Why Was I Born Here ? | Ancestral Healing Meditation

The most honest meditation about what you didn't choose.

You didn't choose your family, your genes, your trauma, your body, or your starting point in life. Some people are born into safety and privilege. Others into violence and disadvantage. None of it is fair. None of it is chosen.

So what brings it all together? This Family Constellation meditation doesn't offer toxic positivity or spiritual bypassing. It acknowledges the real injustice of what you didn't choose AND helps you discover the agency you DO have within that reality.

In this practice: Name what you didn't choose (without pretending it's okay). See your family system in context (nobody chose, everyone inherited). Understand what you CAN choose now (response, not circumstances). Challenge society's false solutions (partner, money, kids won't fix this). Discover the hidden gift in your specific placement. Speak healing sentences to break cycles. Reclaim your power to transform inherited patterns.

Transcript

So welcome everyone and thank you.

Thank you for listening.

So today we're going to explore one of the most profound questions in human existence.

A question that all of us may have asked at some point in our lives.

Whether we carry it in our heart or speak it out out loud.

I may have sometimes wondered or said why was I born into this family?

Why this body?

Why this pain?

And why these circumstances?

And if you're here you've probably asked these questions.

Maybe you've wondered why you were born into a family that couldn't love you the way you needed.

Maybe you've questioned why you were given a body that struggles.

A mind that works differently or a history marked by trauma that you never deserved or asked for.

Maybe you've looked around at other people's lives and felt the burning unfairness of it all.

Some people are born into safety,

Wealth and support.

Others are born into violence,

Poverty and neglect.

Some get parents who are present and attuned.

Others get parents who are absent,

Addicted,

Maybe even abusive.

So none of us choose where we landed.

You didn't choose your parents.

You didn't choose your genes.

You didn't choose your race,

Your country,

Your class,

Your generation and you most certainly didn't choose your early life experiences.

The ones that shaped your nervous system,

Your attachment patterns and your sense of what's possible.

You also didn't choose the trauma that lives in your body.

You didn't choose the ancestral wounds that you carry and you didn't choose the systemic injustices that mark your life.

And here you are living this life,

In this body,

With this history,

In this family system.

So the question isn't just why.

The question then becomes what do I do with a life I didn't choose?

What do I do with a life that I didn't choose?

And today we are going to explore this question through the lens of family constellation work.

Now let me be clear about something.

The modality itself doesn't matter.

What matters is awareness.

So family constellation therapy was developed by Bert Hellinger in Germany in the 1990s and this work,

This understanding of ancestral patterns and family systems healing is very ancient.

As an example in India,

The same wisdom has been practiced for thousands of years under the name Pitra Dosh and the same understanding that unresolved ancestral patterns affect the living and that we carry the unfinished business of those who came before us.

Different cultures,

Different names,

Different practices but the same fundamental truth.

You are part of a family system that extends beyond your individual life and patterns move through lineages until someone becomes conscious enough to transform them.

So whether you call it family constellation,

Ancestral healing,

Past life karma,

Destiny,

Pitra Dosh or something else,

The label is not what heals you.

The awareness heals you.

The seeing heals you and the conscious choice to transform what you've inherited,

That's what heals you.

So today we are not here to practice any modality.

We are just here to become aware.

Aware of deeply,

Painfully,

Liberatingly aware of what you didn't choose and what you can choose now.

It's going to touch grief and rage.

It's going to acknowledge injustice and then it possibly will help you find your power.

Not the power to change your past but the power to choose what you do with it now.

So find a comfortable position,

Sitting up,

Lying down,

Just making sure you can receive my words.

Just your full presence.

Sitting up,

Lying down,

Eyes open,

Eyes closed,

Nothing matters.

I'm just going to offer my full presence and receive and whatever aligns or resonates I'll take that.

So let's begin now by arriving fully in this body.

The body that you didn't choose but the body that you're in.

Placing both your hands on your heart.

Now feeling the warmth of your hands and feeling the rise and fall of your breath beneath your palms.

This is your body.

You didn't design it.

You didn't pick it from a catalog of options.

It has its own history,

Its own genetics,

Its own stored memories and some of those memories aren't even yours.

They belong to your parents,

Grandparents and generations before you.

Just notice what it feels like to be in this body right now.

