

There's an element of that but I think it's almost that it has to be about me accepting those parts of myself and then me being able to express myself.

Although I'm a radio presenter and an interviewer for my podcast,

I find it really difficult if someone's putting me under the spotlight to express myself and it's like I know all of this innately and my intuition and I understand myself but when I'm trying to describe it all as to how I can help other people from everything I've been through,

I just find it impossibly difficult.

Do you hear this little voice in your head like they're gonna think you're crazy?

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah.

Okay.

What is your knee-jerk response to the word weird?

Yeah,

Weird.

Someone who's a bit nuts.

That's in the belfry.

So your initial reaction to the word weird is that it's a negative thing?

Yeah,

Interesting.

You've got me.

Because,

Oh my goodness.

If I'm a brain,

Weird is an ultimate compliment because it is just it's not adhering to the norms.

I jokingly use the word witch but I admire and respect the heck out of people that will accept and take on that label because it's like what a way to stick it to the patriarchy,

Man.

They tried to knock all the wisdom away.

They tried to make people live in fear.

They tried to,

You know,

Torture it out of existence but it didn't work.

It still exists.

The wisdom still exists.

So people who are willing to say,

I'm a witch,

What about it?

I'm like,

Oh man,

You got some guts.

So about weirdness,

It's like anybody who's successful is because they're unique.

Yes.

They didn't just do some copy of someone else's idea.

They were the first ones.

They leaned into everything that made them special and that's where their success came from.

Hmm.

So to me,

Weirdness is just a fun way to say special.

Special.

Yeah.

I mean,

I think this is the part of the self-acceptance journey is that a lot of things have felt weird and being weird,

But actually I'm pretty extraordinary.

I really I love it.

Phrase that,

You know,

I do think very differently,

But I have incredible inner resilience and so many life experiences that have shaped that extraordinary way of overcoming many challenges.

Talking about culture,

Brits,

British people aren't allowed to talk well about themselves.

You have to just say,

Oh no,

No,

No.

You're not allowed to accept and project that you're extraordinary because,

You know,

That's weird.

Right.

Yeah.

So this is coming down to beliefs now.

Yeah.

It's amazing how much of a place culture plays in our whole identity of,

Am I too much?

Am I not enough?

And back to the witch thing,

Anybody who's got some kind of superpower,

You know,

They're tapped into their intuition.

They see the world in a different realm.

You said you also work in energy.

So there's a witch wound.

I'm sure you probably know more about this than I do.

I just know a surface level definition,

But I keep coming back to it because it's just,

It's relevant.

There's that fear of I'm not back to safety.

I'm not safe.

Yeah.

Oh God,

You're so spot on because in my birth chart,

Because I know my chart inside out,

That they have the space that's your South node and your North node in your birth chart.

And my South node is in Scorpio,

Which is as witchy woo as it could possibly be.

And the aspects,

The planetary aspects are very much about the illusion and the shadow and,

You know,

The deceits and the lies and it's moving past that and looking more for that higher learning that wisdom.

And isn't the big goal in this world,

In the world of self-improvement and helping others is overcoming the dualistic viewpoint of things that,

Ooh,

The shadow bad,

Light,

Good,

But incorporating the shadow and,

And comforting the fears and being that,

Being that voice to your 15 year old self that says you're safe.

Yeah.

And this is a lot of the work I'm doing currently is that,

Um,

Self soothing and that really reprogramming the self that the,

Um,

Subconscious,

You know,

On the self talk to an even deeper level than I have before,

Because we are being plummeted as a,

As a collective into the darkness.

We,

You know,

We can see what is going on out there.

And it's literally,

I've been doing the inner work for a long,

Long,

Long,

Long time.

And,

You know,

There's a,

There's a tendency that I want to shine my light out,

You know,

Brighter,

But there's also that we can't get the shadow.

We need to do that in a work.

And as things come up,

Then we've got the space,

Right.

We've got the space and freedom to sort of,

You know,

Shine our light outwards.

Yeah.

And then,

But then there's that the ego we were talking briefly about before we hit record,

The ego is like,

But we must protect you from the danger that is that comes from shining the light.

Yeah.

And it burns at the stake then.

So how do you connect with your clients?

How do you attract them?

How are you putting your message out there?

Um,

Well,

It's,

It's kind of word of mouth at the moment,

Not putting a lot of messages out there in the last few months,

I've trained as a level two counselor.

So that took a lot of my time and my energy this year has been a really inward journey for me.

