Neglect: What Have I Neglected?

This talk begins with a short story followed by quotes to support a deeper dive into the topic of neglect. Multitasking may be celebrated; however, some things must give with all that we juggle in life. We explore how kindness does not cost anything and to apply yourself fully with each task to demonstrate who you are. Tired? Voice your why. Deep dive into this wholesome, creative reflection with Robert Halley and awaken to what you could benefit the most with your time and attention.

Transcript

Welcome everyone to this unique moment in time.

I have something special for you.

A story,

Some quotes,

Some reflective questions.

Stories are from the dawn of time,

Before books,

Internet,

This,

That.

Imagine people face to face,

Eye to eye,

Heart to heart,

Sharing through words.

Indigenous cultures know this,

May we bring this art back.

Please get comfortable.

Your own chosen posture,

Seated,

Laying down,

Maybe you're even on a walk.

Come as you are.

Find ease in the body temple and freedom in your breath.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Follow the breath and may your thoughts,

Words,

Memories,

Hopes,

Goals,

And dreams,

Smash up against the words shared to dive deeper into what it is to be you.

May it wash through the values,

Beliefs,

And more.

Once upon a time,

There lived a carpenter who had devoted his entire life to his job with building a company.

All throughout the years,

He had remained more faithful to his employer than his wife and family.

The carpenter's behavior had created a wide,

Wide gap between his wife and a wide,

Wide gap between his children too.

He had neglected his life and family and his wife had grown very,

Very bitter towards him.

And their home was neglected and their home was unkept.

One day,

The carpenter realized the error of his ways and that nothing could ever be a substitute for his wife and his family.

Aw.

He had to make a decision,

His home or his job.

And he actually made the decision that he would resign.

On the next morning,

He went to speak to his employer and told him of his plans to leave his job with the aim of enjoying life and spending more time with his wife and extended family.

The employer,

Who was very,

Very sorry to hear this,

His best worker was leaving.

He then asked the carpenter if he would do him a personal favor and stay on just long enough to build just one more house.

The carpenter agreed,

But it was plain to see that his heart was not focused on the job at all.

He used very basic materials and his work in general was so,

So low and such a poor quality.

This was certainly not the way around to round off a career of excellence.

But on completing the task,

The carpenter was met at the new house by his employer who actually handed him the keys to the front door saying,

This is your house.

This is your house.

It's my gift to you.

Visibly shocked,

The carpenter quietly replied,

If I only knew,

If I had known that this house was for me,

I would have done things completely differently.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Let's allow five mindful breaths in silence to see what part of the story hit you,

What's dropping in.

Let's allow five mindful breaths in silence to see what part of the story hit you,

What's dropping in.

Revisit your favorite part of the story.

Revisit any funny parts,

Any touching parts.

What stands out for you?

Yeah,

It's definitely an eye-opening reflection,

Exploring abundance versus a lack mindset.

Based on your perspective,

Where are you looking?

Always do your best.

If you're not gonna do your best,

Why even do it?

Yeah,

Gosh,

There's so much to think about here.

We're in the age of information.

We're also in the age of multitasking.

The internet has made things like so busy.

Of course,

The more you use the internet,

Of course,

The more you make,

The more you want.

All these different themes are coming up,

But the simple truth is wherever you go,

There you are.

Can we live and demonstrate our beliefs and values moment to moment?

Can we focus and bring our best selves wherever,

However?

It's actually beautiful,

The story.

The carpenter identified the value of his wife,

Of his family,

And realized there was a bit of a workaholicism there.

Lord knows we can all relate when we're putting our business or a family before our own health.

It's a juggling act for sure,

And that's why we thrive to do inner work,

Meditating on our own health.

We thrive to do inner work,

Meditating,

Journaling,

Time for yourself to check it before you wreck it.

So it was cool that the carpenter realized that.

However,

If you're already checked out,

Who knows what that final job was for?

This is a really good point in the story because the owner actually gifted him the house that he made.

What a surprise,

Eh?

Who knows?

You never know.

I remember,

So I've performed most of my life,

And with dance companies,

Sometimes you rehearse all year and you just have like three performances,

But for musical theater,

Maybe rehearse for two months,

And then you're literally performing eight shows a week,

Which is hundreds and hundreds of shows if you do a year,

Two-year contract.

I remember that when I performed The Lion King on the West End in London,

England.

You know,

You don't know who's in the audience,

And sometimes you're exhausted,

Literally,

But maybe Julie Taymor was there,

Maybe Garth Fagan was there.