Don't try to change anything.

Just be here exactly as you are.

And now staying here with me,

Take a deep breath in and release it with a sigh.

Let your jaw soften,

Let your shoulders drop.

Be here in this moment,

In this body.

And again deep breath in and releasing it with a sigh.

Jaw drops,

Shoulder drops and again be here with this body.

Now that you are here,

A bit more present,

A bit more aware,

I'm going to invite you to do something that might feel uncomfortable but it's essential.

I am going to invite you to name honestly and without any sort of bypassing.

Just name what you didn't choose.

And this is not about dwelling in victimhood.

This is about telling the truth because you can't transform what you want to acknowledge.

And I'll say this again,

You can't transform what you want to acknowledge.

So let's name it now,

Good or bad.

You didn't choose your family.

You didn't choose whether your parents would be loving or harmful.

You didn't choose whether they'd be present or absent,

Attuned or neglectful,

Safe or dangerous.

And you didn't choose whether your family would be a refugee or a battleground.

Take a breath now and stay with this.

Just feel what arises.

Now you also didn't choose your body,

The physical body.

You didn't choose your genetics,

Your health,

Your neurology.

You didn't choose whether your body would move easily or struggle.

You also did not choose your appearance,

Abilities and your brain chemistry.

You also didn't choose whether your body would be celebrated by the world or not.

Just feel what comes up as you acknowledge this.

I'm simply naming what I didn't choose and I'm just seeing how my awareness and how my body responds to these words.

Now you also didn't choose your starting point in life.

You didn't choose to be born into wealth or poverty.

You didn't choose privilege or marginalization.

You didn't choose which systems would work for you and which would work against you.

You didn't choose your race,

Your gender,

Your sexuality or how the world would respond to any of it.

Just breathe this truth into your body again.

You didn't choose your trauma.

If you had unpleasant early childhood experiences,

You didn't choose them.

If you were neglected or abused,

You didn't choose it.

If you grew up in violence,

Chaos or coldness,

You didn't choose it.

And if your nervous system learned that the world isn't safe,

You didn't choose that lesson.

Let yourself feel the weight of this truth now,

The weight of these words.

Now you also didn't choose your ancestral inheritance.

You didn't choose the wars your grandparents survived.

You didn't choose the persecution,

Displacement or loss in your lineage.

You also didn't choose the poverty that marked generations.

You didn't choose the grief,

The rage,

The silence that got passed down like DNA.

Just notice what's alive in your body as you acknowledge this.

Now feeling the injustice.

I want you to let yourself feel the unfairness of all this.

Not in your head but in your body.

It wasn't fair.

Other people got easier lives and that's not fair.

Other people got parents you needed and that's not fair either.

Other people got the support,

The resources,

The safety,

The love and you never did.

That's not fair.

Just let yourself feel anger about this,

The rage and the grief.

It's all okay.

The feelings are sacred,

Very sacred and your system is saying this wasn't right.

I deserved better.

Now you did deserve better.

Maybe your chest feels tight.

Maybe your throat feels choked.

Maybe your hands want to become fists.

Maybe tears are coming.

So whatever you feel just let it be there.

Don't push it away.

Don't tell yourself it's there for a reason.

Not yet.

Right now just feel this truth.

You didn't choose this and this wasn't fair.

I want you to just breathe into whatever you're feeling.

Give it space.

This is part of the healing.

Acknowledging the wound and not pretending it's already healed.

Breathing into whatever you're feeling.

Now you're doing something very courageous right now.

You're telling the truth about your life instead of covering it up with false positivity.

Now take another breath and we are going to shift not to deny what you felt but to see it in a larger context.

Now just seeing the bigger picture and this is what family systems work reveals.

That your parents didn't choose their circumstances either and I know you might be angry at them.

You might blame them for what they did or didn't give and that anger is justified but just stay with me here.

Just in your mind's eye,

In your awareness,

In the space that you're in right now.

Imagine your parents as children now.

See your mom as a little girl.

See your father as a little boy and if you don't have parental figures in this 3d life just imagine,

Visualize.

Now did they choose their parents?

Did they choose their childhood or did they choose their trauma,

Their lack or their wounds?

Now your mother may not have chosen to have the mother she had and your father didn't choose to have the father he had.

