Doing - What's Beneath The Addiction?

Do you feel like you have to do in order to feel worthy? Do you feel that doing is what brings validation, success or recognition? Do you find yourself constantly on the go? Join Alara Sage for a deep dive into the addiction of doing.

Transcript

Hello,

Hello,

Welcome,

Welcome,

Welcome,

Welcome.

I am Elara Sage and I really help professional women,

Ambitious women leaders,

Visionaries who are successful in life but who don't really feel fulfilled.

They don't often feel connected and I help them connect to themselves.

I help them connect to others,

Help them really to connect to their passion and their deep desires which really enables them to experience life with more pleasure and more depth,

More wealth,

More love.

So today we're here to talk about doing and the addiction that humanity in general has with doing.

So even if you're not a workaholic you can benefit from this talk very much.

When in 2019 I started to see in my sessions with clients energy coming in to the vagus nerve and I was watching the energy come in to heal and support this particular part of their body and honestly I didn't know what the vagus nerve was.

I just heard vagus nerve and so I was like oh they're getting a healing on their vagus nerve and you know it happened once and then it happened again and then it happened again.

I was like okay there's something to this,

There's something happening here.

So I researched the vagus nerve and I learned a lot about our fight and flight mechanism and then within a month or so I started to get very clear intuitive messages that humanity was going to need to learn how to slow down,

Need to learn how to stop and smell the roses,

To enjoy life,

To relax into life and for those who weren't capable of doing that the intuitive hit was literally that they were going to get slapped and what I mean by slapped is that's really from our higher self.

We often don't realize but oftentimes not always but oftentimes the challenges that show up in our reality,

The resistance that we feel is oftentimes our higher self giving us a good solid slap upside the face trying to wake us up,

Pop,

Wake up,

Pay attention,

Pay attention,

Pay attention,

There's something going on here.

So that was the message I received and then that was the very end of 2019 and then COVID hit.

Super interesting.

All of a sudden everything shut down.

There are many layers of information that I could go into around COVID.

The different layers of downloads and expansion that really came with COVID.

The actual virus.

But outside of the virus was what humanity actually went through.

Just in our physical reality,

In our everyday life of the stop,

Of the shutdown,

Of the slowdown,

Of the forced energy.

The point of that was a good solid slap.

It was very much like when we are not feeling so great but we keep pushing,

We keep getting our bodies to do what we think needs to happen and then we get sick.

Right?

The body says fine,

I need rest,

We're stopping here.

And that's a lot what COVID was.

Humanity was semi forced into a deep rest,

A pause is how it comes through right now.

And there was a lot of healing that went on in the vagus nerve during that period of time.

There were several massive moments of healing.

And if you know nothing about the vagus nerve,

It's a massive network of nerves.

It's not just one nerve but they call it the vagus nerve.

A network of nerves that runs from the lower body,

The lower digestive,

The small intestines,

All the way up into the ears.

So all through the major organs there,

Through the stomach,

Through the liver,

The kidneys,

The heart,

The lungs.

And after COVID many people,

And even during COVID,

Right,

Many people resumed the continuation of incisive doing or forceful doing is really the verbiage that wants to come through right now.

So today we're going to talk about a deeper understanding of what this forceful doing really brings in our life.

The challenges,

What it really creates.

Why do we even do it?

And we're going to go over some of the benefits of learning to have aligned action,

Surrendered action,

Heart-based action,

Many different ways that you could word it.

But aligned action,

Precise action,

And why that's so important for our society moving forward.

I definitely didn't always move in aligned action.

And before COVID I went through probably about a year,

It felt like forever,

Where my higher self just started saying,

No more.

You're not going to do anything.

You're going to rest.

You're going to relax.

Relaxation is different than rest.

You're going to relax.

You're going to relax your body.

You're going to stop doing.

You're going to surrender.

And so I was like,

Sweet surrender.

I can do that.

Okay.

Surrendering.

I'm surrendering.

I'm sort of,

Is it over yet?

Is it done yet?

No.

Okay.

A little bit longer.

Okay.

Surrendering,

Surrendering.

Like now,

Is it done now?

How about now?

Can I do something now?

Which of course none of that was surrender.

And it wasn't until I finally really let go that I actually didn't need to stay in that space very long.

I was being taught how to surrender,

How to let go.

And it was a beautiful training.

