Back To Happiness

We often move towards our goals each day, feeling unhappiness or lack of fulfillment because we do not allow ourselves to be happy while taking the steps.

We only give ourselves permission to feel happiness once we achieve the goal, and this moment of happiness is often short-lived. The mind quickly shifts to wanting to achieve the next thing, leading us to miss out on the joy of the journey.

Here’s a practical shift to allow yourself to have a clear vision and enjoy each step towards it.

Transcript

While it is important to set out your vision,

It's even more important to enjoy each step that leads towards there.

The other day I had a conversation with Marjolein and we realized that the word happening is very closely related to the word happy.

Happen and happy.

So is it that we allow ourselves or we allow the moment to happen smoothly,

Effortlessly,

Without resisting it,

That we find ourselves happy?

Is it that in allowing all of that which happens right now,

Without resisting it,

Without judging it for good or bad to happen,

That makes us enter a state of happiness?

And based on my experience of meditating for many hours,

For years now,

I found that I didn't need to do anything to be happy or joyful and that the hour-long meditations didn't actually make me happy.

They just made me realize that I am happy,

I am joy,

I am bliss,

That I am already that which I seek,

That I don't need to do anything in order to be happy.

Because happiness is not a doing,

It's a state of being.

And so why are we searching happiness in the doing?

Why are we searching joy in the doing?

No,

It is already our natural state to be happy,

To be joyful,

To be peaceful.

When we look at children,

They're continuously joyful,

Peaceful,

Happy,

Excited.

Nobody needs to tell them how to be happy,

Nobody needs to tell them do this or do that in order to be happy.

We usually hear from our parents at a very young age that we need to do this or that in order to be happy in the future.

But this is so uninteresting to us.

Usually we're just like,

Okay,

Why do I need to think about my future right now?

I'm already ecstatic,

I'm already happy,

I'm already joyful,

I'm already playful.

And as we're moving into more and more of this mindset of thinking about the future,

Of seeing that once I am the vision,

Once I'm reaching my goals,

Once I accomplish the quest that I set out for myself,

Only then I will be happy.

And so we create a condition upon our happiness,

We create a condition about our emotional state,

We create a logic,

A framework,

A square,

A boundary,

A limitation on when we can be happy and when we can't be happy,

When we allow our experience to be happy or when we don't allow ourselves to be happy.

And so we create a certain way to look at reality and identify certain patterns in our lives that actually just signal us that only if I see that certain pattern in my life,

Only if I see that certain thing,

I'll allow myself or I'll give myself permission to experience happy.

And if that is not the case,

If I don't see that certain pattern,

That certain situation,

That certain thing,

That certain experience that I'm seeking,

I will not allow myself to be happy.

And so we're moving towards our goals,

We're moving,

We're taking our steps every single day in unhappiness,

Not feeling any fulfillment or excitement,

Taking the steps.

Because we don't allow ourselves to be happy while we take the steps.

We don't allow ourselves to just feel the joy of just simply making the step.

And oftentimes we see that once we reach our goals,

When we finally achieve that pattern,

Wow,

There it is,

The moment of happiness,

The moment of joy.

And there's a certain relaxation and,

Yeah,

Just an ease to it once we have reached the goal,

Which is an amazing feeling.

I'm not trying to downgrade the experience of it,

But it's very short-lasting.

Most of the time,

The mind is in such a way that it will immediately want to achieve the next thing.

And so we're experiencing happiness the moment we reach our goal,

The moment we reach our vision that we have been working so vividly towards in a determined way,

In a disciplined way,

In a consistent way.

In a determined way,

In a disciplined way,

In a consistent way.

And having missed out each step because we were so focused on the vision,

On the goal,

On the happiness that we attach to the goal,

The permission that we attach to the goal in order to feel happiness.

So here's a practical step,

A practical shift for you to allow yourself to have a clear vision and take every step in happiness rather than attaching your happiness to the reaching of the goal.

Imagine there's a river,

A stream of energy and flow of water.

And right now you have created like a barrier in the river.

You stopped the flow of the water and now the river cannot flow.

And you're accumulating water and water and water.

And once you give yourself finally permission,

You're taking the barrier where and this is where the flow of the water can move effortlessly again.

You see it flows again.

You give yourself permission.

You feel like,

Ah,

That happiness.

