Okay,
Welcome to the excessive lover energy.
An excessive lover might show up in the world as the overbearing parent,
The partner who has an anxious attachment style,
Maybe the philanthropist who can always give but can't receive.
And some of these qualities might be poor boundaries,
Overcommitment,
Blind trust,
Unhealthy attachments.
In some way,
Shape or form,
The excessive lover tends to give and have their energy drained,
Maybe sacrifice or be a martyr in some way.
But they have a hard time receiving,
A hard time having love for themselves and finding balance.
So if you notice any of these qualities inside yourself on occasion,
Then this is gonna be a great opportunity in this meditation to reflect on those energies and those patterns,
And maybe start to peel back some of the layers,
Start to release some of the energy and find balance with your inner lover.
So let's go ahead and do that.
And even just meditating is a form of giving to ourselves.
So as you sit and close your eyes here with me right now,
I want you to recognize that,
That meditation is about giving to yourself and that it's okay to put yourself first.
So take a deep breath,
Eyes closed,
Relax your shoulders,
And let's step into meditation together.
Good.
Draw your awareness behind your eyes.
Let's turn the lights on in our internal space.
We're so used to looking outwardly.
The excessive lover is very often used to looking outwardly.
So hit the light switch.
Let's start to look inwards.
And what I'd like you to do is notice on the screen of your mind's eye.
So if you are looking forward from the center of your head,
You kind of turn on a,
Maybe a TV screen or an IMAX,
Or perhaps the background is just the stars or the sky.
And on the screen of this mind's eye,
What I'd like you to do is allow a memory,
A moment in your life where you behaved as an excessive lover to come up.
So you can see the film strip,
See the memories.
It might be one image or it might be several from one moment in time.
Somewhere where you had poor boundaries,
Idealistic trust,
Blind trust,
A moment where you gave excessively but didn't allow yourself to receive.
Allow a moment in time to arise where your lover was in excess.
Let's say in an unhealthy way.
We're not talking about just over-cuddling a puppy.
That's great.
I mean,
Something where you gave and didn't receive,
Where you sacrificed too much,
Where your energy was drained,
Where you didn't feel good after.
As you find that moment in time,
I want you to notice the energy,
The emotion around it.
Perhaps you take a look at it to recognize why you behave that way.
Was it a learned pattern?
Were you looking for validation externally or love?
Did you think that was the right way to do things?
Or if you have boundaries,
That means you really don't love the person.
See if you can get a sense of the underlying reason for that behavior.
And not with any judgment,
Just an awareness.
And sometimes in moments like these,
There's a sticky emotion or an old feeling,
Something unprocessed that's still there.
Maybe self-judgment,
Why did I do it that way?
Why do I always trust blindly or have poor boundaries?
Just notice whatever you notice,
Whatever is kind of sticky.
And you may actually even see it on the memory.
Like if you look at a picture and there's a stain of some kind or a shadow or a cloud,
You might see the feeling or see the energy on the image.
Or you might just have a sense of it.
And this is the part where we really start to make progress in meditation.
So I want you to look at that and see if you can look at it with a sense of deep compassion.
Oh,
I was unconscious in the moment.
I learned that from my parents.
I thought I would get love that way.
I wanted my self-worth to go up by other people liking me.
Allow yourself to be really honest here for a moment.
The heart grows through honesty and authenticity.
So start by being honest and real with yourself.
And I know that looking at these things can be difficult,
But so can the pain of not looking at them and living with them.
And as you look at this energy on this image,
On this memory,
Perhaps some of the energy starts to drain off.
As you recognize an old pattern,
Maybe it almost peels off.
You could feel it coming off of you.
Like,
Oh,
Heaviness or distortion or confusion or sadness.
As you let yourself process the emotion and the feeling,
It may start to shift.
Notice what happens when you're present with the energy,
Honest.
When you look at it directly,
Can you let yourself start to process the feelings?
Often an excessive lover feels a lot of responsibility,
That they owe someone,
That their only value is in giving or sacrificing.
If you notice any of those energies,
Can you let them arise and then begin to melt off?
Somewhere inside you,
There is a balanced lover,
The lover that has boundaries,
The lover that could give love and receive love,
The lover that knows the difference between toxic relationships and healthy relationships.
And the lover that knows everything is not about them,
And it's also not just about us,
It's about everyone.
So there's a sense of self-love and self-worth here as you're meditating.
Let any more of that energy come off of this memory of this image or images.
Recognize you can have balance with your heart.
And there's this subtle part of meditating,
It's very energetic,
It's subtle.
You may just notice a shift.
When we're quiet and still,
And we watch and process,
Sometimes there's just a shift.
Any last energy,
Let it move.
Let this memory really teach you what it's meant to teach you.
And then you could slowly file it back away into your memory bank,
All cleaned up.
Maybe you just kind of wipe it off and then put it away.
Feel your energetic heart center in the center of your chest,
Feel it come back to balance.
Love is an incredibly powerful force.
You wanna give it and receive it in a healthy way.
You're deserving of love,
And so are others.
They're deserving of your love.
Own that energy for yourself.
Take a deep breath in,
A healthy,
Soft sigh out.
And when you're ready,
You can stretch and open your eyes.
Great work as always.
Go out there and be a healthy lover.
And I will see you in the next meditation.
Be well.