So it's,

I'm only just now starting to get very clear on what I do.

And that is about rediscovering and realigning to your purpose.

That's where I've been connecting with people and working collaboratively on projects with people.

That's really where I thrive because my backgrounds team,

And I use my tools to really help people to energetically match,

You know,

Match with other people to work together and obviously know who they are,

You know,

Their own energy profile just spent two to four weeks,

Not even that long now,

Putting it on a distribution site.

And I've,

I've got it streaming now to all major platforms.

Within a month,

I think I've got a hundred and a hundred,

Over a hundred,

You know,

Views listens.

So,

Yeah,

I feel like that is like my little project that I absolutely love.

I'm learning from my guests.

I'm thoroughly enjoying it,

But it's,

It's has taken a lot of my energy and,

And I can see how much I'm giving to others.

So what I'd like to see is,

Is me really just filling my cup up and really getting more confident.

I think even talking to you,

This is like,

Feels weird,

But I'm actually quite enjoying it now that we're into it and me getting an opportunity,

Someone drawing,

Drawing stuff out of me for a change to help me to realize that I can talk confidently.

It's just what I want to see is clarity in my messaging and connection.

My word of the month for October is connection.

Ooh.

Yeah.

I love it.

Connection is like one of my light up my heart words.

Yeah.

So what's the hardest part of the podcasting journey?

Um,

If you could just be like,

I don't want to do this part anymore.

This is boring and takes too much energy.

Yeah.

The marketing,

The marketing.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean the talking and even,

I,

I really quite enjoy that,

You know,

A bit of editing that,

You know,

Uploading it to the site.

It's more that getting out there,

Making sure that,

You know,

People connect to it and listen to it.

It's clarity and messaging.

Clarity and messaging so that I can position myself as to the go-to person for rediscovering who they are,

Realigning with their purpose.

I've got clearer on that and that's going to be helping me around the marketing with that.

But it's,

It's,

I'm calling in a much bigger project.

That's what I really want to see is my business being part with myself,

Doing what I do best,

Working with others with what they do best as part of a bigger project.

You know,

That's really where I want my.

Have you seen a connector between the different people that you work with,

Like things that they all seem to have in common?

Yeah,

Definitely.

Great question.

Whether they're healers,

Holistic healers,

Coaches,

Therapists.

As an example,

So my background is fundraising and care in the community and healthcare.

And so I trained in holistic and conventional medicine,

But I also run a charity for young carers and I recognize they didn't get the support they needed.

So this is the gap that I would love to start to create is almost like working with a team of people that offer their services,

Be it talking therapy,

You know,

The healing entry-level healing stuff for people,

Perhaps going through terrible things like cancer or,

You know,

There's that those services are not being,

Those needs are not being met.

It's like,

Okay,

You get to be on the waiting list to be on the waiting list.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that's,

That's a problem for me because even though I had my experiences,

I've,

I always found a way because I innately knew within side of me that I needed to heal inside of me.

And so that's always an ongoing process when you've had like trauma.

Is that,

Is that in like the,

What's it called somatic where you feel the pain in the,

How the body holds the stress?

Okay.

So you want to help the healers as well as the people that are in the beginning stages of sicknesses,

Right?

Great.

Yeah.

Great question that I can do that with the,

The numerology and the astrology and all of that is I can unlock what's holding them back from truly being of service,

You know,

In,

In a one-to-one session using numerology and astrology,

I can pinpoint,

You know,

Their North node,

What the planetary aspects are showing them on a really practical level,

The direction.

Cause a lot of people healers therapists lose focus.

They lose direction.

They're not always confident.

They might appear to be,

But then they,

They need some just guidance in a guided direction and trust that.

So yeah,

I've been doing that for years and years.

It's now the podcast is which is that geared to the healers or to the sick people?

Good question.

Again,

The podcast is almost like I've got this massive network.

I always,

I've seen myself as having,

But years and years and years built up this network of people that I've gone to for healing and some have become friends,

Some have become colleagues.

And so I'm busy interviewing those kinds of people to really showcase them and their,

Their journey,

Where they were and where they are now and how they kind of got there with to inspire.

The idea of the podcast is to inspire someone who's feeling I'm fulfilled in their career.

Also probably doesn't know that there are a gifted,

Talented,

Usually women,

You know,

Which in a,

Which that is incredibly talented and we need those kinds of people to go through this coaching training process a bit like I have.

