Hi,
Thank you for joining me.
I've been thinking about what would it mean to become a friend.
To myself,
A better friend to myself.
Not to improve myself,
Not to fix myself.
Not even to love myself better,
But just to become a better friend.
And I'm wondering if you could consider that with me as we go through this video.
And I think it's helpful to think about it like an experiment.
When you think about it as an experiment,
Then you end up not taking it too seriously.
And the laboratory then can become my own thoughts,
My own feelings,
My own perceptions.
And like I say,
It's a little bit more playful when I think of it as an experiment.
You have this tendency,
I do,
To play conversations over and over again.
In my head.
That can be part of the laboratory too.
And what happens if I.
.
.
Instead of trying to constantly manage myself.
I simply begin to notice myself.
Michael Singer and others talk about the voice inside our heads,
And you've probably noticed that voice inside your head.
If you've been doing any sort of work like this.
That narrator who comments on everything.
And says things like I should've.
Said this or what if I had done that instead or Um.
.
.
Yeah,
And so what happens in the lab when we just begin to become.
.
.
A better friend to ourselves.
And we practice just being the one hearing the voice.
Not identifying with the voice.
I think that really changes things.
Because now we don't have to believe every thought.
We don't have to say,
Oh,
That's me.
We can be the observer.
And another part of being in the laboratory is not fixing,
Is not managing,
It's just being with.
Like you would sit beside someone or like a good friend would sit.
Beside you.
I don't know if you've ever had that experience where someone sits with you and you feel really heard,
It really makes a difference.
Um.
.
.
Maybe the kindest thing we can do for ourselves is to just be with ourselves in a gentle and kind fashion.
Um.
.
.
Maybe in the laboratory,
We can let go.
We can like things will begin to surface.
So maybe we can let go of resentment.
Maybe we can let go of the embarrassment of something that happened 20 or 30 years ago.
Um,
And maybe we can let go of all the crud.
That we collect because when we collect that crud,
It becomes a source of pain and then it butts up against our life and that's what creates such a mess.
And not because it wasn't real and not because it didn't hurt.
We're not denying that.
It's just because you just don't want it living rent free inside your head.
Another thing I heard Michael Singer say recently and Forgive the language of Man minus mind equals God.
So we could say,
Let's say the person or the human being minus the mind.
Equals God.
This is where the experiment gets really interesting.
You notice an irritation.
And you ask yourself,
Can I let it move through me?
You notice fear.
And you ask yourself,
Can I just let that move through me without.
.
.
Embedding it,
Or jumping on board with it,
Or trying to solve it,
Or even trying to get rid of it.
You notice the inner critic.
Can you just notice the inner critic without.
.
.
Again,
Engaging with it and just letting it flow through you.
Can you be a presence to yourself without judgment?
And all of this creates a little bit more room inside.
And I think that begins to change how we encounter everyone else,
As we become a better friend to ourselves,
As we accept our own humanity.
We bring less war into the room.
We bring more peace into the room,
Into the places that we're at and with the people that we're with.
And the more gently we can hold our own humanity.
The more gently we can hold others because we've been practicing and experimenting in the laboratory.
So it starts with us.
We notice,
We listen.
We let go when we can,
We certainly practice awareness and consciousness.
And we just see what happens because we're experimenting.
And maybe becoming a better person.
A friend to yourself isn't about creating a better version of yourself.
We let that go too.
Maybe it's about just getting out of the way.
And just seeing what emerges.
What sort of person emerges?
So take a moment and just.
Quiet yourself.
And I'll just ask you a few questions that you can sit with.
I'm going to give you just a little bit of space,
So if you want to come back to these,
Please do if you need more space.
Um,
So the first question is,
What am I carrying right now?
That I might be ready to let go of.
What am I carrying right now?
That I might be ready.
To let go of.
Give in touch with what you are carrying.
If you're ready to let go,
Let go.
And if you don't think that you are,
That's fine too.
Sometimes letting go with the breath,
If you're ready,
Is really helpful.
Just breathe in the situation or the thought or the thing that you're wanting to let go.
And then let it out and let it go.
I'm gonna leave it at that.
I think that's good.
Let's carry that one question.
I don't want to give you too much.
So what am I carrying right now that I might be ready to let go of?
And you can continue to ask yourself that throughout your day.
Thank you so much for joining me.
Take good care.