John Legend came once,

I didn't know,

Before I was performing.

Michael Jackson came,

Whitney Houston came,

But even without these names,

You could be performing for someone that has never,

Ever been to the theater before.

You could be performing for someone that it's their very last show on Earth.

I used to perform in a small town,

And the senior homes would come.

It actually got emotional for me,

Like this could be their last show.

So that's what came up for me.

How does this relate to your personal life?

So for me,

That's how it related.

It reminded me of that.

Can we show up with our heart and our full potential when you're tired?

Can you bring your ethics value,

Knowing that you,

You might feel like a little aunt,

A little aunt,

A little worker bee,

But without you,

Things won't get done to that degree.

They may think they're gonna have robots and tech take over,

But you can never take over the human heart.

You can never take over the human heart.

Right?

We might be just ordinary people,

But we're powerful too.

Yes,

Yes.

Yes,

Really good point.

A lack of balance may lead to extreme decisions and not bringing your full self to the present moment.

So interesting,

Eh?

This search and quest for balance.

It's a daily thing.

Did you sleep enough?

Did you drink enough water?

Are you well fed?

Is there balance in your relationship with your attention,

Your personal time,

Your introspection time?

Really good point.

Ah.

May we have a moment,

Even,

That's the power of the five breaths.

Even if it's only when you go to the loo,

Wash your hands,

Look in the mirror.

Where are you?

Who are you?

How are you?

What is off?

Don't feel the pressure of a decision.

May you love yourself enough to,

Ah,

This is not the right decision to make right now.

In a lot of coaching circles,

It's like,

If you're triggered and you're not able to think from the authentic self or from a broader perspective,

There's no crime with shelfing it.

Shelf it,

Maybe in the circumstance of the story,

Maybe the worker could have benefited from a personal day,

A mental health day,

Or maybe it's like,

I'll work five hours strong and hard and then that's it.

So we learn,

We learn through stories.

Yeah,

Impulsive decisions can have consequences that are not part of the authentic soul journey.

Impulsive decisions can be hard,

But if you're not able to live,

Well,

When you're a service worker,

A teacher,

Lord knows my sisters,

Any mothers out there,

Caregivers,

You're juggling,

You're juggling.

Do I have time to eat?

Or is it like the scraps working off of the steam?

It's challenging to bring your best self of influence as a teacher,

As a parent,

Especially at the end of the school year,

I rain down all the extra grit and resilience for those in service like that.

That's why it's about the micro moments as a creative wellness facilitator.

That's what I'm very interested in cultivating more and more.

How can we have these mindful moments,

The little in-betweens to harness with breath,

With movement,

With mindset,

Because you are stronger than you think to move through the grit.

And when you identify what is your role,

What is your value,

You get a little bit more extra.

Let's explore some quotes to further this theme and topic.

I will read each quote twice.

The first one,

Just listen to it,

Let it wash through you.

The second one,

Listen a little more critically and see what words impact you.

Every individual has a backyard where he tends to sweep things under the rug and store things that can be done tomorrow.

The problem is that tomorrow never comes and the dirt piles up.

Every individual has a backyard where he tends to sweep things under the rug and store things that can be done tomorrow.

The problem is tomorrow never comes and the dirt piles up.

This is a quote from Efrat Shani,

An Israeli coach.

Whoa,

Tomorrow never comes.

Yikes.

Ayayay.

But when there's so much to do and you value your mental health and your self-care and eating and sleeping,

There's only so much to do,

So can I just put it in the closet or where's that junk drawer?

Is that why we have 20,

000 photos on our phone and why your friend that you promised for coffee,

It's three years later?

Yeah.

We definitely need to check in with our heart to be able to show up to your fullness.

So what are you sweeping under the rug?

Huh?

Is tomorrow not the best day of the year?

Going to come?

Or is today all we have?

There's no day but today.

This can often bring a lot of pressure too.

And then it gets into the anxiety and this and that.

But what would it be like to pick even just one thing?

One thing,

Knowing that you can't,

You're never going to get it done.

Abraham Hicks talks about this.

You can't get it wrong.

Why am I putting an American accent in?

You can't get it,

You're never going to get it done and you can't get it wrong.

Apply yourself to at least one thing to help with the physical,

The decluttering,

The 3D.

And can you do one thing for your soul,

For your family,

For your values?

And where do you need help?

Serious wake up call with parents getting older.

There may be a lot of clutter,

There may be things that strength is required.

Knowing we're not going to get it all done,

What will help bring some more lightness of being and where can you serve?

