I wanted to share a few thoughts with you about acceptance,
Because in the last few weeks it's reminded me how quickly plans can be disrupted.
So for me,
I recently had a lot of illness,
Family challenges,
Unplanned changes,
Business problems,
Technology problems,
And somehow it all happened at the same time.
And I noticed how much heavier everything felt on those days where I fought reality,
Compared to those moments when I actually allowed myself to meet the circumstances with presence and awareness.
Maybe you recognize that in yourself as well,
How much you might carry a lot more tension than the moment truly needs.
It's not always the events themselves that end up weighing us down,
But the inner struggle against them.
Do you recognize times when you might replay what went wrong,
Or anticipate what could go wrong,
Or maybe even try to force outcomes that you can't control?
Most of us have a tendency to do that,
But in doing so we're piling the stress upon existing stress and pretty much exhausting our energy and fogging up any last remnants of our mental clarity.
I had to remind myself in the last few weeks that acceptance is not giving up.
It's often misunderstood as passive resignation,
But what if it were something entirely different?
What if acceptance were a conscious choice,
A way to step out of that constant friction and make space for clarity,
Presence,
Resilience?
I think of it as an attempt to hold back something that we can't possibly hold back,
Like the ocean's tide for example.
Bracing and pushing against it with all our strength,
But the water just continues to flow.
And that's like our inner struggle.
As much as we may fight and resist and struggle against what's happening,
It's very unlikely to stop the tide.
It will only wear us down.
So if you imagine instead standing in that water,
In that ocean,
With awareness and presence and letting the tide move around you without surrendering your footing,
Then you're not giving up,
But you are choosing where to put your energy.
So I recognized how I felt so much different on the days where I was fighting reality.
When I allowed that presence and awareness instead to come in,
That simple shift,
It didn't solve everything or even make me like what was happening,
But it did help me to move through those days with more ease,
In a more focused and present manner,
Just making it a little more manageable.
So there are simple ways that acceptance can be practiced.
The first one,
And this was the one that started for me,
Was recognizing what was here and actually acknowledging it,
Almost saying a little mantra to myself.
You may have heard this said a lot,
It is what it is,
Or you could say this is what's here.
And you may be surprised by the relief that can come from simply acknowledging what's going on and not fighting it in that moment.
There's another practice that you can do,
Which is to exhale in that moment.
The breath is very powerful,
It has an immediate effect on the nervous system.
Just pausing whilst you're possibly thinking that I need to sort this or I should be coping better or questioning why it's happening,
Just pausing and taking one slow mindful breath.
And as you breathe out,
Just imagining that you can release a small percentage of the effort and the struggle.
The last thing that I always find helpful,
And this is why I'm here on Insight Timer,
It's mindfulness meditation.
It always works for me.
And I have a meditation about acceptance.
If you would like to try that out,
Jump into my page where you'll find a gentle meditation that guides you from the struggle into more presence and awareness.
I hope you found this little talk helpful.
I'd love to hear if you have your own personal coping mechanisms for this type of thing when life gets very heavy and difficult.
Thank you for listening.
