Talk: The 3 Principles For Meditation Practice

In this short talk, David describes the three essential principles for having a grounded meditation practice. If you've been looking for some inspiration and structure, come sit, and apply these energies to your meditation and life.

Transcript

Hey meditator,

When I was a kid and I started meditating I was 16 and I grew up in the suburbs in New Jersey in the United States right outside of New York City.

And I didn't even meet another meditator for four years or five years until after I started.

There were no apps,

There was no YouTube yet.

All I had were books.

I wish I had a platform like this when I was growing up,

When I was just getting started.

But luckily I have it now and so do you.

So let's jump right in.

One of my favorite meditation teachers,

The Buddhist monk,

Pema Shodron,

Says that nothing goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.

And I use that quote in my Insight Timer course called Learning from the Masters and I think it's one of the most powerful meditation prompts there is.

Most people on earth suffer from the same thing,

A noisy mind.

If you're here on Insight Timer,

If you're looking to grow into your meditation practice,

It's probably at least partially because there's a lot going on in your head.

And don't worry,

You are not alone.

There are more than 16 million meditators on Insight Timer who are also probably trying to let go of some of the noise in their heads.

And because it's so common,

It's almost like we don't realize how prevalent and how disturbing that noise is.

Nothing goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.

So when we close our eyes to meditate,

What usually happens first,

All of the noise comes up and then meditating isn't fun.

We don't like it.

We want to get up.

We get frustrated.

We get irritated.

We think we're bad at it.

It's really common for people to quit meditating because they think they're not good at it or because they get bored or because there's just too much noise.

But if we can remember this teaching,

Nothing goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.

Then as we're meditating and this looping ruminating set of thoughts comes around again and again,

Almost like a merry-go-round,

You have a moment of peace and then it comes back again and then there's some space and it comes back again.

So in meditation,

We don't have to ignore our thoughts or our feelings.

We actually might need to acknowledge them,

Respect them,

Accept them,

Understand where they're coming from.

So if you go to meditate and you have a ruminating sequence of thoughts that's been bothering you for days or weeks or even months or years,

You can use your meditation time to look at what the underlying emotion or energy is,

What the underlying teaching is,

What life is trying to show you that won't go away until you learn from it.

And I think that's a very powerful approach to meditation and one that I try to use myself.

So perhaps next time you sit,

If there is a theme that's been coming up for you again and again,

Maybe you can actually face it and see what happens.

And so the most common question I get after I say that is,

Well,

David,

How do I actually face it and let go of what's holding me back or what's keeping me stuck or frustrated or confused?

And that really is the big question and that's why there are so many meditation techniques,

So many teachers,

So many styles,

Because no one technique works for everybody because we're all wired different.

We all come from different backgrounds and have different life experiences and energetically we lean in different directions.

But that being said,

I think there are some fundamentals that no matter what meditation style you are practicing,

You can apply to help you let go of energy,

To help you let go of attachment or confusion or frustration.

So I'm going to just lay out three.

Number one,

Radical honesty.

And when I say honesty,

I mean being honest with yourself,

Honest with your feelings,

Honest with your thoughts,

Not trying to override them.

And that seems really simple and it is,

But it's not necessarily easy.

So next time you close your eyes to meditate,

Can you be radically honest?

Be honest with how you feel,

What you see in your mind's eye and just sit with it.

So number one is being honest.

Number two is having the attitude of non-judgment.

Usually when we have what we would call a negative thought or a negative feeling,

We immediately judge it.

Ah,

That was an ugly thought.

That was a stupid thought.

I have no control over my thoughts.

I'm not a good meditator.

I'm a bad partner.

I'm not great at business.

I'm not as enlightened as the Buddha,

Whatever it is.

Can you approach your thoughts and your feelings with a level of non-judgment?

Can you even not have judgment around where you have judgment?

So number one,

Radical self-honesty.

Number two,

Non-judgment.

And number three,

Compassion.

We all have pain.

We've all suffered.

We've all gone through dark times,

The dark night of the soul,

Deep,

Difficult situations.

And we've watched other people in our lives go through them as well.

So can we have compassion?

Can you have compassion for yourself?

Recognize that nothing goes away until you learn what it's here to teach you and have compassion for that process.

There's not something wrong with you.

You're just growing.

So number one,

Radical self-honesty when we meditate.

Number two,

A non-judgmental acceptance.

And number three,

Compassion.

And when we put those three together,

Our self-worth,

Our value begins to rise.

We learn how to validate ourselves and realize we're not on this planet being punished.

We're here learning and growing.

And so is everybody else.

And with that,

You might find a deep sense of inner peace and go,

Hey,

This meditation thing isn't so bad.

I kind of like it.

And the people around you might go,

Hey,

Your energy has changed.

You look more relaxed.

You look happier.

What happened to you?

And you say,

Ah,

Insight timer,

I wish you the best and I'll see you soon.

Reviews

Great talk of reassurance. We often forget that there is no wrong way to meditate.
🙏🏼

I loved this! It helped me to see my thoughts and emotions more clearly. Thank you! 💙

His calming energy comes through well in his voice; the advice is practical for the task at hand. More in the ‘guide the thoughts’ side than ‘clear the mind of thoughts,’ but each certainly have their place and use. He’s good.

Thanks, David. I love this. Welcome reminder that meditation is a simple, not simplistic, path to growth and betterment. It used to be said, Self-actualisation. What's actual is real and now.
Non-judgment can be a tricky one. I recall a teacher from many years ago counselling on the subject. He referred to 'people who look down on people who look down on people'. That one has caught me out a fair few times. 🙏🏻💞

Love the nothing goes away until you learn what you need from it

Simple, concise, welcoming and highly useful! 🙏...thank you for this offering...🕉

Be Honest with yourself
No judgment
Compassion
🙏🏻 Thanks David!

Beautiful and simple suggestions!

Thank you David 💫

This is like the paradox of life, the simplest thing, the most difficult. Explained so beautifully. Thank you David! 💗💗

My favorite thing about David Gandleman (apart from his wonderfully silly sense of humor) is how he simplifies meditation. In this talk, he breaks it down to 3 components: honesty, non-judgement and compassion. I always feel lighter after listening to David ☀️🙏🏼❤️

I love everything you say . And I couldn't agree more with needing all 3 of these 💜

Insightful and helpful. May you have a beautiful day. Thank you

Excellent! That self-compassion can be a tough one to learn. Thank you for that reminder, David!

thank you and namaste

Thank you David. Short and powerful guidance delivered with clarity and kindness. I am grateful for this talk.

thanks for the guidelines

very important, though its fundamental. many blessings

David, thank you for taking the time to put your wisdom into this talk and sharing it! Your talk really summarized and simplified what a successful meditation practice is and can do in our lives. I am not new to meditation and I am by far not an experienced meditator I think. I have been practicing more and more during these times of great change. I see your 3 principles as very true and relevant. I also want to say I like how you were laughing at times during the talk and the bit of humor you sprinkled in there is great energy to go with the wisdom. You inspired me today to set aside time just to do a meditation today to a. Acknowledge my busy thoughts. To B. Not judge each thought but recognize it , sit with it and let each one pass by. To investigate a bit ... dive down under the thought. Then to c. Nurture that driving need that underlies it and show compassion for it. I want to acknowledge your wisdom, your good heart, and your light! Thank you and I look forward to more talks from you. Namaste David.

Loved your live talk on this teaching this week on IT 🙏🏼❤️