My Journey In Overcoming Perfection

This is a talk about my journey of overcoming my own imperfections and how I deal with my current imperfections in becoming more confident and finding my own voice. As well as how Safe Circle started and what it is all about, which is going against perfection to heal within art.

Transcript

Hey loves, Welcome. I have another talk, Improvise, From the heart today. And just mind any of the sounds around me. Some of them I can't help. But yeah, I want to talk a little bit about my journey of imperfection. So, If you have been with me for some time now, Thank you. That's so amazing. And hopefully you can see a little bit of how I am presenting my content. But if you're not, Welcome. And yeah, I want to talk a little bit about my journey of imperfection. So, For the past, I would say almost three years. So I went to art school in 2010 and was there for like five years. And then I had another five years where I was finding myself, What I wanted to do artistically. And then eventually I fell into like a design collective. And you know, I have learned so much from everything that I've encountered. And I'm at a place where I'm able to be okay with everything. I'm still healing in some ways, But I am okay. And I'm able to take all the lessons to be learned. But what I've learned is that we all have different styles of creating. Some people create to find this control. They just need to find control in their life and their art or whatever it is they tackle is catered in that way. And I think some people, Me particularly, When I do my art, I want it to be fluent. I want to let go. I want to let loose. Because I feel like, You know, For me personally, Having anxiety, Depression, And a mental illness, Like there's a lot of control aspects where you feel like you need to be in control all the time, At least in my case. And I find that it's always a challenge, But I always feel so good when I'm able to let my guard down, To be true to myself, To let go, To dance, To do a talk like this from the heart. Because I've been studying about the balanced mind and what it means. And it talks about how if you're invalidated for some time and over time, It can stick with you and you start to not trust your own ideas and what you think of yourself and the world around you. You start to take on beliefs of others around you. And so for me, The last, I would say like three years or so, It feels like a lifetime and it really, What I went through mentally, It affects you in the long run, At least for me. It's really hard to unprogram when you've been stuck into ways of thinking that are limiting. Regarding perfection, I felt like we were striving for this type of perfection that there's a degree where perfection is necessary, You know, Elements of it. But then there's an element of, You know, Just feeling trapped. This is, Of course, This is all my experiences when you're not able to mess up. Like the fear of failing becomes huge when you're striving for that level of perfection. Because I think perfection is good because you're able to challenge yourself and have great content. And I'm not saying that that's a bad thing in any way. I just think it's also how you view perfection and how your mind is programmed, Let's say, Or processing things or not processing things. Going back to the balanced mind, I felt I just didn't trust. I would say like the last year particularly, I just stopped trusting my intuition. I stopped trusting my ideas. I lost a lot of confidence. And I even had a hard time like speaking. I had so much anxiety. I mean, So many elements were happening outside of me as well as mentally. So I have left that for some time now for a couple of months. And I feel myself finding my voice again and being okay with the imperfection part. When you're able to be free and let go and not be perfect, You're able to find things that you would have never known would have worked for you. Like for me to improvise a talk in the beginning when I started was like, I would never do that. What would I say? Like I would just be saying like and um so many times and I was like, I would never do that. But now as I'm progressing, I am having a lot more confidence in myself. And I just, The passion I have in the way that I speak, In my opinion, Is so much more profound than when I have like a scripted dialogue of what I'm going to say. And I find that that's something I really enjoy, Losing that script and just talking. It's sort of, For me, It's building my confidence, Building my voice, Building my beliefs, And not being shut down for not being perfect. Yeah, I think when you're afraid to fail and you are afraid of what people think, It can really affect you in so many ways. You end up overthinking and over-feeling and we forget about the under-feeling and under-thinking aspect where we balance our mind, Essentially. So, For instance, Like when it comes to my talks, I really like to let go generally is what I'm liking, The style that I've been doing recently. And when it comes to other things like meditations or poetry, I like them to be pretty clean and pristine as much as I can, But it's okay if I, You know, They're not perfect, But I would like them to be more clean. But when it comes to these talks, Like, It's my opportunity to just come here and process what I've learned and share it and hopefully someone will find what I have to say inspiring in some way. And when I first started, I just wanted to help myself. I wanted to be able to come to my own content when I felt I needed to heal or be reminded of some sort of words or meditate on something that I kept forgetting. And as I was progressing, I was like, Wow, Like, It's amazing to have people really interested in the things I'm doing. And I was like, Wow, It's cool that I can do this for myself, But then be able to inspire people as well. So that is so awesome. And I think as I'm progressing and as I'm learning to essentially balance my mind again, I'm realizing like what it is that I want to be to people and to myself is like, I don't want to be shut down for not being perfect, For having noises in the background, For going off on topics, Which it happens, Right? Especially, For example, Like if I'm not practiced enough and improvising, Because I think there's also practice in improvising as well. So, Yeah, I don't know. Sometimes, You know, When I mentioned that these meditations and what Safe Circle is all about is really going against perfection and reprogramming to what you think and what you believe. There's always going to be people who just don't get it and are going to find better content, Which is fine. It's awesome. Like, You know, There's so much content on this platform, But I don't know if, You know, People are going to find it not interesting and one talk takes them away from all of my content. Well, That's fine. I recently had a talk about basically difficult people in terms of the four agreements. And I talked a lot about, You know, Why people say the things that they do or, You know, How we shouldn't take it personal. Because, I think the truth is when we see someone who's not perfect, It's hard because I think we all have a sort of level of needing to be in control or having things perfect, Essentially. And when it's kind of messy or doesn't fit into those blocks, People just don't like it. And I just want to say, Like, Anyone who, You know, Is afraid to speak or do art and post it, Because I think a part of expressing your art is showing it. Because there's a lot of things that I do that I don't have a lot of people commenting on. And that's fine. Like, I've chosen, Like, Some places I don't care to have comments and some I'm like, Well, I'm going to be open to them. And I just want to say, Like, When it comes to negative comments, Just go ahead and just delete them. You don't need them. It really can create like an imbalance thinking pattern. But I want to tell you that if those comments come, I mean, Sometimes it's okay to consider them and be like, Yeah, Maybe I was a little bit all over the place in that talk. But you can also be like, But what I'm trying to accomplish here is being imperfect and challenging myself with that. And I even mentioned, Like, In some of the talks, Like, How I'm trying to be imperfect. And then there's still people addressing that. And I just want to say that no matter what you do in your life, You're always going to have people who basically are not going to be happy with what you do. And I know I've mentioned in my past talks about how, You know, There's going to be ups and downs in life. There's going to be people who don't like you or like you no matter what. And there's also going to be people who don't like what you do as well, No matter what you do. And I think you can, I truly think you can be, And it's true, You can be like an amazing famous artist like Logic or Taylor Swift or Drake or Kanye West and someone is going to have something to say about you, Whether it's about your personal life or what you do creatively. And don't let it stop you. Don't let it stop you. And I do believe that we all have so many things that we can share. It takes practice to believe in yourself, To believe that your voice matters. But I'm telling you that it does matter. It does matter. And there's something unique to your experience that so many people could relate to. So I really, Really, As I close this talk, Encourage you to listen to your heart. And if you do express and you do get negative feedback, Don't let it stop you. Continue. Because you will grow as you learn to let go of it and find your own voice and your value. And you will become better because essentially the more you do something, The better you will get. So thank you if you listen to this. I hope it helped. I really do. But yeah, Really practice on being imperfect for the day, For the week. And I will talk to you all soon. Thank you for listening.

Reviews

Beautiful. Thank you for the reminder!

I really enjoyed your talk! I have gone through a similar journey, thank you for sharing 🙌💫