So those feeling unfulfilled,

It's,

It's feels,

And I am dealing with this in my podcast too.

It feels a bit broad still.

Like it's so easy to do when you have a massive network and there's no trouble at all to get guests is how do I hone in so that I can really make content specific to people.

Yeah,

I love it.

I think I feel like it's a bit like being an airline pilot.

I've,

I've done hundreds and hundreds and hundreds hours for my radio show and for other things to really hone in my skills as a,

As an interviewer and presenter.

And so this is really helpful to me.

I've got people booked into November,

But I know I'm going to reflect after that because I feel it's almost like I've done season one.

I've got enough for season two.

I feel like I'm doing my training round and I think it's possibly going to evolve to another stepping stone.

I think it is like my first podcast.

I think there's something else.

And also just to add in,

I know I'm going to co-create a book kind of like what's come to me is the missing piece.

We can't see peace spelt peace.

No,

No,

No.

It's all right.

It's just,

You say that one more time for editing purposes because I interrupted.

Yeah.

So it's the peace as an inner peace,

The peace we can't see.

I really create a book around that because for me,

The flight fight freeze stress response,

I really,

That's,

That's the niche,

The topic that's probably now that is my niche.

That is my niche around this flight fight freeze,

Because I felt,

I feel like my body's been in it forever and it's,

It's the piece you can't see,

You know,

The inner peace,

The calming down your nervous system,

That just being able to talk,

You know,

Not feeling stuck and afraid.

You know,

I,

I open people's voices up and I give them a platform to speak,

But you're right.

It's about niching that down.

That's probably my next step.

The fight flight freeze sounds like such an amazing niche too,

Because it's so clear about what the outcome is that you can offer.

Cause it is so easy to get to like,

To be this broad.

I am a healer.

Like I can help you with your feeling unfulfilled.

It's,

It's,

It's so grand.

You see,

It's big,

It's fast.

It's overwhelming.

It's like,

We all want to help everyone.

Yeah.

But when you notice those through lines of,

Oh,

Everybody I help is in a,

Is a,

Is in a transformational time.

Like one person I talked to it's early twenties nearing empty nesters and like sixties,

Seventies,

It's like,

Okay,

These are random ages,

But they're all transformational in between times.

Yes.

So they actually have a lot more in common than it would seem,

Or they all have been affected by narcissists.

Yeah.

And this is really interesting thing is that I ask in my podcast,

What's your top tip is top tip time.

And they're all coming back in a,

Their own way,

A different way of basically finding that quiet time in that quiet space of peace,

Right inside and doing the inner work.

So if I'm niching down,

You know,

For my work,

Then it has to come down to this,

You know,

Flight flight freeze.

And this is what I want to kind of do a collaborative book around because I've built up that trust.

I've built up that network.

I want to work with some of these people.

So that would be the book side,

But it's about me.

This is where I get stuck on,

You know,

Getting the facts,

Right.

Describing,

But I have my own personal experience.

So I can draw on that.

And like fear says,

But if you do that,

You will let you will,

People will miss out that there will be people that fall through the cracks and it will be your fault or whatever is what kind of things does your,

Is your ego saying that's,

That's inhibiting you.

Probably judgment that I've got it wrong,

That that's not correct.

What exactly have you gotten wrong perhaps?

I mean,

Over my lifetime,

I felt like multiple times I've got information wrong because I come from a different angle and it's not your stereotypical,

You know,

Doctor's journey.

I used myself to go continuing down the doctor's route because I knew deep down,

I had a horrific eczema and skin condition.

The doctor was like,

Nope,

We can't do anything else other than steroidal cream.

And I'm like,

No,

I can't.

I don't believe you.

I don't want to believe you.

And I went down the holistic in a,

You know,

Somatic journey and healed within three,

Four months and ended up working for my chiropractor as a PA and everything opened up from that,

Right?

So the magic happened when I did that incredibly painful,

Difficult inner journey on the physical.

So that,

So the fear of misreading messages from the universe or whoever is supplying the messages.

Yeah,

Because if for me,

I'm quite,

I'm,

I'm a slow and steady wins the race kind of person.

And that's why I actually love to start something like a project and how I get almost hyper,

Hyper,

You know,

Focused on it and,

And really,

You know,

Make it as,

As a smoother process as possible and make it really work.

And yeah,

That's how I kind of,

Kind of work.

I kind of really dive deep into it,

Do it well,

But it comes then maybe to this perfectionism sort of thing that maybe I've missed something.