So they may have also been born into circumstances that they didn't create just like you.

Maybe your mother was neglected so she didn't know how to nurture you.

She didn't choose that she inherited that.

Maybe your father never showed affection so he couldn't show it to you.

He didn't choose that he learned it.

Now this does not excuse harm but it just puts things into context.

You didn't choose your parents but they didn't choose theirs and their parents didn't choose theirs.

This pattern goes back and back and back and back.

Nobody is choosing,

Everybody is inheriting.

I'll say this again nobody is choosing everybody is simply inheriting.

Just breathe with this understanding.

Now let's go even deeper.

Imagine,

Think about or just have a knowing about your grandparents and you don't have to know them or see how they look,

Know how they look or remember their names.

Just a presence,

My grandparents,

My great grandparents.

Go as far back as you can imagine.

See the line of ancestors stretching behind you,

Hundreds of people,

Thousands of people.

Did any of them choose their circumstances?

Did your great-grandmother choose to lose her husband in war or did your great-great-great-grandfather choose poverty,

Displacement and persecution?

None of them chose,

None of them chose fully and yet every single one of them survived long enough to pass life forward to you.

None of them chose fully but every single one of them survived long enough to pass life forward to you and despite not choosing their circumstances,

Despite war,

Famine,

Violence,

Loss,

They lived,

They endured,

They carried the pain forward,

Yes,

But they also carried life forward and here you are today,

The current end point of that lineage.

You didn't choose to be born into this line but you are in this line and everyone before you was doing the best they could with what they didn't choose.

I just want you to feel yourself being part of this long chain.

You're not alone,

You're not separate,

You're part of a story that started long before you and will continue long after you.

Now you didn't choose your placement in this lineage,

You didn't choose this family system,

This body and this circumstances but here is what changes when you see the bigger picture.

You stop personalizing it,

This isn't happening to you as a punishment,

This isn't because you're unlucky or bad or cursed,

This is simply the nature of incarnation.

Landing in a body,

Landing in a family,

Landing in a time and place and just having to work with what you are given.

Nobody gets to choose their starting point and everyone has to work with what they inherit and I say this again,

Nobody gets to choose their starting point.

Everyone has to work with what they inherit.

Some inheritances are easier than others,

Some lives are objectively harder than others but the unfairness is real but the unfairness may not be personal.

It's systemic,

Historical and it's simply the way human existence works.

You're not being singled out,

You're part of the great lottery of birth every human being participates in.

Breathe into this larger perspective now.

Now we come to the most important part of this journey.

We shift from what you couldn't choose to what you can choose.

Now you can place your hand on your heart again and just feel yourself here once again in the present moment.

You didn't choose the past but you do choose what happens next.

Now listen,

Receive.

You didn't choose your family but you can choose how you relate to them now.

You didn't choose your trauma but you can choose whether to heal it or to pass it on.

You didn't choose your starting point but you can choose direction from here.

You didn't choose what was done to you but you can choose what you do with it now.

This isn't toxic positivity.

This isn't just think positive.

This is the sacred truth that within this reality you didn't choose.

You still may have some choice and before we go deeper into what you can choose,

Let me tell you what won't fix this.

So society tells you a lie.

They tell you that if you just find the right partner,

Have children,

They're all examples,

Make enough money,

Achieve success,

Buy a house,

Get a promotion,

Then the pain will stop and then you'll finally feel whole.

But that may not be it.

You can have the perfect partner and still feel empty inside.

You can have beautiful children and still be haunted by your unhealed wounds.

You can make all the money in the world and still feel ancestral poverty in your bones.

You can achieve everything society tells you to achieve and still wake up at 3 a.

M.

Wondering why was I born into this family?

Why do I carry this pain?

So external things,

Even though they make the journey easier,

They don't fix internal inheritance.

Once again,

External material things definitely make the journey easier but they don't fix internal inheritance,

That void,

That loneliness,

That pain,

That loyalty.

A partner can't heal your mother wound.

Children can't resolve your father's absence.

Money cannot erase generational trauma and success can't fill the hole where safety should have been.

So the work isn't out there,

The work is inside of you,

In your relationship to what you inherited and in your awareness of patterns that you're carrying,

In your conscious choice to transform what's been passed down to you.