All of these reflective things come up.

Second quote,

Because most people are bored with their own affairs,

They choose to meddle in the affairs of others.

Oscar Wilde,

The first quote,

He says,

Oscar Wilde,

Because most people are bored with their own affairs,

They choose to meddle in the affairs of others.

What do you get from that?

I'm not sure of that word,

Meddle.

Maybe it's a British term.

But yeah,

The concept is sometimes you know what you got to do and it's right in front of you.

You might see the boxes of clutter or your desk is a mess or it's very obvious,

But we're influenced by something fresh.

We want to feel fresh,

We want to feel that lightness of being.

So you get distracted by what your friend is doing,

Your neighbor is doing,

You're looking out the windows.

Whoa,

What beautiful flowers and garden.

Wow,

Look at them,

They're jogging.

Yeah,

I know it probably would be good if I exercise a bit more.

There's something about it.

We see it,

But maybe the why is not established.

In coaching,

It's all about the why.

What's the why behind the why?

And it's not your fault.

Honestly,

It's not your fault that maybe you might be neglecting or you don't have the inspiration to take action because we are the result of our habits.

Maybe your environment is not supporting you.

Maybe there's a heaviness with the clutter.

Maybe there's a heaviness with your nutrition,

With who you live with,

The workplace.

So it's not your fault,

But if you know something needs to be done with your health,

With your environment,

With leaving a job,

I bless you.

I pray that you can awaken to the why behind the why.

Why are you not exercising?

Well,

I'm tired.

Well,

Why are you tired?

Because I have three kids and I'm a single parent.

Well,

Why do you have three kids and you're a single parent?

Because I valued my mental health and to not raise kids in an environment with violence.

Do you see what I mean?

You ask the why.

You get the inspiration.

Maybe you need some accountability.

We're just taking thought where thought goes.

So you might be neglecting and avoiding,

But can you release the judgment behind it because there's a reason?

Yeah.

Beautiful.

Yeah,

Lord knows we can be very busy in our own lives.

That's why the whole TV thing,

And it's so easy to get caught up,

Eh?

Interfere.

So,

Middle,

Interfere,

Mess with,

Thank you.

Yeah.

And it's easy to see the outside in.

Yeah,

We don't know what's going on with other people.

Here's another quote.

Let's take a breath.

This is a lot.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

I expect to pass through life but once.

If therefore there be any kindness I can show or any good thing I can do for any fellow being,

Let me do it now and not defer or neglect it as I shall not pass this way again.

Wow.

That quote's by William Penn.

Hear it again.

It's actually quite emotional.

Maybe you want to close your eyes.

I expect to pass through life but once.

If therefore there be any kindness I can show or any good thing I can do to any fellow being,

Let me do it now and not defer or neglect it as I shall not pass this way again.

That one hits for sure.

Wow.

Ooh.

So,

Let's put aside reincarnation.

Let's put aside having another experience and a body.

Let's put all that aside.

Every moment is sacred and divine for you to be and demonstrate who you are.

Yeah,

You may not have loose change to offer.

You may not have food to feed someone who's hungry in those more vulnerable impact moments where there is direct help but can you share a smile?

Can you open a door for someone?

Can you take one more breath and not jump down someone's throat?

Can you be kind?

I remember seeing ads on the highway,

Compassion,

Pass it on.

Yeah,

You saw Mother Teresa and things like that.

We don't have to be a saint to be kind.

I'm getting to know someone and they're actually a kindness ambassador and they shared a quote.

Let's see if I remember it.

Being kind costs nothing,

But being mean costs a lot.

It's true.

Mmm,

Yes.

Kindness costs nothing and we will never run out of it.

Imagine,

You know you're not,

Especially when traveling.

When you're traveling and you might actually never,

Ever,

Ever,

Ever go back to that country,

It helps you be more present because you may never actually see that person again,

Feel that,

Whew.

Even these lives,

Who knows who's here right now?

Who knows with my health,

Your health,

Technology,

You might move time zones and then the lives don't happen.

Can we be kind?

Can we show up and breathe?

Think light thoughts to wish wellness.

Can you wish well for me and I wish well for you?

Heart-centered living.

If you're tired,

Can you be graceful in your exhaustion?

Yes,

You can.

Our last quote for today.

Paying attention to simple little things that most men neglect makes a few men rich.

Henry Ford.

Paying attention to simple little things that most men neglect makes a few men rich.

Mm-hmm.

How does that impact you?

Of course,

Men meaning people,

Humans.