If I rush,

If I'm rushed or I rush,

I miss something and I get it wrong.

And that's just me missing.

I'm jumping ahead all the time.

I'm looking for the solution.

I'm,

I'm,

So I'm jumping ahead in my mind.

I want to ask,

Um,

In where,

How do you feel in your body?

What does it feel like to you to trust yourself,

To trust your judgment,

To trust your ability to listen?

Um,

It's interesting because I'm really literally working on this.

I'm doing,

Like I said,

This sub subconscious re patterning and programming in,

In a group called the becoming.

Um,

And,

And I've almost had all of that come up where,

Oh my God,

I've gone into a spin.

So I would say it was literally would be in my head because actually in my mind,

My head,

How I think,

Because my actual body,

It's almost like from here up is different,

Right?

You know,

Like getting all these messages,

Downloads and all of that all well around in my head.

And then I overthink and maybe double doubt,

But with my body,

I'm quite strong in my body.

Like this is the body that's let me down type of feeling and all the other stuff,

But I'm pretty strong and rooted and grounded in my body.

And I think I've learned to do that.

So it's,

I got this mental image of like little roads in your head and like,

It's,

They're missing each other.

Like the ma the magic's going this way and the overthinking is going the other way.

And they're just like,

Oh my God,

You're brilliant.

It's like the neural pathways in my brain.

So if I was to understand my brain and my myself and from the journey I've been on,

I would say there was a massive disconnect from 15 to 23.

And that's the key time where you're forming those emotional connections.

And so that's my journey right now is to really have a deep connection with understanding my own brain before I'm understanding anybody else's and getting caught up with their whirling and swirling that,

That creates a discord in my brain.

Perfectionism and rejection.

That's those are other,

Are those like,

Do you think those are the same tracks or do you think they're all different tracks kind of trying to lead you away from magic?

Probably leading me for away from magic,

You know,

Helping me to,

I've got,

I've got this like different pathways going on in my brain now.

It's like,

So brilliant.

Like I'm the driver of this car.

Everybody get in.

We're not stopping.

All potty breaks will be at the end of the trip.

Yeah,

I love it.

It's so true.

And I think this is where people,

You know,

When,

When I've had people sort of coach,

Coaching me saying,

You know,

Focus on the end result,

The destination,

But when you've got like racing cars going on in your head,

Like on a racing track and,

You know,

You're not necessarily the driver.

And in this world that we find ourselves in,

It can feel very victim blaming of,

Well,

In order to manifest this,

You just have to try harder.

And I come from a Christian background.

I grew up evangelical.

So it was the same exact thing.

Just have more faith.

They just slapped some different paint on the story.

And it's like,

That's not what we need to hear.

We don't need to hear just try harder.

This,

We are so similar.

You and I,

I think that we both have that,

This mentality of,

I'm just going to dig my heels in harder and I'm just going to push harder and it's eventually going to happen.

And then like years and years and years later,

It's like,

Why isn't it happening?

Yeah.

So true.

Then you create burnout,

You create discord,

The unfulfillment,

The unhappiness and all of that.

And actually,

This is the sort of thing,

It's this,

This realization in this,

This deep divine,

I do have faith.

I've really been calling deeper and deeper and deeper into that space.

And that,

That sort of faith.

It's this,

I'm a very motivated,

Self-motivated person,

But I'm,

I'm calling in and need something bigger than myself right now,

Because I can love and look after myself,

But I'm not necessarily driven by money.

You know,

Money for some reason doesn't,

I love money.

I enjoy money.

I actually do have a good relationship with money,

But it's a limited amount.

And there's,

There's a kind of,

I'm not driven by money.

I get turned off.

If someone's going to say,

I'm going to help you,

You for,

For me,

You know,

Earn 10,

000,

Whatever,

Like,

I'm a fundraiser by trade.

I've raised hundreds and hundreds of thousands of pounds for a cause but,

But it's time for me to be able to,

To,

To earn money and look after myself to the level that I really wish to be looked after.

The charity mindset also is that I know other people need it more than I do.

How could I be so,

So selfish or entitled to take it away from people that really,

Really need it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And feel sorry for them.

And,

You know,

That's us putting limits up.

Like it's a,

It's a limitless resource.

You know,

All we need to do is eat the rich.

No,

I'm just kidding.

But like that money is an energy and it is a tool and there is enough of it.

And we do deserve nice things and we do deserve to be taken care of.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I think then when you look through my counseling,

It was looking at what motivates you and all these different things.

