Healing instead of controlling.
Carl Rogers quote,
People are just as wonderful as sunsets,
If you let them be.
When I look at a sunset,
I don't find myself saying,
Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner.
I don't try to control a sunset.
I watch with awe as it unfolds.
Meditation.
A critical and controlling spirit can kill a person's sense of self and joy.
My family has passed on a critical and controlling spirit from one generation to the next,
Over centuries.
It also might have been a typical German trait that was passed on,
Telling others how they are supposed to be,
That they are not right,
That they are wrong and falling short,
Can undermine a person's self-esteem and wound a healthy sense of joy and pride.
I can see this critical German spirit entering medicine and psychoanalysis as a tendency of always seeing what is not and of focusing only on pathology or shortcomings or abnormalities.
Psychologist Carl Rogers counteracted this notion by defining psychotherapy as a healing encounter.
As we watch other people in awe,
We do not try to control them.
We let them be while enjoying their development.
We accept them as being different from our ideals or from us.
We question and let go of our culture-bound judgments and expectations.
What a different approach!
It took me many years to shift to this new paradigm.
On my worst days,
I still get trapped in judgmental and critical thinking and behavior.
On my best days,
I can let it be and watch others in awe,
Delighting in them as they unfold,
While trusting the complex process of becoming,
Of healing and of learning.
The Bible text is from Stephania,
Chapter 3,
Verse 17.
The Lord your God is in your midst,
A mighty one who will save.
He will rejoice over you with gladness.
He will quiet you by his love.
He will exalt over you with loud singing.
I'm saying a prayer.
God,
When we pray,
Speaking or in silence,
We spend healing time with you.
The notion that you are rejoicing over us is a healing image,
Holding onto the assurance that you look at us with loving eyes and that you are so enamored with us that you break into song.
Those are wonderful notions.
God,
Heal any wounds that have come from critical and judgmental eyes watching us or from critical voices wounding us.
Let us imagine that you rejoice over us.
Help us be part of many healing encounters.
Amen.
