Being Present For The Unprotected

In this session, we explore how to support and advocate for others through a guided visualisation. Inspired by a personal experience of being left unprotected in a challenging moment, we reflect on what it means to stand up for colleagues, friends, or communities we may not know personally.

Part meditation, part musing, this session offers tools to prepare for those moments when courage and compassion are most needed.

Transcript

Welcome back to Notes From Within,

A place for a slower rhythm where listening inward is a tool for navigating outward.

A space for clarity,

Presence and expansion.

Part meditation,

Part musing.

Designed for thoughtful leaders and seekers.

So welcome back to another episode of Notes From Within.

Today we'll be doing a visualization that will support you to be there for the unprotected people out there.

Whether this is how we're there for our colleagues in awkward meetings,

For example,

How we stand up for a friend or how we speak up for a community we may not even know personally.

But as leaders and business owners and leaders of teams or leaders of our own lives,

We will find ourselves in situations that require us to support and advocate for others.

This will happen often,

And I'm sure that it has happened to you a few times already.

So this session is inspired actually by a personal experience of mine,

One that was out of a work context,

But made me feel a similar sensation to some of the work context that I had been in before.

So some time ago I was at a group gathering and somebody in the group decided to challenge my right to British citizenship in a pointless,

Accusatory way.

The person who did this knows me really well and everyone in the group also knew me well too.

So it was a very strange situation.

I'll spare you all of the details,

But it's safe to say that I was initially confused,

Given how well I know this person.

But then I became increasingly frustrated as the conversation continued.

I was actually reasonably calm considering what would be a prolonged attack on my identity.

And because I was so well known to this particular person,

It was very,

Very strange.

So I'm actually able to deal with these things quite well.

I have,

You know,

Built up a bank of tools and methods over the years that have protected me from these types of scenarios.

But what struck me as particularly interesting about this situation was the people who were around me who did not speak up.

And that was pretty much everybody.

I can hold my own quite well,

But this took me by surprise that the people who surrounded me I trusted and loved and I know that they trusted and loved me too.

And apart from a few little words here and there that were really not heard,

I was left to defend myself.

And this is a really important point,

I think,

Because often we'll focus on the person who is saying the things that are hurting others.

But it's also interesting to see how the room engages and not only just how the person who is impacted engages.

Because what I realized in a situation like that is that often people,

Whether it's leaders or problematic friends or complete random strangers who are impolite,

That they will go for the people who are unprotected.

And they already know the audience well,

So they knew that I would be left to defend myself.

I was essentially an easy target.

I wasn't a weak target because I would answer back,

But I was a target who they were sure would be left to defend themselves.

And that,

For me,

Is something that we don't think about as often as we should.

Because really,

Everybody else who was in the room and in that space has an opportunity,

And some would say an obligation,

To do something to defuse the situation.

And I think we all find ourselves in these moments where we're not sure how to defend others.

Or our frustration and our own emotions come to the surface in a way that means we're not able to respond appropriately.

And therefore we're so worried to speak up because we know that we're going to be in reaction mode.

And we all find ourselves in rooms and meetings where we're dreading a particular leader,

A particular family member,

Or maybe even a volatile friend.

And we know the kind of people who would raise controversial topics or be unreasonable.

But what do we do in these moments?

And how do we better prepare ourselves for these moments that we know are going to come?

So we're going to be doing a visualisation now that will support us to pre-empt these scenarios and practise what our behaviour might look like.

So that when it happens,

But when it happens again,

That we're better equipped to be there to defend others in those situations.

So let's find a comfortable seated position.

Or if you're walking,

Just be mindful that doing this visualisation while you're walking might be a little bit harder.

But not impossible.

So we'll start by taking a nice deep breath in through your nose.

And out through your mouth.

Taking another nice deep breath in through your nose.

And out through your mouth.

And if you'd like to,

And if you feel comfortable,

You can gently close your eyes or lower your gaze.

And start to feel yourself relaxing.

Allowing the crown of your head to reach up towards the sky.

And feeling your shoulders rolling down towards the earth.

And now consciously moving your shoulders backwards to create a nice long straight spine.

Feeling your body reaching up towards the sky in confidence and strength.

And noticing how you feel just with these small changes.

And how changes in posture can often give us the strength to say what we'd really like to say.

But also to believe in ourselves and to understand our own power.

So spending a moment here,

Bringing your awareness to your breath.

Not judging your breath,

But simply being aware of your breath.

And noticing that when you bring your awareness to your breath,

Many other things will slip away.

And your focus will be on your inhalations and your exhalations.

And now from this place of deeper calm and inner strength,

I'd like you to bring to your mind a scenario that you can remember.

Where you were in a room,

In a group setting,

Maybe at work or at home or with some friends.

Where you encountered an individual who was being difficult or rude towards somebody else.

To spend a moment finding this situation and bringing it to the forefront of your mind.

And now remind yourself of how this situation felt.

Remind yourself of the remarks that were being made and what role you played within that conversation or exchange.

Once again not judging yourself for what you did or didn't do,

But simply bringing this scenario to the forefront of your mind.

And now in this scenario,

Imagine yourself observing and listening to what is happening with a deep sense of ease and peace within your body.

Imagine that your shoulders are strong and rolled back.

And that you're sitting with your spine nice and straight.

And that you're fully focused on the words that are being said.

And as you hear these words and you recognize their impact.

You allow yourself to absorb some of this impact from the person who is essentially under attack.

And as you listen,

You notice that your frustration levels are not increasing.

You notice that you have a clear mind.

You notice that you are able to recognize the situation for what it is.

And you notice that you are able to understand who is attacking and who is under attack.

All of this becomes clear to you in an instant.

And now imagine yourself spending a moment to find a way to interject peacefully.

Or to join the conversation with ease.

Imagine yourself asking an important question.

Gently challenging.

And also ensuring that the person who needs help sees your eye contact.

Recognizes your calm and clear focus.

And feels that support is coming or support has arrived.

And from this place of clarity,

You find a way to respond.

And you get to decide what this is.

What you say.

How you say it.

Or maybe even how you said it.

And imagine yourself saying what you need to say.

From a place of respect.

Honesty.

But also from a place of power and strength.

And as you notice the atmosphere in the room shifting and changing because of your words.

Your support.

Notice how the situation starts to melt away.

Feeling a sense of everybody being okay.

Feeling a sense of being part of shifting minds and hearts.

And knowing that because of you,

Everybody or at least most people within this scenario,

Will leave knowing that they have been heard.

They have been understood.

Or maybe having been corrected.

And that is okay too.

So allowing this scenario to drift away,

To melt back into the ether.

Allow yourself to feel what it feels like to have been part of this moment.

Defending those who are undefended.

So bringing your awareness back to your breath.

And taking a nice deep breath in through your nose.

And out through your mouth.

Taking another nice deep breath in through your nose.

And out through your mouth.

And if you've been sitting still for a while,

Bringing some gentle movement to your fingers and your toes.

Feeling yourself reconnecting.

And when you feel ready,

You can gently,

Gently open your eyes.

So thank you for joining me today with this visualization.

Which is a powerful way for you to practice scenarios before they actually happen.

And because our minds often don't know the difference between practice and reality.

Then we're really training ourselves quite genuinely to deal with situations in ways that we hope to,

We wish to and that we will.

So feel free to save this session and return to it whenever you need to.

Until next time,

May your rhythm be slower,

Your awareness run deeper and your actions grounded in ease.