And because I have the knowledge of using metaphysics,

You know,

That the numerology,

The astrology is just like the science of it.

It's just incredible.

Like I have literally used this information to sell my property,

You know,

Use the key aspects of what's going on energetically to position myself.

And that's the whole point,

Point of alignment,

The rediscovering of who you really are and the alignment I've used that information myself.

And I'm literally in an NGS cycle.

I'm literally in a nine year cycle,

Which is the most trickiest of all cycles in the numerology pattern.

And it's like,

Right now I need to look at this.

Now I need to stop putting others before me.

Now I need to look at how I can earn a good living doing what I do,

But I need to feel excited,

Inspired and motivated.

I know that about myself.

I love to be part of a team where we really helping and supporting each other.

Absolutely.

It's the essence of who I am.

Yeah.

Oh,

Me too.

Like I need to have people like when I work with someone,

I'm a,

I'm a video editor.

That's how,

That's how I'm making money just now.

And it's like,

I need to hear what they enjoyed before they say what was missing.

Yeah.

I need to,

I need to be,

Have my creative touches appreciated.

Yeah.

And this,

This is absolutely is I'm like the,

I'm like the one who's caring and nurturing for the people in the team to keep them bonded,

To keep them connected,

You know,

Keep them motivated.

That's what I've done all my career.

And then to be made redundant and step outside of that.

A few years ago,

I was made redundant.

Then I went back into the healthcare system and then the system did not look after me.

So I stepped out of the system and then completely took a risk,

Sold my property and moved,

But I'm,

Missing the integral part of me,

Which is the carer,

The nurturer,

The glue,

You know,

In the team,

But it has to be the right kind of team has to be someone who people that think for the bigger,

The higher consciousness,

People that want to look for the future and not dwell around in the negative and the past,

You know,

And the old ways of doing things.

Cause it doesn't work.

Yeah.

But there's that fine line between dwelling in the negative in the past and saying,

You know,

Pile on into the car.

We,

We,

We need to figure this out.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

And we figure it out together and we go on the journey and it's just,

And I've done that.

I've done that for myself and,

You know,

Got to the edge and moved through the edge and found,

Yeah,

Found a great space on the other side.

And that's kind of,

I'm in that.

Now what,

Now what,

And this is my alignment.

This is my own alignment that I'm going through.

So what is it I really want to align with now that excites me,

Motivates me and inspires me.

And I can't bypass the fact is I'm,

I'm a helper.

I'm a supporter.

I love helping others,

But there's a fine line and there's a balance,

Like you say.

So in your podcast,

Do you only focus on your guests or do you also share from your experiences and what you're going through?

Um,

If I get,

It's a very short podcast.

Oh boy,

You need to make it longer.

Don't you know,

People have longer attention spans these days.

Like I can listen to a two hour podcast if it's interesting.

I can't.

That's,

That's me totally.

Okay.

I have some ideas for you.

Um,

If you,

How do you feel about being vulnerable with your audience?

Does that,

Is there a block there?

No,

I can do.

Okay.

Then here's,

Here's my idea is to have somebody that you know,

Is that cares about you and knows your story,

Interview you to talk about this,

This,

This change that you're in of the team kind of team that you want to build,

The,

The,

The,

The impact you want to make,

The results you want to see.

I have done that.

Yeah,

I have.

How long ago?

Um,

Not that long ago.

So it's a short interview I'm enjoying currently.

This is all food for thought for maybe my next project.

Okay.

The interviews I'm doing,

Like I say,

Are short.

It's,

They are to the point,

But they are about purpose and I'm editing a one minute that we're both sharing.

So there's kind of,

That's the sort of structure.

Do you also upload them to insight timer?

I haven't done that yet because I don't know how to edit.

So my next step is to edit.

That's what I've got to learn next is my editing skills.

And I've got a backlog that I can edit to insight timer.

But I think what I'm hearing from this conversation is more reference from my part in my podcast to the flight fight freeze and how I would be that go-to person to come to,

To help with that realignment and that rediscovery of self.

That's what I'm all about is helping people connect with their story and to find the value in that,

That they can use to reach their people.

Well,

This is the process.

This is the point that I'm at,

That's been identified.

And I'm literally going to be starting to do that because that is probably then why I'm not necessarily putting myself out there because it doesn't feel safe and,

You know,

But I'm open to being vulnerable,

But it's got to be done in the right sort of way with respect and understanding.

