This is a guided visualization to help you strengthen your emotional boundaries.
So take a moment to settle into whatever posture you're in.
Be comfortable.
Take a deep breath and bring your attention to this moment right here,
Right now.
Feel your body expand on the inhale and feel the exhale as a relaxation throughout your whole body.
So taking just a moment to be very aware of your physical surroundings.
You might even just take a moment and look around behind you.
Look up above you.
Feel your seat in the chair.
Notice what sounds are around you.
Notice anything you might smell.
Really feeling your physical presence.
Now I'd like you to feel the space around you that's really your personal boundary.
Usually it's around two to three feet around us in almost every direction.
So when we are with other people or talking to somebody else,
We naturally keep a physical distance that we're comfortable with.
And this can vary by person.
And then obviously it also varies by relationship.
So you have your physical boundary when you're with people you know,
But not super well.
And then there might be those people that you let much closer to you,
Your loved ones.
And there might be people you want to keep a little further away.
So just bring this sort of physical manifestation of your comfort level to mind and visualize that space around you.
So I'd like you to give that space around yourself a color,
See-through,
Like it's a see-through color.
It might even just be a very light tint.
You can see it almost as a different light and bubble surrounding yourself.
So seeing this bubble around you of your personal space,
I would like you to bring to mind whatever emotions you happen to be feeling.
And you can feel your emotions both internally and sort of in your space.
And these emotions in your space are yours to take care of.
You can modulate.
You can learn to modulate your emotions.
You can learn to understand them.
You can learn to accept them.
They're in your bubble and you're responsible for those emotions.
Now I'd like you to bring to mind somebody else in your life and maybe somebody who you tend to take care of,
Someone you tend to get a bit enmeshed with.
And I'd like you to picture them sitting in a chair across the room from you.
So separate from you,
Not touching you or your bubble,
They're in their own chair.
And picture them with their bubble around them.
They have a physical space that's their personal boundary space and they have emotions that are theirs to take care of.
So picturing yourself sitting in your chair with your space around you and picturing this person in your life who's in their own chair with their own physical and emotional boundary bubble around them.
And you can give their boundary bubble a color,
A see-through color,
A tinted light.
And notice how that feels for you to see them separate with their own bubble.
And let's say this person in your life is struggling with a particular emotion.
Let's say they're sad or anxious or angry.
I'd like you to picture within their emotional bubble,
They are feeling that emotion.
And you in your bubble might be feeling an emotion about the emotion they're feeling.
So if it's somebody who's angry,
Your feeling might be anxiety,
In which case in your emotional bubble,
You feel anxious.
You see that in their emotional boundary,
They feel anger or maybe they feel sad.
And if you love them and you don't want them to feel sad,
Notice that is your feeling in your bubble.
Or maybe if they're sad,
That might make you anxious as well.
So just notice what emotion you have when you think about them having an emotion.
And as you're doing this,
You are picturing each of you in your emotional bubble separate from each other.
Your bubbles are not touching,
They are apart,
There is space in between.
And just bring to mind that whatever emotion they are feeling in their bubble is their emotion to take care of.
It's their emotion to understand.
It's their emotion to accept.
It is not your responsibility to take care of their emotion.
And as I say that,
Notice what you feel when you hear me say that.
Notice if there's resistance to what I said or if it makes you feel relief.
Just notice if there's a feeling that comes up when you hear me say or when you think that's not my emotion to take care of,
That is their emotion.
They're the only one who can truly care for their own emotions.
Now this does not mean we can't do something nice for somebody that we love who's sad.
And if you are feeling empathy and you're feeling concern and there is an action that you can take that's nice and you would like to do it,
That's fine.
You can even picture yourself doing it.
But if it is a feeling of anxiety or a feeling of responsibility that you're having that's driving you to take that action,
Know that it's your job to take care of your anxiety,
To take care of the feeling that you are having that's driving that behavior.
And also know we can do something nice for somebody and it might not have a huge impact.
It might not change for any kind of extended period of times how they feel.
And as you think of that,
You might have an emotion.
So being very clear on what are your emotions and what are your emotions to take care of is very helpful in beginning to have better emotional boundaries and really visualizing that these emotions that you are having are in your bubble and the emotions that this other person is having are in their bubble and bringing to mind that when we are having an emotion that we don't really like,
Say anxiety or stress,
We know it can be hard to take care of our own emotions.
It can be hard to shift our own emotions.
So how can we think that we can shift somebody else's emotions?
And our work is on taking care of our feelings,
Emotionally regulating ourselves while being kind and caring companions,
But that's not taking care of their emotion or thinking it's your responsibility to take care of that emotion.
I truly hope this was helpful for you.
Comment below,
Let me know.
And this is a visualization and meditation that you can learn to do on your own anytime you might feel that you're getting overly enmeshed or overly involved in somebody else's emotional realm.
