The Excessive Healer

This meditation is for all the over-givers and fixers out there—the part of you that tries to heal everyone else while quietly running on empty. The excessive healer energy often shows up as poor boundaries, emotional exhaustion, or that subtle belief that your worth is tied to how much you help. In this session, we’ll gently explore where that pattern comes from and begin to shift it toward balance and self-compassion. Because sometimes the most healing thing you can do… is stop trying to heal everyone.

Let’s sit down together, breathe, and take the pressure off.

Transcript

Hi, My name's David and I'm an excessive healer in recovery. Welcome to this meditation on the excessive healer. In the Seven Energies of the Soul book, I share this story about how when I was a kid in school, Kids would, Other kids would be horsing around and not paying attention to the teacher and I would get this feeling in my gut. I was like, Oh, Can't you see you're hurting her feelings? Stop it. Pay attention. To this day, If I'm at like a musical or comedy show or any kind of performance and people are talking, I get uncomfortable. I have this sense of don't hurt their feelings while they're on stage performing and in other scenarios as well. And for me growing up, Looking back, I realized part of that was being excessively sensitive to energy and maybe overly empathic. And this is a tendency and energy that many of my students fall into, The excessive healer. And it can take many forms. So this constant need to fix others, It may lead to uncontrollable anxiety and worry. This kind of a tendency to absorb other people's pain, A belief that you can fix everything or always trying to fix or heal everything and everyone may be the excessive healer in you. You may attract a lot of people in pain into your life, Get drawn into drama. You may have really poor boundaries with people who want your energy, Or you might suffer from the savior complex. I'm going to save everyone all the time. So in whatever form this energy takes, The excessive healer has an excessive amount of outflow of their own healer energy, And it may drain them. You may be an excessive healer because you like the validation. That's where you find your sense of purpose and where you get people to like you. But in some way, Shape or form, It's creating an imbalance in who you are, In your energy. So let's jump into meditation and fix the crap out of ourselves. Just kidding, Making sure you're still with me. But go ahead, Close your eyes. Let's step into meditation and find balance with this excessiveness in our healer energy. As you take a few deep breaths, As you relax your body head to toe, As you kind of surrender yourself into this moment, I want you to recognize you're here to find a sense of balance with your own inner healer. We all have an inner healer, And if there's a part of you that's in excess with this energy today in this meditation, You must start to bring it into balance. So draw your awareness and your attention behind your eyes into the center of your head. And I'd like you to just allow one area of your life where you recognize you have excessive healer tendencies to just kind of come up into your mind's eye. You may see an image or you may just feel and sense that area of my life, Around boundaries, Around giving, Around needing validation of being a healer. Just take a moment and choose one. Once you get a sense of what this dynamic is, Ask yourself what's causing you to go in that direction, To excessively heal in some shape or form? What created the pattern of behavior, The point of view? Just as some examples, If I heal and fix everyone else, I'll be safe, Or the people I love will be safe, Or my personal value isn't how much I help and heal others, Or to not have boundaries is to show you love someone. To absorb others' pain is to show you care. I think that was enough examples. What is it for you? One of the first things that happens when we start to recognize a pattern in ourselves is self-judgment, That immediately this pattern is bad or I'm bad. See if you can let go of any of that judgment. You're not bad, You may just have excessive healer tendencies, You care. There's nothing wrong with caring and trying to help. We're just looking for balance here, We're looking for healthy boundaries. Sometimes to be a great healer, It means to not heal someone else, To just give them space and let them deal with their pain so they can learn and grow. It doesn't mean always fixing everything for everyone, So maybe there's a realization here for you of some kind. As you begin to mature more and more into a healthy, Grounded healer, You're just noticing where you're in deficiency, Where you're in excess, Where you're not stepping into your power and starting to shift those energies. And not in a, I'm going to make myself perfect kind of way, In a very natural way when it comes to growth. Can you lower the volume on needing to fix and heal everyone around you? Can you be okay with having healthy boundaries? Can you let other people have their pain so they can learn from it? And if you're like, David, I can't. Well, Then that's why we're here. You can let go of the energy of, I can't. See if you could shed a layer of whatever has been perpetuating the excessive healer in you. Let it melt off of you. Feel your energy start to shift. When we heal, There's a shift of energy that happens. Sometimes it's subtle and slow, And sometimes it's quick. It almost happens on its own accord. Feel any of that excess energy just drain off of you. Notice you're starting to come back into balance, That you can be a grounded, Healthy healer in whatever form that wants to take. Maybe you fix cars, Maybe you mend hearts, Maybe you hold space for trauma. You could do it in a grounded, Healthy way, In a very compassionate way. You can heal yourself and you can heal others. Embrace that healer in you. It's a gift, It's a miracle. It's a way of connecting. We all have issues. Every single human being on this planet has issues that need healing. And as we step into our healer, We learn to have compassion for ourselves and for everyone else, And to give everyone space. Non-judgmental, Compassionate space. Take a nice, Big, Deep breath in. Easy, Soft, Sigh out. And when you're ready, You can slowly open your eyes. Thank you for sitting with me in this meditation as always, And I will see you in the next one.

Reviews

So relatable. Thank you, David 🙏🏻💕

Exactly what I needed to hear today as I struggle with my tendency to want to fix and heal everything. My boundaries have improved a lot, but the need is still there. Thank you so much, David. I love your matter of fact approach and your humor. 🙏🏻💚

Interesting… was thinking about my friend who is so supportive to all. And also one other. I guess I tend to be too on the whole but not so much of late as I have issues myself unresolved. Stuff that was basically thrown at me out of the blue which is just really unfortunate. Umm… how to resolve those and that… that is the question. Some people I just can’t fathom but would like to for my own sanity. Tricky.
Thanks David, always a pleasure.

Thank you for creating the space. I am a teacher on summer break and this really resonated with me. I'll be coming back to it often. 💜

Fantastic! As someone with a "healer" personality, I often find myself on a teeter totter - trying to help where I can, while not getting overwhelmed. Thank you!