Literally and figuratively,

When you pay attention to little things,

The little things,

The details,

As an artist,

I love details.

As a facilitator,

I love details,

You might have noticed.

It's the people that pay attention to the little things,

They become rich.

Yeah,

Maybe it's an opportunity to be an entrepreneur,

You invent something and you are recognized for your attention too.

But you also become rich when you pay attention to the details of,

Oh,

I noticed when that happened that they felt that way with your relationships,

With yourself.

It's so easy to chatter.

Sometimes people talk,

They call their mom,

Their dad,

Their friend,

Their this,

They watch TV.

You're wondering why you feel that way.

Well,

Can you pay attention to the details?

Did you eat to 100% or did you eat to 75%?

Did you have too much sugar with your meal?

Or,

Hmm,

Did you deplete yourself doing this or that?

Are you neglecting the details and expecting someone else to solve them for you?

Hmm.

This is a very fast-paced life,

But at the same time you can choose,

Can you have the boundaries with your phone,

With computers?

I was talking with my father yesterday,

He's like,

Ah,

It's 10 o'clock already.

I'm like,

Yeah.

He's like,

Where's the time going?

It's just flying by.

And I know,

Because I feel it too,

I'm very ambitious,

But it's been the same time since the dawn of time.

And it's the doingness.

If we be more,

If you have less gold and ambition,

The time's going to be much slower.

Being present is the richness of life.

Living through open hearts and being present.

For this moment is our life.

You'll catch the details,

The flavors of the sensory,

Of the seeing,

Touching,

Hearing,

Smelling and tasting and sensing our sixth dimension.

Mmm.

Yes,

We notice through nature the birds that sing,

The cats that inform.

Maybe you want to get out a journal.

And we close with some questions.

That you may want to reflect later with.

Or as I ask the question,

Maybe just in your meditative state,

You ponder the answer.

Sometimes they don't need to be written down.

What have I neglected and already put out of my mind?

Wow.

Again,

What have I neglected and already put out of my mind?

Mmm.

You might need to sit and be with that.

If it's already out of your mind,

How are you going to find it?

Sometimes it feels so far,

Eh?

It almost feels hopeless because you've neglected something.

There's always hope though if it means something to you.

If it's part of your value system,

If it's a goal,

If it's part of your dreams,

If it's part of your legacy,

Your karmic to live through,

It might be out of your mind,

But it's not out of your timeline.

Our second quote,

Pardon me,

The second question is,

Who do I neglect and what am I doing about it?

Who do I neglect?

And what am I going to do about it?

It's interesting what comes to mind right away,

Eh?

I love these powerful questions.

Sometimes you don't need to ponder.

It's just like,

Bloop,

My partner,

My dog,

Myself.

I'm neglecting my potential.

I'm neglecting the artist within.

I'm neglecting who are you neglecting and what are you going to do about it?

Which speaks so perfectly to the final reflective question,

Where do I neglect myself?

Where do I neglect myself?

What comes to mind?

Do you neglect yourself in the kitchen with what goes in your mouth?

Do you neglect yourself in bed?

Do you neglect how you adorn yourself with what you wear,

The care for your body,

Temple?

Do you neglect your heart?

You are so worthy.

And you hold so much human potential,

Spiritual potential.

You are the seed.

You are God,

Goding.

You are part of source energy.

You are a miracle.

May you awaken to your wonder,

Beauty,

And awe.

This story,

These quotes,

These questions explored neglect.

I bless you to remember you may not get it all done.

And you may not get it wrong.

You may not be able to do it all every day.

But can you be kind to yourself and others,

Walk with an open heart,

Even in a great way?

Walk with an open heart,

Even in a graceful way when you're tired,

To know yourself,

Experience yourself,

And to live carpe diem,

To seize the day,

The moments,

And to do your best to never neglect love and what would love to you and to not neglect your soul.

Breathe that in.

And let it go.

There is great love here for you,

In you and around you.

And for now,

We are completely content.

Thank you.

Reviews

I really enjoyed this thought provoking talk. The story, the quotes, and the questions. So many important lessons in this story, but to me, the one that sticks out the most is always do your best. I truly live by that. I can’t do sloppy work, EVER!! I do it mostly for me. I want to be proud of what I do. I also think of the repercussions of what could happen if I did not do what I was supposed to do. So I always make sure to do 100%. I want to go back and listen to the quotes again and write down my favorites. I also want to write down the questions so I can answer them to myself after thinking on them a bit longer. Thank you for this beautiful talk.

Love the prompts 💚💚💚💚