So when I talk about what you can choose,

I am not talking about choosing better circumstances,

I am talking about choosing consciousness,

Choosing awareness,

Choosing to see the pattern and deciding whether you'll continue or you'll transform.

Choosing to see the pattern,

That's the real choice,

The only choice that actually changes anything.

You can't change the past,

But the past doesn't have to determine your future and let me show you what you can choose,

Even within everything you couldn't.

You can choose how you hold your story.

You didn't choose the story,

The family you were born into,

The trauma you endured,

The disadvantages you started with,

But you can choose whether you tell that story with shame or with dignity,

Whether you let it define you or inform you,

Whether it becomes your prison or your portal.

Just breathe into this possibility now.

You can also choose whether to repeat the pattern or break it.

Your parents repeated patterns they inherited,

Their parents did the same and the chain goes back generations,

But it can stop with you.

You can be the one who says this pattern ends here,

I didn't choose to receive it,

But I chose or choose not to pass it on.

You can be the one who says this pattern ends here,

I didn't choose to receive it,

But I choose not to pass it on.

Just feel the power of this choice now.

You can also choose how you treat yourself,

Despite what happened.

Your family may have been cruel,

But you can be kind to yourself.

Your childhood may have been loveless,

But you can love yourself now.

Your body may have been shamed,

But you can honor it.

You didn't receive what you deserved then,

But you can give it to yourself now.

And just notice what shifts as you consider this.

You can choose what you do with your awareness.

You're here in this exploration,

Which means you're already choosing consciousness over unconsciousness.

You're choosing to see the patterns instead of blindly repeating them.

And this choice,

The choice to become aware,

Is the most powerful choice that you have.

Awareness is where freedom begins.

Now I'm going to offer you a perspective that might be difficult to hear,

But stay with me.

I'm not going to tell you that everything happens for a reason,

And I'm not going to say that your pain was meant to be,

And I'm not going to spiritually bypass the injustice.

But I'm going to suggest something here.

What if you were placed in this family system because you're the one capable of transforming it?

What if you are the one that is capable of transforming it?

What if you're the only one that is capable of transforming it?

Not because you deserve the pain,

Not because it's fair,

But because something in you,

Some strength,

Some awareness,

Some capacity,

Is able to alchemize this particular pain into wisdom.

Think about it now.

In your family,

Who else is doing this work?

Who else is healing?

Who else is looking at patterns?

Who else is willing to feel the grief,

Name the trauma,

And break the cycle?

It just may be you.

It's you.

Maybe you're the most sensitive one.

Maybe you're the one who couldn't ignore what everyone else denied.

Maybe you're the one who felt everything so deeply that you had no choice but seek healing.

That sensitivity isn't weakness.

It's your superpower.

You were born into this family because you're strong enough to carry the pain and to transform it.

Not to carry it forward,

But to transform it.

The very wounds you carry are preparing you for the work only you can do.

Now there is an ancient saying that the wound is where the light enters.

So your specific wounds,

The ones you didn't choose,

Are preparing you for specific contribution.

If you were neglected,

You know deeply what it means to be unseen,

So you can see others truly.

If you were abused,

You know what violation feels like,

So you can recreate safety for others.

If you were poor,

You know what lack costs,

So you can share resources with consciousness.

If you were silenced,

You know what it means to hold something in,

So you can help others speak up.

If you were excluded,

You can help others create belonging.

So your pain may not have been wasted.

It may not have been random.

It could have been your curriculum.

Not because some cosmic force decided you needed to suffer,

But because now that you've survived it,

You have the wisdom that couldn't have been learned any other way.

You didn't choose the wound,

But you can choose to make it the medicine.

You didn't choose the wound,

But you can choose to make it medicine.

Now breathe this reframe in for a few seconds.

You didn't choose the wound,

But you can choose to make it medicine.

Now let's do some core constellation work.

We are going to speak directly to your family system,

Not to the people themselves,

But the field,

The pattern,

And the inheritance.

You can say these words silently or out loud.

What matters is that you mean them.

And that you let them land in your body.

Take a breath,

And when you're ready,

Speak to your ancestors,

Speak to your parents,

And speak to your lineage.

You can say them out loud.

Receive my words,

Whatever you think you need in this moment.

I see that none of you chose your circumstances either.