I go through many trainings for my higher self because shortly after that,

What happened with my clients in 2019 and then COVID and then how many clients I've led through the process of really shifting out of a performance mindset,

Shifting out of the mentality that we are valued and what we accomplish that we are valued in what we get done,

What we do.

And then if none of that happens,

We're not worthy.

We're not valuable.

We're not successful.

So just take a nice deep breath into your body here.

Just allowing any triggers that are occurring,

May or may not be.

And inviting yourself just to draw awareness to anywhere that this rings true for you in any context.

I'm always about the experience.

I invite you guys always on an experience here with me.

This isn't just a talk.

This is a journey that we're on together.

So the more that you're aware of your space,

Your body,

Your being,

As I say specific words,

As I personally hold a vibration of relaxation and playfulness,

There's much that occurs.

If you just allow yourself to tune into yourself,

There's a lot of beautiful awareness for you.

So I've helped many clients go from a performance mindset where they are tense,

Anxious,

Always kind of feeling like they're falling forward.

My partner used to use that term.

Kind of like you're running so fast that you can barely keep up with yourself.

You're falling and so you're having to move your legs so quickly to stay underneath you.

Falling forward into your life.

Always a long list of things to do they would have and always so much pressure.

My clients have always felt so much pressure to get everything done,

To do everything just right.

And when we're in this space,

We don't experience the now.

You can't.

You can't.

And when you're in this space,

The space of tension,

When you're in this space of tension,

Whether that's physical tension,

Emotional tension or mental tension,

You can't really be in the blissful state that you're capable of.

The depth of pleasure isn't there.

The depth of living,

The depth of experiencing isn't there.

So with my clients,

They had this feeling of unfulfilled.

Like it never mattered how much they did.

There was always more to do and none of it really gave them that real satiated feeling or if it did,

It was short lived,

Short lived.

And then the very next day there was a whole nother long list of to dos,

Long list of ways to validate ourselves.

So through my work with them,

They've been able to really relax.

And on a little bit of a side note here through my journey of relaxation,

I didn't even consider myself a tense person.

I've always been very,

Very grounded.

I've always been very calm.

I am not and have never been an anxious individual.

So maybe you connect to,

Maybe you resonate with anxious and maybe you don't,

But that doesn't mean that you're relaxed regardless.

Even if you're not anxious,

Doesn't necessarily mean that you are relaxed.

And that is what I was shown.

That is what I was taught and that is what I teach.

There are so many levels to relaxation.

I'm still finding more of them.

The subtle,

Subtle,

Subtle,

Subtle,

Subtle,

Subtle energy fields that we can keep relaxing and opening,

Relaxing and opening.

And as we do that,

We literally tap more into the experience.

We feel more.

We experience more.

We hear more.

We see more colors are brighter and,

And actually have more depth to them.

Feelings feel better.

They feel more pleasurable touch to give touch,

To receive touch feels better.

Taste is better.

Everything is a more pleasurable experience.

And did you know that there's no bottom to that?

There's no top.

There's no sides.

The ability to experience the ability to have bliss,

To have joy,

To have pleasure has no end.

You can continue to relax and to expand into more.

So right there I just got bliss lit.

I just got to,

I get these shots,

What I call bliss because it's very,

Very blissful,

Totally through my body.

So just take a nice deep breath here.

Breathing into your body.

So this is what was happening with my clients.

They were breathing deeper into their body,

Starting to feel more and then starting to really experience their life like they never had engaging and what we call the now and this playfulness and this game.

I like to call it a game in a positive way,

Not a game in a bad way,

But a game in a positive way.

We get to play the game.

If you think of your childlike essence and the playing,

The imaginative play.

I always used to have dinosaurs.

I loved dinosaurs when I was little.

I had so many different kinds of dinosaurs and I knew pretty much the name to all of them.

And you know,

I would like one beats up one and then it kills it.

And you have all the little imaginative things that you play and you experience and you're fully engrossed as a child.

That's happening right there.

There's no pretend.

It's happening to you as this child.

You're engrossed in the story.

You're engrossed in the play.

You feel it.

You have emotions around it.

It's a game.

So the question that you can ask yourself right now is would you like to have more pleasure in your life?

Does it matter what kind of pleasure?

There's all different kinds of pleasure,

But would you like to have more?

