Good evening and welcome to this meditation called Guilty Sleep.
And you should feel bad about going to sleep because you have so much to do.
All the time,
Forever,
Until the end of time.
And sleep is kind of this thing that's in the way that's unavoidable.
The word guilt is linguistically related to the word debt.
Often we feel bad because we feel like we owe someone something.
Maybe we feel like we weren't a good partner,
Friend,
Parent,
Co-worker.
That we need to do more,
That we need to be better in some way.
And that pull towards perfection,
Towards needing to get things done,
Towards owing someone something,
Doesn't really lend itself well to letting us fall asleep and to rest deeply,
Does it?
So instead of falling asleep guilty,
What's probably better is that we fall asleep finding someone to blame.
And they should feel guilty.
Just seeing if you're still paying attention.
Though if you haven't yet,
Go ahead and close your eyes.
Take a really good deep breath into your body.
See if you feel guilty just around having such good oxygen.
And let yourself really breathe out the day.
In every day that we live there are things that we don't complete,
That we can't finish,
That don't find resolution.
And we kind of go to bed with these untied knots.
And guilt is a feeling that we'll find somewhere lurking in our lower body,
In the abdomen,
In our sensual space.
It's like this relative that kind of looms around pointing at things,
Making us feel bad.
But I invite you as you fall asleep to start to become aware if there's any of that and just to see if you can let it go.
There's no need to poison your sleep or your dream time with a sense of inadequacy,
Invalidation or guilt.
It's not going to help you or anybody else in your life.
Perhaps you've been punishing yourself.
Maybe you've been too hard on yourself or wanted to be perfect in some way.
And that keeps you from just letting go and resting.
Let yourself melt deeper into your bed,
Deeper into darkness and deeper into stillness.
Sometimes we feel bad about who we are,
About being happy,
About falling asleep in a safe,
Comfortable bed.
We can even be embarrassed that everything is okay.
But allow everything to be okay.
Right now it is okay.
If we can't accept ourselves,
We won't let ourselves rest.
Can you accept who you are,
How you feel,
How you walked through your day today,
And now how you step into your dream time?
There is almost this award that we feel like we get in our society.
If we sleep less and work more,
A badge of honor.
Can you just let yourself have being rested instead?
Can you come out in the morning awake and happy and let the world see that?
Let the world see that you are happy and not guilty.
You can own who you are and how you feel.
Let yourself begin to dissolve into that sea of deep sleep where there is no judgment,
Where there is no right or wrong,
Where there is no guilt,
Where there is only rest and peace.
Perhaps in that rest and peace you even find some healing,
Some deep inner healing.
See,
If there is anywhere in your body you are still holding tension.
Anywhere you are still holding a feeling of inadequacy or guilt.
Let it begin to melt off.
As we fall asleep there are no should've's or could've's.
And there is nothing else you need to do today whatsoever.
Nothing.
Allow yourself to do nothing.
Really give yourself permission to rest.
Just rest.
And you let yourself love yourself resting.
There is a beauty in rest.
Breathe into that rest and sleep well.
Satsang withесп You you