I see that none of you chose your circumstances either.

You did the best you could with what you didn't choose.

You did the best you could with what you didn't choose.

I honor the life you passed forward,

Even when it came with pain.

I honor the life you passed forward,

Even when it came with pain.

I didn't choose this inheritance,

But I accept that it's mine to work with.

I didn't choose this inheritance,

But I accept that it's mine to work with.

I am not here to blame you.

I am here to transform what you couldn't.

I am not here to blame you.

I am here to transform what you couldn't.

I release the hope that you'll change.

I release the fantasy of the family I deserved,

And I accept the family that I have.

I release the hope that you'll change.

I release the fantasy of the family I deserved.

I accept the family I have.

And I now choose to do something different with what I've inherited.

And I now choose to do something different with what I've inherited.

I am now choosing to do something different with what I've inherited.

Now these words may be moving something through you.

Maybe it's grief,

Anger,

Sadness,

Relief.

Whatever it is,

Just let it be there.

Let's write a new agreement.

Let's rewire all the things that we have made conscious today,

Seen or unseen.

This is my life now,

And I choose consciousness.

I choose healing.

I choose to pass forward something better than what I received.

This is my life now,

And I choose consciousness.

I choose healing.

I choose to pass forward something better than what I received.

I am the one who transforms the pattern.

I am the one who breaks the cycle.

I am the one who turns the wounds into wisdom.

I am the one who transforms the pattern.

I am the one who breaks the cycle.

I am the one who turns wounds into wisdom.

Feel the power of these words.

Feel them landing in your cells,

In your nervous system,

And in the core of who you are.

Now this is your choice within the life that you didn't choose.

This is your choice within the life that you didn't choose.

Now take a deep breath in and release it completely.

So what you've done today is profound.

You've acknowledged the truth of what you didn't choose,

The unfairness,

The pain,

And the injustice.

You didn't spiritualize it away or pretend it's all okay,

And you've reclaimed your power to choose within that reality,

Not power over the past and you can't change that,

But power over how you hold it,

How you respond to it,

And how you transform it.

You've seen your place in a larger family system,

A system where nobody chose their circumstances,

Everybody inherited patterns,

And you are the one conscious enough to break the cycle.

This is sacred work.

You're not just healing yourself,

You're healing backwards,

Giving your ancestors peace,

And you're healing forward,

Ensuring the next generation doesn't carry what you're releasing.

So in the coming days,

Weeks,

Hours,

You might notice grief arising as you let go of the fantasy of the family you deserved and accept the one you have.

Anger surfacing at the injustice,

At what you didn't choose,

At what you lost.

Relief emerging as you realize you're not powerless and you're not defined by your past.

Clarity coming about patterns you're repeating and choices you can make differently.

You may even have compassion growing for yourself,

For your parents,

And for everyone in your lineage who was also working with what they didn't choose.

All this is part of the integration.

Don't rush it,

Just let it unfold.

As a very,

Very small daily practice,

Whenever you catch yourself thinking,

Why this life?

Why this circumstance?

Why this family?

Why this relationship?

Simply pause,

Remember,

Reflect,

I didn't choose this,

It's not fair,

And I choose what I do with it now.

I didn't choose this,

It's not fair,

And I choose what I do with it now.

Now that's your anchor,

That's your truth,

And that's your power.

Hands on the heart one last time.

You didn't choose where you were born,

The family,

The body,

The circumstances,

The pain,

But you're here now.

Conscious,

Aware,

And choosing,

And that changes everything.

Not the past,

You can't change the past,

But the future.

The patterns that get passed forward,

The legacy you leave,

And the transformation of your inherited pain into wisdom,

That's all yours to choose.

Thank you for having the courage to do this work.

Thank you for being the one in your lineage who breaks the cycle.

Thank you for choosing consciousness over unconsciousness,

Healing over repetition,

And transformation over victimhood.

The pattern ends with you,

The healing begins with you.

May you walk forward in peace,

In power,

And in profound knowledge that within the life you didn't choose,

You are choosing every single day,

And the journey is now complete.

When you're ready,

Gently open your eyes.

If they were closed,

Come back to the room and know something has shifted.

You've reclaimed your energy,

You've honored your story.

Thank you for joining me today,

And namaste.