It wasn't until my daughter's 18th birthday when I paused and reflected on
How far we had come.
In the years prior,
I remember feeling so overwhelmed,
Lost,
And even in denial every now and then.
I recall the years of feeling isolated
From family and friends because they didn't understand what we were going
Through as a family that had a child with special needs.
Our immediate family
Including cousins,
Aunts,
And grandparents couldn't grasp the concept
Of what it was like to raise a child that had special needs.
They didn't
Understand because my daughter was the first in our immediate family that had
These unique needs.
Many days and many nights,
I tirelessly tried to explain to
Our family about the ins and outs of autism.
They didn't get it,
Not even
After 18 years.
Something transformed within me once my daughter turned 18.
I developed this radical acceptance that it is what it is going to be.
She wasn't
Going to attend college because she was considered to be an incapacitated adult.
She was going to reside with my husband and I for as long as we were alive.
She
Is free to live life on her own terms and her terms are not the same as
Others that are in her age group.
Living life on her own terms is waking up in
The morning free from being bullied and tormented.
Living life on her own terms
Is her choosing to take countless photos from day to day on her iPad rather than
Feeling the pressure of choosing a career or a major.
Living life on her own
Terms is her living a life of gratitude and showing love to her siblings
Because her siblings are her only true friends.
Although the journey has been
Painfully challenging at times,
I have learned peace,
Patience,
Resilience,
And
Accepting what is not within my control.
I used to wonder why did I have to go
Through so much suffering and heartache with my firstborn child.
I no longer
Question the hand that I was dealt but instead I focus on our present.
Each
Moment has been worthwhile even when I didn't express gratitude or fully
Understand the reason why we were experiencing such hardships.
I have
Learned the power of unconditional love and compassion through my daughter's
Lens of life.
My message to the parents and caregivers of a child that has
Special needs or children is to never give up hope.
Stay present.
There is
Something to be grateful for regardless of the circumstance.
Namaste.
