Qualities Of Divine Self Care For Ultimate Healing

In this talk, we explore the differences between little s selfcare and capital S Selfcare. Learn the importance of the qualities of compassion, trust, faith, surrender, patience and devotion to Selfcare and discover the ways ego can corrupt these symbols into their low-frequency aspects, sabotaging our efforts to heal and align with our Divinity.

Transcript

Qualities of Divine Self-Care for Ultimate Healing So what is self-care?

Self-care is the way we live our lives,

Not just in carving out time for ourselves,

But keeping our self-care attitude in mind throughout the day.

Self-care is rooted in kindness and authenticity towards the self.

So I'd like to make an important distinction.

Notice that I'm talking about two kinds of self-care here.

Self-care with a capital S and self-care with a little s.

This is an important distinction,

Though really they're inseparable and rely on each other.

The capital S self-care is a means of tapping into the higher aspects of who we are.

It is allowing our divine selves to reach towards and care for our material selves.

It's a mysterious but ever-present force.

It's our nature,

Our body's ability to heal itself,

And the grace that is always available to us,

Whether or not we are aware of it or open to it.

The little s self-care,

However,

Are all the things we do,

Our thoughts and actions,

The reaching back toward that capital S self.

It's the practical things we do and the choices we make.

So the essential difference for me is that an understanding of capital S self-care is as if not more important to our healing than anything we do on the little s self-care level.

So let's look at a few misperceptions of self-care.

Self-care is not simply the 10-minute meditation you make time for every day,

Or once a week massage or yoga class,

Though that's definitely a start.

It is very much a way we live our lives,

Not just in carving out time for ourselves,

But keeping our self-care attitude in mind throughout the day,

Every day.

Self-care is not selfishness or negligently forsaking responsibilities.

Rather,

It is seeking alternatives,

Accommodations,

And freshness in managing our responsibilities.

It is placing the oxygen mask on ourselves first so that we can serve others.

It is not indulgence in addictions we know are bad for us just because they make us feel temporarily better.

It is,

However,

Perfectly okay to indulge now and again in things that are non-addicting and or do not have lasting harmful effects to self.

And here it's important to understand that the capital S self is never harmed and cannot be.

Self-care is not forcing ourselves into some self-improvement program or endlessly trying to make ourselves into better people by constantly moving the goal posts.

It is,

However,

Fulfilling our innate potentials and accepting the highest truth of who we are.

Self-care is not necessarily about spending large amounts of money on retreats or treatments or therapies or any other material thing.

If you have the money,

Lucky you.

If you don't,

You can still make capital S and little s self-care a way of life.

It doesn't cost a dime to change the way we think,

But it does take a certain amount of willingness,

Relearning,

And effort.

Okay,

Actually a lot.

Ultimately,

All self-care is rooted in kindness and authenticity towards the self.

It is the turning of your attention away from thoughts and things that pull you down and refocusing your attention and energies on things that elevate your spirit.

Your self-care will be entirely unique to you based on what feeds your soul.

Music,

Landscapes,

Artwork,

Poetry,

Wisdom,

Colors,

Foods,

Activities.

Of course,

It is always helpful to find like-minded souls with whom you share such things in common.

That's self-care with a little s.

Now let's talk about self-care with a capital S.

There are qualities of divine self-care that help us live a divine life.

Though capital S self-care is not something we do ourselves,

Rather,

It's a mysterious process to which we submit.

The following terms point us into a space that allows us to soften to the process without egoic anxiety or confusion.

Think of one's self as a teabag and these qualities as the hot water in which one steeps for the sake of healing and wholeness.

Let's spend a little time covering each of these qualities in more detail.

Although,

As symbols,

They remain in essence quite beyond the definitions used to describe them here,

It is still helpful to have a common understanding of them.

And then we can get a little clearer about and closer to the energy they transmit and the potentials they offer us.

Compassion.

Co,

Meaning together,

And passion,

Meaning a powerful emotion.

Compassion is defined as a deep awareness and understanding of the suffering of others or the ability to feel with them.

Indeed,

Understanding our collective suffering,

As well as individual suffering,

Is what softens the heart center.

Compassion allows us to forgive ourselves and each other.

Lacking compassion,

We become hard and unyielding.

We become fixated and fearful,

Though often in denial of both.

More importantly,

We remain ignorant of the understanding that can begin to ease our suffering,

The recognition that we're all connected,

And that the suffering of one becomes the suffering of all.

Trust.

Trust is defined as confidence in the truth and is associated with fidelity and loyalty.

I uphold that we are not just connected with all beings,

But that we are also one with God.

Therefore,

Our thoughts and actions reflect our confidence or trust in that,

Even if we don't fully grok the power of its full meaning.

We remain loyal to that truth,

Even when the illusions of life,

The Maya,

Test that trust,

Even if we cannot wholly define that truth with mere words.

The simple fact is,

Our egoic intelligence will never be great enough to comprehend the mysteries of existence,

No matter how hard we may try,

And no matter how much effort we put into convincing ourselves otherwise.

