How many times have you experienced mental loops that take you over for days or even weeks?
Thinking about the same thing over and over and over again?
Having imaginary conversations in the shower?
Or spending hours rehearsing conversations that actually never happen?
I was wasting hours of my time and extremely precious energy thinking about a person or a situation without ever fully coming to a resolution.
Cue mental loops.
It's a type of gymnastics we do in our mind,
Sometimes without even realizing it.
Let me explain to you what they actually are.
It's our mind trying to solve an equation of sorts,
But instead of numbers,
It's with humans and situations.
Whether that be a relationship,
A job,
Or a family member,
It all starts the same way.
Something happens.
Someone says or does something that sets off a trigger in our mind.
And then the mind will do anything,
No matter how relentless,
In order to solve it.
But the truth is,
Sometimes we can't solve things on our own.
And no amount of ruminating or thinking about it is ever going to get us to the point where we feel okay enough to let it go.
I used to think the problem was my mind,
But I realized that wasn't true.
There was nothing wrong with my mind.
My mind was just trying to help.
The real problem is,
Sometimes we're around people who don't intend to understand us.
They do not seek conflict resolution.
They do not have the intention to show us love or give us enough presence to collaborate.
So we end up in a never-ending loop.
So many times I've been told to just let it be,
Or to get over it.
Newsflash,
If that were an option,
I would.
This isn't elective.
I'm not choosing to be in a mental loop.
It's just happening,
And I'm witnessing it.
But have no fear.
I have an answer that I can share with you that helped me so much.
It's to recognize the people who are healthy for you,
And the ones who are not.
A healthy person will not leave you in a situation where your mind has to loop for days on end just to resolve what happens.
Healthy people do not leave you hanging.
When you're in environments and in relationships with people who have good intentions,
People who seek to understand you and speak openly with you,
You won't find yourself stuck in mental loops.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is,
It's not your mind that's the problem.
It's the places and the people you're with.
So if you're struggling with mental loops,
Please do not think anything is wrong with you.
Instead,
Start noticing where you are and who you're with when the loops start.
That will give you the key to reducing them.
I can proudly say I'm a recovered mental lupus,
And if I can do it,
I know anyone else can too.