However,

You don't need to create the barrier.

You don't need to withhold the permission.

Let the river flow.

Let the water flow continuously.

What I mean by that is not to sugarcoat the reality and not just think,

Oh yeah,

Positive thinking and happiness and forcing yourself in that.

No,

Happiness is a simple stream of flow.

It is always flowing,

Always happening.

Joy,

Happiness,

That is our natural nature.

That's the essence of being human.

And so allow it to flow.

Allow the happiness that is within you right now to flow.

Give yourself permission to be happy right now.

Don't withhold your happiness.

Don't withhold your joy.

Don't wait for a later moment.

Don't wait for later.

It's already within you and simply allow it to flow.

Don't resist it.

Don't hold it back for another moment.

It is this moment in which you can feel it.

It is already there.

It is your essence to be joyful,

To be happy,

To be at ease.

So that would be the first step.

To allow yourself to simply be that which you are.

Your being is happy.

Your being is joyful.

So allow that stream to flow effortlessly.

Don't resist it.

And how we can support that process of not resisting it,

Because right now you limited your ways of being happy.

Because you attached your happiness to certain goals and certain situations.

Only if I experience ics,

I will allow myself to experience happy.

Decondition yourself by relaxation.

And that is why we do so many relaxation methods these days,

From yoga,

Meditation,

Qigong,

Tai chi.

All those practices promote relaxation while being wakeful.

You see,

Oftentimes we only allow ourselves to relax truly when we are falling asleep.

But when do we take actually the time during the day to experience true relaxation?

Only if we have cultivated a certain method,

Such as meditation or any yogic practices,

We experience relaxation.

Or when we consciously just focus on our breath,

Seeing the inhalation coming in and out,

That allows us to calm the nervous system and experience relaxation.

So relaxation is the key to allowing ourselves back into the natural state of our being,

Which is already joy and happiness.

And if you don't experience joy and happiness right now,

Know that you can relax a little.

Know that you can make a little effort today to find a way for you to relax your nervous system.

Let go of the boundaries that you have set for yourself in order to be happy.

Allow your being to be.

Don't try to do anything for it.

And when I say with effort,

Use the effort to not do.

Do in order to not do.

In order to come back into the state of being.

Because essentially you don't need to do anything.

But we have conditioned ourselves so often.

Only if I do x,

I allow myself to be happy.

Only if I do y,

I allow myself to be joyful.

Decondition it.

Relax.

No,

You don't need to do anything to be happy.

You don't need to do anything to be joyful.

You're worthy of your own emotion.

You're worthy to experience that which you are already.

Don't wait for another moment.

These are the two steps that you can use in order to bring yourself into a natural state of happiness while having your vision and successfully move towards your vision and your goals while experiencing joy and happiness along the way.

Know that relaxation is a crucial part for us to give ourselves permission to feel happy in that moment of our step that we're taking towards the goal.

And that we do not need to wait to reach our goal in order to feel those beautiful states of being.

You can simply feel it now.

And the degree of how much you allow yourself in this moment to be simply happy and joy is the degree that you will experience that too.

You will see yourself in a different state immediately once you allow yourself and give yourself permission to feel your being the way it is without trying to do anything about it.

Because the natural state of your being is joy.

Your body always tries to find a harmonious state with everything around you.

It tries to always bring everything into a homeostasis.

Right now you can feel it.

Inhalation,

Exhalation,

Inhalation,

Exhalation.

The pendulum of life is trying to balance your being so you can experience this moment.

It's not just inhalation,

Inhalation,

Inhalation.

That would disbalance the system.

There's exhalation right after the inhalation and exhalation right after the inhalation.

And so that's what brings the balance.

And that's why often mindfulness and meditation techniques focus on the breath as a center point because it teaches us this simple principle of balance.

It's happening all the time.

And that I don't need to do anything in order to balance and come back to balance because balance is already there.

Balance is what my being is.

And so if I want to experience a state of balance I just need to let my being be.

I just need to let my being be.

I don't need to do anything for it.

Simply allow your being to be.

Inhalation,

Exhalation.

Don't try to be something.

Don't try to do something.

Don't try to have something.

Just allow your being to simply be.

And so you naturally realize your being comes back into a state of balance.

In fact your body and mind comes into a state of balance.

Your being already is.

So thank you for being here with me today and I'll see you in the next video.