We have no choice if we wish not to suffer,

But to trust that a greater intelligence is at play.

Faith.

Usually associated with religion,

Faith is quite simply belief,

Usually in the absence of concrete proof.

So really,

The word can be applied to any aspect of our thinking.

If we believe the thoughts we think,

We have faith in them,

Quite often to our detriment.

Faith is a powerful thing.

Think of the placebo effect and how people are actually cured of ailments with a sugar pill.

That's the power of the mind that we must harness,

But in a way that serves our highest self.

Unfortunately,

So much of our faith is trapped within our conditioned mind.

We believe in the stories our parents fed us,

That we were naughty children or were failures,

For example.

We believe things that others tell us and doubt our own senses and experience.

In the Bible,

Jesus is quoted as having said,

Your faith has healed you,

To a woman who touched his cloak in an effort to be cured of her illness.

This is a very pure teaching,

Regardless of your religious beliefs.

Faith alone does indeed have that power.

What we believe,

Free from doubt,

Can move mountains.

There is another aspect to faith in regards to duty.

In practicing self-care,

We have promised to be faithful to that self.

Surrender.

Ah,

This word,

It gets such a bad rap.

The Western mind especially abhors the idea of giving up the fight.

But the original meaning of surrender is to give oneself up.

And that is exactly what is required for capital S self-care.

We must give up the little s self and deliver it into the hands of the capital S self.

We grant back to God what is God's.

We abandone or release our need to control,

To be right,

To understand,

And to be important.

And we let a higher power orchestrate our lives.

Surrender is release,

A letting go of the struggle,

And a melting into acceptance.

Patience.

When we bear the uncomfortable without complaint,

We are exercising patience.

The path of healing can be a long and challenging one that tests our patience.

Sometimes it feels like we're getting nowhere.

Months and even years can go by without much to show for our efforts.

Patience is needed to remain steadfast.

Patience can also be defined as calmly awaiting an outcome.

But with self-care,

It is important to release our hopes for outcomes,

And instead focus our attention on learning to clearly see and accept what is.

We must be prepared to wait an eternity for change to come.

Fortunately,

And paradoxically,

It doesn't usually take that long once we're willing.

But in the meantime,

Our next quality comes to the rescue.

Devotion.

Though it is usually used in regard to religious feeling,

Relationships,

Or even man's best friend,

My preferred meaning is awe and reverence.

While it helps to have an object of that devotion,

Some god,

Figure,

Or guru,

One can also simply be devoted to truth or beauty,

And even,

Quite unfortunately,

Money or power.

And in so being,

That devotion drives all efforts in life towards that energy.

There is a sense of doing anything and everything for the object of our devotion.

In fact,

Devotion is the fuel of every other quality so far named.

It makes compassion,

Trust,

Faith,

Surrender,

And patience possible.

We devote without ever expecting anything in return.

The gaping lack of and misdirected devotion in this world will be our downfall if humanity cannot return to a state of awe and reverence for the mystical.

Because a life without it is unthinkably dry and devoid of meaning.

It's important to note that despite the positive associations we usually have with each of these words,

It is our thoughts and actions around them that make them helpful or detrimental to self-care.

Can you see how these qualities are able to help us release the things that keep us trapped in our fearful,

Restrictive,

Egoic identity?

But every single quality can be adulterated and twisted by the ego into something quite different than what is represented by the symbols in their purest form.

For example,

Compassion can turn into pity.

Trust can turn into willful ignorance.

Faith can become blind.

Surrender can become helplessness.

Patience can become procrastination.

And devotion can lead to fanaticism.

So let's take a deeper look now into how the symbols can be corrupted by the ego and keep us trapped in our fearful,

Restrictive,

Egoic identity.

We could say that each quality has a shadow,

In other words,

A very low frequency expression of itself.

But it's important to remember that inherent in the shadow is the light-filled highest expression of each quality,

Especially helpful when we're facing these lower frequency expressions in ourselves and others.

It is our ego that keeps us locked in these low frequencies,

And recognizing we've fallen into them can help us start to change the frequency.

Compassion can become pity.

You might know of someone who seems to enjoy their suffering.

It might even be you.

They love telling their story about how they were wronged or about how cruel life has been to them.

They might even engage in a sort of competition of misery with others.

Or they might twist compassion so tightly that they themselves become the totally unaware perpetrator by either reliving the painful past again and again,

Or by focusing on righteous revenge.

Or perhaps you might know someone,

It might even be you,

Who hears about the misery of another and uses that suffering to make themselves feel superior.

This unfortunately happens a lot in spiritual circles.

Those who fancy themselves enlightened manifestors,

Who have mastered all negative states,

Might blame the victim for choosing their situation.

But this can also simply be denying the light in another,

Keeping them down.

Trust can become willful ignorance.

When we are too trusting,

Or all of our trust is directed outwardly instead of inwardly,

We might fall into a form of willful ignorance and an unwillingness to question authority or status quo.