Would you like to experience yourself and others with more depth?

Would you like to experience the moment with more depth?

Or you're soaking it all in,

Slowing,

Perhaps almost stopping time entirely as you're fully engaged.

These are the experiences when we let go of doing.

So once again,

I want you guys to breathe into the belly.

Take a nice deep breath.

Feel that belly move out as you inhale,

Exhale.

And this time when we do it,

I want you to make an audible sound if you can,

If you're not in some situation that it would be awkward and heck maybe even do if it is awkward,

Right?

That's some fun.

And just feel your breath in your body.

Feel your body.

See right there.

I'm not joking when I say that that's orgasmic for me.

The constant doing is it's an addiction,

But not an addiction consciously.

Nobody's out there saying I'm addicted to doing.

I mean,

Actually some are right.

Workaholic,

Right?

But we acquire that more to work,

Right?

We don't say that I'm just addicted to doing in life.

Rarely.

It's not necessarily a conscious addiction.

And yet that's exactly what it is.

It's an addiction in our nervous system.

It's where our nervous system has been in fight or flight and we get those hits of adrenaline and then we need to hit it again and we need to hit it again and we keep consuming coffee or stimulants or whatever we need to do to keep that,

That feeling going.

The feeling of doing the feeling of accomplishment,

The feeling of the adrenaline of that high paced energy,

Whatever it is,

It can be subtly different for each individual.

And that's what I always really invite everybody.

Denial is a very,

Very powerful thing.

Denial is when we literally cannot see something literally.

It doesn't exist in your,

In your perspective,

From your perspective,

It does not exist.

If you're in denial,

You're in denial.

You cannot see it.

So I always invite for my own personal process,

I always invite where,

Where am I still addicted to doing?

Where is that in my life?

And I invite it in because if it's not there,

It's not there.

It doesn't matter,

Does it?

But if it's there and you're in denial,

That's life changing.

Life changing.

So just let yourself breathe with this and really feel,

Are there any spaces in my life?

Are there any particular things in my life,

Whether it's work,

Whether it's,

You know,

Kids or any where in my life that I'm addicted to that doing as a form of escape?

Because it's escape.

It's escapism.

It's escaping the now.

It's escaping who we are.

It's escaping the depth of our very own being when we're caught in doing.

Escaping the depth.

You know that part of you that you feel that you sense you just can't quite seem to really get to that part of you.

That's what you're escaping because that part of you is so fucking beautiful,

So powerful and absolutely marinating in pleasure.

That part of you is marinating in pleasure.

We have not been taught that there is a lot of value in pleasure.

We've not been taught that success is found in pleasure.

That you're successful if you're pleasurable.

But I think you can feel what I'm referring to right now.

I think you know exactly what I mean,

Even though you may have never experienced that part of yourself.

There's a sense,

Perhaps a knowing that that part of you exists.

The thing about this doing is,

As I mentioned at the beginning of this conversation,

Is it's through an energy of force.

Dr.

Hawkins writes a great book called Power versus Force that I invite anybody to read.

It's extraordinary.

Force is an energy of grasping,

Clinging.

Force is rooted in scarcity and lack.

Force is all about self.

It's what our society is 100% founded upon.

Scarcity and lack.

It doesn't matter how much money you have when you're in the energy of scarcity.

It's never enough.

It doesn't matter what you have if you're in the energy of scarcity.

It's never enough.

You always try to achieve,

Get,

Create,

Acquire more.

I'm not just talking material items.

Perhaps it's courses,

Education.

Perhaps it's healing.

Self-healing journeys,

Rituals,

Ceremonies,

Retreats.

It doesn't matter what it is.

It's the feeling of that never quite enough.

Just out of your reach.

So take another nice deep breath in through the nose,

Out through the mouth.

Being aware of your body.

Being aware of the words that I say and how they feel in your body.

This energy of force,

It has to maintain itself by continuing to do.

Doing and the energy of force can only be maintained by continuing to do.

What do I mean by that?

I mean that a life that is created in this energy can only be maintained by continuing to do.

Now that's a scary thought because if you've created a life in this energy,

What does that mean?

Right?

Does it mean that your world's going to come crumbling down?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Does it mean that if you are available to what I speak of today that you will pivot?

Yes.

Pivots can look in lots of different ways.

We can call them catalysts.

We can call them pivots.