Cause I'm not very open about that.

So.

I hear you.

Yeah.

It's,

This is like,

This is such a short amount of time.

It's almost like saying,

Okay,

Let's do therapy for the last 40 years of your life.

It's like,

You can only barely scratch the surface.

But my hope with this podcast is that you have,

You have little points in your head that are like,

That's new.

That's helpful.

That's something I can do right now.

Yeah.

A hundred percent.

Definitely.

And,

Um,

Yeah,

It's great.

This is why I love talking to people that are doing things similar to me that got all their wisdom and their tools and their tricks and what they're kind of doing.

Um,

I think the thing is when you haven't felt a sense of safety and you're almost looking to others to help guide you and,

You know,

I love getting the wisdom from them,

But it's about getting a little bit bolder.

Like you're saying,

Adding in,

I like structure.

So I like commitment to something and I like repetition,

But when I like to grow within that,

I like to grow within that.

And so,

Like you said,

There's a few things I can put in there and start to really shape this beautiful container that I've gotten this beautiful thing that I'm doing.

Um,

I am trying to be more bold in,

In putting my magic out there.

I thought that tarot just sounded way too complicated.

It's like 900 cards and 7 billion combinations like now.

Um,

But I made my own cards.

So would you like me to have a card for you and see if you get something out of it?

Go for it.

All right.

This is what I got.

Okay.

Interesting.

Yeah.

So for the listeners,

It's,

There's a man,

The bottom left corner,

Kind of looking kind of happy outside the card.

There's a big black and white picture of a baby in a bathtub and there's some vintage Christmas decorations in a box behind the baby.

I feel like this is just saying like there is so much beauty in your past to dive into,

But did you see anything?

Because sometimes the other people are better at seeing things than I am.

Just the inner child.

I think,

I think it's definitely about the,

The joy.

I mean,

Look how cute that baby looks.

It's really happy and cute.

And in the bath.

Nurturing.

I think it goes back to the continuing to fully love and accept and nurture and love the baby or the,

The inner child with within.

But I don't know about the Christmas decorations that they're kind of throwing me,

But it's almost like celebratory times.

Christmas is for me is about the family and celebrating and really making and being optimistic,

I guess.

Yeah.

And optimistic and not make making,

You know,

The man I see as sort of a bit of controlling the masculine energy.

Also the fact that the man's not looking at the child.

No,

He's turning away like that.

And it's almost like it's if it's not there.

So maybe that's going back to the judgment you mentioned earlier.

Can be.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

But I'm kind of,

I'm open-minded.

I do feel optimistic.

I,

I,

I like my structures and my routines,

And I know that I can create a bit flexibility in between.

And so I'm excited,

You know,

At the weekend,

I'm,

I'm getting to connect with someone who's going to draw out more of my story.

And yeah,

I've been working with her for quite a few weeks now,

And we're now getting to the stage where of a readiness to do that.

So yeah,

I feel safe and I feel grounded.

Awesome.

I would love to hear from you in a few weeks and just see what has come of this,

What movement you can see that came from this time.

That would really mean a lot.

Yeah,

Definitely.

100%.

I think movement is happening slowly.

But I think it's really about this breakthrough where I literally feel great about the work I do and actually not let other people overshadow me.

And maybe when you listen to this again,

Or if you get a chance to listen to it again,

Once it goes up,

Maybe you'll get something new.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Definitely.

Thank you so much for taking this time for being brave to put yourself out there like this.

And I think that you're awesome.

I guess I should say,

Is there any last thing you would like to say?

No,

Just,

As I say,

Processing going over what you've sort of said,

And it's been really helpful,

Really,

You know,

Just these little nuggets,

This is all we need.

And that,

For me,

I like a bite size conversation,

Because I've got loads of conversations lined up.

But I like the little bite size,

Because I take something from all of it.

So that's what I've taken from it today.

Awesome.

Well,

Thank you so much.

The way I end my conversations is I give hugs.

Oh,

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Absolute pleasure.

I would just like to take a time to say how thankful I am to Joanne for her courage in speaking her truth,

And seeing the value in it.

And just being authentic.

It's such a hard one place.

And people who have worked and done the inner healing work that see how much value their story has,

That that courage needs to be recognized.

So thank you,

Joanne,

For being a guest here.

Now more than ever,

We need to share our stories,

Put our truth out there,

And make the world a better,

Brighter,

And more hopeful place by putting that hope out for others.