Such a low-frequency expression of trust has caused devastating harm throughout history.

Rather than trusting our own experience from the space of the heart,

We enter a state of either doubt or fear or both.

Instead,

We choose a false certainty in order to feel safe and comfortable and begin to deny all other possibilities and perspectives.

It doesn't take much of either for our eyes to slowly close,

Which leads to our next quality.

Faith can become blind.

Remember that faith is pure power.

It doesn't care what you believe.

It will empower that belief.

So if we don't question our beliefs,

We may very well be putting our faith in things that simply do not and cannot ever serve us.

Often,

We are taught or misunderstand that faith must exist without doubt,

Without question.

But this can result in either a savior complex by which we wait for someone else to come to our rescue,

Taking no responsibility for ourselves and our thoughts and actions in the meantime,

Or it can become the faulty drive behind those thoughts and actions.

We have to understand the objects of our faith completely,

Not blindly.

We have to bring those objects into the light so that they can be fully seen and selected consciously.

Surrender can become helplessness.

We can understand that surrender is a matter of the frequency of expression,

For surrender can indeed mean giving up instead of giving back.

When we don't understand it is the ego that must be surrendered,

We can turn into a sense of helplessness for that very ego,

Making it even stronger than before.

You might hear thoughts of,

I can't,

Or I'll never,

And while that may or may not be true,

You will accept such thoughts without question,

Or in another expression,

You might be filled with too much pride to let go.

You might dig your heels in,

Cut off your nose to spite your face,

Or sabotage yourself.

Resistance is the shadow aspect of surrender,

And it is one of the major roots of suffering,

Along with ignorance.

The prideful resister to what is might feel strong and even noble in their resistance,

But it is a false strength and nobility.

It is actually helplessness,

For such a one will never realize the self.

Patience can become procrastination.

We all know of something we ought to do or must do that we keep putting off.

This is a bastardization of patience.

It is an unwillingness to take responsibility and step into our power.

We tolerate things and waste precious energy,

Rather than summon that same energy to change them and be free.

Procrastination leaves us wanting.

We want what we don't have,

And remain in a state of wanting,

Rather than taking the steps necessary to either fulfill that desire,

Or to cultivate the wisdom to realize it won't make us happy,

Thereby letting it go.

Impatience is desire for what we want when we want it now.

Desire is also a major cause of our suffering,

Along with ignorance and resistance.

Devotion can become fanaticism.

Just as devotion is the fuel behind the greatest expressions of these qualities,

Fanaticism is the fuel behind their shadow expressions.

This may look like the more familiar religious or ideological rigidity that we see in the world,

But more importantly,

And in a broader sense,

It is the tiny box of pure ego expression.

Instead of living from a recognition that we are all the one connected organism of life,

We go about our lives as if we're separate,

And instead of living in alignment with universal principles of wisdom and love,

We fall into the hells of foolish ignorance,

Prideful resistance,

And self-serving desire.

The capital S self is our highest,

Truest nature,

Whereas the little S self is our ego identity.

In our deepest heart,

We all know this truth.

We are divine.

It's our denial of this that keeps us in suffering,

In the separate self or ego.

Our sense of separation from love,

From the archetypal heavenly father and mother,

From oneness with all that is,

Is without a doubt our very source of suffering.

The purpose of life on this earth is reconnecting to,

And then living in alignment with the capital S self.

Compassion.

Trust.

Faith.

Surrender.

Patience.

And devotion.

If these sound utterly frightening,

Unrealistic,

Or even impossible,

Then your work starts with understanding why you feel that way,

And freeing yourself from such detrimental limitations and resistances that will forever keep you from knowing who you are.

But of course,

You have to want to know.

Since you're listening to this,

Chances are you already know that it is not only possible but essential to spend time cultivating these qualities.

However,

Knowing what these qualities are,

Even being able to speak eloquently about them,

Is a far cry from activating and living them in every single moment,

Especially in the face of our daily tests and challenges.

You've probably heard the saying,

Where you place your attention is what expands.

So if you focus on all the things that are unpleasant,

Wrong,

Or painful in your life,

That's what gets reflected back.

Likewise,

If we practice things like gratitude,

And are careful about the memes and energies to which we are exposed,

Other seeds will take root.

And if we consistently water and nourish those roots,

More and more of what is possible will open up for us in ways we could not even have imagined.

We are merely doing our best to live in abidance with the qualities required to be open to receiving the love and the healing self always has in store for us.

I hope all this is clear now,

The difference between the little S self-care and capital S self-care.

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Reviews

Very powerful wisdom, helping to lift me out of the egoic self during a challenging time, and feel lighter and more hopeful.

Wonderful clear description of the challenges we face living our lives driven by the egoic self. Fresh view on the shadow qualities. Thank you!

Deep wisdom and truths delivered is such a soothing voice. You’ll want to listen all the way through and more than once to catch it all. Don’t be deceived by what you might think starts out simply.