Radical transformation.

Big changes in our life.

Lots of different ways to word it.

Sometimes they can be a collapsing,

But not always do they have to be that way.

But it's important to understand that a life created in force has to be maintained by force.

And let me explain a little bit deeper.

Power is the understanding that there is infinite abundance and that's such a hard concept for us to understand.

We hear it a lot,

But do we really grasp it?

I don't pretend to grasp it.

I feel it.

I feel it in my body.

I feel it in my being.

I feel it to be true.

When we're in a relaxed state,

When our vagus nerve is relaxed,

When our vagus nerve is out of that fight or flight and we're really able to relax into our life and into the moment,

A creative life force,

Also known as Shakti Kundalini,

Kundalini Shakti,

Actually Shakti,

Also known as your creative energy,

Your fire,

Your passion,

Your power,

Your power,

Your creative life force energy is able to move through your body when you are relaxed and thus open and it moves very,

Very powerfully into your physical reality because our bodies are a vessel for physical manifestation.

Our bodies are here to allow the infinite beings that we are to manifest,

To create into the physical reality.

That's the point of our physical bodies.

So when our bodies are tight and intense,

How can energy move through us?

So as you relax and open up,

There's so much power that can come through you and it's organic,

Not organic,

It's self serving.

It feeds itself.

It doesn't need to be maintained.

It just is.

Power is.

Power is present.

Power is what you are.

It serves all that energy that comes through you.

It serves all.

And it's extremely tender.

That is one of the most profound things I ever learned about power.

For the longest time I could feel my power and I wanted it to be noticed and seen.

But I wanted it to be noticed and seen.

And my higher self was trying to teach me.

But power is extremely subtle sometimes.

It's not always powerful in the sense of,

Whoa,

Right?

It can be so subtle and so tender.

So when we relax and we open,

We start to experience this part of ourselves.

This powerful,

Tender you.

And there's no force in that energy.

There's no need to force anything.

Why would you need to force anything when you are an exhaustible source?

So what starts to happen is you align to your desires.

You align to what the fuck you truly want to be doing in life.

What you truly want to be doing in life.

And that tender power comes through in very aligned and precise action.

Intentional action.

The smallest amount of precise intentional action has so much more significance to your life than the constant push.

The quality of you in the action is what manifests into the physical reality.

The quality of you.

What do I mean by that?

Are you relaxed?

Are you playful?

Are you joyous?

Are you open?

Are you loving?

Are you connected?

Are you tense?

Grasping,

Chasing,

Confused,

Anxious,

Scared,

Tired,

Exhausted,

Worn out.

Take another nice deep breath in through the nose,

In your belly,

And then out through your mouth.

So the process of learning to relax,

Learning to let go of attachments that you have to do.

Whatever it is,

Whatever you have attachments to.

Once again,

Inviting yourself to see what you're attached to.

Could be your work,

Could be success,

It could be any kind of perfection.

Being the perfect mom,

Being the perfect dad,

Having the perfect family,

Having the perfect house,

Having everything always perfectly clean.

Whatever you're attached to.

There's tension there.

By acknowledging what we're attached to,

By realizing that any attachment that we have is based off of scarcity,

Based off of lack,

Based off of not truly trusting your own power.

Then you can begin the process to let go.

Open your hands,

Breathe into your body,

Learning to relax,

Learning to relax,

Learning to relax.

Relaxing doesn't mean not doing anything.

This is not a conversation about not doing.

This is about learning how to do from an aligned,

Powerful place,

A relaxed place.

Did you ever think that those two went together?

Doing and relaxation?

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

They go together very,

Very beautifully.

You can be deeply relaxed and still do and accomplish a lot in a small amount of time.

So I hope from this conversation you have perhaps gained some awareness of yourself,

Perhaps found some places that you can invite yourself into relaxation and or might I just say,

Play.

Playfulness.

Play doesn't have to look like anything.

Play can just be adding a little skip to your step.

Smiling,

Looking up at the sky,

Taking a different route home,

Being curious,

Being up for adventure in life,

And inviting play in.

The quality of your doing will change.

Thank you so much,

Everybody,

For joining me here today.

If you're new to my space,

Welcome,

Welcome.

And I invite you to check out my profile if you're new to my work,

Get to know me.

Maybe reach out and say hi.

I love connecting to people.